I can't honestly believe this...

[omghidanielle]

We decided this year that, instead of having Christmas at my Aunt's house, we'd have it at my house. This comes as a relief to just about everyone, seeing as my Aunt is currently going through chemotherapy, and everyone else isn't very happy about going to her house because it's pretty uncomfortable. She sets all of the food up on her dining room table (that seats 8), but refuses to let anyone sit at the table. She asks that we eat in the living room, in front of the TV (that has football on...so you're not allowed to talk...but only my Uncle is watching), but when you have 10 people over for Christmas, and only have 3 tray tables, 1 couch and a recliner, it leaves a lot of us sitting on the floor, eating off of our laps and batting off their dog in complete silence, or being "shushed" for talking. (Oh, and did I mention that she refuses to use regular plates? Yes, we've been eating turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy off of paper plates off of our laps) This is a win-win situation. I get to be comfortable. Yes, I will have to do a lot of work, but we all get to be comfortable.

So, I've been pretty siked on having Christmas this year, I washed all of my dishes that I got for my wedding that I have yet to use, and bought a card table to add on to my dining room table so that everyone has a place AND we set up Rock Band in the living room for some guaranteed entertainment!

But we've hit a problem that I'm pretty insulted by. My Uncle (the aforementioned Aunt's brother, the shusher) decided that he'd "rather go to work" on Christmas because we won't be having any alcohol.

We have some leftover beer and liquor from my husband's birthday party in August and our Wedding in Sept of 2008 (yes, it's that old) that I guess we can put out just for him, but I can guarantee that he won't like it. He's a Budweiser man, and we have Sam Adams Summer Lager (out of season!) and Dale's Pale Ale (I have no idea where this came from). I'm honestly wondering if I should even bother putting that out there, tell him that we're absolutely not having it, and see what happens?

grumble grumble

Anyone been in this situation before? What do you think I should do?


Backstory, in case anyone was wondering, my Mother and I recently decided to cut booze from holidays because *SURPRISE* my Dad, and his entire family, are alcoholics. But they will tell you otherwise. When they walked into Thanksgiving with a brown bag full of beer and wine, I asked if we could put it back in their trunk, and this was the look I got in response

 

[jaminmd]

We decided this year that, instead of having Christmas at my Aunt's house, we'd have it at my house. This comes as a relief to just about everyone, seeing as my Aunt is currently going through chemotherapy, and everyone else isn't very happy about going to her house because it's pretty uncomfortable. She sets all of the food up on her dining room table (that seats 8), but refuses to let anyone sit at the table. She asks that we eat in the living room, in front of the TV (that has football on...so you're not allowed to talk...but only my Uncle is watching), but when you have 10 people over for Christmas, and only have 3 tray tables, 1 couch and a recliner, it leaves a lot of us sitting on the floor, eating off of our laps and batting off their dog in complete silence, or being "shushed" for talking. (Oh, and did I mention that she refuses to use regular plates? Yes, we've been eating turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy off of paper plates off of our laps) This is a win-win situation. I get to be comfortable. Yes, I will have to do a lot of work, but we all get to be comfortable.

So, I've been pretty siked on having Christmas this year, I washed all of my dishes that I got for my wedding that I have yet to use, and bought a card table to add on to my dining room table so that everyone has a place AND we set up Rock Band in the living room for some guaranteed entertainment!

But we've hit a problem that I'm pretty insulted by. My Uncle (the aforementioned Aunt's brother, the shusher) decided that he'd "rather go to work" on Christmas because we won't be having any alcohol.

We have some leftover beer and liquor from my husband's birthday party in August and our Wedding in Sept of 2008 (yes, it's that old) that I guess we can put out just for him, but I can guarantee that he won't like it. He's a Budweiser man, and we have Sam Adams Summer Lager (out of season!) and Dale's Pale Ale (I have no idea where this came from). I'm honestly wondering if I should even bother putting that out there, tell him that we're absolutely not having it, and see what happens?

grumble grumble

Anyone been in this situation before? What do you think I should do?


Backstory, in case anyone was wondering, my Mother and I recently decided to cut booze from holidays because *SURPRISE* my Dad, and his entire family, are alcoholics. But they will tell you otherwise. When they walked into Thanksgiving with a brown bag full of beer and wine, I asked if we could put it back in their trunk, and this was the look I got in response

I'd tell him to enjoy his day at work. Your house, your rules.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

If he really wants some beer so much why can't he just buy it?

 

[lemondog]

I'd tell him to enjoy his day at work. Your house, your rules.

Ditto. No way should you bring out alcohol just for his benefit. If he's going to act juvenile about it, then let him stay away. This one's a no-brainer.

 

[disykat]

I agree - your house, your rules. He can choose not to come.

I'm with you, but I bet you anything you'll have lots of responses saying it wouldn't be a holiday without alcohol and they would choose not to come also. There are a lot of people on the DIS who won't attend weddings that don't have alcohol, so I'm sure there will be even more who feel that way about holidays.

 

[momof1princess]

i agree with lemondog. tell him to have a nice day at work and enjoy your holiday with your ADULT relatives. perhaps he'll decide to put on his big boy pants and join y'all. if not, it's his loss.

 

[omghidanielle]

See, this is what I think, but when I talk about it, people make me think I'm being a lunatic about it! I get a lot of the 'What's the big deal?!?' or 'Why don't you just do it, so he doesn't make a big mess out of it' - which I can see happening.

Ugh. Tis the season?

Thanks for the support

 

[Acklander]

Can't he just bring his own??? Or is he from the side of the family that is alcoholic??? (I'm confused). If he's just drinking it as a beverage and not using it to get drunk and annoying, I'd probably just pick up a 6 pack for the dinner but I tend to be the type to "cater" to the guests wants and needs whenever hosting something - and people drinking doesn't bother me. If you makes you that uncomfortable just tell him sorry he won't be there, and leave it at that.
But either way, I wouldn't serve the beer from last summer, doesn't it go bad???

 

[pyrxtc]

I don't see the problem. His item to bring to the party can be the beer he drinks. Maybe he really wants to stay home and watch the game since your TV will be otherwise occupied. It's not that much to buy a 6 pack and have it there. My family are big drinkers too and I wouldn't make them not drink just cuz they are at my house. My DH and I don't really drink but our friends that do are coming over for New years and we will buy beer for them to drink while we drink soda's and juices or water.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I just need to say that if someone had Christmas or Thanksgiving and their rule was SSSHHHHHHuSSHH for the Football, I would be in total heaven!




I hate going to someone's house and they have football on and everyone talks so you can't enjoy the game.

But on another note, your house = your rules. You don't have to serve alcohol if you don't want to.

Also, the beer you have is probably stale anyway, so if you get in a pinch, serve him the bad beer and maybe he'll get the hint.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

We decided this year that, instead of having Christmas at my Aunt's house, we'd have it at my house. This comes as a relief to just about everyone, seeing as my Aunt is currently going through chemotherapy, and everyone else isn't very happy about going to her house because it's pretty uncomfortable. She sets all of the food up on her dining room table (that seats 8), but refuses to let anyone sit at the table. She asks that we eat in the living room, in front of the TV (that has football on...so you're not allowed to talk...but only my Uncle is watching), but when you have 10 people over for Christmas, and only have 3 tray tables, 1 couch and a recliner, it leaves a lot of us sitting on the floor, eating off of our laps and batting off their dog in complete silence, or being "shushed" for talking. (Oh, and did I mention that she refuses to use regular plates? Yes, we've been eating turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy off of paper plates off of our laps) This is a win-win situation. I get to be comfortable. Yes, I will have to do a lot of work, but we all get to be comfortable.

So, I've been pretty siked on having Christmas this year, I washed all of my dishes that I got for my wedding that I have yet to use, and bought a card table to add on to my dining room table so that everyone has a place AND we set up Rock Band in the living room for some guaranteed entertainment!

But we've hit a problem that I'm pretty insulted by. My Uncle (the aforementioned Aunt's brother, the shusher) decided that he'd "rather go to work" on Christmas because we won't be having any alcohol.

We have some leftover beer and liquor from my husband's birthday party in August and our Wedding in Sept of 2008 (yes, it's that old) that I guess we can put out just for him, but I can guarantee that he won't like it. He's a Budweiser man, and we have Sam Adams Summer Lager (out of season!) and Dale's Pale Ale (I have no idea where this came from). I'm honestly wondering if I should even bother putting that out there, tell him that we're absolutely not having it, and see what happens?

grumble grumble

Anyone been in this situation before? What do you think I should do?


Backstory, in case anyone was wondering, my Mother and I recently decided to cut booze from holidays because *SURPRISE* my Dad, and his entire family, are alcoholics. But they will tell you otherwise. When they walked into Thanksgiving with a brown bag fut the look I got in response

Your house, your rules.

You get to decide whether or not to serve alcohol.

BUT...you also cannot be miffed if somebody doesn't want to come due to your decision.

It is your right to make the decisions of how you want to entertain, but it is also the guest's right to decide whether that is how they want to celebrate their holiday.

If they prefer to go to work, just wish them a Merry Christmas and enjoy your guests that do come.

That said, if you do decide to put out the beer, do not offer to serve yea.r and a half old beer. That would be in very poor taste, both in manners and the beer.

Either choose to not serve any at all, which is perfectly acceptable or if you do choose to serve it, go out and buy fresh beer, being a good hostess and picking up the brand that your guests prefer.

Whatever you do, don't serve 2 year old leftover crud.

 

[duckybelle]

My father is Italian, and I like wine with holiday meals. HOWEVER, if someone did not have it, or didn't allow it at their home, that's no problem with me! I believe spending time with my family is the most important thing. Your home, your rules!! Celebrate the holidays with the people that understand the TRUE meaning of them...family!!!

 

[Angelhalo]

I get where others are coming from with their responses, but personally I would just pick up a six pack of budweiser and skip all the drama.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Let him go to "work", is my vote. And maybe he does want to watch football. Nothing wrong with him staying home and watching the game.

He is invited and is declining. That is his perogative.

I would have declined going over to my aunts under the conditions you described.

And invitation is not a demand. You are going to have to work out the "kinks".

Bottom line.....forcing someone to come who does not want to never works out in the end, trust me.

 

[omghidanielle]

The point of not having it is because he and my dad get really obnoxious, act like children and pick fights with EVERYONE.

I'd rather him just bring his own. I don't doubt that he doesn't already have some ready to go. I'm not buying. Hopefully he keeps to himself and doesn't try to pick a religious fight with my husband like last year.

It's probably best to just let him go, than let this snowball into a family nightmare.

 

[DVC-Don]

That beer has got to be awful being that old. Get rid of the beer and tell him sorry he can't make it.

 

[hegsag]

The point of not having it is because he and my dad get really obnoxious, act like children and pick fights with EVERYONE.

I'd rather him just bring his own. I don't doubt that he doesn't already have some ready to go. I'm not buying. Hopefully he keeps to himself and doesn't try to pick a religious fight with my husband like last year.

It's probably best to just let him go, than let this snowball into a family nightmare.

You houldn't have to buy him alcohol - if he wants it that badly, he can bring it himself! GL & enjoy your holiday w/o paperplates, lap eating and in silence....his lose if he doesn't come.

 

[DSNY4ever]

There are a lot of people on the DIS who won't attend weddings that don't have alcohol

Oh my god...I can't believe someone would skip a wedding over that, that is so rude!

Anyway, yeah I would just ignore it and move on. He should have said yes and just had a drink when he got home, let him go to work.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Oh my god...I can't believe someone would skip a wedding over that, that is so rude!

Anyway, yeah I would just ignore it and move on. He should have said yes and just had a drink when he got home, let him go to work.

Well, no. I wouldn't skip a wedding due to no alcohol, but I would think that the couple were VERY religious and not our family religion.

And then all of the non-drinkers would leave early and we'd all meet at a bar. (Our family doesn't get together often but we do expect alcohol. We're Italian.)

 

[minkydog]

But we've hit a problem that I'm pretty insulted by. My Uncle (the aforementioned Aunt's brother, the shusher) decided that he'd "rather go to work" on Christmas because we won't be having any alcohol.

We have some leftover beer and liquor from my husband's birthday party in August and our Wedding in Sept of 2008 (yes, it's that old) that I guess we can put out just for him, but I can guarantee that he won't like it. He's a Budweiser man, and we have Sam Adams Summer Lager (out of season!) and Dale's Pale Ale (I have no idea where this came from). I'm honestly wondering if I should even bother putting that out there, tell him that we're absolutely not having it, and see what happens?

grumble grumble

Anyone been in this situation before? What do you think I should do?


Backstory, in case anyone was wondering, my Mother and I recently decided to cut booze from holidays because *SURPRISE* my Dad, and his entire family, are alcoholics. But they will tell you otherwise. When they walked into Thanksgiving with a brown bag full of beer and wine, I asked if we could put it back in their trunk, and this was the look I got in response

Okay, so I don't get this. You decided not to have booze because your Dad and his entire family are alcoholics, but you're willing to break out the Samuel Adams for Uncle, even though he's a Bud kinda guy. Help me understand this: Are you or are you not serving alcohol?

Its okay to not serve alcohol. In light of the alcoholism I applaud you for doing it. IMO, alcohol does almost nothing to enhance family gatherings especially when there are people there who struggle with substance abuse. But it doesn't make sense to say you won't allow alcohol, unless it is a kind of alcohol that your guest doesn't like. What would happen if Uncle just decided to bring in a six pack of Bud? Would that be okay?

Personally, if Uncle doesn't want to come because there is no alcohol that's his choice. I don't see why you need to dance around to his tune. If he doesn't come you don't have to watch football. That's gotta be good for something.