I had to "spank" my 8 year old DS today...it felt weird

[Pooh Girl 71]

I really don't want people to jump on her back. It seemed like they were just waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it doesn't have to! Not every difference of opinion needs to be a fight!

Very true but you know how it can get around here.

 

[auntpolly]

Whoa!!!! What's the number????

LOL, maybe some other time.

 

[auntpolly]

Very true but you know how it can get around here.

Yeah - sigh - I do. I've been on the bad end of that one a few times.

This one has a happy ending - cat's safe - no harm done.

 

[poohandwendy]

No debate from me, I think the OP did what she felt she needed to do, and as the parent of the child involved...I respect her right to determine the appropriate punishment for harming their pet.

 

[gepetto]

Hippichick doesn't like hearing about animals. Or at least that was her latest rant on another thread.


You did the right thing. Hopefully your child will be kinder to the cat in the future.

 

[yourtravelpro]

You tried to turn this into some dirty old man needing to be spanked thread!

Hey..don't call Pop Daddy old!

 

[disykat]

I've threatened my kids with the "you're too old to spank, but you're not acting your age" thing before. Maybe he'll realize he is too old for that kind of misbehavior.

 

[MScott1851]

I've threatened my kids with the "you're too old to spank, but you're not acting your age" thing before. Maybe he'll realize he is too old for that kind of misbehavior.

Ha ha ha! I don't know. My mom would probably still beat my butt sometimes if she could fit me over her lap. And I would probably deserve it...

One night DH and I were at my parents and she and I were arguing about something and Clint went and got the flyswat and brought it to her, trying to get her to whip me.

 

[wdwmom2]

If it were me, I would have spanked also. I was spanked as a child, and looking back, I deserved it. Both my DD's have been spanked at one time or another. Now that they are older, they get privileges taken from them. At their age, it is much more effective than spanking.

 

[swilphil]

Since you felt weird about, I will offer some other suggestions. Take away something very valuable to him if it happens again--video game, playing outside, television, etc. Talk to him in advance about what will happen the next time he does that.

 

[kimmbagley]

Spanking is not okay in any situation! You are actually teaching him that it's okay to treat the kitten like that too!

 

[parrothead365]

My Dad who was an elementary principal for 20 or so years once told me that with some kids you can talk and reason all day long but when you cannot get through to the top half you got to go through the bottom half to make your point. We spank in our family but only if the circumstances call for it. In your case I stand firmly behind you. You did the right thing.

 

[FayeW]

My son, also 8, occasionally mistreats our pets without intending to. (I think he thinks they are just big, fluffy action figures!) The dog bit him a few times when he hurt her, and then I punished him, not the dog ( she is a nine month old Westie, and this was when she was really young, 4-5 mths.) I told him that's what he gets for hurting her, and that he deserved it. I also told him that if he didn't cut it out, I would give her to a family that would treat her with respect, so she would be safe. He loves the dog ( and cat) dearly and he is more careful when he plays with them now. I am pretty sure I took him over my knee the last time, so he knew I was serious.

 

[robinb]

I think what you did was fine. It may have been especially effective since you don't usually spank and I'm sure that you shocked the heck out of him. You will want to follow up with him on appropriate ways to hold and pet the cat. Also, don't allow him to alone with the cat until you feel you can trust him with her.

I caught my (then 4 year old) DD swinging our kitten around by her front paws about 2 weeks after the kitten came home to us. We cracked down on that behavior right away, but in many ways it was too late. The kitten was physically OK, but she gives my DD a very wide berth to this day. The cat, now 1.5 old, is friendly to me but still a little skittish. I have been working on having my DD just pet her a little and feed her yummy treats, but she still wants to hug and kiss her which is generally too much affection for the cat who then runs away. It's very hard for my impulsive DD to just pet the cat .

 

[swanmom]

I can certainly understand your frustration with your son AND I know there are times when kids need a little 'wake-up-call' AND I do not think it's my place to judge how people raise their kids..........That said, here comes the 'but' ..........
it seems like what actually resulted from this is that - you hit your DS in order to teach him not to hit or mistreat the cat. Not sure that this is the message you intended to communicate. Maybe this could be followed up with some chore that requires him to care for the cat properly like feeding the cat, brushing the cat, etc. That might reinforce the caring message you want to get across.

 

[septbride2002]

I would have spanked him too! You've done everything you were suppose to do - you talked to him about it and have tried other punishments - none of that sunk in so you spanked him. Sometimes it takes that to get the message through.

~Amanda

 

[septbride2002]

Spanking is not okay in any situation! You are actually teaching him that it's okay to treat the kitten like that too!

I have to respectfully disagree. She stated that she had caught him before, explained why it was wrong and gave other punishments. Yet her son continued to mistreet the kitten. It is not like she spanked her son after the first and only offense. Not to mention her son is HURTING the kitten - maybe the spanking will make him think twice before hurting another living thing. I also doubt the OP is the type of Mom who spanked her child and didn't explain why she delivered that punishment. Spanking a child and walking away may teach it is okay to hit. Spanking and then reaffirming why that was the chosen punishment and that she doesn't like doing it - is a teaching.

~Amanda

 

[Charade]

Spanking is not okay in any situation! You are actually teaching him that it's okay to treat the kitten like that too!

I disagree. The kitten didn't do anything to deserve the (repeated) mistreatment. Maybe junior will think twice before doing it again.

 

[vettechick99]

I also don't think it's something you should worry about. Like you said, it never happened before and you were just at your wit's end.

For me, I rarely got spanked, but when I did, I paid attention! Never again did I do whatever it was that got me smacked!

Some years ago I heard a very well-respected psychologist say that corporal punishment was not the best way to encourage good behavior, but every once in a while, you just need to get your point across. They used the example of a child running into the street and not looking both ways. I think yours is a prime example as well.

Another poster used the word "shocking" and I think it says it all. It's not like you beat them to a pulp...you seem like a loving parent!

 

[Charade]

I have to respectfully disagree. She stated that she had caught him before, explained why it was wrong and gave other punishments. Yet her son continued to mistreet the kitten. It is not like she spanked her son after the first and only offense. Not to mention her son is HURTING the kitten - maybe the spanking will make him think twice before hurting another living thing. I also doubt the OP is the type of Mom who spanked her child and didn't explain why she delivered that punishment. Spanking a child and walking away may teach it is okay to hit. Spanking and then reaffirming why that was the chosen punishment and that she doesn't like doing it - is a teaching.

~Amanda

Who knew you would be an advocate for spanking!!!