Monday, October 22nd - ESPN Club ... I Miss the Good Old Days of Tuna and Beer.
We've reached the 7th day of our vacation and it's still ungodly hot and Jay's still got a schizophrenic digestive system. By this point I let him call the shots, figuring that he knew best what he could,
pardon the pun, stomach doing.
Since Monday was a morning EMH at the Animal Kingdom we decided, once Jay's tummy accepted some coffee and croissants, that we would brave the sultry African heat of central Florida and visit the animals. We lucked out and made it to Expedition Everest with minimal wait time - we just love this ride. It's so much fun! But whooooooo-eeeeeeeee, was the park crowded again! Jay and I were over at the Safari by 9:30AM and the stand-by wait was an hour and the FastPass return was noon. What gives???
Fine, Animal Kingdom, be that way. We'll do that jungle trek and some other stuff and go ride Dinosaur and then we'll go find something to eat because it's getting close to lunchtime in St. Louis (11AM) and the parasitic tummy-twin is getting hungry again.
But before we go ... take our pitcure, would ya?
Now that's a vacation picture!!
I love this picture ... such healthy color; such relaxed smiles; such not anywhere near Stinktown!
While enjoying a nice air conditioned ride back to the Beach Club on a relatively empty and blissfully quiet bus, Jay and I tried to figure out the best choice for lunch. We were supposed to have dinner at California Grill that night so we didn't want to stuff ourselves at midday. And it was an extremely hot day, so the thought of eating too much or even eating outdoors was distinctly unappealing. We wanted decent food served in a dark, frigid environment ... and thus found ourselves at the front doors to the ESPN Club on the Boardwalk.
Now, I must tell you all that I used to love the ESPN Club.
Used to.
You've probably guessed by now that Jay and I prefer to visit Florida in October and as all you baseball fans know, that's playoff and world series time! Ah, the fond memories we have of watching the 2004 NLCS against Houston ... wearing butt grooves in the chairs ... drinking Killians
to excess ... dancing in the middle of ESPN's "dining room" when the Cardinals clinched game 7 to advance to the World Series ... going to
MNSSHP on a beery/baseball high ... eating tuna pitas for dinner three nights in a row ... watching hockey games at the bar ... I could go on but if I do I'll start weeping like a hormonal, middle-aged baby. Suffice to say, we used to spend a lot of time at the ESPN Club and I never minded that much because I really enjoy baseball and they used to have the best freaking tuna sandwich I ever ate at WDW:
**Cue Celestial Choir**
The Tuna Pita.
A fresh, warm pita pocket stuffed with ESPN's tuna salad, which was never too filled with stuff and never had too much mayonnaise. I always ordered mine with fresh fruit on the side and washed it down with beer, and a little water. I could have eaten that for lunch or dinner every day and been perfectly satisfied with my lot in life. But some soulless marketing genius in the food and beverage department decided that ESPN needed to revitalize and update its menu. So much to my chagrin in October 2006, during our Cardinals' unlikely and amazing post-season run, I discovered that my tuna pita was no longer being offered.
To quote Roman Moronie from the movie
Johnny Dangerously, "You fargin iceholes."
And now here I was, twelve months later struggling to find something to order from their "new and improved" menu most of which sounded pretty revolting to me. The only thing I could do to ease the decision making process was to buy myself a drink.
Behold ... the Tailgater!
This was a refreshingly tasty drink, described on the menu as Southern Lemonade with Bourbon, Triple Sec, Lemon, and a splash of Sprite. I suppose I should have asked the bartender what the difference is supposed to be between "southern" lemonade and the lemonade that the rest of us drink in the United States. My deepest hope is that they didn't make it using Country Time Lemonade, because the last time I checked there were no lemons in Country Time.
So what's for eating? There was little choice for me ... I ordered The Home Run Hot Dog.
Yes, this dog is also nekkid, except for the artistic mustard swirls added by yours truly.
This dog is actually supposed to be served with chili, shredded cheddar cheese, and chopped onion. BLECH!!!!!
Now you know why I ordered it au naturale.
This was not a great hot dog, but I think that's because this was actually a really long, greasy, sausage that had been fried on the grill rather than an actual hot dog which we all know is some kind of intestinal wrapper stuffed with pulverized chicken feet, rat tails, and the random human finger and which reaches peak flavor after being boiled in dirty dishwater for three days.
I only ate about half of the dog, but did put a pretty good dent in the fries, which were light and crispy and lightly dusted with salt. Adding cheap yellow mustard only improved the taste!
Jay was feeling brave and decided to take his tummy on a test run by ordering the Upper Deck Hot Roast Beef and Cheese. This sandwich is described as follows on ESPN's menu: thinly sliced roast beef topped with melted Swiss cheese on a freshly baked roll, and served with cucumber salad or fries.
Grimace might call this a Philly Cheesesteak ...
That was one hungry hubba because he ate every morsel and declared it "the most delicious sandwich I've eaten all day."
My overall reaction to ESPN was "eh." I miss my tuna pita...and I am apparently not the only one. Our bartender told us that she gets requests and complaints daily about the missing sandwich but said that unless we flood the mental giants who run the company with email requesting its return, our beloved tuna will never be heard from again. So who's up for an email campaign???
Before I close out for the night, I wanted to share something funny with you all. Well, Jay and I think it's funny ... you may just be annoyed at me for taking up valuable food space with more silliness. If you recall, some days earlier in our trip (the 17th actually) we had spent the morning at the Magic Kingdom where we were lucky enough to win Dream Fastpasses.
For some reason shortly after we won, we decided to stop and have our picture taken with Stitch and had the brillaint idea to bring Plankton into the mix. Although we've never seen
Lilo and Stitch, we think the character of Stitch is kind of funny when he's not just being annoying as all get out.
I wish we had the whole series of pictures from Photopass because the CM playing Stitch was an absolute riot when we handed Plankton over, sniffing him...turning him upside down...shaking him...and finally turning to both Jay and me and shrugging as if to say, "What the hell is this???"
Try not to look too closely at me in these pictures ... I've got the dork-o-meter running on high.
I think that second picture could have made a great Holiday greeting card.
That's it for this segment; coming up next ... more food and wine festival booths and more room sevice because I really can be an enormous pig!
Thanks for reading!
I still miss breakfast with my Pooh friends at Wilderness Lodge 
And those fries, heavenlicious 
Thanks for another great update!
, I think we are destined for......Duelling Wursts!! I already posted the pic from my report with the Germany sausage kiosk. Should I have posted here my Beaches and Cream hot dog here, too? I didn't post my No Way José (with José's face in it), even though you had one of those, too. Heheheh. Ok, I gave you some pun-worthy material. I hope you can do me proud. 
) would get a special EE preview -- ONE DAY BEFORE OUR ARRIVAL! Oh, that just wouldn't do, so I promptly changed our flight and added a day at Pop Century just so we could be one of the first to experience EE. And yes, it was totally worth it!
(That's as close as I could find to a snout smilie...)
That reminds me, I meant to go to Target today for the Jergens natural glow lotion. It's 70 degrees here today and capri season is just around the corner! Remember, tan fat looks better than white fat!
The hot dog doesn't look all that appetizing
I loved the pictures of you both with Stitch and Plankton. It's definitely a classic!
