Claire&TheBoys
The Queen of the Castle!
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
- 6,335
Big ((hugs)) to you, OP! Unfortunately, I've been there. In 2005, my Reservist husband thought he would get deployed in summer 2006. We went ahead and got pregnant with our youngest, due in February, thinking he'd be home until July/Aug. Then in January 2006, the unit he was going with trimmed their staff from 3 teams to 2, and his was left out, so he wasn't going at all. We had our son in Feb 2006. The last Friday of April, 2006, my husband came home early from work (civilian job) and said, "I got a call today." He was gone 9 days later, the following Sunday. We had a 3-yr-old and a 2-month-old. There was really almost no time for tears and "trying to make every moment count" -- we were too busy just getting things ready for him to go. It was a very tough week. He then spent about 3 months at a base in Kansas training, and he got to come home for 2 long weekends and 1 week while he was in training. We cherished those moments together. He arrived overseas on 8/1, and was home for good on 7/20/07.
Looking back, that year is a blur. I really feel kind of bad that I don't remember my little boy's first year of life too much and that I didn't enjoy it as much as I "should" have because I was so preoccupied with his daddy being gone. But we made it through. The key for me was a good support system. As a Reservist, we are not stationed at an Army base, nor is his Reserve unit even in the same city that we live in. He was also a fill-in for another unit, so I had no other local military wives as support, except those at my church. My church family was a great source of comfort and support, and I'm very blessed to live in the same city as my parents and my sister and her family, and they were a huge support to me as well. My mother insisted on feeding me every night because she knew I wouldn't cook for just me and my preschooler, and going to their house almost every night gave me a break. The men from my Sunday School class cut my grass for me so I didn't have to worry about it.
Do put yourself out there to whatever family or friends you have and LET THEM HELP YOU. Accept help with your kids, yard work, whatever. I had church friends give me their cell numbers and say, "Call me ANYTIME you need to." Family friends offered to keep my kids for me if I needed a break. My dad rushed to my aid lots of times (like when the water pipe in the bathroom broke on Easter Sunday morning!).
Do allow yourself to look forward to his R&R, and maybe plan something special. Then, plan for his return. I planned a Disney vacation for after my husband's return. I kept a calendar with the number of days left to go till the year was up. I threw a "100 days to go" party for my family when we got to 100 days left, and I made a paper chain at that time and took a day off every day. That helped to see those last days ticking away.
Fast forward to 2009; he got notice he was getting mobilized this past January. He's serving stateside this time, and it's only 3.5 hours from home, so he gets to come home about every other weekend. It's still hard, but much easier than last time!
Best of luck to you!
Looking back, that year is a blur. I really feel kind of bad that I don't remember my little boy's first year of life too much and that I didn't enjoy it as much as I "should" have because I was so preoccupied with his daddy being gone. But we made it through. The key for me was a good support system. As a Reservist, we are not stationed at an Army base, nor is his Reserve unit even in the same city that we live in. He was also a fill-in for another unit, so I had no other local military wives as support, except those at my church. My church family was a great source of comfort and support, and I'm very blessed to live in the same city as my parents and my sister and her family, and they were a huge support to me as well. My mother insisted on feeding me every night because she knew I wouldn't cook for just me and my preschooler, and going to their house almost every night gave me a break. The men from my Sunday School class cut my grass for me so I didn't have to worry about it.
Do put yourself out there to whatever family or friends you have and LET THEM HELP YOU. Accept help with your kids, yard work, whatever. I had church friends give me their cell numbers and say, "Call me ANYTIME you need to." Family friends offered to keep my kids for me if I needed a break. My dad rushed to my aid lots of times (like when the water pipe in the bathroom broke on Easter Sunday morning!).
Do allow yourself to look forward to his R&R, and maybe plan something special. Then, plan for his return. I planned a Disney vacation for after my husband's return. I kept a calendar with the number of days left to go till the year was up. I threw a "100 days to go" party for my family when we got to 100 days left, and I made a paper chain at that time and took a day off every day. That helped to see those last days ticking away.
Fast forward to 2009; he got notice he was getting mobilized this past January. He's serving stateside this time, and it's only 3.5 hours from home, so he gets to come home about every other weekend. It's still hard, but much easier than last time!
Best of luck to you!
Vent away....
