I must be the only one... interacting with strangers...

[Trixie15]

I'm looking forward very much to my solo trip later this month! I'm married and have 4 kids but am leaving them behind this time to do a 12 day vacation all by myself.

I have been reading the forums and trip reports since September and there seems to be a common idea - you can make friends while in line so you won't be lonely, or people will chat with you so you don't feel alone, etc. Some have mentioned that they've been invited to eat with strangers or that they've made lifelong friends during their solo trips to Disney.

Am I the only one who is honestly looking forward to days and days of not having to socialize with anyone? To me, the idea of having to chat with random strangers in line just because I'm traveling solo is very uncomfortable. I don't particularly want to make new friends while I'm there, and I certainly would never want to share a table and have to small talk with a bunch of strangers at a restaurant. I loved going to Biergarten with my family because we could talk to each other - it was supremely awkward trying to chit chat with the other people at our table. I won't be going there this time since I'm alone.

It just seems like there's a background feeling of 'poor you, you're on vacation alone' and people try to fill whatever void they think you have with their idle chat. And also there is the perception that people who aren't open and friendly with everyone around them are stick-in-the-muds or sour-pusses which really isn't necessarily true.

It's actually one of my biggest anxieties about this trip - that people will constantly want to talk to me, that I'll have to make small talk all day when I honestly just want to be left alone, or that people will feel sorry for me. I planned this solo trip on purpose to be alone - to give myself a break from daily interactions with people and the constant feeling of being 'on'. I'm an introvert but I'm certainly not a sour-puss.

I'm not a mean person at all; I can make small talk with the best of them, and I can laugh and make jokes and smile and it will seem to the chatty stranger that I enjoy it and/or appreciate it becuase I have to do it every day at my work and I am good at it. But I don't really enjoy it and it's tiring having to be 'on' all the time. I hope I'm not coming across in a bad way because I don't mean to at all. I just always feel awkward and put on the spot when it comes to chit chat and I would really just rather people left me alone, LOL!

Am I alone?!

 

[BadPinkTink]

you sound just like me. I love my solo vacations, to Disney and to various cities and countries. While meeting up with Dis members for coffee for an hour or two might be nice, to put faces to names, do some pin trading etc, it honestly does not bother me if I dont chit chat with randoms.

In restaurants I bring a book or have my phone or just people watch. Sharing a table with randoms and having to make small talk is not for me. I go to a restaurant because I want to eat the food and experience the atmosphere.

The same when in line for an attraction. I am quite happy just to amble along , enjoying the sights and sounds. If some one asks me something, then yes I will respond.

Like you I have planned my solo trip to Disneyland Paris to be alone. I have alot going on in my day to day life and I dont get much alone time so my solo vacations keep me sane.

Just this past week we had a big family Christmas at my sisters house in England. On Monday 28 December I took myself off for a day trip to London. It was so nice just to escape for a day, sit on a train for 2 hours, meet a friend for coffee, then wander around the shops on my own and not have to talk to anyone.

 

[pharaoh]

You're definitely not alone. I am an AP so I go to Disney several times a year, but typically my longest trip and the trip I generally enjoy the most is my annual January trip where I go solo. I usually do 4 days and I really enjoy myself, doing whatever I'd like and taking in the sights and sounds on my own time. It's very relaxing for me.

Like you, I don't feel comfortable chatting with random strangers. I remain approachable and I respond when friendly strangers have something to say, but I try to keep my responses short and closed so they don't try to start a lengthy conversation.

It seems like you're worried that this will happen a lot.. it really doesn't, I promise. I have never felt like people feel sorry for me for being solo, most of the time they wouldn't even know. And no one is really paying attention to that sort of thing anyway. At first it was a little awkward to dine by myself, but I figure, there are several times a week I dine solo at a restaurant during my lunch break at work, so that is really no different. I've never been approached by strangers trying to make the solo girl feel less lonely. I could probably go a whole day with no one even noticing me at Disney World, so rest assured you won't be bombarded with strangers trying to chat you up.

 

[DisneyFan2013]

I did end up chatting with a few people here and there, but I didn't socialize for the most part. I could've made the effort to talk to more people because the opportunities were there, but I'm not a chatty person in general.

 

[DaisyDuck001]

Hi, I think you won't have these situations much or even at all. On my past solo trips, I've pre-arranged meet-ups for some meals and park touring because I like to make new friends, but during the times I didn't have any scheduled get-togethers, I didn't find that strangers were trying to chat or make small talk with me. Sometimes a cast member might say something in a friendly way, but I've found other guests are unlikely to initiate conversations with solos. Most of them are so focused on their own family that they won't even notice you at all. I think what you are worrying about is unlikely to happen to any significant degree.

 

[Stefecatzz]

I often go solo as I'm an AP in S FL. I find that people generally don't approach you or start conversations while you're in line, unless something unusual happens or you start one with someone. They tend to be more focused on the others in their party & not you. There have been times when I was approached while sitting at a QS table when it was crowded at MK or during F&W & people might ask if you mind sharing your table. But that never bothered me as I just make some small talk, enjoy my food & leave. If you give off the impression that you don't want to begin a conversation with someone, most of the time people will pick up on that if they are looking to start one with someone randomly. I have found that during the times when I'm really immersed in my own company & having a great time taking it all in on my own, not many people approach me. But there are other times when I am in more of a social mood & others do approach me more or I will start talking to them.

It's nothing to have anxiety about, though. You'll be fine. Enjoy your trip!!

 

[Bete]

I think you can make a solo trip what you want it to be with strangers. I have found most of the time as the soloist I would have to initiate the conversation. I would say that it happened 75% of the time that way.

You can choose quick service meals and even on the go meals to avoid mingling. Getting to shows last minute will avoid talking with strangers, too. Using fast pass plus will minimize ride queue conversations.

Going very early or staying very late will probably lend itself to less mingling, too.

 

[karly05]

OP, I am just like you, and I can say that, in 4 solo trips, I have NOT had strangers wanting to chat, be buddies, etc. - and I don't think I'm an off-putting person. There's been an occasional brief exchange of comments, good mornings, etc. but not anything more involved. IMO, most people are focused on their own trips/families, and I don't feel like I draw attention, positive or negative. Looks like a lot of other posters have had similar experiences.

 

[ludari]

Your definitely not alone. I feel the same way and I need my alone time to reenergize. I'm single so all my vacations to WDW, DLR and everywhere in between have been alone. In most situations and places I don't have any problems keeping to myself. They are exceptions and sometimes it's hard to get away especially if your in line for a ride but it all comes to an end once you get on the ride. My worse experiences have been on flights or when I cruise (I'm an avid Disney cruiser).

 

[jsmla]

I definitely feel the same way. I've come to truly enjoy my solo time but I'm not one who enjoys conversation with random strangers. DH is energized by the company of others but I tend to find it draining. There's a huge amount of hermit in my personality.

 

[Accident]

It just seems like there's a background feeling of 'poor you, you're on vacation alone' and people try to fill whatever void they think you have with their idle chat. And also there is the perception that people who aren't open and friendly with everyone around them are stick-in-the-muds or sour-pusses which really isn't necessarily true.

It's actually one of my biggest anxieties about this trip - that people will constantly want to talk to me, that I'll have to make small talk all day when I honestly just want to be left alone, or that people will feel sorry for me. I planned this solo trip on purpose to be alone - to give myself a break from daily interactions with people and the constant feeling of being 'on'. I'm an introvert but I'm certainly not a sour-puss.

The social butterflies are the ones who are very open and expressive here. It's part of how they solo and what they like. Just relax and if you want to be a social butterfly, there's is plenty of people around who enjoy where your standing too but it's not going to be this line of people waiting to hang out with you..

 

[DisneyFan2013]

OP, I am just like you, and I can say that, in 4 solo trips, I have NOT had strangers wanting to chat, be buddies, etc. - and I don't think I'm an off-putting person. There's been an occasional brief exchange of comments, good mornings, etc. but not anything more involved. IMO, most people are focused on their own trips/families, and I don't feel like I draw attention, positive or negative. Looks like a lot of other posters have had similar experiences.

Glad to hear I wasn't the only solo who didn't have a bunch of people trying to start conversations with me. lol I don't think people were unfriendly, but I just don't think it will be that hard to avoid socializing if you don't want to.

 

[superkick555]

I consider myself A shy person but all of the people I talked to on my recent dl solo trip were really cool.

 

[Dug720]

OP, I am just like you, and I can say that, in 4 solo trips, I have NOT had strangers wanting to chat, be buddies, etc. - and I don't think I'm an off-putting person. There's been an occasional brief exchange of comments, good mornings, etc. but not anything more involved. IMO, most people are focused on their own trips/families, and I don't feel like I draw attention, positive or negative. Looks like a lot of other posters have had similar experiences.

I agree. Sure there *can* be the occasional conversation in lines, but that doesn't have to happen - beauty of smartphones and/or even headphones... pretend to be involved in something with your phone or actually be, or stick in your ear buds (you don't have to be listening to anything (I would have them plugged in or tucked in your pocket so they look like they are) - trick you learn living in NYC to avoid the panhandlers, Jehovah's Witnesses, Scientologists, and street charity (the ones who try to talk you intone donating to their charity) people - faked phone calls and headphones work wonders). Meals, I can honestly say I've never experienced another party coming over or leaning over to chat when I was solo (now as an adult family on the cruise we did have the father at the table next to our decide that the maybe 12 inches between our tables meant that conversation needed to be started, but that's another story) and if there was an exchange it was as has been said "Good morning" or "Good evening" or (in the case of Marathon Weekend) "Congratulations!" to those wearing medals.

I travel solo pretty much all the time, and I can honestly say that I think at least 95% of any awkwardness or feeling like people are looking at me like "Oh poor thing" has been purely my own insecurities. I just approach it very much like when I'm walking down a street at night 9or any time really) - I project confidence and comfort in myself and my situation and pretty soon any thoughts of people looking at me with pity are gone.

 

[MouseMamaToMany]

Ha! You and I are so alike!!!

I have 5 kids, and leave them
all with daddy to take a solo trip every year.

My favorite part of my solo trips is going DAYS without talking to anyone beyond ordering a meal or talking to the occasional staff person if I need something. It is beyond heavenly!!! As I'm sure you know, with 5 kids, I often feel like I've used up all if my words by 9am. As for being talked to? Don't get me started! I adore those kiddos, but everyone wants to talk to me all day long!!

Don't stress about people talking to you. Some will, but most won't. I had a couple of lovely conversations in line, but mostly just enjoyed my quiet. Disney is a fabulous place to be alone without truly being alone!
I honestly never felt that anybody felt sorry for me because I was alone - not even when I sat down to a meal by myself.

I hope your trip is rejuvenating and wonderful. Have a blast!!

 

[flvy]

I will take to strangers and I don't mind making conversation at all, but I really enjoy not having to talk to people. I work in sales so I have to talk to people all day long and sometimes it's just awful.

I find most people are too wrapped up in their own vacations to really care that I'm doing anything alone.

 

[cheshirecollector]

OP, do you ever have people start talking to you in an elevator? That happens more often to me than someone talking to me at WDW. And most of the time, it's CMs who start the conversation. Guests are usually too distracted with their own vacations. I'm like you, but I've done 7 solo trips, and I don't remember ever being stuck in an uncomfortable conversation.

 

[lustergirl]

I guess I am quite the opposite. On my solo trips I enjoy talking to people, engaging in conversation. It is nice to learn where people are from, especially those from a foreign country.

 

[Trixie15]

This has been very reassuring! Reading through trip reports and other threads here on the Dis makes it sound like people just can't wait to pounce on a poor solo traveler, lol! For a while it seemed like every thread I was reading talked about how Solo Trip-Taker's boredom and loneliness were finally averted by kind people talking to them or whatever. I'm like - please just leave me alone, LOL!

Great tips about ear buds and other ways of looking busy without actually being busy. I am hoping to keep my phone put away while in lines - I enjoy people watching (but not engaging, LOL!) and looking at the actual stuff in the lines, and just enjoying being present. But I do also have a little notebook I plan to write in along the way and I think that would help me look busy as much as earbuds, though I'll bring those as well!

 

[reaux]

I am the same way. At a restaurant, bring a book (or a tablet, just something to look at!) and in my experience, people will leave you alone. Just "look busy" and they'll think you are