I am so mad at my DH I can hardly stand it! (long)

[jfulcer]

Um yeah Texas Hill Country, what is that all about?

I was just trying to point out that there are lots of things that you could do right in your area that don't require a lot of time and energy for planning.

What's with all the nastiness? I have a DH who works 2 jobs and frequently 7 days a week (and yes Vicki, he does). Forgive me if I try to keep some things a little private since he's in a job position that is somewhat public.

I frankly could care less what your DH's job(s) are. The tone of your post and follow ups, IMHO, were that you were pissed that your DH is going and doing 'all this stuff' while you have to stay home with the kids. Yes, you were looking for a little sympathy, but in a woe is me kind of manner.

I am trying to point out that YOU need to make time for YOURSELF or you begin to have increasing feelings of insignificance, which is exactly what you were implying in your post.

Like I said, I've made plans for TUESDAY. And frankly you don't know my life. It would be nearly impossible for him to clear a weekend for me to go away. I get pleanty of alone time to grocery shop and go to the dry cleaners, that isn't the issue.

Great! You're on the right track. I'm not saying that you need to plan this huge all out weekend outing for yourself. But what about a Saturday afternoon shopping trip to the craft store for YOURSELF. What about a Sunday night movie with some friends every once in a while. A trip to the grocery store to get groceries for the family is not alone time, it's doing something for the family time. A trip to the Dry Cleaners is not alone time, it's picking up the laundry time. Doesn't sound like really great RadioNate alone time to me. Doing stuff for the family...

And unfortunately, I DO know your life. Your life is exactly what my wife's life was like 2 years ago. She stayed home doing laundry, taking care of the kids, cleaning the house, etc... She never made time for herself, things that she wanted to do and she was depressed about it. I started to push her down the road of doing things for herself and now she's a pro at it. She goes out with her friends, she spends her time shopping, etc. But IMHO the best thing about her taking time for herself is I get some alone time with my kids, which I never got before because she was always around. We've got the best of both worlds now, IMHO.

I just wanted a little sympathy and a shoulder from some women who would understand.

Sorry, not a woman here, and not a shoulder to cry on. Just trying to get you take make more time for yourself (because nobody else can do it for you) - and a happier RadioNate.

 

[Nancyg56]

And it cracks me up when people think that it will only last 18 years!!!! Like, magically on their 18th birthday they will be poofed to some other planet and mom will get to travel the world with no more responsibilities!!

Same here! I have three adult children, and I swear that I am busier than when they were little. Now I know how my own Mom felt, (and still does)

I really think that the OP was voicing more than "I need some more "Me" time. I think that the day just frustrated her. Just the other day my DH left the registration renewal on top of the fridge, and then was mad at Motor vehicle because he could not register his new truck with the dealer because there was less than 1 week left before it expired. Now I was the one annoyed and inconvenienced because I had to go to Motor Vehicle, but he really did not understand why I was peeved. I crabbed to anyone who would listen to my sad tale. Well, I'm sure that he is annoyed with me, because we dropped my truck off for service, he asked me if I gave the guy the keys, of course I did. OhOh!!!!!!!! I left them in my purse, and now, yet again, he is at my mercy because he needs a ride home from work. New truck and all! He copes differently than I do, and is probably quieter.

My point is that some days I have less tolerance for little things that normally I would just wave off, or maybe have a little conversation about. Same for the OP, just a day that something rubbed her wrong, and she, like I, needed to complain to people who would understand.

 

[ahutton]

I totally understand your frustration, and have been there myself. The only difference, I work outside of the house.

I found, after many conversations and taking a look at our lives, that for me it was less about "me" time or adult time and more about being upset that DH would spend one of his few days off with someone other than us.

I know he has hobbies and interests, I do too. And we both do them. But after a long week of long hours and not having time to have fun with the family, I would be SUPER ticked that he made plans to do something with someone other than us!!!

It would have been so much better for him to come home and say "lets grab the kid(s) and go to..." and have some fun! Maybe you pack a family picnic to a local playground, maybe you head to one of the "big" area attractions (Sea World annual passes are a GREAT deal!) and goof around as a family.

We had a true tragedy close to our family recently, it made us look at how we want to spend our free time. We decided to spend it together, doing things that will build memories for our kids of what a great family we have. You never know what tomorrow will bring. Sure we have "alone" and "couple" time, too. That is important too. But not more important than spending time as a family - all together - especially after a week where you see your kids for only a few short hours, and some days not at all...