I had to "spank" my 8 year old DS today...it felt weird

[septbride2002]

Who knew you would be an advocate for spanking!!!

LOL! What is that suppose to mean?

~Amanda

 

[MELSMICE]

Spanking is not okay in any situation! You are actually teaching him that it's okay to treat the kitten like that too!

I agree with you, kimmbagley. You did to your son what you are asking him not to do to the kitten. This sends the wrong message, IMO.

I think a harsher punishment than the previous ones would be a better way to handle it.

 

[septbride2002]

I agree with you, kimmbagley. You did to your son what you are asking him not to do to the kitten. This sends the wrong message, IMO.

I think a harsher punishment than the previous ones would be a better way to handle it.

Then what should she have done?

Again the OP has repeatedly explained and given other punishments to her son to stop him from hurting the kitten. None of this seem to be working. Sometimes you need to get through to them that you are not playing around and there will be consequences for his actions. Since she is not a mother who uses spanking routinely her using this form of punishment probably made a bigger impact with her son.

~Amanda

 

[Charade]

I think a harsher punishment than the previous ones would be a better way to handle it.

Like what?

8 years old is old enough to understand that mistreating animals (or people) is unacceptable. If other punishments do not succeed, what next? Get rid of the cat? Get rid of your baby sister?

 

[Charade]

Since she is not a mother who uses spanking routinely her using this form of punishment probably made a bigger impact with her son.

~Amanda

 

[luvwinnie]

I just have to chime in here because I'm concerned about this kitten and the child's behavior. Have you asked him WHY he treats the animal this way? He is old enough to understand PAIN I'm sure, so I'm concerned about WHY he's doing this. Is he an otherwise compassionate kid?

 

[jrydberg]

Spanking is appropriate punishment at times.

My rules:

never when angry
never harder than I would just playing around
never with anything but my hand
not unless I've exhausted a number of other options

Fortunately, haven't had to in several years.

 

[Southern4sure]

What I do not understand is how anyone can compare a "spanking" to abuse. There are those that do abuse and they need to be behind bars. But a spanking, esp if a child rarely needs it is ok. Any child is going to push buttons and see how far he/she will get. As a parent, you have to be ready for anything. I think the OP did the right thing. This was no walk up to the child and slap, hit or severely punish her child without explaining to the child why. The child had been warned before and keep pushing so the OP had to use a stiffer alternative. The child now knows if he continues to mistreat this cat, to expect stiffer punishments. OP, do not fret. You did the right thing. I have a 9 yr old and a 15 yr old. I havent spanked my kids in a really long time, esp the oldest. But they do know they are not to old for one.
This comment is not reflected to all who do not spank, but from my experience. I have friends who do not spank. Their kids are the meanest, rudest kids. They scream and whine continuously. They totally disrespect their parents, the kids talk back and call them names. Their "punishment" is being sent to their room which has everything, tv, vcr, gaming systems, phone and such. How can that be a punishment?

Southern4sure

PS: I have my flame gear on!...

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

Spanking is appropriate punishment at times.

My rules:

never when angry
never harder than I would just playing around
never with anything but my hand
not unless I've exhausted a number of other options

Those are the guidelines I use too. Spanking doesn't work with my dd anyway. She think it's funny (maybe I'm just too weak? lol). Timeouts work so much better with her. Go figure.

 

[wdwmom2]

What I do not understand is how anyone can compare a "spanking" to abuse. There are those that do abuse and they need to be behind bars. But a spanking, esp if a child rarely needs it is ok. Any child is going to push buttons and see how far he/she will get. As a parent, you have to be ready for anything. I think the OP did the right thing. This was no walk up to the child and slap, hit or severely punish her child without explaining to the child why. The child had been warned before and keep pushing so the OP had to use a stiffer alternative. The child now knows if he continues to mistreat this cat, to expect stiffer punishments. OP, do not fret. You did the right thing. I have a 9 yr old and a 15 yr old. I havent spanked my kids in a really long time, esp the oldest. But they do know they are not to old for one.
This comment is not reflected to all who do not spank, but from my experience. I have friends who do not spank. Their kids are the meanest, rudest kids. They scream and whine continuously. They totally disrespect their parents, the kids talk back and call them names. Their "punishment" is being sent to their room which has everything, tv, vcr, gaming systems, phone and such. How can that be a punishment?

Southern4sure

PS: I have my flame gear on!...

ITA!!!

 

[auntpolly]

I have friends who do not spank. Their kids are the meanest, rudest kids. They scream and whine continuously.

Southern4sure

PS: I have my flame gear on!...

C'mon - you're picking a fight with that statement; right?

That statement couldn't be more false or inflammatory! I think I should have let PopDaddy turn this into a "spanking dirty old men" thread after all.

To the OP - you know your own kid. If you felt weird about it, as someone else said, you might want to think of something else for next time (because all kids have a "next time"). But you were there and we weren't and you sound like a good mom who does the best she can!

 

[skiwee1]

I agree with you, kimmbagley. You did to your son what you are asking him not to do to the kitten. This sends the wrong message, IMO.

I think a harsher punishment than the previous ones would be a better way to handle it.

Yes, like wacking the kid upside the head!

 

[Southern4sure]

C'mon - you're picking a fight with that statement; right?

That statement couldn't be more false or inflammatory! I think I should have let PopDaddy turn this into a "spanking dirty old men" thread after all.


Aunt Polly like I said in my post. My comment did not apply to all who do not spank, but from my experience with my personal friends who do not spank, I stand behind what I said about their kids. You can turn around anything I say to make a debate and I will not debate you.

Cheers,
Southern4sure

 

[MsLeFever]

Like what?

8 years old is old enough to understand that mistreating animals (or people) is unacceptable. If other punishments do not succeed, what next? Get rid of the cat? Get rid of your baby sister?

Dont' know about the sister but it may be time to find a safer place for the kitten - and if the boy really likes the cat that might be the right punishment.

If he doesn't like the cat - then another home is best for Miss Kitty.

 

[SpecialK]

Is your DS the youngest in your family? Here's why I ask. When I was 9 my sister brought home a kitten. I loved that kitten but, I'm ashamed to admit, I was not always as nice to him as I should have been. It wasn't a concious choice. I realized as I got older that I was actually jealous - I thought the cat was stealing attention that should have been mine. Could your son be feeling something similar? If so, no amount of punishment will address that.

 

[Tuffcookie]

Spanking is appropriate punishment at times.

ITA! I think that the fact that the OP felt bad about having to spank, indicates she does not resort to this as punishment on a regular basis.

Sometimes, when you've given enough warnings you have to move it up a notch!

I also think I would make sure the kitten is not left alone with her DS until he proves he knows how to handle it.

TC

 

[JennyMominRI]

Gonna take the other side here..And First to the Op,,I don't think you are a bad parent or anything because you spanked.. It just seems sort of silly to try and teach a child not to be physically violent to a cat ,by being physically violent to the child...It's about as silly as hitting a kid,for hitting someone else..(yes ,spanking is hitting)
I did this myself... My son hit my daughter and I responded by spanking him.. Hitting for hitting..It was pretty dumb
I haven't spanked any of my kids in more than 8 years.I just decided that it wasn't the way I wanted to handle things

 

[elan]

swilphil I agree with you. If the OP felt weird about this than another approach might of been needed. (grounding, take away TV or playstation - not just for a little bit but for a week or more.)


Make sure the child understands the consequences have to do with his behavior not the kittens, otherwise he may get angry at the kitten. I would keep the child away from the kitten until he can handle the situation.

 

[Lynn CC]

We have NEVER spanked/hit my DS and he's 17. I can't think of any instance where I think a child's behavior can't be resolved by a "good old fashioned talking to", it may take several attempts but it will be resolved. I just don't think it's right to resolve to swatting, or whatever you want to call it.

I feel especially now that your son is 8 years old that you should be able to resolve this behavior with the cat by converstations with your son.
Maybe he is jealous about all the attention the cat gets, it could be that simple. If it were me I would give the cat away before I hit my son.
I don't think your a "bad" parent or that you don't love your DS or anything like that, but you did say you felt weird spanking him. JMHO

 

[JennyMominRI]

I have the saddest kitten story.. A former friend of mine got a kitten..She had a 3 yo and an 11 yo..The 3 YO dragged this cat around the house. When the kittne ran away or didn't want to come near him he would grab it and spank it because this was exactly what his mother did to him when he behaved in ways she didn't like. He kept putting the cat in the box the kitty litter came in.. It was one of those big tubs that seals up. She then spanked the 3 YO for putting it in the box.
A couple days later the kitten was gone.. No one found it until 3 days later..He had sealed it up in the kitty litter box and it died.
I think the biggest fault that the mother holds is that she didn't properly supervise the child with the cat.
She went out and got another kitten the next week