I hate my Best Friends Wedding Dress...

[Jennasis]

When women ask for opinions about their weddings they are looking for affirmation, not an actual opinion.

THIS.


Why don't people understand this. My sister is getting married this summer and is going through the dress thing now. It's her second wedding and she wants a simple low-key beachy type affair. She has found several dresses she likes. They are VERY simple, some even plain cotton jersey sun dresses from Victoria Secret. My mo has been an unholy wee-otch about them all.

"They a re not weddingy enough"

"They're too plain"

"Nobody wears that at a wedding"

(and my favorite) "Since you refuse to dress like a 'bride' people will assume it isn't a real wedding and will give you less money"...

each is an actual comment from my lunatic mom. My sister has called me in tears. Each time she sent me a link with photos of the dresses she wants (I'm 600 miles away) asking for my opinion, I pick the one I know she really wants and tell her that is my favorite but she'd look stunning in all of them.

She decided on a cheap $80 dress from some online Chinese bridal shop, in the end. I gushed over the picture like it was a Versace or Vera Wang creation. That is what sisters/friends/family DO.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Whew! Thank God you are still going to love and support her even if you hate her dress! I bet she feels relieved.
I have never heard anything more ridiculous in my life. What if she doesn't like your clothes? Should she tell you or maybe refuse to be friends because of it? Heck maybe she didn't like YOUR wedding dress. With friends like that who needs enemies?

 

[minkydog]

I went dress shopping with her a few weekends ago and we went to a TON of bridal boutiques. She had 2 dresses that were on her "short list". She loved them both. In my opinion, (and her mom's opinion and sister's opinion) 1 dress was far superior than the other one. The dress I loved was elegant and form fitting and had the most incredible detailing (She has a very slender model-esque figure- Lucky duck!) which llooked like it was MADE to fit her. The other dress was just a simple run of the mill wedding dress (Ball gown, square neck- no detailing.. just plain white.)... While the 2nd dress looked good on her as well, there just wasn't as much of a wow factor as the 1st dress.

Well she went and bought the not so fabulous dress on Saturday (Dress #2). I am trying to be happy for her! I just hope she knows that I still love her and support her no matter what even though I think her dress is ugly...

Guess you can be glad she's not buying YOUR wedding dress. Everybody has a different idea about what there dress should look like. You can think what you like, but at the end of the day the only opinion that matters is HERS.

 

[fairestoneofall]

her wedding. her dress. hold your tongue.

i will admit that my wedding dress was very simple. it was not my mom's favorite. it was not my sister's favorite. but they kept their mouths shut. i knew it wasn't their favorite. i honestly didn't care. it was MY favorite and that's what mattered.

and you know what. now that it's almost 13 years later, they will both admit that my dress was very "me." another thing...my dress could be worn today and not look out of style.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

For real???

 

[PixieTopaz]

I went dress shopping with her a few weekends ago and we went to a TON of bridal boutiques. She had 2 dresses that were on her "short list". She loved them both. In my opinion, (and her mom's opinion and sister's opinion) 1 dress was far superior than the other one. The dress I loved was elegant and form fitting and had the most incredible detailing (She has a very slender model-esque figure- Lucky duck!) which llooked like it was MADE to fit her.

The other dress was just a simple run of the mill wedding dress (Ball gown, square neck- no detailing.. just plain white.)... While the 2nd dress looked good on her as well, there just wasn't as much of a wow factor as the 1st dress.

Well she went and bought the not so fabulous dress on Saturday (Dress #2). I am trying to be happy for her! I just hope she knows that I still love her and support her no matter what even though I think her dress is ugly...

So she looked good in both and picked the one SHE wanted.

Dont say anything-its her day, her decision.

 

[pajamommy]

My niece, who is also my best friend, got married last year, and I was her maid of honor, so I went with her to help her pick out a dress. She got a lovely dress, it was very pretty.....but I think there were others that were more beautiful on her. I was diplomatic with her.....as long as the dress wasn't hideous, and she loved it and felt comfortable, then I was happy for her. She looked beautiful on her wedding day, even though I liked other dresses more. As long as she and her hubby loved the dress, that is all that matters.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

To be sure that I understand, the OP loves her best friend, but comes onto a message board with like a million members and publicly proclaims that she hates her wedding dress?

Wow! I just don't understand women...

 

[dislaney]

Please don't ever tell her. Hopefully your just venting here.

 

[SydSim]

A fiance is sooo different than a dress. A dress is worn once and isn't going to cheat on you or treat you badly.

Your talking about a guy that your friend is marrying. If you know something about someone your friend is marrying, then a friend would say something. Whether your friend listens to you is a different story. But at least you said something. There are tactful ways to say things.

I am glad that your friend is happily remarried.

Didn't know anything in particular about him, just didn't like stuff that she would tell me about him (and my dog didn't like him either)

Yup, there are tactful ways to say things, but even some people (especially us women) take offense. I'm pretty sure that my reservations about him wouldn't have stopped the wedding, so since it was going to be the same outcome for the marriage, I chose to retain the friendship (since she'd need me during the divorce)

 

[focusondisney]

To be sure that I understand, the OP loves her best friend, but comes onto a message board with like a million members and publicly proclaims that she hates her wedding dress?

Wow! I just don't understand women...

Ok! You've got it. Except you forgot to add that OP will still "support" her friend EVEN THO she doesn't like the dress!

I think you DO understand us!!!

 

[luvmy3]

To be sure that I understand, the OP loves her best friend, but comes onto a message board with like a million members and publicly proclaims that she hates her wedding dress?

Wow! I just don't understand women...

And on another message board there is a bride to be complaining that her friend wore the most hideous outfit when they went out dress shopping, but that she hopes her friend understand she will love and support her no matter how bad she looks in her clothes

 

[Robinrs]

To be sure that I understand, the OP loves her best friend, but comes onto a message board with like a million members and publicly proclaims that she hates her wedding dress?

Wow! I just don't understand women...

Generalize much????

 

[Mickey's Minion]

To be sure that I understand, the OP loves her best friend, but comes onto a message board with like a million members and publicly proclaims that she hates her wedding dress?

Wow! I just don't understand women...

Please don't define women by this scenario. Maybe adolescent girls, but not grown up women. And,come to think of it, even most of the adolescent girls I know aren't this shallow. This is a scene directly out of the Mean Girls movie.

Most grown ups don't base friendships on whether or not they get their way with their friend's wardrobe.

Most grownup women will be happy for their friend and her wedding just because they are best friends.

 

[Robinrs]

Please don't define women by this scenario. Maybe adolescent girls, but not grown up women. And,come to think of it, even most of the adolescent girls I know aren't this shallow. This is a scene directly out of the Mean Girls movie.

Most grown ups don't base friendships on whether or not they get their way with their friend's wardrobe.

Most grownup women will be happy for their friend and her wedding just because they are best friends.

OMG, WISDOM!!! Boldly lacking on the DIS!!

Thanks!!

 

[Arielle22]

OP, when you were shopping with her did you tell her your thoughts on the dress then? If so, she heard what you (and possibly others) said about the 2 dresses and still picked #2.

I have 4 sisters and we all went dress shopping together each time (I wore our mom's dress). When we were in the shop, we each expressed our true opinions. However the bride still picked the one she liked the best. Life went on and we all still love each other.

I can see not liking the dress but saying you hope she knows you still love her makes me wonder what how vehemently you tried to get her to change her mind.

 

[SydSim]

I went dress shopping with her a few weekends ago and we went to a TON of bridal boutiques. She had 2 dresses that were on her "short list". She loved them both. In my opinion, (and her mom's opinion and sister's opinion) 1 dress was far superior than the other one. The dress I loved was elegant and form fitting and had the most incredible detailing (She has a very slender model-esque figure- Lucky duck!) which llooked like it was MADE to fit her. The other dress was just a simple run of the mill wedding dress (Ball gown, square neck- no detailing.. just plain white.)... While the 2nd dress looked good on her as well, there just wasn't as much of a wow factor as the 1st dress.

Well she went and bought the not so fabulous dress on Saturday (Dress #2). I am trying to be happy for her! I just hope she knows that I still love her and support her no matter what even though I think her dress is ugly...

OP, I totally understand what you're saying. This is how I interpreted your post - you went dress shopping with friend, they asked your opinion on the dresses, you replied that you liked one dress over the other. Friend chose the other and you hope that even though she now knows that you gave your opinion that you didn't prefer that dress, that she doesn't keep the thought in the back of her mind "BadRomance hates this dress. I hope she won't make any comments about this dress, even tho I know she doesn't like it that much. Should I take her with me when I shop for shoes and bridesmaids gowns?"

I certainly didn't think that you expected her to pick the gown that you liked. You were just concerned that she might feel bad because she picked the gown that you didn't like. Having watched Say Yes To The Dress many times, I am all to aware that brides take what their family and friends say about their dress selection to heart. When asked, it's hard to say "it's beautiful", when it may not be in your eyes. Of course, i've always felt that if you didn't want to know, then don't ask me If you ask, well, I'm gonna tell you how I feel. I will try to be tactful, but brides (and new moms) are very sensitive and anything can set them off

Just wanted you to know that I don't think for one minute that you think that your friend's wedding day is all about you.

 

[tinatark]

The title of this thread sounds like a WE/HGTV/TLC show idea to me!

 

[Robinrs]

The title of this thread sounds like a WE/HGTV/TLC show idea to me!

Take HGTV out and add Bravo and I smell a reality show!!

I HATE MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING DRESS! tonight at 8 on WE/BRAVO/TLC!!​

 

[surfergirl602]

Her wedding, her choice of dress. Keep your opinion to yourself.