I just gotta take a minute and vent!!!!!

[6_Time_Momma]

I do hope your mother comes around, because it must be tough having a mom who is not supportive of your decisions, but all in all, the only people that matter are you, your husband, and your children.

Yes, it stinks not having my mom happy about my having/wanting more kids. When I was talking to her the day I went into the hospital to deliver my stillborn daughter, she commented "This may not be the right time to ask this, but are you going to have him tie your tubes while your in there?"

Needless to say, I was shocked. Not that she would say that, but that she felt so strongly against me having more kids that she would say it at that time.

I really wonder if she realizes how much it hurts me to hear her say things like that and my DH told me I really need to sit down and talk to her, especially after her comment after losing Gabrielle, but I just think she should know better.

 

[snoopy]

Oh, geez, how hurtful and insensitive of your mother to say that. I'm sorry that you would have to deal with that on top of the pain I know you were feeling.

 

[Mishetta]

I just thought of a magnet my friend has on her fridge....If I find the same one, I will send it to you. It says:

"If it's not one thing, it's your Mother!"

Sorry, but it seems to fit in this case. (No disrespect intended towards your mother.)

 

[nativetxn]

I've met your children, Kristy. I'm one of those people who think your kids are the best behaved children I've ever seen. This is not an exaggeration.

Try to ignore the comments.

 

[helenabear]

I have nothing else to say except that I am so sorry {{{HUGS}}}

 

[Talking Hands]

TEll them to MYOB! I'm actually jealousof you. I wanted a big family but because of medical problems could only have 2. People are real nervy when they decide what is right for others.

 

[Pembo]

Oh Kristy! I'm so sorry that people can be so rude. It's even worse when it is your own family.

I can honestly say to you I don't know how you do it but God Bless You. 3 kids is enough for me but I've seen the pictures of yours and they are adorable.

Congratulations to you and just tell people to SHUT UP! Or vent here, we'll listen!

Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!

 

[Spirit Feather]

I love BIG families!

I wanted a big family, but did not get one

I love watching the interactions between all of the siblings and between the parents and the kids. Most of the larger families that I know sound very much like yours.

Do not pay attention to what others say and feel free to vent here anytime.

 

[goofygirl]

"If it's not one thing, it's your Mother!"

LOL!!

Seems the grass isn't greener ANYWHERE!

6 Time/7 Time Momma, as you know, I'm on the extreme flip side you know- the decision to have ZERO kids. My mom said hurtful things to me as well ("Suppose I felt THAT WAY?", "Arent you being selfish?" "You should JUST GET USED TO babies!", "You'll CHANGE your mind later!" "How could you NOT WANT a kid?" You want to live with CATS for the rest of your life??!", blah, blah, blah!!!) Finally, she gave up and then did a 180 turn around and totally supports me now! So you never know!

I think you're mom also be genuinely concerned about your health and your future. Moms constantly worry, don't they? Behind her comments, there is caring.

 

[Dan Murphy]

As adoptive parents, twice over, we sure had our share of 'comments' for years. It can be very hurtful, Kristy, sharing your your pain.

{{Hugs}}

Dan

 

[paras4ri]

You have a beautiful family and clearly love them very much.
If you choose to share that love with more children....be it 7 or 10 or whatever........that's wonderful!!!

 

[Girls Scout Leader]

I, too, was on the flip side of that coin.
We really did not want to have kids.

Every body, and I mean EVERYBODY said the same thing..
"You'll change your mind later".

We tried to find a doc who could make the decision more permanent.
"You'll change mind later"

Well, guess what. The pill is not 100% effective.
Bingo.
Hard time. Really. Very low income. Very young.
Tried to keep it a secret like if we ignored it, it would go away.
When the truth finally got around, what did we hear?
"I told you you'd change your mind".

Big baby. 11 lbs. Natural. Lots of complications.

I love my daughter to death. We both do. And she knows that she was not a "mistake", she was a "surprise".

I was an only child growing up in a very rural area, like we are in now. Well, actually the same area. And it was lonely. we joke that we had our son so she would have someone to fight with.

And what did we hear?
"After the last one, you should have given up having more kids".

The moral of my story? You can't win. There are nincompoops everywhere.

And when they ask how you divide your love, tell them you multiply it instead.

 

[zulaya]

Some people can't get it, or like everyone else says, think they know everything. DD and DS are 11.5 months apart. They look like twins - DD is pretty tall. Just about every time someone new sees them - "oh are they twins?" - like it's special - and then when I say no, people are like "Oh, you must have been busy." Irritating to say the least.

On the other hand, I have met a few people who commented that they have a sib 10 or 11 months apart and that sib is their best friend to this very day and they wouldn't have it any other way. Although I admit that thost people are few and far between.

People probably comment negatively because they either A) don't feel they have the capacity to love 6 children and give them individual attention or B) were one of those kids from large families who really didn't get enough attention growing up and are super sensitive to it.

It's hard to ignore the nay-sayers, especially when one is your own mother. Do the best you can, and maybe sit down and get it off your chest with your mom about how she is making you feel.

 

[ASFCurly]

I have a neighbor with 8 and they all do fine, and have enough attention

my aunt has 5 children and when I tell people they say, wow, that is a lot, and at times it can be, and my aunt can be overwelmed, but she would never want less, even the thought of one of my cousins not being around and her having less kids is making me sad right now, she spends time with all of them and she even homeschools 2 of them (the older 2 are in high school and the youngest is just 2.5) my Dad is also one of 5 and I love having a big family, I have 21 cousins and it is the best. I know it can hurt to have people ask why would you have another, but it isn't any of their business and some people really are just mean people and mean people suck, ignore them.

 

[Disney Doll]

The best thing to do is ignore them. Perhaps you cans ay "well, since we don't ask you to help us raise them, don't worry about it."

DH and I are in the opposite boat...we have no kids. After several years of trying with many medical procedures etc, we came to the conclusion that it was not what God wanted for us. I have had people ask if I have any children, and when I say "no", they ask "oh why?". My response is "because God didn't give us any". and that usually shuts them up.

It always amazes me what subjects people think they have the right to comment about. Liek the number of kids you have is anyone's business other than yours and DH's.

 

[Angel717]

As a mom of 5 kids, I can relate with how you're feeling. It gets old really fast to hear comments like those and many people can be very rude.
On the other hand, I hope you also get comments on how beautiful your family is and how blessed you have been.

(I have 5 boys, so the comment I hear most often after "Are they all yours?" is "Are you going to try for a girl?" )

-If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart.

 

[KimRaye]

Don't know where I'd be today if not for big families!! Mom's 1 of 9, Dad's 1 of 7 and, dh is 1 of 8!

The ones who don't think there's enough love to go around, just don't have enough themselves, imo.

{{HUGS}} Kristy!!

 

[mickeyfan1]

I have one, and God bless those of you with more. It was my choice to have only one, but if you can have more and provide for them, than it's no one's business but yours. In my city, we have a very large Morman community, and the families are very large. No one ever asks about family size here. People just don't think, like all the other posters have said. But the line about I won't ask you to raise them could come in handy!

 

[BethR]

{{{HUGS}}} Kristy! Some people are just STUPID!!!

 

[s&k'smom]

Hey six time momma, couldn't even finish reading the threads I was getting so mad. But I did want to offer my congratulations to you. I've enjoyed many of your posts and think you and your family sound terrific.