wishuponastarforever
<font color=deeppink>I just love coming here and v
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2004
- Messages
- 1,136
Spiders, roaches and wasps - OH MY
My mother lives in the country (rural) outside of Myrtle Beach. She is spending a few weeks in Philadelphia visiting relatives.
DH and I thought it would be a good time to surprise my Mom by painting and fixing up a few things for her.
My assignment was to paint the front porch furniture and the banister, railing and trim around the porch. I was also assigned painting the area near and around the front door.
Preparation began - I had to remove the multiple wasp nests. I used the spray and run as fast as you can method. This worked without a sting. Next the spider webs had to be eliminated. I found a broom with a long handle. This was a success. As I was beginning to move the furniture to place down drop clothes, I disturbed a HUGE palmetto bug. For those of you in Texas, this is a wood roach. For those of you who don't know what I am talking about, I envy your innocence. A palmetto bug is a HUGE outside roach that sort of resembles a monster truck. You know the kind that sits on top of the gigantic tires. The roaches have tall legs - probably so they can run fast. Problem is they usually run towards you rather than away. All in all an encounter is a horrific experience. I went into immediate bug meltdown. DH came running to see what was wrong. That's when he made a serious mistake. He actually said "it's only a roach". Those are words that should not be used in the same sentence EVER. I became completely irrational. I crossed over to the point of no return. DH has not seen me this irrational since the last time I was in labor. That was 21 years ago. He backed away slowly - keeping me in his sight until he was a safe distance away.
This called for a new stategy. I was a good soldier, I just needed DH to act as special forces. He went on the porch and secured the area, flushing out any remaining enemy before I would go back outside to paint.
Meantime, DH was preparing to fix the well. This well has not worked for 10 years. Even if it were to be fixed, I am pretty sure my Mom will never use it. I tried to convice DH not to get involved in this project. I just knew it would be one of those projects that he planned to take a few hours, and it would take all day. It didn't take me long to realize it wasn't about the well, it was about the CHALLENGE. I knew any logic would be a waste of time.
I put on my happy face and came out to paint. After all if I painted quickly, we may be able to have a little beach time.
I have to ask a question - Where does all the paint go? Why does it take so many coats????
As I was applying the third coat, I began to bargain with the furniture. I said things like "If you accept this next coat, I promise only people you like will sit down". I was desperate. I had visions of painting for the rest of my natural life. In between coats, I had the trim, railing, banister and around the door painted. Fortunately these needed only two coats.
I was thrilled - mission completed. I told DH I was finished. I could picture us on the way to the beach. DH did not miss a beat. He looked up from his well fixing and said "That's wonderful - you have time to trim around the back porch now.
I completed one coat, when DH announced he was finished fixing the well. He is so adorable. When I went around to ooh and ahh, he was calling (on his phone) everyone else who tried to talk him out of this project - he was making sure they could hear the pump motor running and the water as it gushed out. He was very proud of himself.
We could still go watch the sunset at the beach I thought.
I totally forgot about the time men require to stand around and marvel at their accomplishments. You know hands in pockets facing the completed task - mumbling things like "looks great" "I knew I could fix that" "wow just look at that." This ritual takes some time - I gave up the beach idea. After all DH was wonderful to take the time to help my Mother - I just love him.
That evening we sat outside for a while. Mosquitos love me. They leave DH alone. DH had purchased some repellant for me. I sprayed all over. It did not work - I spent the evening feeding mosquitos.
The next morning DH woke up and disappeared. I never heard him leave as my weary body was having a serious sleep in. I awoke at 930am and went searching. DH was outside with the decorative well cover in pieces. He was rebuilding it and then it needed to be painted. this was news to me. I thought only the well was being fixed - I did not know about the cover plan. He very proudly advised me he had geen outside of Lowes waiting for them to open at 6:50am. Groan - I can only imagine the thrill that must have been
He was in handy man heaven.
I went around to the back to paint the porch trim. I was just finishing the 17,000 coat when the little girl from next door came running over to tell me about the snake in her yard.
SNAKE 
Back inside I went to have a private snake meltdown. DH had to clean up.
When I recovered, I went back outside to join DH in the standing around thing and commenting how wonderful everything looked. He is really cute when he does this. I also discovered there is no such thing as too much praise. I praised for hours and DH was happy. Did I mention he is adorable?
That evening we sat outside again. This time I sprayed myself twice just to be sure. The mosquitos had their way with me again. This morning I discoverd the spray DH bought is to spray on clothing. It clearly states "do not apply to skin". Oh Well - too late for that.
Today - guess what??? We went to the beach - It was wonderful.
The ocean massaged all the aches and pains. DH started talking about new projects. I went under water and did not hear another word. In situations such as this, I believe in "ignorance is bliss". It worked - no more projects this visit. In fact, we're going back to the beach. We're going to watch the legal and not so legal fireworks. Yippee - life is good again.
Happy 4th of July to my dis friends.
My mother lives in the country (rural) outside of Myrtle Beach. She is spending a few weeks in Philadelphia visiting relatives.
DH and I thought it would be a good time to surprise my Mom by painting and fixing up a few things for her.
My assignment was to paint the front porch furniture and the banister, railing and trim around the porch. I was also assigned painting the area near and around the front door.
Preparation began - I had to remove the multiple wasp nests. I used the spray and run as fast as you can method. This worked without a sting. Next the spider webs had to be eliminated. I found a broom with a long handle. This was a success. As I was beginning to move the furniture to place down drop clothes, I disturbed a HUGE palmetto bug. For those of you in Texas, this is a wood roach. For those of you who don't know what I am talking about, I envy your innocence. A palmetto bug is a HUGE outside roach that sort of resembles a monster truck. You know the kind that sits on top of the gigantic tires. The roaches have tall legs - probably so they can run fast. Problem is they usually run towards you rather than away. All in all an encounter is a horrific experience. I went into immediate bug meltdown. DH came running to see what was wrong. That's when he made a serious mistake. He actually said "it's only a roach". Those are words that should not be used in the same sentence EVER. I became completely irrational. I crossed over to the point of no return. DH has not seen me this irrational since the last time I was in labor. That was 21 years ago. He backed away slowly - keeping me in his sight until he was a safe distance away.
This called for a new stategy. I was a good soldier, I just needed DH to act as special forces. He went on the porch and secured the area, flushing out any remaining enemy before I would go back outside to paint.
Meantime, DH was preparing to fix the well. This well has not worked for 10 years. Even if it were to be fixed, I am pretty sure my Mom will never use it. I tried to convice DH not to get involved in this project. I just knew it would be one of those projects that he planned to take a few hours, and it would take all day. It didn't take me long to realize it wasn't about the well, it was about the CHALLENGE. I knew any logic would be a waste of time.
I put on my happy face and came out to paint. After all if I painted quickly, we may be able to have a little beach time.
I have to ask a question - Where does all the paint go? Why does it take so many coats????
As I was applying the third coat, I began to bargain with the furniture. I said things like "If you accept this next coat, I promise only people you like will sit down". I was desperate. I had visions of painting for the rest of my natural life. In between coats, I had the trim, railing, banister and around the door painted. Fortunately these needed only two coats.
I was thrilled - mission completed. I told DH I was finished. I could picture us on the way to the beach. DH did not miss a beat. He looked up from his well fixing and said "That's wonderful - you have time to trim around the back porch now.
I completed one coat, when DH announced he was finished fixing the well. He is so adorable. When I went around to ooh and ahh, he was calling (on his phone) everyone else who tried to talk him out of this project - he was making sure they could hear the pump motor running and the water as it gushed out. He was very proud of himself.
We could still go watch the sunset at the beach I thought.
I totally forgot about the time men require to stand around and marvel at their accomplishments. You know hands in pockets facing the completed task - mumbling things like "looks great" "I knew I could fix that" "wow just look at that." This ritual takes some time - I gave up the beach idea. After all DH was wonderful to take the time to help my Mother - I just love him.
That evening we sat outside for a while. Mosquitos love me. They leave DH alone. DH had purchased some repellant for me. I sprayed all over. It did not work - I spent the evening feeding mosquitos.
The next morning DH woke up and disappeared. I never heard him leave as my weary body was having a serious sleep in. I awoke at 930am and went searching. DH was outside with the decorative well cover in pieces. He was rebuilding it and then it needed to be painted. this was news to me. I thought only the well was being fixed - I did not know about the cover plan. He very proudly advised me he had geen outside of Lowes waiting for them to open at 6:50am. Groan - I can only imagine the thrill that must have been
He was in handy man heaven. I went around to the back to paint the porch trim. I was just finishing the 17,000 coat when the little girl from next door came running over to tell me about the snake in her yard.
SNAKE
Back inside I went to have a private snake meltdown. DH had to clean up.
When I recovered, I went back outside to join DH in the standing around thing and commenting how wonderful everything looked. He is really cute when he does this. I also discovered there is no such thing as too much praise. I praised for hours and DH was happy. Did I mention he is adorable?
That evening we sat outside again. This time I sprayed myself twice just to be sure. The mosquitos had their way with me again. This morning I discoverd the spray DH bought is to spray on clothing. It clearly states "do not apply to skin". Oh Well - too late for that.
Today - guess what??? We went to the beach - It was wonderful.
The ocean massaged all the aches and pains. DH started talking about new projects. I went under water and did not hear another word. In situations such as this, I believe in "ignorance is bliss". It worked - no more projects this visit. In fact, we're going back to the beach. We're going to watch the legal and not so legal fireworks. Yippee - life is good again.
Happy 4th of July to my dis friends.
