I just gotta take a minute and vent!!!!!

[6_Time_Momma]

I am sick of hearing "Don't you have enough, yet?" "Don't you know what causes that?" "Are you crazy?" "Don't you have a tv?" "I'm glad it's you and not me!!" "You must be Catholic!" etc. ect. etc.

I could go on and on. Seriously, what makes people feel the need to comment on my choices? My mom is the worst one. I haven't even told her about this pregnancy yet. She has already made comments like "You'll ruin your life if you have another one" "You just can't Kristy!!!"

I am not on welfare. My husband and I support our family. They have plenty. They are great kids. They do better than excellent acedemically and socially. They are given citizenship awards. They don't fight/argue anymore than your typical siblings. I even have people come up to me and comment on how well behaved the kids are. (Not meaning to sound braggy, but it is true) People comment all the time on their behavior.

People have asked me how I can give each of them adequate time and attention. That they must be suffering and we must have to spread ourselves too thin to be good for the kids.

So why does it bother others so much about my choice to have however many children I want too???? Why is it anyone's business about the size of my family?!?!?!?

It just drives me batty that I cannot share news that overjoys me without having to hear stuff like that from others!!!




Okay, vent over!!! Sorry to unload here, but that just irritates the heck out of me hearing stuff like that!!!!!!!!

 

[Wishydoo]

Why is it anyone's business about the size of my family?!?!?!?

It's not their business. That's between you and your DH.
Try not to let it bother you.

and....Congratulations!

 

[debster812]

Ditto what Wishy said!!! Congratulations too.

I figure you are the balance to me. DH and I have one child, and right now, this is perfect for our life, and I get the flip side of what you are getting:

When are you going to have another?

Oh, he can't be an only child?

Don't you miss having a baby?

And on and on and on....

Sorry to derail your vent Kristy, but I can totally related to where you are coming from.

Oh, and did I mention, congratulations???

 

[binny]

(((hugs)))

Im sure thats really hard! I had a friend who had 11 kids. In this day and age thats certainly not the norm but they said they would take whatever God graced them with.

I must say, those were some of the best kids Ive ever known! They were well adjusted with a wonderful sense of community!



I have said, jokingly , that I was glad it wasnt me. I didnt mean it in any way towards her but I am very thankful for my 3 kids and I know, for us, ( God willing) its the right way for us. Not that that is any defense but its all Ive got and Im being honest

I think maybe people who say stuff like dont mean to be nasty, they just cant imagine being in the situation and loving it, as you obviously do!

 

[FOJMO]

I have to admit that I do tend to look at people with say, more than 3 children, as out of the ordinary. I certainly don't judge, but I do know that it wouldn't be me for all the tea in China!

However, everyone makes their OWN choices, and as the previous poster said, it is YOURS and your DH's choice.

My DH comes from a family of six children, his one sister has 5 children, another sister has 6 children, and his one brother has 4. My in-laws have 21 grandchildren and 2 great grandchildren.

I came from a family of 3 children. The first time I went to Thanksgiving at my DH's parents' home, I thought I would go deaf from the noise - LOL!

But over the past 22 years of marriage, I have come to love and cherish each and every one of the children and see how they made it work and never once thought of having it any other way!

Bravo to you and you just ignore (what else can you do?) those comments. That's a shame that you can't even tell your Mom about your pregnancy because of her expected reaction. I have a very negative mother too!

Just look at it this way -- it sounds as if no matter HOW MANY or HOW FEW children you have, your Mom would find something wrong!!!

 

[poohbears5]

I know exactly what stupid things people can say I actually had people ask mostly cashiers or waitresses if they are all same father !! ( I say yea and same mother can ya believe it )

 

[Serena]

Oh people think it's there business to question your choices regardless of what they are. My two children were fine and every decision I made concerning them were questioned. Then my sister had twins and all of a sudden I was supposed to have more because she caught up. Like it's some sort of contest. If I let it, it would have drove me crazy.

I wish I had advice for you.

 

[snoopy]

As one of 9 children, all I can say is I am thankful that there are parents like you & your husband and my Mom & Dad who have so much love to give. Its not for everyone, but those who choose to have big families are not doing their children any disservice, trust me. We never had much growing up in the way of material things, but you can bet we more than made up for it in the way of love and togetherness. I am still very close with my siblings today, probably a lot closer than some people are with their siblings, but I attribute that to the closeness we all had growing up - not just close in age, but close in heart.

I also think being one of many in a family teaches you a lot about teamwork. My mother made every chore a team effort, and doing chores was not so bad when you had a host of brothers and sisters to share it with.

I wouldn't let the naysayers get me down, Kristi, you be proud of your decisions and stand tall! I'm sure your kids love having each other, and are thrilled about the new baby. And they are all that matters. I do hope your mother comes around, because it must be tough having a mom who is not supportive of your decisions, but all in all, the only people that matter are you, your husband, and your children.

 

[Cinderellafifi]

When I was pregnant with my son I went grocery shopping with my DD and two DSDs. A man walked by us and said, "Trust me, you have enough." As he was swirling his finger around the girls in the cart. I replied, "They are cheaper by the dozen."

It is nobody's business about your decision to have a large family. I wish people would stop being so insensitive! Big hugs to you!

 

[Val]

Boy- do I feel the same way!!!!! I am a university professor, and mother of 4. I am very dedicated to my job AND my children (hubby, too, for that matter). When I was pregnant with my fourth I was actually asked (by someone who's major research area is sexual harassment, BTW) if I was going to get an abortion because certainly I wouldn't have a 4th if I was serious about my career!!!!

Ugh! I CAN and DO support all my kids. They are not street urchins (well, my son's hair often looks like he may be close to urchin), they are not failing in school, and have not been arrested. I am not the best mom, but I am certainly NOT the worst. Same goes with the job- not the best prof, not the worst!!! I guess that universities, while promoting "free thinking and open minds" in many ways are WAY more sexist than most places- we have lots of Politically correct policy that we hide behind, but underneath it all its the same ol' same ol' x 10!

Don't give up! The DIS supports your decisions- be it one, none or 15 little ones!!!!

 

[CindyKansas]

My Aunt, who is 4 years older than myself, has 12 children. The oldest is 24 the youngest is 4. The oldest had her first child last June and is currently expecting twins. My uncle is an instructor at Kansas State University and she Home Schools. I think she's crazy, but hey, it's her life and I figure she can do what she wants.

 

[janette]

Just ignore them Kristy, I think some people are blessed with the ability to nurture and truly enjoy their children. You seem to be that kind of person.

I don't mean the rest of us don't care about our kids but I sometimes wish I had a little more of that Momma touch.

I'm one of 11, we also had other people who were treated as part of our family. Kind of our unofficial siblings. My parents are very religious, although I don't think they realize it I think that the lives they touched of their own children and our unofficial siblings have been their greatest gift or ministry.

 

[SonjaB]

Kristy, people make judgements about everyone they come in contact with, fair or unfair, it's human nature. They're going to do it no matter WHAT you do, so you might as well make yourself happy. Enjoy your babies and to them.

 

[Cthia]

I want to say Congratulations on the baby.

We will share your joy with you.

This should be a very happy and special time. Enjoy it. Don't let it bother you what other people say. (Maybe they are jealous).

If I could handle having that many children I would. God has blessed with these children, enjoy each and every one of them.

 

[4greatboys]

I do understand what you are talking about. My own family member told me after my first 2 ds that 2 was enough. When I got pg with ds #3 they told me I didnt need anymore. So when we tried to conceive ds #4 and I had to have laproscopic surgery to get pg (my tubes had lots of adhesions and 1 had to be removed) we didnt even tell them I was having surgery. My best friend watched the 3 yr old while the other 2 were in school. When we finally got pg with #4 people were rolling their eyes like oh no not another (not my friends, family members). Quite honestly probably the only reason we are stopping at 4 is because we are getting elderly, lol. 38 and 39.
The other side to having 4 boys is the people who dont care how many I have but are certain I must have a girl in the mix and my life is incomplete without one. If we would have a girl that would have been great but instead God blessed with 4 boys and I'm thankful everyday.

 

[Krisu]

I wish I could give you a snappy retort for these people I find it incredible that people comment on things that are really none of their business. Kristy, if I could have had more I would have. I for one would say to you how wonderful for a child to come in to a home with parents that love them and each other Ignore them!!!

 

[kinlaw6450]

Being the oldest of 5 I have heard these comments throughout my life directed at my own mother. But like you she was happy about her decision!

We always received compliments when we were out in public. Our behavior was impeccable! We weren't bullied or threatened we were raised well!!

My DH constantly complains about how many of us there are (now that we are grown there are 3 times as many!) We have given my mother 12 grandchildren!!

So Kristy, although having lived it I know I couldn't do it myself there are plenty of people out there who support you and adore ALL of your brood!

 

[Boots]

I think it is wonderful that you have the children! They are a blessing! I always wanted more than two children but it just wasn't meant to be. Anyway I just think you should ignore them. My mother in law is one of 14, 11 girls and 3 boys. They are all very close and turned out wonderful! I don't think I know of a happier family. Like I said earlier I think your children are great!

 

[Mishetta]

I do understand your frustration, being at the other end of the spectrum.....we only had one child for 6 years. Not that we weren't trying but that's all God gave us until I hit 42! Then I (finally) got pregnant again! It is very annoying to hear people make jokes (I don't think any of them meant it in a mean way) but I wanted to tell them "mind your own business!" As I'm sure you do! I guess the worst part is hearing it from your mother though. I'm very sorry. (Oh, and you can't imagine the remarks if you're pregnant past 40 y/o!)

If anyone says anything again, just let them know that God saw it fit to bless you yet another time! Right?

I'm envious of you!

 

[snowwhitemom]

Every time I read or see one of your post I will admit that I always think........Wow, she is so BLESSED!!!!!! I am so jealous of you, it takes a very strong woman to physicaaly have 6 children and even a stronger woman to raise six. I applaud you for being you. I am very much a career woman who is very much into "women power" for lack of a better phrase.... so whenever I see someone out that has a large family I think they made the right choices....just imagine your home in say 20 years.....lots of love is what I see. My only child is now 7, it took me a few years and good advice and admiration of women such as yourself that well.........I am too now expecting my second child, I wish that I had not let my business and career take up so much of my life...but girl things are changing now!!!! Many congrats to you and Thank you for being such a strong person and contributing to the world so much!!!!! A smile for each child, that will be 8 right...they all do not have to live on earth!!!