I am so lost

[alicia1506]

i lead a solitary life. i have family on the other side of town, but we don't interact very often. i have colleagues at work, but we don't hang out after work. the only friends i have currently are all online. i don't have many interests other than photography (which i got to indulge in on the trip) and travel (which we also did this last trip).

having returned from the trip, i find that i'm sullen, unhappy and generally dissatisfield with everyone & everything. i can't find much happiness in xmas or anything else at the moment, and i think it's due to the fact that my passion in life is really... travel. and planning of the travel. and saving for the travel. and all of the wonderous experiences, and reliving of the experiences, and the stories you tell. i'm reluctant to finish my TR because it means that trip is finally over and i have to return to life as i know it. boredom and solitude. carlo has his friends and his games and his social life. i have the dis and trip planning and my photos to keep me company. i find that i am ... lonely.

and so... after much discussion, tears and recriminations, i have decided to travel again. this time a solo trip to europe for me in september 2012, hopefully avoiding the whole shenanigans to do with the olympics, and carlo and i are planning a big disney bonanza in may/june 2013 with a trip to both disneyland and walt disney world, then back to wizarding world of harry potter, ideally to coincide with star wars weekend.

so now i feel like i have some of my mojo back, but i'm not quite there. i had planned to stay with a friend whilst on the london leg of the trip, someone i have known and adored since high school, but that might not pan out now, as he's ... changed. it was to be a fun filled, live it up adventure in europe and he was to show me the sights and recapture some of my mis-spent youth. now he may not be available and it will be a truly solo journey - which may be some kind of 'eat, love, pray' type self discovery for me, i'm not sure... but i need to figure out how to get my mojo back. i'm starting a diet on monday, very restrictive, in the hopes that a new approach to food and losing some weight will help me find some happiness in my life.

thank you, fellow DISers for letting me get this off my chest. maybe it's just post-travel blues. i don't know. but thank you for listening and letting me rant.

thank you for all of your support and help and willingness to support someone you've never met before. you are all truly wonderful.

 

[WAMUMOF4]

we have all been in your place on post holiday blues it is especially hard when you don't know when your traveling next i was really lucky this time and we booked again after only a month of being home. When you put your whole heart and sole into planning something that means so much to you i think it is totally normal to have a grieving process when it is over.
I to am having trouble getting into to Christmas i have not even started every time i look at something for the kids i think that money would be better spent on our next trip or it was so much cheaper in the USA
So know that you are not alone in your thinking.

 

[alicia1506]

i have heard tell of these post holiday blues previously but hadn't given them much credence. having spent the majority of my time for the last 12 months devoting every waking moment to the planning and research of our trip, i cannot believe just how empty my life seems without that focus and that desire ...

i have since decided that i am going to do a solo trip to europe in september 2012 but the whole visa/no visa thing is really quite different to the usa and i feel like the usa is our second home now and europe is just so... different.

any assistance anyone can give on the aussie travel to the uk for tourism purposes -- to visa or not to visa -- would be hugely helpful

i have a friend who insists that no planning is the best travel style over there, just wake up and go to paris or berlin or wherever the mood strikes ... but it seems to me that might be a recipe for disaster who knows?

i just can't seem to get interested in anything right now, and the idea of braving the crowds for xmas shopping or putting up the tree or doing anything much other than sleeping is just too much effort right now

thanks for understanding and the hugs. they were a huge help

 

[Sugarglider]

Hi Alicia1506. I don't know how old you are - and I wouldn't say I have my life worked out either. I spent 2011 focused on planning the trip I just did and, to be blunt, it was a diversion from more important life matters.
Now that the trip is over I have no more hiding from sorting out the more important issues of what kind of career do I want, what is my role in community service, how do I keep myself healthy etc etc.

Travel is a wonderful thing - I have done it many times myself over the years. But I also live with the nagging voice on my shoulder: is there something more productive I could be doing?

You will travel again - spend some of your time also planning on some other achievements.

Oh and BTW: I have found London to be a place where you can turn up unplanned. Unless there is a special event you want to attend.

 

[becpee]

Hi alicia, i'm also a travel planner/lover and know how hard the post travel blues can be.

It doesn't matter how young or old you are, they hit.

I have been where you are, my life isn't how I planned it to be, travel changes who you are and your priorities.

In my head I am always planning a trip, whether it be in the distant future or soon, there is always another in the works.

Plan a new trip, it doesn't matter how long it takes you to get there, everybody needs a passion, travel is yours.

I relate to alot of what you're saying, from the travel blues right down to the weight loss.
Make sure you're exercising as well, I have found walking for 30 minutes a day is great to clear your head as well as getting you moving.

 

[Aust]

I know how you feel, even with 3 kids and a husband and a job etc I don't feel quite right unless I'm actively planning the next trip or even just have a date in mind - at the moment I'm booked out (in my head at least) for about the next 10 years and every time my husband mentions spending money on this or that I'm reminding him we need to save for trips. Sometimes it can be a distraction from the boring old day-to-day stuff or it can be to avoid thinking about other stuff. And the problem is I find once I go somewhere I can't cross it off my list, I want to go there again! (especially Disneyland). As for weight loss, running gives me lots of time to think about trip planning so it's doing 2 things at once.

 

[australiankaren]

hey

yep, add me to the list of post holiday blues / Christmas blues/ life in general is good but could be better syndrome....

For me, I & the DH work long hours and don't have much of a social life except with those I am close to at work....gone are the carefree days of many groups of random friends...I now have a select few who I trust. I have a motto..."you can never go back"...which is so true regarding relationships. People change, its life...

Travel is an outlet, an escape from our day to day lives, the planing is like dreaming, it opens our minds to new and exciting possibilities...to adventures otherwise missed. Thats why WDW is so important to us in our stage of life, it is something we both enjoy, its fun and it takes us away from the 24/7 that is our lives....

This Christmas its just DH and myself, my family are either away or visiting other family, so we are getting together boxing day for a casual BBQ. Gone are the days of crazy timetables.....

Do today what you can, for you don't know what tomorrow will bring.

PS: maybe we should start a Xmas support group

 

[Travel Mum]

I too have the post holiday blues and it is the worst case that I have ever had. I know why though and it's because, whilst I do always put quite a lot into planning our trips, I had never spent so long planning a trip nor so much time researching it. It was 2 years worth and it became a major part of my life. There is so much to learn about a WDW trip and the information available is neverending. Also, because of the Australian Disboards, it became more than just trip planning and was also a sort of social outlet. To be honest, it is almost painful to come back on this forum as I really miss that part of my life a lot. It would be okay if we were planning another trip there sometime in the future but DH is right that we need to start saving money to spend on our house rather than travel and, even when we do travel again, I know I have to start doing some of DH's bucket list such as China, South America etc. So those holidays won't be nearly as fun to plan as a WDW one and there won't be a lovely little holiday planning community for them like we have here .

Gees, sorry Alicia, I haven't said anything to make you feel better have I?!

 

[alicia1506]

Travelmum, australian karen & everyone else who has posted - you guys have made my week. seriously, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

i have spent so much time on these forums, have enjoyed getting to know all of you (as much as one can on the forums) and now that i don't have the trip i was planning, with all the precision of a military incursion, in my day to day thoughts, it's really like a little part of me has died with the end of the trip.

so after much discussion, i have convinced carlo that we should go back to DLR and do all the bits we missed, as we're not getting any younger. i also convinced him we should recon WDW for our star wars weekend in 2013 as wdw is huge and it needs preparation... so i've convinced him. we're doing a combined halloween/christmas trip -- mnsshp & 4 nights at dlr, reconning wdw while doing a mini vacay there for 5 nights , then on to harry potter world & universal for 5 nights of luxury living, then back to dlr for the xmas parade & fireworks etc before flying back home.

then in 2013, end of may we'll fly out to ny and repeat our ny trip so i get to see some of it, and then do star wars weekend at wdw, then maybe a quick little jaunt through vegas on the way home.

i was trying to plan a europe trip, but it wasn't working for me. my heart wasn't in it. now that i know we're going back to disney, the world is starting to feel right again. as he put it, i have PTSD - post-trip stress disorder. lol. how true. and travelmum, by putting into words how you felt, you validated the exact same thing i'm feeling. at least i know i'm not alone in my post-trip blues

i think we are a support group in the best possible way, we're here for each other no matter what the circumstances, and that is always good.

and travelmum, i don't know about the others, but i would be willing to listen while you posted about you travel plans, dis or otherwise related

 

[alicia1506]

oh, and i'll be adding photos and finalising my trip report tonight. just fyi

 

[Travel Mum]

Thanks Alicia and I'm so happy for you that you have more Disney plans to work on

 

[battymum]

I typed a long reply to this thread last night but it got lost somewhere after hitting post.

But anyway, Alicia, I hear ya! I have been so lost without planning a trip, its the fact that the project has finished - I was so consumed with planning and anticipating our trip that when it suddenly ends you find yourself a bit lost. I imagine brides feel this way.

I am not ready to plan another trip, but I do need something to fill the void. I sit down each night and automatically pick up my lap top, but then have to think about what I want to look up - my facebook is just not that interesting. I have been back eight weeks or so and still check in here a couple of times a day.

As for travelling solo, I would love to do that - as much as I love my family and appreciate that time is limited with them, its just so damn expensive to travel with them - I cant wait to travel without an entourage or when they pay for themselves -maybe I can sneak off for a couple of weeks and they wont notice....(until the washing builds up)

 

[Caroline NZ]

Hi Alicia,
I am another who finds it hard not to be planning a trip in the short term. However we were at DL back in May, and the last few months have been easier (the first few after the tripare always the hardest). I'm now looking forwards to Xmas, and summer holidays here in NZ. We won't be back to the USA until Sep 2013, but I am feeling okay with that at the moment.

 

[alicia1506]

i keep going back and forth on this whole solo trip.

i really, really want to do it, but carlo and i have this big DLR/WDW/IOA trip planned for nov 2012, and if i do my solo trip, it's gonna have to be a shoestring-backpacking style to account for the funds we're gonna need for our DLR trip in nov. i'll also probably need to travel sometime around june/july/aug/sept just in terms of time i can get off work, but ... i really, really want to do it.

but then i think, no, i'd love to go with carlo & maybe in 2013/14? i don't know.

i'm so lost!!! someone, help me decide. if i can pull the financing, should i do a 2 week solo tour across london/paris/rome?

i have a friend who keeps daring me to go, but that seems like a pretty expensive dare help!!!

 

[battymum]

So youre looking at travelling in November as well as June/July/August - ish

Although that would be a great adventure, wouldnt it be better to put that cash into living it up more on your November trip - you know how budgets always blow out. I would wait and go in 2013 with Carlo - it doesnt cost that much more to travel as a couple and you will have post trip blues again after the November trip.

Let the post trip blues settle a bit before you make any rash decisions!


Thats my 2c anyway

 

[WAMUMOF4]

i second the put your money into your trip with Carlo and then save for a trip together to Europe or add Europe to the end of your DL/WDW 2012 trip together the flights are not much more to go over to Europe in the same trip.

 

[tapdancer]

I can honestly say it has taken me almost 3 months to beat the post trip blues. I was terrible when I first got home and even posted a thread about it. I was annoyed and upset at my husband for not letting me plan another holiday for the 5 of us in a couple of years time.

I think too that during the holiday I just assumed we would return one day and didn't see and do everything on offer - thought we would do it next time

I seemed to feel better then the photopass arrived, then couple of weeks later my holiday canvasses arrived which bought it all back.

I have now come to the conclusion that I should be happy I have been able to go to Disneyworld with my 3 children when most families never get that opportunity and will look back on the memories and the great fun and family time we had.

I don't think I could go back to WDW without my children - it will always be the place we went as a family.

We are now looking forward to spending some money on the house and maybe a new car in the next year or so, then maybe a 20th anniversary trip to New York for my DH and I.

Maybe if we win tattslotto it will be a family trip back to WDW - I can only dream

 

[australiankaren]

So youre looking at travelling in November as well as June/July/August - ish

Although that would be a great adventure, wouldnt it be better to put that cash into living it up more on your November trip - you know how budgets always blow out. I would wait and go in 2013 with Carlo - it doesnt cost that much more to travel as a couple and you will have post trip blues again after the November trip.

Let the post trip blues settle a bit before you make any rash decisions!

Thats my 2c anyway

so sorry, i thought that line said "let the post trip blues settle before a rash develops"...

i do think of this disney travel bug as an illness, so why shouldnt it give us a rash as well

my next few trips are :hawaii feb 2012, and wdw sept 2012 & then #1 son with family in tow want to do wdw [on ma and pa's dime of course ] in sept 2013.....still have to convince the DH, or should I say the CFO.And if #1 son gets a trip, then #2 son will want to come as well [bringing his GF]..so does anyone know how much you can get for a healthy kidney????As I'm sure I'll have to start selling off body parts to fund all this. Oh and they wont want to stay at pop, oh no, its BLT or Poly for these little princes

so much planning in the pipes.....although I'm not so excited re hawaii as the other wdw trips, the hawaii one is more for the DH than me...as I HATE sand.

 

[BecBennett]

But anyway, Alicia, I hear ya! I have been so lost without planning a trip, its the fact that the project has finished - I was so consumed with planning and anticipating our trip that when it suddenly ends you find yourself a bit lost. I imagine brides feel this way.

Absolutely!

Just a suggestion - have you considered writing a blog? Not just a TR, but you're own blog. That way when you're not travelling you can be doing reviews and giving tips to other people who are planning. It's a great way to combine your passion for both travel and photography when you don't have much on the horizon.

There are heaps of us here who have our own blogs for this sort of reason - mine is http://becstravel.blogspot.com

I'd love to be a professional travel writer, and this let's me pretend

 

[alicia1506]

Karen - i hear ya -- it HATE sand too. it gets everywhere. and it's basically just dirt

Bec - the idea of doing a blog does interest me, but not sure of how to get started & whether i'd have any readership. at least here on the DIS, someone is always listening

I find myself inspired by photography in a way that very little else inspires me. we haven't yet been blessed with kids, and i truly hope that we are in the next few years as we're getting older and realising that darn clock is tick, tick, ticking away.

i think we're gonna do this trip in november, but i feel so terrible at the moment. my grandma is being entered into respite care and taking care of her (she suffers from alzheimers) is taking such a toll on my mum & dad. my brother and sis-in-law are about to move house and they have baby boy #1 on the way, and we're talking about spending all this money to flit off to DLR again. i feel like i should be giving this money to mum & dad, or helping out my brother, or doing something more productive with the money... maybe making mum & dad go on holiday..

but as carlo says...we've worked hard and scrimped and saved for this. this is our priority -- travelling to DLR and WDW. we chose to put this money towards this, rather than investing in real estate or whatever else...

i just feel... bad for the others in my family that aren't getting to experience the wonder of disney.