I just don't understand.....

[Cool-Beans]

We didn't have WDW kind of money when the kids were little. I'd have probably taken them.

But, knowing what I know now, I wouldn't want to take a three year old to WDW. What a pain in the butt.

I think it is absolutely fine for people who want to take little ones to do so...but I don't think there is anything wrong with waiting until they're older, or going without them.

 

[Missy1961]

I understand it. Everyone wants a different type of vacation. I don't like it when people judge my choices, I won't judge theirs.

 

[DisneyfeverTN]

I guess it is different strokes for different folks. We would never go to WDW without the kids. It just wouldn't be as fun. We enjoy watching them have fun. Our youngest is now 11. Before we know it, he will be in college. We'll have the rest of our lives to go to WDW without the kids. We only have a handful of times to do it while they are growing up. I want to create as many memories as possible with our children.

I can understand how babies and toddlers might be too much for some people though. We waited until our DS was almost 5 before we went. I think it takes patience and planning to go with small children. Some people just might not be up to it.

 

[auntpolly]

There are people who wouldn't go without the kids and people who would.

What is hard for me to understand is people deciding that what they think everyone should think - not saying the OP is doing this - I just never get these - "who could go to WDW without their kids?" threads. The answer is - plenty of nice, normal people!

 

[N&B'smom]

I don't get it either.

DH was just offered from his company 2 nights and a dinner to three different area hotels or 3 days off paid as a bonus for a competition. We have never taken a vacation without DS, we decided together that he would take the 3 days and we would do something as a family. He is going to grow and be gone before we know it. I do not understand people who don't want their children except when it is convenient, don't get me wrong I think spending time without children is fine when kept to a minimum, but when people are taking every vacation and dropping the kids off at Grandmas or any other person who will watch them all the time, is ridiculous.

Not sure how long you have been married but I've been married for almost 12 years. I can say without a doubt one of the most important things you can do for yourself, your marriage and your children is to spend some alone time with your spouse. It leads to a very healthy marriage. It shows your child/children that you value your relationship with your spouse.

We take our kids on vacations, mostly Disney. We go to Disney with them every year. We have another type of trip we're planning for next year or the year after (Beaches Turks and Caicos). BUT that being said, we also go on trips WITHOUT our children. (not to Disney though) It is vital to our relationship that my husband and I get to spend a good block of time alone. He owns his own business so he works CONSTANTLY, 7 days a week. It's important to his health and the health of our relationship to be able to get away together. Normally we go on two trips a year, one with the kids and one without. And yes, we drop them off at their grandparent's house where they LOVE to be.

Keep in mind, what you feel is right for you may not be right for everyone else. So when you say you think being away from your kids is fine as long as it's kept to a minimum (not sure what you mean by that), that may be acceptable to you, but not necessarily the right fit for everyone else.

Shelby

 

[KirstenB]

We've been married 17 yrs and have 2 dd's one is 8 and one is 16 mths. We've taken the younger one to WDW twice, and our older dd has been several times. I can't picture going to WDW without them. OP, I do think it's odd.

On the other hand, if the parents were going to Jamaica, Vegas, etc that makes sense. Our older dd and I went to WDW by ourselves one time, and I found myself turning around to tell dh everytime I saw something cute. I was so sad when I remembered he wasn't there. It'd be the same with the kids. For us, WDW means a family vacation.

 

[DVCLiz]

I don't get it either.

DH was just offered from his company 2 nights and a dinner to three different area hotels or 3 days off paid as a bonus for a competition. We have never taken a vacation without DS, we decided together that he would take the 3 days and we would do something as a family. He is going to grow and be gone before we know it. I do not understand people who don't want their children except when it is convenient, don't get me wrong I think spending time without children is fine when kept to a minimum, but when people are taking every vacation and dropping the kids off at Grandmas or any other person who will watch them all the time, is ridiculous.

For someone who is not one of the DIS's "perfect parents," you certainly seem to have made a decision for every single other parent who might ever go on a vacation. What gives you the right to decide "the minimum" amount of time a parent is allowed to spend time without children? And what is that minimum, by the way? If parents don't want to take children on vacations and choose instead to leave them with grandparents or others, what right do you have to decide that that is "ridiculous?"

I think it's none of my business how or where families vacation, and who comes along. I'm glad you have figured it out for the rest of us, though.

 

[sha_lyn]

What I don't get are the people that say the kids need to remember the trip.

I just don't get it..why?

What is wrong with just having fun in the moment? They might not remember, but mommy and daddy would!

I don't get it either. I guess those people just leave the kiddo in the crib till they are old enough to remember anything

 

[auntpolly]

Just a bit of advice from an old bird that's been married for 25 years - take it for what it's worth -- I've known women that thought they shouldn't do stuff like this without the kids - and lots of times the husbands were just getting kind of strong armed into going along with it - they would have loved a little time alone with the wife, but the wife "knew what was best for the family." They'd say "we" feel this way, but everyone knew the husband was just pretty whipped!

 

[BeccaGrace]

One of the best things about these boards is seeing how and why people do things differently. What works for some is totally foreign to others--doesn't make it right or wrong, just different.

DH and I both agree that if we are going somewhere then it is with the kids; we enjoy our time with them and have alone time when they are asleep. I would love an adult trip to Disney to do the things we couldn't do with the kids in tow but I could never do it when they are this young--I would miss them too much and want to see their reactions to things. We went when they were 3 and 4 and it was the most memorable and magical family vacation we ever had--everything was so real to them and it meant more to us seeing it through a child's eyes.

But just because I feel that way doesn't mean I can fault someone else who decides to let the kids have time with their grandparents and go for an adult-only trip. Those who listed their personal reasons for doing things differently have raised valid points and it serves no purpose to judge which approach is better.

 

[Allison]

Just this week a man in my area was killed in a freak accident at his work while clearing show. He was in his early 40's. His wife is now a widow. People who think they will have time for their spouse after their kids are grown need to remember we will can't control all aspects of our lives and you have no way to know if you will have that opportunity or not. Sometimes people aren't lucky enough to still have that spouse there when they are ready to take a vacation alone with them. Anyway, this kind of thing makes me stop and think.

But, everyone should do what makes them happy. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. There is no right or wrong.

Kudos to those who don't want to take a vacation without their kids and kudos to those who do go without them. Noone should be judging others for either decision.

 

[BeccaGrace]

Just this week a man in my area was killed in a freak accident at his work while clearing show. He was in his early 40's. His wife is now a widow. People who think they will have time for their spouse after their kids are grown need to remember we will can't control all aspects of our lives and you have no way to know if you will have that opportunity or not. Sometimes people aren't lucky enough to still have that spouse there when they are ready to take a vacation alone with them. Anyway, this kind of thing makes me stop and think.

I agree with you but wanted to add that this scenario also makes me think of the time the children lost with their father...it fits all situations in reminding us that we need to make the most of each moment.

 

[Brier Rose]

Just this week a man in my area was killed in a freak accident at his work while clearing show. He was in his early 40's. His wife is now a widow. People who think they will have time for their spouse after their kids are grown need to remember we will can't control all aspects of our lives and you have no way to know if you will have that opportunity or not. Sometimes people aren't lucky enough to still have that spouse there when they are ready to take a vacation alone with them. Anyway, this kind of thing makes me stop and think.

Agree, but that works both ways. What about the family who always puts trips with their kids off becuase they're too young, and then something happens to the child? I've seen that happen too.

I think the obvious thing here is that the key is balance.

I took the OP to mean that she couldn't understand why they weren't taking the kids with them to DW because they already do all these other vactions alone.

 

[Planogirl]

I've taken DS almost every year since he was 1 and I've enjoyed every trip. I won't claim that he's perfect by any means but I knew and respected his limits and we had a great time.

But then I do agree that it's up to each parent and depends a lot on the child. I personally think that 4 is a great age for WDW (and for US travel in general) but that's just been my experience.

 

[TeresaNJ]

I can see why you don't understand, but I can also see why they don't want to bring the kids. Number one, three and four is still pretty young, and number two, they aren't going specifically to Walt Disney World but to Orlando. If getting away frequently by themselves helps make them better parents then I'm all for it. Maybe they have stressors that you don't know about, and they need the break every now and then.

That being said, if they continue to go away without the kids all the time as the kids get older, then that would puzzle me and seem a little unfair, and in my opinion I would think they weren't very family oriented.

We took my sons to WDW for the first time when they were 4 & 5, and it was a wonderful trip. My daughter went for the first time when she was 4 and the boys were then 9 & 10, another great trip. I actually never went to Disney without the kids until my daughter was 13, and I didn't know what I was missing, LOL. Now that they are 21, 26 & 27 we go without them all the time, although the 26 yo tends to pout a little when we do, but they still get to go plenty, believe me!

 

[sha_lyn]

Agree, but that works both ways. What about the family who always puts trips with their kids off becuase they're too young, and then something happens to the child? I've seen that happen too.

I think the obvious thing here is that the key is balance.

I took the OP to mean that she couldn't understand why they weren't taking the kids with them to DW because they already do all these other vactions alone.

Or even in the situation that Allison posted. I would worry more about what my chidren were missing out on by losing a parent, than I would be about myself not spending enough 1 on 1 time with DH.

Then again I am lucky that I have family very close by. The kids have always spend time at my moms, aunts, grandmothers (well DD never did get to at either of my grandmothers). It's easy for DH and I to get a childfree weekend if we want/need it.

I've mentioned my cousin before. When her kids were very young, she and her DH would often go to Biloxi or softball tournaments etc without the kids. She and her DH worked 50-60+ hrs a week each. IMHO it seemed they put quality time with each other above quality time with the kids.

 

[rie'smom]

My brother flew out to meet us at WDW with his 2 kids:son5 and daughter 3. He said that he wished he had waited until his daughter was 5.
At one time I would never have considered going to Orlando w/out my kids and won't until DD leaves for college. However,now that we own DVC,I'm looking forward to the day that DH and I can go to WDW by ourselves.

 

[VSL]

Eh, each to their own. Everyone's idea of the 'perfect age' is different. What's 'perfect' for one child/family could be a disaster for another.

As long as everyone involved is happy and they're good parents I really don't see a problem with it.

 

[autumnbaby9]

I not one of the parents that feel the child has to be a certain age before they go to Disney. I took my DD5 to DL when she was 2 and WDW when she was 4.

However i feel there is nothing wrong with people wanting to go to Disney without there kids. Disney can be just as much fun for adults as it is for children. I just went to DL for 5 days without DD5 and had a great time. I only had to worry about myself and it gave me time to relax (something I feel every parent needs). It's not like I'm choosing to go to Disney by myself everytime and never taking DD.

 

[DisneyfeverTN]

Just this week a man in my area was killed in a freak accident at his work while clearing show. He was in his early 40's. His wife is now a widow. People who think they will have time for their spouse after their kids are grown need to remember we will can't control all aspects of our lives and you have no way to know if you will have that opportunity or not. Sometimes people aren't lucky enough to still have that spouse there when they are ready to take a vacation alone with them. Anyway, this kind of thing makes me stop and think.

You can also say the same thing for parents with children that have died.
Someday children will move out. That is a fact. You will probably have less time to do things with your children than you will with your spouse. Just another perspective on what you said.