I dont think I'm going to make it...

[TinkerPixie]

Everything is going so horribly wrong......

Hospice has given my Mom about a week, and I have been spending every spare moment by her side. but tomorrow I have to go back to work. we cant afford any more time off.
ON the 21st, DH's father goes in for major surgery for an anuerism....he just had quadruple bypass surgery about 3 weeks ago.

Just today, I found out we are going to have to cancel our Disney trip...DH's truck gave out, and we have to use the trip money as a down payment on a new truck.....


I am so tired of fighting, so tired of keeping a smile on my face, and just ready to give up. It feels like there's no hope anymore.

 

[debster812]

{{{hugs}}} I am so sorry.

Please take good care of yourself. You can't hold it together for everyone else, if you are not up to snuff.

Please come here and scream yell and cry for us. We're here, and it won't be too loud .

Hope you have a restful evening.

Debbie

 

[snowball22]

Stay strong!! Don't give up. I am sorry things are tough right now. My father used to tell me whenever I was having a bad day to not give up, that tomorrow is another day and it might turn out to be the best day of your life. You will get through this. Lots of Pixie Dust is being sent your way!!

 

[DopeyRN]

I am sorry everything is falling down on you at once. Prayers for your mom, your FIL and esp for you. {{{Hugs}}}

 

[browneyes]

{{hugs}}, Susan. I'm sorry you're going through so much right now.

**pd** and prayers for you and your family.

 

[Lars624]

{{{{{hugs}}}}}
I am so sorry that you have to hande these things at all, let alone all of them at once.
If you need to vent...we're here....if you need a shoulder...we're here....always ready to offer support.
I wish there was something more that I could do to help.
more {{{{{hugs}}}}}

 

[RitaZ.]

{{hugs}} to you. I totally sympathize, I have been where you are right now. Just lean on those around you for support and help.

Take care of yourself and stay strong.

 

[Disney845]

I am very sorry to hear that things are not going well for you at the moment. Any words of encouragement I could think to give would just seem trite. Maybe I could just tell you about something that has been on my mind the last few days. A local radio station that I really enjoy had a 36 hour request-a-thon that happened that just finished up this afternoon. It was for the Make A Wish foundation. It was the 6th annual one that this station has held. The "request" part was that if you made a pledge then you could request any song from any genre, even ones they normally do not play on this top 40ish type of station. They were trying to beat last year's 18 wishes. They set a goal of 22 wishes. Well they far exceeded anyones expectations and were able to grant 41 wishes to terminally ill children, and raised a total of over $226,729.68! A large amount of these children wanted to go to Disney World. They had some of the wish children on air, and some children who had already gotten their wishes granted. I just about teared up at every story. It is so humbling to hear a 5 year old who is so brave, fighting a debilitating disease that not only causes pain but whose treatments just cause more pain, talking about how much fun he had riding the Buzz Light Year ride 4 times in a row (Disney is so great with Wish kids, allowing them special privledges, and taking care of all their needs). Often it takes seeing people in far worse situations than yours to come to terms with what is bad about your own life. One pledging woman, who was a pediatric ICU nurse, was talking to one of the wish kids (a 15 year old girl, who on her own raised $1700 to help benefit other wish kids). This nurse said something to the affect that these kids and their families are given what they can handle (even thought it sometimes doesn't seem like it) but they sometimes need a break from handling it, so they can realize how special they are. (I am probably misquoting her terribly, but it really stuck with me). They also played the song "Angles Among Us" which was so fitting for some of these incredibly brave little people! I am not sure what, if anything, you will get out of my post, but as I sit here now thinking about it, I am again crying. Times like these make you really want to tell all the brave people in your life how very special they are to you.

 

[helenabear]

Susan I just wanted to give you a big {{{HUG}}} to you. I am sure that everything feels so terribly hopeless right now, but I am sure you are strong enough to get through it all. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom and family.

 

[Dan Murphy]

A day at a time, TinkerPixie, that is all you can do, or anyone cand ask or expect. Tough at times for sure. But not more than we can handle. {{Hugs}} and continued prayers for all your family. And as said, please stop by as often as you like to share, vent, rail a bit. It does help. Doesn't it? I think I can tell by the look in your eyes right now, TP. {{Hugs}}

Very nice , 845.

 

[WillyJ]

TinkerPixe,

I know how you feel, and I've been where you are. . . sometimes life becomes so hard, so sad, and so full of loss it feels unbearable. . and I did a very selfish and stupid thing, and thank God I survived it. .

You are in an awful situation, and have every right to feel that life isn't worth living right now. . but find a way to endure. Get through this, and I promise the day will come when you wake up and everything is okay again.

{{{{Hugs}}}} and God bless you. . and please feel free to PM me if you need to to talk. .

Willy

 

[nativetxn]

{{{HUGS}}} tinkerpixie. Sweetie I know things seem bleak right now. I don't have any words of wisdom for you, just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Remember that we are always here if you need to talk and that we really do care.

One more thing...trips to WDW are never cancelled, only <b>postponed</b>...you will make that trip at a different time.

I wish I was there to sit with you and hug you in person.

Katholyn

 

[ripleysmom]

Chin up kid!!

 

[EROS]

PEACE be with you and your family. LIFE is sooooooooo often so unfair . I gave up trying to see any divine plan many years ago. Rest assured that the love which you've shown towards your mother and FIL is as important as any medical assistance which they've received. I just wish that Love could "conquer all", but we sadly know that it can't.

My thoughts are with you,

 

[TinkerPixie]

You guys are great...... thankz!

I'm trying to hang in there......

 

[dizneenut]

I'm so sorry. Prayers and PD on the way for you. {{{hugs}}}

 

[catsrule]

i'm so sorry, susan. maybe your vacation is just postponed. your mom has a great daughter in you. please don't give up, hold that chin up high, you are worth everything.

 

[Tony-NJ]

I've been in that situation, only with both parents, in different Hospitals / Hospice. It's tough. I know. Cry, talk to a friend or 2. Talk to us. One night when I was in the Hospice sitting by my Dad, I decided to give a good friend of mine a call and see if she wanted to grab a bite to eat. We met at a local rest and had dinner and evena few laughs. I thought HOW IN THE WORLD COULD I LAUGH when I have my Father in the Hospice and my Mother in ICU in another hospital in another city! I learned that it was OK to laugh because we were talking about all the good time's we've had. It didn't make the hurt go away, but it made me feel a bit better. Prayers for your Mom, FIL and you!

 

[snoopy]

I'm so very sorry, Susan.

I have been thinking of you since you first told us about your mother, and you remain in my prayers.

 

[Mamu]

TinkerPixie with sadness I've read your post. I can only offer {{{HUG}}} and to tell you to hang in there. We have all been there, sometimes we seem to be handed much more then we can handle. Be strong, and take it a day at a time. Try and find yourself a few minutes to sit and relax. This is so important. I've had to cancel many a trip. There will be another trip, think about how wonderful that next trip will be.

Just a little story. Seven years ago we were planning a spring vacation with my 6-year old grandson. Two days after Thanksgiving my DH was it a terrible auto accident. He was in the trama center for 10 days, they did not expect him to survive. He is a strong person and proved them all wrong. We canceled the spring vacation, but I started planning one for the next spring not knowing whether or not we would be able to go. If he would be able to make this trip or whether we could afford it, we had no income for 6 months and lived off our savings. The following spring we did get to go. I can only say it's was a trip that will live on in my memory as one of the best vacations we ever took.

There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to be strong enough to make it there. Lots of Pixie Dust to help you get there.

Special prayers for your Mom.