I am so scared

[low-key]

I was always worried about that when I was a kid, but my dad assured me if I was kidnapped after a couple days the kidnappers would return me cause I eat to much

 

[phorsenuf]

Hi OP- love your screen name! Is there someone helping you take steps at living more independently? I have been talking to several people who help people live a more independent life, as my son is about turn 18 and he will be involved in such a program. If you are working with someone like this, I can assure you that they would not want you to take this step if they were not sure you were ready to, and more importantantly, that it was safe for you to do this! I am super impressed that you have a job, and you change buses to get there- like lovesmygoofy said, you are quite indepentent already! I am not sure my son would be able to do what you are doing.
Also, I am willing to bet that for at least a while, someone will be checking to see that you got to work ok even after you stop calling, but you just won't know . YOU CAN DO THIS!

She's married so I would assume she is out on her own (well, with her husband). If she was independent enough to get married, then I imagine there are many things she can and should be doing.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Both DH and I are disabled so my mom steps in quite frequently his family is useless. I have thought of posting on the disability board vrs here

 

[kwelch10377]

Both DH and I are disabled so my mom steps in quite frequently his family is useless. I have thought of posting on the disability board vrs here

May I ask what type of disability you have? I think that may be helpful in what people suggest to you.

I didn't see you reply to the question about who is telling you that you don't have to let you mom of DH know?

 

[low-key]

Both DH and I are disabled so my mom steps in quite frequently his family is useless. I have thought of posting on the disability board vrs here

awww, you could post here to, we all have a handicap in one way or another

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

May I ask what type of disability you have? I think that may be helpful in what people suggest to you.

I didn't see you reply to the question about who is telling you that you don't have to let you mom of DH know?

It was just suggested that I don't have 2 call all three family members being my aunt,DH and my mom

awww, you could post here to, we all have a handicap in one way or another

DH has asbergers (sP) and I have CP and both of our anxieties are though the roof

 

[phorsenuf]

it was just suggested that i don't have 2 call all three family members being my aunt,dh and my mom


dh has asbergers (sp) and i have cp and both of our anxieties are though the roof

cp?

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

It was just suggested that I don't have 2 call all three family members being my aunt,DH and my mom


DH has asbergers (sP) and I have CP and both of our anxieties are though the roof

I'm sorry you are going through this. I have a friend who has high anxiety issues, and though I cannot relate, I can certainly empathize. I hope you can get some help so you can handle your fears.

 

[kwelch10377]

It was just suggested that I don't have 2 call all three family members being my aunt,DH and my mom


DH has *** burgers (sP) and I have CP and both of our anxieties are though the roof

I would agree that you don't have to call all 3, I do think that is overkill. Maybe you could talk to them and see how they feel if maybe you just picked one of them that you could text and let them know. Then if you feel ok with that maybe cut it down to just every once and a while letting them know.

Cerebral palsy??

With regards to the anxiety, do you see anyone about it. A counsler maybe able to help with getting over some of your anxiety.

 

[lillygator]

I think you made the right choice...

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I would agree that you don't have to call all 3, I do think that is overkill. Maybe you could talk to them and see how they feel if maybe you just picked one of them that you could text and let them know. Then if you feel ok with that maybe cut it down to just every once and a while letting them know.

Cerebral palsy??

With regards to the anxiety, do you see anyone about it. A counsler maybe able to help with getting over some of your anxiety.

Yes and we are both in counseling

 

[Nancy for Disney]

Anxiety is rough. No words of wisdom. Glad you are getting counseling. I am sure your counselor can help you through your goal of being more independent.

 

[Lynne M]

I really admire you....you've made some really big steps towards independence. You've gotten married, gotten a job, and are taking public transportation to work, with a pretty complicated route. All of that would make anyone anxious, and you've got a lot going on that makes it even harder. It may feel scary to be doing all this, but look at all you've accomplished so far!

Independence isn't something that happens overnight, and getting there is scary for EVERYONE. As you keep making that commute, you'll get a little more confident every day. You'll get there...just do it at your own pace.

If you've been calling or texting three people to let them know you're at work, you could always cut it down to two. Maybe just your mom and your husband? And then, as you feel more confident, you could just call your husband. Take your time.

 

[Planogirl]

You are doing really well from what I'm reading. I don't see why you can't continue to call someone when you get to where you are going but maybe this suggestion is a part of your therapy? Maybe you could send a quick text? Do you text? I'm horrible at it.

 

[wvjules]

If her parents, DBF, or therapist, or work are telling her that she's at a point where she doens't need to call home then why is everyone here telling her to go against the advice of those that know her and are telling her it's time? We don't know her, or her situation. I assume that those that know and love the OP know its time for her to be more independent. Stop telling her to call anyway. That does her NO good!

 

[mickeysgal]

If her parents, DBF, or therapist, or work are telling her that she's at a point where she doens't need to call home then why is everyone here telling her to go against the advice of those that know her and are telling her it's time? We don't know her, or her situation. I assume that those that know and love the OP know its time for her to be more independent. Stop telling her to call anyway. That does her NO good!

THIS!!

I read this thread last night and kept thinking the same thing. It's possible the OP is trying to circumvent what she is instructed to do as part of her therapy.

OP - what I haven't read yet is WHO is telliing you not to call? This, to me, is key here. There has to be a reason they are suggesting this.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

I agree. I think your family members were politely telling you that you call too often and that you don't need to do it.

Try to follow their advice and see how it goes.

Good luck to you! Sounds like you already have a great foundation for your independence.

 

[dimimi]

Thanks for answering my question. I think it would be reasonable for you to only TEXT your DH to let him know you arrived at work.

Also, you should be proud that you are independent. You are married, get yourself to work...heck...have a job! You plan and take vacations! You are more independent than you think.

I think you could learn to cook. My son is 18 and going off to college. He doesn't "know how" to cook...but he can learn. Anyone can make simple meals. Try and work along side your husband or your mom and learn how to make a couple of meals.

Good luck!

 

[DebbieB]

My aunt has a friend who is a nurse and has a 30 year old daughter who works at Walmart. If the daughter & mom are both working late and the mom is not home, the daughter calls my aunt's house to let her know she will be calling when she gets home. Then she'll call when she gets home, even though it's the middle of the night. It's the same type of thing - she's afraid something will happen and no one will know.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

figured it out it is about more breathing space till 5