I just gotta take a minute and vent!!!!!

[bananiem]

"-If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart." Angel 717

Priceless! Use that quote. I love it!
Seriously though, Kristy- I'm sorry you get grief about such a personal chooice. Just know that your DIS friends are behind you!

 

[Jeafl]

People can be cruel and insensitive no matter how many children you have. Someone told my then 5-yr. old DD that she must have been an accident since we already had a boy and a girl. My poor daughter cried over that. She assumed that we didn't really want her. I assured her that that was not the case and that she was very much wanted. People just don't think before they speak. Diarrhea of the mouth, my mother always says!

 

[Mskanga]

It's nobody's business but yours and your dh's!
I have two children and I get the ....are they both the same father's? Just because one has brown hair and the other one is blonde. I wouldn't dare to ask anyone that question.
Then I get the, when are you going to try for the boy? We are not having anymore children , two is enough for us.
It seems to me that large families or more than one child by the same father , are not normal anymore.
I was also asked not too long ago how long I had been married, I said 14 years, then the person says , what number marriage is this one for you and how long have you been married? I said first marriage and 14 years, she looked at me like I had three heads!
So whatever people think Kristy, including family members, don't pay any attention to them. They don't live your life!

 

[Chattyaholic]

I've just been shaking my head reading about the comments some people make to others about how many children they have, or don't have. Ridiculous. It is NOBODY'S business but the parents. And SHAME ON YOUR MOTHER for not being supportive of YOUR decision on the size of YOUR family!! If I were you I would definitely let her know how hurtful she is being. My DD has been married three years and at first she really didn't want to have any children. I didn't interfere. Now she is starting to warm up to the idea of children. I still don't interfere. I can THINK how nice it would be to have another grandchild but I wouldn't SAY that to her. It is HER decision, along with her husband. It isn't any of MY business if they have children now or never.

People can just be so insensitive. Still shaking my head....

One more thing, I have a son and a daughter, two children is perfect for US. I think I would go crazy with a bigger family, but for people who CHOOSE to have big families, why should it bother ME? I'm not the one who's raising them. Now if the parents are on welfare and keep having kids, that's a whole different topic for discussion!!

 

[Sal]

And when they ask how you divide your love, tell them you multiply it instead.

If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart

These two quotes make me wish I had more than my two children!

Chattyaholic, I think you are a very wise and thoughtful mother and mother-in-law.

Kristy, YOU GO GIRL!! It is very obvious that you are a wonderful mom and your family is blessed. Congratulations to you!

 

[Ranatra]

It seems that most of us that grew up in the 60's came from large families. They were 5 kids in my family, and we were one of the smaller families on the street. There were families with 6 kids, 7, 8, even 9. Why was it ok then, but now if you have a big family, people think you're crazy?
I admire anyone that Parents a big family. I have nothing but respect for them. I, myself, stopped at 3, I thought that was all I could handle. Congratulations on your pregnancy! Bringing a new life into the world is always a joyous occasion!

 

[BrerMom]

Originally posted by Jeafl
People can be cruel and insensitive no matter how many children you have. Someone told my then 5-yr. old DD that she must have been an accident since we already had a boy and a girl. My poor daughter cried over that. She assumed that we didn't really want her. I assured her that that was not the case and that she was very much wanted. People just don't think before they speak. Diarrhea of the mouth, my mother always says!

I can't tell you how many people think our youngest son was a surprise because he's five years younger than our older son and we already had a girl and a boy. We planned it that way!

Maybe your mom thinks she's looking out for you and just doesn't know how to verbalize it well. My grandma didn't want my aunt to have her sixth child because raising five was so hard for them financially.

 

[powellrj]

(((((HUGS)))))

 

[goofygirl]

Every body, and I mean EVERYBODY said the same thing.."You'll change your mind later!"

I am still hearing that sometimes- at age 34! I guess I'll hear it til I'm past childbearing age!

My mom got a lot of flack because she was a single mom when being a single parent was a "no-no." They all said "A child NEEDS TWO PARENTS in the home." And I was also an only child. She was told "A child NEEDS a sibling."

I am grateful that she only had me, I thought, and still think that being an only is great!

No offense to anyone with a lot of children- but I honestly do wonder how those with a lot can afford it, and don't they get really tired?? I'm tired WITHOUT children!

 

[Popsicle]

Kristy, the first thing I thought when I read your post was, "There will be lots of cousins!" My mother was one of ten. I am one of three. Somehow cousins are the closest thing to having sisters or brothers if you don't have sisters and brothers.

As long as you and your husband love and cherish them, and you all love and cherish each other, it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks!!!

 

[Pembo]

No offense to anyone with a lot of children- but I honestly do wonder how those with a lot can afford it, and don't they get really tired?? I'm tired WITHOUT children!

Goofy Girl-I am ALWAYS tired! So the answer to your question is yes, you get really tired. And to the how can you afford it? I don't know. You just do.......It all seems to work out somehow. I guess that is what you call faith.

 

[Ladyn]

You go girl! I know exactly how you feel! I am a mom of 7 and every where I go I too hear those same words. My kids names go in ABC order, we ended at the letter G. Only by our choice. But boy would I still love another one. Just remember they are all yours! I am thrilled for you. Don't worry about your mom, mine did the same thing. I remember waiting until I was over 3 months with one of my babies, MOM figured it out before I could tell her, I was showing, hehehehe. Just think of all the grandchildren you will have. The kids are never bored, they always have a playmate, Birthdays are great you have enough children for a party without having to have more, but more is better, and not to mention how fantastic christmas is! But no bother, this is YOUR family. You have my full support. God Bless You. Yes, to others this may be expensive but you learn to shop, shop and shop for bargins, you have plenty of hand-me-downs, and so what if you take an extra 30 minutes to get ready to go somewhere. Those who don't have a large family have no idea what they are missing, a whole lotta love I say.
Mom of 7

 

[Nikole]

Kristy........ignore the morons! Don't let them get to you! THey are rude and insensitive! Only you and your husband can decide what's right for your family! *Besides you can always say that you're helping out for those folks who don't have kids...... like me*

 

[dzneprincess]

I get the same comments! We are expecting our 4th! My favortie thing to do though, when someone says " Dont you know what causes that? " I just look at them in all seriousness, and say " Yeah, thats the problem, its so darn fun! " You should their mouths agape!

AS far as being tired and affording it. THere is no doubt that we are both very tired ! VERY. But it is well worth it, and it is not a something that you are feeling all day everyday. Only when you are overwhelmed. I gotta say though, I felt no difference between having 2 children as opposed to 3. Made no difference on how tired I was, I just had another to share my heart with. I expect it will be much the same with number 4. Affording it, well luckily DH and both have very good paying jobs and we are fine. We are able to support our family, and for the most part go out and buy not only what we need, but also what we want. IE vacations, disney world trips. Now, if I chose to stay home with my children, we would more than likely have to cut back to just the nessecaties (sp?) and wekk theres just no fun in that So we work, the kids go to school, and we have fun as a family, Thank God without having to scrimp and save just to get by.

 

[maddiemom]

It always amazes me the rude things that people have the nerve to say....especially when it comes to having children and being pregnant. In the end the decision to have more children is only up to you and your husband. Let others think what they will. As long as you and your children are happy....that is all that counts!

 

[poohbear1029]

I am one of those who hears just the opposite!! I am 31, married 9 years this year and we have no children yet. People are generally nosey and pushy and want to know things like, arent you ever going to have kids? What kills me is that we havent tried to get pregnant yet, and I hope that we are able to when we want to, but what if we had been trying for the last 9 years and this was a real struggle for us?? People's nosiness is amazing!!!

One of my friends who is just now pregnant after 7 years of marriage is having such a tough time with comments. She is typically very petite, probably a size 4. Well, she is not anymore and I think she looks beautiful pregnant. Everyone keeps telling her she's fat....one woman (lacking ALL social skills) even said to her...."Isnt it disgusting? But, dont worry its just temporary." YIKES!!!

Not having been pregnant before, I am sure that it is a beautiful thing, but especially the first time, if you have never carried extra weight in any fashion it has to be hard to watch your body change....why do people feel they have the right to insult a pregnant woman? I told her she should start pointing out their flaws. "Gee, did you notice how bald you were getting?" or "Has it really been that long since you waxed your unibrow!?"

 

[BrerMom]

Originally posted by dzneprincess
I get the same comments! We are expecting our 4th! My favortie thing to do though, when someone says " Dont you know what causes that? " I just look at them in all seriousness, and say " Yeah, thats the problem, its so darn fun! " You should their mouths agape!

 

[WDW Poly Princess]

I wish I knew what made people think it was any of their business to comment on such things! It seems like someone is always saying "Why dont you have kids yet?" "You are having kids THAT close together?" or if not that "You're having kids that far apart?" "Why dont you have more?" "Why do you have so many?"

Crazy people!

 

[snoopy]

why do people feel they have the right to insult a pregnant woman? I told her she should start pointing out their flaws. "Gee, did you notice how bald you were getting?" or "Has it really been that long since you waxed your unibrow!?"

heh heh! I know exactly what you are saying.

I was one of the unfortunate ones who got HUGE with pregnancies. Gained close to 70 pounds with each of my kids (which thankfully I took off shortly after giving birth). People who knew me before I was pregnant, and knew I never really had a weight problem, seemed to relish in the fact that I was now so big. I still carry a grudge against one of my dear friends, who at my shower told me I looked exactly like Baby Huey (which I did, but I sure as heck didn't need to hear it!!)

 

[Kallison]

I had three in four years. When I announced at #2's first birthday that I was pregnant with #3 - well you could have heard a pin drop. One of my friends asked me if I was crazy - she then called back and apologized. I try to never make inappropriate comments. I don't think people mean to be cruel, just aren't thinking. Now your Mom should know better. Maybe preface it with, no comments please on what you are about to hear.