I feel like I am back in high school

[Tink888]

Yep, it's typical and I've found it to be the worst when you get involved with the kids activities.....PTO, sports, etc. It doesn't get any better as the kids get older either.

Gossipy, judgmental, cliquey (sp). Always makes me laugh to myself because here are all these adults supposedly raising their kids not to be that way, yeah right, and then you see the way they act and hear some of the things they say and you're just like WOW!!!!

I try to be civil to everyone and keep my business to myself.

 

[mefordis]

Most women don't grow up. They just get meaner!

So true! My dh's grandma is 93 and she refused to go on a trip her assisted living center coordinated because some other woman was going who she "doesn't like". OMG! Even at 93 you can't just let things go???

 

[hegsag]

How discouraging!!! I thought this behavior was long behind me. I worked in the corporate world for many years before becoming a sahm & never had an issue. To think I thought I was living a nice, simple life being a sahm...

 

[DSNLvR]

I see adult bullies at the kids school, sports, and here on the Dis!

 

[MerMom60_94]

Yep, it's typical and I've found it to be the worst when you get involved with the kids activities.....PTO, sports, etc. It doesn't get any better as the kids get older either.
Gossipy, judgmental, cliquey (sp). Always makes me laugh to myself because here are all these adults supposedly raising their kids not to be that way, yeah right, and then you see the way they act and hear some of the things they say and you're just like WOW!!!!

I try to be civil to everyone and keep my business to myself.

I think it gets worse as the kids get older! When DD was young most of the mothers could get along at least on a basic level. Yes, there was cliquiness to some degree, but mostly the mothers were nice to one another. Once in a while we would get several mothers together and go out to dinner or for dessert. Anyone was welcome to join us. As the kids got older and they started reaching puberty at various ages, you should have heard the backstabbing and cattiness that went on. For example, one friend's daughter showed an interest in boys in the fifth grade and was ahead of the curve from everyone else's daughter. She was the talk of the hens and no matter what her mother did she was handling it all wrong. When DD was in junior high there was a rumor that one of the boys had gotten one of the girls pregnant. Now, if this were my 13 year old daughter who were subjected to such a rumor it would be upsetting enough, but then one of the mothers I know felt the need to pass along an email to several of the other mothers to share "the news" (which, of course, turned out to be false). I was appalled and it was about this time that I decided to pull away and put my distance between myself and a lot of the people I had formed relationships with through the school. If you think they are cliquey and gossippy now, wait until they have something to really gossip and critique about. It gets vicious!!

Like Tink888, I stay cordial and friendly but keep my distance at this point.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Isn't this thread exactly what the OP is talking about? Here people are talking about others.
Of course there are cliques, gossips, bullies etc. That is just life and it is not exclusive to women. Men can be just as bad. I personally try to be nice to everyone and if you like me then great, if not then oh well. Not everyone is going to be your friend. Sometimes it really stinks and makes you feel badly but you move on and find another friend.

Oh- and I am on the PTA and I am neither cliquey or gossipy. Sometimes people miscontrue friends as being a clique when they are simply good friends.

 

[castleview]

I meant to add to my other post to not let any of these people stop you from being involved in your child's school or life. You can always help out and do not need approval from any crazy mom's.

I make it a point to help out, but only so much. I can't do anything about people who probably think I'm cliquey - I do think many moms have inferiority complexes and are waiting to feel excluded.

At sporting events, I'm distracted watching my other kids so I don't have to try and fit in and hang out with certain moms. Fortunately, DD's travel soccer team has fantastic mom's who are not toxic at all. But boy, if she ever goes premier I'll be arranging to do the grocery shopping during practice!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I meant to add to my other post to not let any of these people stop you from being involved in your child's school or life. You can always help out and do not need approval from any crazy mom's.
I make it a point to help out, but only so much. I can't do anything about people who probably think I'm cliquey - I do think many moms have inferiority complexes and are waiting to feel excluded.

At sporting events, I'm distracted watching my other kids so I don't have to try and fit in and hang out with certain moms. Fortunately, DD's travel soccer team has fantastic mom's who are not toxic at all. But boy, if she ever goes premier I'll be arranging to do the grocery shopping during practice!

That is exactly what I told myself when I came home from my first PTA meeting. I felt like an outsider. It was my own issue though. I didn't know anyone and I have a bit of anxiety. I didn't know if I was going to come back. Then I told myself that I will not let anyone ruin my involvement in my children's schooling. I always wanted to be a part of this. So, I went back and guess what? Now I have friends there. Sure, there are some that probably don't like me but that's okay. There are people I don't like either.