Hucifer and Dan's flipping huge trip report *Last 3 days/Epilogue! 10/9, pgs 36-38*

[stinkerbelle's mom]

Thanks for the 3-fer! Hope Dan had a better day the next day with no accidents!

 

[DISUNC]

Actually he has more of a Dobie Gillis look going for him.....

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Beana9802]

That is my only goal in life!
I hope they weren't Oreo's...That would be too much of a waste!
How are things in LawwngIlynd?

Nah, they were peanut-butter chocolate chip...tasty!

Anyhoo...Wendy...I enjoyed reading your reports on the water park. I have never been to a Dis water park, I haven't been in the dis for long enough to actually make it to one of them... That's my goal.

I loved how you actually had reservations this time! Do you think you'd do citricos again, with poor danny's chicken problems?

 

[alberto]

Ah, Miss Hucifer,
As we say in old country...
Urto alla prima pagina
Which means el bump to first page

 

[Dreamseeker]

*subscribing*
I am absolutely in love with your TR...love your sense of humor, love your style!

 

[bratus913]

Wow! I knew it would pay off to visit the board on a Sat night. My Dh said, "Hey, let's go out, have a nice dinner, go dancing, and buy you some new shoes!" but I said "Nope! I just KNOW hucifer is going to update today, and I must stay home!"

DO NOT let Sher know you posted this!

 

[sheridac]

DO NOT let Sher know you posted this!

Too late!!!!!!

Also. You girls must be stoked!!!!! 6 days and counting!!!

 

[sheridac]

We let ourselves sleep in until 7:30. (Yes, 7:30 is “sleeping in” at Disney World.)

Uh-oh. You're walking on the wild side with that comment!!!

I told Dan he needn’t worry about showering since we were headed for one of the water parks that day. That certainly perked him up (about going to the parks, not about the not-showering bit).

Uumm. I'm pretty sure it's the showering part!!!!

Then we both have a good laugh at Crabby Man’s expense.

I love a good laugh at someone else's expense!!!! Which explains why I keep coming back to this trip report!!!!

waitress is a little freaky, however. This middle-aged woman has plucked off all of her eyebrows and drew them in with marker or something. But she didn’t draw them right; they’re too high and very severe-looking…almost like Seinfeld’s Uncle Leo…there’s no reason to get angry at us lady, we’re only eating here. Hopefully she will use our tip money toward eyebrow implants.

Let's start a collection. We'll have a telethon and have Jerry host it!!

For the rest of the day we would break out in a random “your wife’s a (woman of the evening)” at the other person./quote]
Hey Wendy!!!! “your wife’s a (woman of the evening)”!!!!

donned our sexy water shoes

Oh NO!!!!! Not the water shoes!!!!! Eeeeekk!!!!!!!!

 

[sheridac]

The CM turned around. He didn’t like this move. Not one bit.

“Don’t get into the raft until I say!” the Ride Nazi barks.

Did you get eevil angry eyes???

[quoteHe points at his shins, which look pretty hairy, but not the least bit bruised to me.[/quote]
Can you pick him out of a line up?? Let's go after him with my epilady!!!

just as we spin under it, that little stream hits Dan right in the fruit bat area. The timing was perfect.

Oh no!!!! Not the fruit bat area!!!!!

Speaking of Mick…do you think he misses us back at the resort?

I doubt it. He was probably racking up your phone bill and raiding your adult beverages!!!

At the bus stop, Dan decides to get the sand off of his sexy water shoes and he smacks the shoes against a sign pole. “You’re so dirty,” he says to the shoes. “You are such dirty, naughty shoes and need to be punished.” He smacks them against the pole again. “Yeah, you like that, don’t you?”

ahahahaha!!!!! Wendy, I just LOVE Dan!!!

Dan agrees that we were lucky to pick a bus that was so chock-full of celebrities.

Hey!! I rode to Animal Kingdom with Farrah Fawcett!

 

[bratus913]

Too late!!!!!!

Also. You girls must be stoked!!!!! 6 days and counting!!!

Yup pretty excited. Although I have to set 'the man' up for life without moi for 7 days. Not looking pretty - a 39 year old man, an 8 year old and a 6 year old - home alone, without mom. Who will win this war? My bet is on the girls - they DO take after their mother If I set a recorder up in the house, I can imagine a steady stream of "Mom doesn't do it like THAT!"

SO glad I won't be around to see it!

 

[sheridac]

Yup pretty excited. Although I have to set 'the man' up for life without moi for 7 days. Not looking pretty - a 39 year old man, an 8 year old and a 6 year old - home alone, without mom. Who will win this war? My bet is on the girls - they DO take after their mother If I set a recorder up in the house, I can imagine a steady stream of "Mom doesn't do it like THAT!"

SO glad I won't be around to see it!

Hahahaha!!!! You know what would be really funny??? Plant a couple of hidden cameras and watch what happens!!!!

Bwahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Wendy???

Are you gonna finish this puppy in the next 4 days???????

 

[hucifer]

Hey Wendy???

Are you gonna finish this puppy in the next 4 days???????

Yes I am!

 

[hucifer]

Just wanted to shout out to all the regular posters out there for not giving up on me! I'm glad you're all laughing at my expense....really.

Mal, your post was hiliarious.

DisUnc...I love love love your replies! Where do you find all those smilies?

NMAmy, glad I could keep you from utter boredom.

Beana9802, do yourself a favor and go to the water parks! They are absolutely a fantastic time. Trust me.

Dreamseeker, I love new readers! Welcome! And...I'm almost finished.

Sheri...welcome back, girl. Please tell me who those other girls are in your siggie...and I want screen names, not real names.


Alright...on to the next installment...

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

Hi Wendy! Was getting ready to log off til I saw your post.... I'm so happy you'll be adding today! Happy Sunday!

 

[hucifer]

This report comes with another warning.

Dan and I took the half-day Undiscovered Future World tour. I go into some details about it, so if spoilers aren’t your thing, you may want to skip Parts 2 to 4. If you can stand to miss the hilarity, that is. And speaking of which, I’ve read the reviews on this tour. I know what other people did, what other people saw. I know we were shorted. I know our tour guide skipped over a few cool things. Is it fair? I mean, we paid the same price as the others who got a better experience. I think not, my friend. Which is why this particular tour description has a slightly negative tone about it. If you read it, that is. Which is what I recommend.

Part 1. The nicest monorail driver in the World…now if I could only remember her name…

At 6am our wakeup call rings in. Dan rolls over and says that he had Harry Potter dreams last night.

“You know what this means, don’t you?” I ask. “It means that not only were you subconsciously aware that Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party was tonight, but that we are destined to go.”

Ever since we went to the party on Day 2, I was desperate to convince Dan to go again. I mean, we had the costumes already. All I needed was the go-ahead from him and slam-bam! I’d be buying Halloween tickets for two faster than a cookie batter-soaked finger disappears in an old lady’s mouth. No such luck, though. He was never really excited at the thought. Probably couldn’t handle me getting all the attention.

We shower, dress, and by 7:40 I’m standing at the door, waiting for Dan. “Umm…” he says. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Nope. I got everything I need.”

Dan reaches around the television and picks up my Pal. He wiggles Mick in front of him. “You sure?”

“Oh for pete’s sake!” I said, slapping my forehead. “How could I forget Mickey?”

“It’s a good thing we don’t have any children. You’re probably the kind of mom who leaves their child on top of the minivan while driving around town.”

Score one for Dan.

I guiltily clip Mick on my waist and walk down to the lobby. Once we’re outside and heading toward the Poly, a SoG employee asks us if we want a ride instead. He’s driving a golf cart. My, isn’t this nice? Not that I’m complaining or anything, but why didn’t we get asked before? Do you know how many times we had to walk through the rain to get to the Poly?

We drive past the pond with the alligator sign. Where are those buggers hiding? What prompted those people to put up those stupid signs, anyway? I NEVER get to see any dangerous wildlife! *stomps foot*

At the end of the road, the nice SoG employee drops us off and leaves. Wow it’s quiet out here. Do you think it will be a nice day? It’s already looking like it’s going to rain.

We arrive at the monorail station and the rain starts coming down. Please stop, please stop, please stop! We have a tour this morning. We catch the next monorail to the TTC. Once we get up the ramp to the Epcot monorail, I ask if we can sit up front. The CM says that if no one else is there already, that we can. And I’m thinking, why would anyone be in it at this hour?

The monorail arrives and yes, we are granted the official OK to enter the driver’s compartment. We climb aboard, say hello and thanks to our friendly driver, and wait inside. When the monorail begins its trek to Epcot, the rain is really coming down. I’m thinking, storm your guts out now and be done for the rest of the day. I simply cannot endure another tour in the rain.

During the trip, we make very pleasant conversation with the nice monorail driver lady. Dan and I have our fun (surprise, surprise) taking silly photos of each other on the way there.

Look Mickey! It's raining! Again! Yipeeeee!

A boy and his Pal Mickey. Awwwwwww.


So the train arrives at Epcot and the driver starts to wind it around the big ball. She then asks, “Do you want a really great picture?”

What, besides the ones of each other? Of course we do!

So she slows the monorail down to a dead stop…right in front of the ball. What a beautiful shot! Screw the other folks that are on the monorail…Wendy and Dan, Copilots Extraordinaire are on board and demand the monorail stop so that we may take a picture. Snap snap, our photos are taken and we eventually grant the driver permission to continue.

Only the privileged few have taken this shot. In your FACE, peeps!


When the monorail comes to a complete stop, make sure you have all of your belongings, take small children by the hand…oh sorry. Guess I’ve heard that spiel a few times.

So the monorail stops and the driver hands us our Copilot License. That’s awful sweet of you, oh nice monorail driver lady whose name I’ve forgotten…but we’re already certified. See? Driver Scott personally certified us the day before. I steered. Dan worked the horn. You’re just lucky we didn’t make you sit with the rest of the passengers.

We're going to start selling our collection of co-pilot licenses on Ebay soon.


Next installment: Part 2. What? No food on this tour?

 

[sheridac]

Sheri...welcome back, girl. Please tell me who those other girls are in your siggie...and I want screen names, not real names.

okie dokie smokie!!! oh. that would be dan probably. how's this: okie dokie hokie pokie???

At Pop it's Jamal's friend, my friend, yours truly, Grammyof2, Jamal and Jamal's other friend.

At Illuminations it's Jamal, HaleyB, Horsegirl,Grammyof2 and yours truly.

 

[hucifer]

Hi Wendy! Was getting ready to log off til I saw your post.... I'm so happy you'll be adding today! Happy Sunday!

Just wait, Stinker! I'm including the whole dang day 9 today...more to come!

 

[hucifer]

The rain has stopped for now. We climb down the stairs and walk into the queuing area for the park entrance. After a few “This line…no, not that line…let’s go to this line” and we’re finally standing in front of a man with a clipboard who checks that we can legally enter the park early. Dan wonders why.

On the way to Guest Services I ask him to stand outside. You know what that means…another opportunity for him to spark one up. So he meanders to the bathroom area and I step inside the building.

A few other tour guests are already here. I approach the man behind the counter and check in. He tells me to find our names and grab our nametags. By “nametags” he means that someone has written our names with permanent marker on peel-n-stick paper. So if it rains again and these cheap pieces of crap get wet, we’re all in danger of not knowing who we are. Now keep in mind that the Keys to the Kingdom tour provided actual buttons for nametags, with our names lasered right on them. Several steps down in quality, I would say. Strike one against this tour.

So I peel back our names and slap mine on my chest. I give it eighteen minutes before the corners start to curl up. The man says that it will still be a few more minutes, and to please have a seat. Instead, I walk out of the building and over to the bathrooms to meet up with Dan. I hand him Pal Mickey and his nametag, which is hanging off the edge of my finger. “We got fancy nametags this time,” I say as Dan slaps his on. Then I run into the women’s restroom.

When I came back out, Dan was holding Mick to his ear. “He vibrated and I’m listening to his spiel. Did you know that we are standing by Spaceship Earth and that most folks think it looks like a giant golf ball?”

As he handed Mick back over to me, he lost his grip and dropped my Pal on the cement. Splat! Right on his nose. Right where his most delicate sensors are located. Fantastic. Hope you didn’t break him, or there will be hell to pay.

“Good thing we don’t have any children.” I say. “You’re probably one of those dads who drops his baby on his head.”

Score one for me.

Dan scooped up Mickey, kissed his nose, and apologized to him. He handed him over to me. So Mick (who is a bit bruised but thankfully okay), Dan, and I walk back over to Guest Services. The rest of the group is standing around and wearing their cheap paper nametags. They look at least 10 years older than us. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Around 9am, our tour guide Chiquita* rounds us up. Chiquita looks around my age and is a bit under the weather. She apologizes for having a cold and tells us to bear with her throughout the tour. She’s holding Kleenex, index cards, and an umbrella. She asks if there are any questions before the tour starts. Dan raises his hand.

“Do we get to keep these nametags when the tour is over?”

Now anyone with a sense of irony would know he was kidding…right?

Or not. Chiquita stopped for a second. Apparently she had never been asked that before. Then she said, “Yes, you can keep those.”

“Oh boy!” Dan squealed. The others must have thought he was nuts. But I giggled to myself.

Chiquita asks if there are any other questions. My hand goes up.

“Are you going to give us headphones?”

“No, we don’t use them on this tour.”

“Did you know we did on the Keys to the Kingdom? And that they worked really, really well? How are we going to hear you?” Especially if she’s got a cold.

Chiquita assures me that they won’t be necessary. Strike two against this tour. No headphones? I don’t mean to keep comparing the two tours, but…okay, I guess I’m comparing the two.

Chiquita has us huddled near the entrance to Guest Services. She officially starts the tour by giving us Epcot facts, all while holding up her index cards for reference. I guess she’s new at this. Matthew didn’t use cards. She asks, “Does anyone know when Epcot officially opened?”

I hold up my hand. “Me! I do! Me! It was 1982.”

“That’s right,” she says. I look at Dan. He gives me a you-are-such-a-know-it-all look. I stick my tongue out at him. God we are so mature.

Chiquita coughs and looks back at her index cards. She says that this tour is about the history and creation of Epcot and the legacy Walt left behind. We were to see how each pavilion in Future World celebrates human accomplishment. Then she starts explaining about Spaceship Earth construction and the cost of the hideous Epcot sign that is next to it. The panels that make up SE are made of a material called Alucobond, and these panels have a unique draining system, so that when it rains (like on every day of our vacation), water doesn’t barrel down on the guests. The hideous Epcot sign cost something like a million dollars to build.

I said, “I’d tear it down for free.”

Call me a purist. But dang I hate that Epcot sign and Mickey hand.

Chiquita continues to gives us facts, peppered with a few questions (answered mostly by yours truly…what can I say? I’m an Epcot girl, through-and-through.) After several minutes, we begin our trek toward the Land pavilion. On the way, we stop in front of the Fountain of Nations. Chiquita tells us that before Epcot’s grand opening, every nation was invited to come over and pour one gallon of their water into the fountain.

Like well-trained guests, everyone around me oohed and ahhed. Not me. I bypass Sentimental Street and head right for Wet Blanket Boulevard. Who knows what kind of foreign microorganisms must be swimming in there! Surely it should come with some sort of warning, like, “Unless you want to contract some sort of undiagnosed exotic disease, the World Health Organization suggests that you do not drink, breathe, or come too close to this fountain. Parasites from every corner of the globe have been flown in and dumped into here…some that haven’t even been named or discovered yet. We cannot guarantee that chlorine has successfully destroyed every living thing in this cesspool. So when it’s time for the Fountain show, we highly recommend that you do not stand downwind from it. Thanks, and have a disease-free day at Epcot!”

Yeah, yeah I know. I sort of suck the dignity right out of it.

We leave the fountain and head straight for the Land. Inside, she gathers us around the inside entrance and tells us that before she continues on, she is allowing us to take our only snack break of the tour…that we have to pay for. Never mind that KTTK tour included lunch with the tour and that it was the same number of hours. Strike three.

But whatever, I guess I’ll get a snack downstairs. Dan goes outside to poison his lungs and I run down to the Seasons café. Hmm…the grill isn’t open yet since it’s still too early, so the pickings are few. Strike four for having to pick something from the baked goods with limited nutritional value and high sugar content. Not much of a selection either, so I grab the seemingly healthiest thing I could find…a lemon poppy seed muffin. Yeah, yeah I know. Lemon poppy seed muffins aren’t exactly “healthy,” but a) I didn’t have a cornucopia of choices, b) she picked a terrible time for us to have our only snack, c) I love love love them suckers, and d) I really want to test positive for opium.

I plop my muffin on a tray and grab a water from the cooler. Six dollars for a muffin and a water?! Are you kidding me? This muffin better rock my world, Cashier Lady.

I find a table to sit down. That’s harder than it sounds because those water bottles don’t balance well on plastic trays. They always threaten to fall off. It has something to do with balancing a tall bottle on a wide board…you know, it’s about the center of gravity of the bottle, or something else that’s physics-related and involves complicated equations to explain. If you do manage to balance it before you find a table, by the time you place the tray down, it will inevitably tip and roll off the table. It’s like Murphy’s Law or the Law of Physics or something. So I do my juggling act with the water bottle and the muffin and find a table. I sit down, catch my bottle before it hits the nasty floor, and start attacking my muffin. Don’t know why I even bought it, I had breakfast in the room. Anyway, the muffin was pretty tasty (albeit sugary). I’m looking forward to my sugar buzz hitting in about 15 minutes…and failing a drug test for opium. I scarf the muffin down, wash it down with some water, and meet the others back upstairs. Yes, I threw out my trash and put the tray away!



*Name changed to protect the innocent from my trip report.


Next installment: Part 3. AWOL tour guide and stowaway tourists

 

[sheridac]

And speaking of which, I’ve read the reviews on this tour. I know what other people did, what other people saw. I know we were shorted. I know our tour guide skipped over a few cool things. Is it fair? I mean, we paid the same price as the others who got a better experience. I think not, my friend.

Too bad you don't know about the power of the mad skillz t-shirt. I know your sister does!!!!

Part 1. The nicest monorail driver in the World…now if I could only remember her name…

NICE!!! Oh Ms. Nicestmonoraildriverintheworldthatdidsupermagicalthingsforus.
Sorry!!!! I don't remember your name?????!!!

At 6am our wakeup call rings in. Dan rolls over and says that he had Harry Potter dreams last night.

Should we be scared???

I’d be buying Halloween tickets for two faster than a cookie batter-soaked finger disappears in an old lady’s mouth.

Oh goody!!! Thanks for THAT memory!!!

So she slows the monorail down to a dead stop…right in front of the ball. What a beautiful shot! Screw the other folks that are on the monorail…Wendy and Dan, Copilots Extraordinaire are on board and demand the monorail stop so that we may take a picture. Snap snap, our photos are taken and we eventually grant the driver permission to continue.

Only the privileged few have taken this shot. In your FACE, peeps!

That IS a great shot!!! Who cares about all those other people!!!

 

[hucifer]

One by one, we well-trained tourists arrive at the meeting point. By the designated time, everyone has arrived except Chiquita. We were standing around and scratching our bums and wondering aloud whether this was the correct meeting place. Dan, in the meanwhile, has his attention at some hot young mom who walked past the group. I watched him as his eyes followed her all the way around the pavilion. I finally elbowed him. He spun his head back around to me, looking irritated. “What?” he asked.

“Dude, I’m right here!”

He pouts. “You never let me have any fun!”

Several minutes later, more of us are grumbling about Chiquita’s mysterious disappearance. Will they knock a few dollars off of our tour? What if she never comes back and we’re stuck here in the Land pavilion? Is there a way out without a guide? Will they ever find us? Will panic set in before she returns?

You, with the blue backpack and Bermuda shorts…send help! Tell them to look for a leaderless group in the Land pavilion…they will recognize us by our lost expressions and curled nametags. Hurry! Before we go hungry and start eating each other.

Call me crazy but…shouldn’t she have been one of the first ones back here? After a few more minutes of murmuring and confusion, she finally walks in the main entrance. Her nose is red from blowing and she looks a bit flustered. “I’m sorry about that,” she says with a nasally tone, but doesn’t offer a reason for her tardiness.

You, with the stroller and whiney kids…look for a man wearing Bermuda shorts and a blue backpack… we have a message for him. Tell him the eagle has landed and the kids are able to leave the nest. No, he’ll know what that means. Also, tell him to send food. All they offered us were muffins for the entire 4.5 hours.

We gather at the landing of the Land pavilion and Chiquita continues her spiel. During her talk about the significance of the Land, a wad of spit flies out of her mouth and lands right on my chin. She didn’t notice, but I sure did. Screw subtlety, I immediately go into Freak-Out Mode, flailing my hands and arms over my face and scrubbing my chin so hard, the first layer of skin came off. I didn’t even care if she saw my little episode …I just wanted to get the germ-fest goob off of my face.

I don’t want your sickness, missy. How about if I back up a few paces? Let someone else take a few of your hits for a while? You didn’t sneak a drink from the Fountain of Nations, did you?

I listen to her speech and hope that it will at least end with a “follow me downstairs for front-line seats on Soarin’.” You know, reparations for the tour’s deficiencies and all that. No such luck there. She sniffs and leads us out of the building.

Our next stop is the Living Seas. Too bad the entire freaking pavilion is under refurbishment and we cannot explore anything inside the pavilion. Chiquita leads us around the back and through the only open part of the pavilion…the Coral Reef. I have never been inside this restaurant before, so when we walked through the lobby and into the restaurant…I gasped. Literally.

Oooooh. Sparkly.

Like most women, I am attracted to all things sparkling and brilliant. Short-term memory takes a backseat to curiosity…I am temporarily hypnotized by pretty things. No matter who you are, if you wave a bright shimmery diamond-like thing at me, I’m easily distracted and likely to follow. A creepy old man in a dark alley in the middle of Detroit could allure me if he had something sparkly.

The Coral Reef had that kind of effect on me. I knew we were there for some educational reason…to learn stuff or do tour crap or something…but my, what a beautiful restaurant! Not just the aquarium along the entire west wall…the entire room. Thousands of blue mosaic glass tiles along the tables and walls shimmered in the low light and brilliantly accented the giant wall of aquarium that dominated the restaurant. It was like one big blue sparkling gem mine. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting anything so darn pretty. And I was temporarily distracted.

The restaurant wasn’t open yet except for our small tour group. All tables sat empty but ready for the lunch crowd; dishes, silverware, and glasses were set around the tables. Chiquita walked up to a table that was right next to the aquarium. She sat down and faced the place setting as if she was getting ready to eat. Instead of picking up a fork, however, she picked up her index cards and started reading her notes. She didn’t offer us seats, I guess because we didn’t have colds. So we all stood around the table.

She asked, “Can anyone name a Disney sea movie?”

I raised my hand. “Me! Me! I can! Finding Nemo and The Little Mermaid.”

Chiquita praised me for my response.

Dan looked down at me and said, “ALRIGHT, Hermione. Are you going to answer all of her questions?”

Chiquita talked about the Living Seas pavilion and how it’s like one of (or the) largest indoor aquariums on this side of the Mississippi. Or something like that. I don’t remember, but her statistic was pretty impressive. Oh wait, I think she mentioned that it was SO big (how big was it?), it was so big that the entire Spaceship Earth golf ball could fit inside of it. Now THAT’S an impressive statistic.

Then she let out another cough. This time it was over the table she was sitting at. Which meant it was over someone’s lunch dishes.

Nice one, lady. Is it a personal goal of yours to spread this cold throughout WDW? At least it wasn’t on my face this time.

So Chiquita chats on a bit about the significance of the seas pavilion (little of which I can remember by now), until she finally collects her index cards, stands up, and asks her to follow her to the next pavilion.

Bye bye, sparkly pretty building.

We walk over to the Imagination pavilion.

Here is where Chiquita tells us she has a special surprise for us. We are led away from the accessible area to a backstage area, and up a set of stairs that leads us to…

…the old Image Works playground.

Many who read this will say, “Huh? What the crap is that?” and not really care what I have to say about it. But those of you in the know like I am…those of you who think back and remember a time when Figment was created by Dreamfinder and Journey Into Imagination was a sweet and memorable attraction…and there was the rainbow tunnel and the pin cushion tables…and that wonderful little tune. Ah, sweet sweet memories.

You may think all of it is gone forever, and well, most of it is, but when we went upstairs to the old Image Works area, the dark and vacant floor still had the echoes of guests gone by…but the rainbow tunnel, a Figment cutout, and a lonely pin cushion table still remained. It was a sad and tired reminder of yesteryear… just a few ghosts of the old attraction were left to haunt this dreary floor.

In the far corner next to the glass windows, two rows of chairs were facing one single chair. They were obviously set there for our little group. Chiquita invited us to sit down this time. She sat in the single chair that faced the Image Works area, and the rest of us piled into the rows of chairs.

The first thing she asks us is if we could spot the Hidden Mickey. Seeing that I’m virtually unable to spot these things on my own, I, Hermione Granger, finally couldn’t raise my hand and squeak out an answer. A woman behind me pointed out that the small potted tree behind her looked like one. “That’s right!” Chiquita praised her and said that there were lots of Hidden Mickeys backstage, where the average guest couldn’t see them. My thought was, how long can you keep a living, growing plant into the shape of something before it gets distorted?

Chiquita whips out her index cards and talks about many things. She did mention some things about the Imagination pavilion, but she also talked about corporate sponsorship and that while many companies pull their sponsorship from attractions, that it was okay either way if a pavilion was sponsored or not. I wasn’t sure why she kept trying to drive this point home. Seems to me that those that don’t have sponsors tend to decompose. Some die completely, ala the Wonders of Life and its eerily quiet desolateness. Others, like Spaceship Earth, fade gradually and its interior is left to slowly rot away.

She also talked about the monorail and its conception and use. We had a great view of the monorail track from our seats, and every once in a while one would zoom past our window.

We were seated quite a while, but so much time has passed that I don’t remember most of what she had to talk about. When she was out of Imagination Pavilion index cards, she stood up and told us we could look around before we left the Image Works area. A few of us darted straight for the pin cushions…partly for play, partly for nostalgic reasons. While some of us were pressing our hands up into the pins, others were going off into the dusty corners to see what other forgotten, hidden gems were to be rediscovered.

Just as we were admiring the pin cushion art we were creating…a face suddenly appears into the pins. What the…? Those of us around the table find it amusing. Before I can look under the table to see who was doing it, the pin face disappears and Dan comes crawling from under the table. Ah, I should have known. Once a village idiot, always a village idiot.

“Ow,” he says, rubbing his face and smirking. “Those pins kinda hurt.”

I look at his face. He had tiny uniform holes all over his face.

I told him so. “I do?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah. Was it worth it?”

“No, not really.”

Chiquita tells us that we need to leave, so I look all around the room to capture as much of it as I can before I head down the spiral staircase. I probably would never see it again, so I tried really hard to imprint it into my memory.

We walk all the way over to the Universe of Energy. We don’t actually step inside the building. Instead, Chiquita gives us a very brief chat about the pavilion’s significance. What it was, I have little clue. But she did say that the dinosaur topiaries were from a state fair or old park or something and were donated to Epcot like 50 years ago. Whoopee.

As we walked past the Wonders Of Life pavilion, this was my opportunity to bring attention to it. I asked what was going to happen to it, were there any plans to reopen it? Remodel it? Tear it down and start over? But alas, Chiquita offered me little else than a shoulder shrug and an indeterminate answer. Apparently, if you had a question that wasn’t covered in her index cards, you were pretty much screwed.

We walk over to Mission: Space. Instead of going into the main entrance, she leads us to a cleverly hidden entrance just to the left of the main entrance. We sneak around the corner to a door that is marked “Hewlett-Packard.” We can’t get in right away because no one is answering her secret knock. So we stand around the area and start to talk amongst ourselves.

A few minutes later, we are joined by some unfamiliar faces. A middle-aged couple stands behind us and wait as patiently as any good WDW guest would. Since Dan and I are at the back of the line waiting to get in, we are the first to notice that we have some new peeps joining us. A few others notice, but no one says anything.

Finally, someone answers Chiquita’s desperate knocking and opens the secret door. The group shuffles in and the secret door closes behind us. We are standing in a small room that is next to a staircase. I’m close to giggling out loud at this point, because our new guests are standing next to us, about to get a free tour.

Or not.

“Can I help you?” Chiquita asks the newbies. She is eyeing them up and down. Surely these people weren’t getting away with backstage secrets for free.

The man speaks. “We…uh…were waiting in line for Mission: Space?”

Chiquita corrects him. “This is a private tour. The entrance to Mission: Space is to the left.”

I was half-expecting her eyes to flash red and for her to shout, “Guards! Escort these two stowaways to the emperor’s dungeon and teach them a lesson. Nobody sneaks into my tours, got it? NOBODY!” (Insert evil laugh.)

The man looks clearly embarrassed. “Oh! I am so sorry.” He and his wife quickly opened the secret door and left in shame.

“It’s too late! They’ve seen too much! Guards…catch them! Show them why we never break rules here in Walt Disney World.”

When the excitement of the uninvited guests wore down, Chiquita was able to collect herself again and commence with the tour. She said that some of the pavilions had sponsors, like this one, and that the sponsor’s employees had access to private lounges. Others didn’t have sponsors, like Wonders of Life and Spaceship Earth, but that was okay too. Anyway, we, the privileged few on the Undiscovered Future World Tour, were granted permission to see HP’s lounge. And by God, if she had to do a head count to make sure no one else was sneaking in, that’s what she would do!

An HP representative came down the staircase and informed Chiquita that we had the official OK to go into the lounge, but only if we didn’t take pictures of anything or touch anything or bothered anyone or stared at anything too long. She made it seem like this was a very special treat to see this secret lounge. We followed the two up the stairs. The lounge itself was small, but it had some amenities like a kitchenette and a stocked fridge with beverages. There was a window that overlooked the Mission: Space line queue. A family with two children were using the lounge at the moment and seemed perfectly okay that we were staring at them like they were part of the attraction. Meh. I’ve seen enough…next?

Suddenly, the HP rep approached us and in a soft but panicked voice announced that time was up, we had to leave the premises immediately. Geez, get over yourself, lady. We’re not talking about classified military information here. It’s just a stupid lounge.

Chiquita led us back downstairs, through the secret entrance, and back outside. Masses of people were circling the area. The castaways were nowhere in sight. Hopefully they were able to escape the wrath of Chiquita’s guards.


Next installment: Part 4. At the controls of Mission Space with Otto, the hot German guy