How would you react if this was your ds?

[kakiegirl]

I thought this was an urban legend...

That was not an urban legend I remember seeing it on the nightly news, it has been several years ago. I think it was in California and it was at a convience store where the bathrooms are on the outside. The Aunt stood outside the bathroom door and waited and waited and he never came out. The man that did it came out while she was waiting.

 

[LauraAnn630]

Anyone that knows me, knows Im not one of those "my little angels" mother. Thats funny for you to refer to me as being that way! Its far from the truth. We do not break ANY rules we want to or disregard manners. If someone leaves there children alone around hundreds of total stranger they are taking a big risk. It is also child endangerment. You can be arrested and prosecuted for doing so. You cannot be arrested for taking your children in a ladies bath/locker room. All Im saying is if I have to take my son in I will. I will not leave my children unattended. That makes me a bad mother? I dont think so! I am teaching my children to be safe in a very unsafe world. We stick together.

 

[phamton]

That was not an urban legend I remember seeing it on the nightly news, it has been several years ago. I think it was in California and it was at a convience store where the bathrooms are on the outside. The Aunt stood outside the bathroom door and waited and waited and he never came out. The man that did it came out while she was waiting.

It was a public restroom at the beach where the family was camping.
The boy and his family had been attending a reunion at a paid camping area at the beach at Oceanside Harbor, California. His aunt escorted him to the public toilet, just steps away from his family campsite
http://www.cnn.com/US/9811/16/boy.killed/
http://www.cnn.com/US/9811/17/boy.killed.01/
http://www.cnn.com/US/9811/18/restroom.slaying/

 

[Mom to Jordan]

Anyone that knows me, knows Im not one of those "my little angels" mother. Thats funny for you to refer to me as being that way! Its far from the truth. We do not break ANY rules we want to or disregard manners. If someone leaves there children alone around hundreds of total stranger they are taking a big risk. It is also child endangerment. You can be arrested and prosecuted for doing so. You cannot be arrested for taking your children in a ladies bath/locker room. All Im saying is if I have to take my son in I will. I will not leave my children unattended. That makes me a bad mother? I dont think so! I am teaching my children to be safe in a very unsafe world. We stick together.

Well said. I remember the story of the little boy in the bathroom being killed. My DS was little and I remembere thinking "I will never let him go alone". Of course at almost 13 he does now go alone but he went with me for many years! I never thought of myself as an "angel mother" either but if that means I love my kid enough to do what I must to protect him then I'm proud to be an "angel mother".

Jordan's mom

 

[tazdeb]

I'm all for protecting your children, but you said in your post you would do what you want, no matter what, and if it pi** people off too bad. You also said you still take your 8 year old son into womens changing rooms. As a mother of young daughters I think thats unaceptable. I'd be pi** off if you brought your 3rd grade son in our bathroom to change. But according to YOUR statement. TOO BAD!!!! Great example to teach your kids. Bad things can happen to children anytime, and the worlds a scary place. But you have to let them go alone sooner or later. So I ask my question again. What age is too old for a boy to be in the womens room?

 

[Marseeya]

I'm all for protecting your children, but you said in your post you would do what you want, no matter what, and if it pi** people off too bad. You also said you still take your 8 year old son into womens changing rooms. As a mother of young daughters I think thats unaceptable. I'd be pi** off if you brought your 3rd grade son in our bathroom to change. But according to YOUR statement. TOO BAD!!!! Great example to teach your kids. Bad things can happen to children anytime, and the worlds a scary place. But you have to let them go alone sooner or later. So I ask my question again. What age is too old for a boy to be in the womens room?

Why don't you start a poll?

Edited to add: My vote is 5 or 6, depending on the comfort level of the kid.

 

[tazdeb]

The question is retorical (spl?). I think common sense would say that except for special needs children, 4 or 5 years old should be the cut-off. My daughters change themselves. Yes I worry about them and accompany them if we are some place that is seedy. But at a friends pool party or blizzard beach for example I would expect them to go alone. I also wouldn't want to have to worry about 6 year olds and older boys being in there. Here in the midwest 6 year olds are in 1st grade. I'd say that is old enough to go alone while mother waits outside. ( yes I know something bad could happen if he is in there alone, but your letting something bad happen to my daughters, (embarrasment ,humiliation) when you bring an older boy into the ladies room. And bringing a non special needs 8 year old boy in there would have ME protecting my daughters by having a talk with you.....TAZ

 

[Aidensmom]

I know I will probably get flamed here but.....As a mother of 2 girls, ages 6 and 7 I must say I dont want 6 year old boys in the girls locker room. If you dont trust your 6 year boys alone in the boys room, and dont have a male person to take them, then either change in the car, at home or dont go. Why should we who are modest have to deal with anyone of the oposite sex in our locker room.My girls are responsible enough to change themselves and go in a locker room alone (with me right outside). I dont need to worry about boys being in there. I'm embarrassed when we have to change in front of people of the same sex and I think first grade boys are old enough to know that they are different from girls. They dont need an anatomy lesson from me or my daughters. As for all you other tigress' I believe some of you may be over protecting your children. If at the age of 6 they cant dress themselves without getting thier socks wet or thier suit off on thier own maybe they need more tome practicing that and less time swimming. JMHO

My son is only 3, but when he is 6 he will still be going in with me if his father is not there. If I had girls it might be different - the odds that there will be a sexual offender in the woman's locker room is dramatically less than the odds that there will be one in the mens. I don't think anyone that knows me would say I was overprotective, but in this kind of instance you cannot be too careful. I don't think he should have to stay home from parties because there are bad people in the world, and as for changing in the car - if it is not alright for a 6 year old boy to see your young daughters change, why is it alright for the whole world to see my son change through the car windows? I think 6 is still young enough there is no harm done. But I would put age 7 at about the limit, after that they are a little better able to understand to scream for me if approached in a bad way by a stranger and if I stood right outside the door to the locker room I would let him go in with a friend, but probably still not all alone.

 

[minkydog]

Sadly, it doesn't seem to matter whether the boy has special needs. Just two weeks ago I took my DS10 to the ladies room to change--he is autistic, severely mentally ********(IQ<20), and has trouble with balance. He also wears a diaper, so there is no dressing at home--he'd wet the car.If you ever saw him you would recognize instantly that something is a bit different about him.

I walked him into the Y just like I do every week for his therapy and an older lady shrieked at me "We're dressing in here!" It took me off guard and I told her I needed to change my son. She was clearly offended, said"well, you can't bring him in here!" very upset, so I backed away and took him into a handicapped toilet stall.

The toilet stall is large, but has no place for a child like DS to sit down. Only one hand rail, so DS was struggling to stay upright, slipping all over the wet floor, and I was sweating bullets from trying to get a bathing suit on this 95lb, loose-jointed child who can't understand commands, while trying not to wrench my back or give him a concussion on the porcelein bowl. When I came out, the older woman was still in the dressing area, holding court with other old ladies about how she put me in my place and how stupid I was. It was so upsetting. Nobody came to my defense.

I talked to the lifeguard about it and she agreed, the old lady was out of line. There is not a family dressing room at the Y(it's an older facility.) She agreed to speak with her next week so the older lady understands that young men with mental handicaps will continue to use the ladies dressing room.

<sigh> In a perfect world...

 

[LauraAnn630]

I can see your point. Are there there stalls to change in at TL and BB? We just wear our suits there and back.

Im so sick of hearing on the news almost EVERY night about an abduction. It seems to be happening more and more. Its so frightening!

I wouldnt just charge into a locker room with my son...Id try to wait for a break or ask for 2 minutes to bring my son in....something.

There are other times not related to this where you might have to do something someone disagrees with for your child.

Im not a complete idiot! LOL

 

[txgirl]

I have two daughters and one son. My son is my baby boy, so we haven't gotten to the changing and using the bathroom part...yet

I have friends with boys and girls in their families and they are very creative when changing their boys. You can clear out a boys locker room and use the staff at the pool to ensure it is empty before allowing your son (with friends) to go change. We have been at a resort pool before when we asked for a place to change with the boys and they were very accomodating.

I think some of the posts regarding modesty and guarding our girls while dressing should be heard. While I understand needing to keep your boys safe ( I will definitely do the same and I am not comfortable sending him into a men's locker or bathroom alone) I don't think a blatant disregard for a young girls modesty is the answer.

Just being considerate of the people in the dressing room, ("excuse me, I need to bring my son in here to dress in one of the stalls. Can someone let me know when everyone is decent?") Wouldn't that work?

Or you know you could just waltz into the mens restroom with the same attitude that you walk into the womens "I'm protecting my son, and I don't care who gets embarassed!" Of course the men probably wouldn't mind!

 

[meandtheguys2]

minkydog, what a witch. I am so sorry that people are so heartless sometimes. Makes you really appreciate the nice one, though, doesn't it?!

 

[tiggger1]

ok I got one for you, the place were my daughter takes swimming lessons will not let children over 6 in the women dressing room, they have to use the mens room to reach the pool ( the only way to reach the swim dressing room and pool is through the reg dressing rooms) yet they make everyone change for swimming in the same room with curtain stalls.

I wouldnt blink if a 6 year old walked into a bathroom with his mom, and if he was without i would assume he got lost and help him.

I am not modest, hey i do theatre and change in the same dressing rooms with guys my age and im 28, I help both guys and girls do quick changes, its no big deal. plus I had a child, I lost all modesty after that

one quick question if you are all so modest why weren't you changing in a stall? i havent seen one changing room for pools that doesnt have stalls?

 

[devotedchristian]

I'm all for protecting your children, but you said in your post you would do what you want, no matter what, and if it pi** people off too bad. You also said you still take your 8 year old son into womens changing rooms. As a mother of young daughters I think thats unaceptable. I'd be pi** off if you brought your 3rd grade son in our bathroom to change. But according to YOUR statement. TOO BAD!!!! Great example to teach your kids. Bad things can happen to children anytime, and the worlds a scary place. But you have to let them go alone sooner or later. So I ask my question again. What age is too old for a boy to be in the womens room?

Your argument sounds cut and dry, black and white, no room for negotiations. So what's your take on the TRUE story that is NOT Urban Legend re: the 9 year little boy whose throat was slashed...oh wait, here it is for your convienience:

Cnn.com "Police in this town 40 miles north of San Diego are reaching out to the public for help in finding the teen-age suspect in the murder of a California boy whose throat was slashed Saturday in a public restroom.

The suspect was described by the victim's aunt as a white male, 15 to 17 years old, sandy brown hair, wearing blue jeans and a gray plaid sweatshirt. As police continued to search for the suspect, a composite sketch was being prepared Monday, according to police spokeswoman Jennifer Cundiff.

The 9-year-old victim, Matthew Cecchi, had been attending a family reunion at a paid camping area at the beach at Oceanside Harbor. His aunt escorted him to the public toilet, just steps away from his family campsite, said Sgt. Tom Bussey of the Oceanside Police Department.

As the aunt waited outside, she saw the teen-ager enter the restroom, according to police. A few minutes later the teen-ager came out, and the aunt became worried about her nephew.

She told police she went into the men's room and found Matthew on the floor, bleeding from an ear-to-ear slash across his throat.

Sgt. Tom Aguigui said the aunt and several bystanders tried unsuccessfully to revive the boy and stop the bleeding, but he died at the scene."

 

[Aidensmom]

Your argument sounds cut and dry, black and white, no room for negotiations. So what's your take on the TRUE story that is NOT Urban Legend re: the 9 year little boy whose throat was slashed...oh wait, here it is for your convienience:

Cnn.com "Police in this town 40 miles north of San Diego are reaching out to the public for help in finding the teen-age suspect in the murder of a California boy whose throat was slashed Saturday in a public restroom.

The suspect was described by the victim's aunt as a white male, 15 to 17 years old, sandy brown hair, wearing blue jeans and a gray plaid sweatshirt. As police continued to search for the suspect, a composite sketch was being prepared Monday, according to police spokeswoman Jennifer Cundiff.

The 9-year-old victim, Matthew Cecchi, had been attending a family reunion at a paid camping area at the beach at Oceanside Harbor. His aunt escorted him to the public toilet, just steps away from his family campsite, said Sgt. Tom Bussey of the Oceanside Police Department.

As the aunt waited outside, she saw the teen-ager enter the restroom, according to police. A few minutes later the teen-ager came out, and the aunt became worried about her nephew.

She told police she went into the men's room and found Matthew on the floor, bleeding from an ear-to-ear slash across his throat.

Sgt. Tom Aguigui said the aunt and several bystanders tried unsuccessfully to revive the boy and stop the bleeding, but he died at the scene."

After reading this, I think DS may still be coming into restrooms with me until he is 35!

 

[39CINDERELLA]

Your argument sounds cut and dry, black and white, no room for negotiations. So what's your take on the TRUE story that is NOT Urban Legend re: the 9 year little boy whose throat was slashed...oh wait, here it is for your convienience:

Cnn.com "Police in this town 40 miles north of San Diego are reaching out to the public for help in finding the teen-age suspect in the murder of a California boy whose throat was slashed Saturday in a public restroom.

The suspect was described by the victim's aunt as a white male, 15 to 17 years old, sandy brown hair, wearing blue jeans and a gray plaid sweatshirt. As police continued to search for the suspect, a composite sketch was being prepared Monday, according to police spokeswoman Jennifer Cundiff.

The 9-year-old victim, Matthew Cecchi, had been attending a family reunion at a paid camping area at the beach at Oceanside Harbor. His aunt escorted him to the public toilet, just steps away from his family campsite, said Sgt. Tom Bussey of the Oceanside Police Department.

As the aunt waited outside, she saw the teen-ager enter the restroom, according to police. A few minutes later the teen-ager came out, and the aunt became worried about her nephew.

She told police she went into the men's room and found Matthew on the floor, bleeding from an ear-to-ear slash across his throat.

Sgt. Tom Aguigui said the aunt and several bystanders tried unsuccessfully to revive the boy and stop the bleeding, but he died at the scene."

TAZDEB~HOW IS THAT FOR A REALITY CHECK FOR YOU?

 

[39CINDERELLA]

I do agree with the OP to make sure it is ok to go in with your child because some people are so heartless and brainless that they can not comprehend you are protecting a childs life!

 

[39CINDERELLA]

Anyone that knows me, knows Im not one of those "my little angels" mother. Thats funny for you to refer to me as being that way! Its far from the truth. We do not break ANY rules we want to or disregard manners. If someone leaves there children alone around hundreds of total stranger they are taking a big risk. It is also child endangerment. You can be arrested and prosecuted for doing so. You cannot be arrested for taking your children in a ladies bath/locker room. All Im saying is if I have to take my son in I will. I will not leave my children unattended. That makes me a bad mother? I dont think so! I am teaching my children to be safe in a very unsafe world. We stick together.

well put!
hello to another clevelander we might pass you on our way out of WDW

 

[UrsulasMyHero]

I think we've gone a bit OT here. The Yelling and taunting is uncalled for. Yes, lil kids get brought into restrooms and changing rooms, it happens, but that's not what this was about. This post was about how a child was handled... to quote Rodney King... "Can't we all just get along?"

 

[tazdeb]

Devotedchristian; If you read one of my above posts you will read where I think that its tragic. However, as the poster above states, will we be bringing our sons in the women changing room when they're 35? The fact is millions of boys go into mens changing rooms alone everyday and nothing happens. I know if it happens one time it is too many but you cant protect your sons from every possible danger. Sooner or later you have to let them go alone. I think by the time they are 6 they should be old enough to go alone while you wait outside. I dont know why your sons welfare in a WOMENS bathroom is more important than my daughters who belong there. I know there will always be young boys in the ladies room. And why I try to be accommodating I'm also trying to teach my daughters values about themselves and their bodies. They know its wrong to go into a mens room. Most fathers dont take their 6year old daughters into mens rooms. Why? Because there are naked men in there.(Also because most men are pigs when it comes to cleanliness). Why is it ok to take older boys where there are naked women? I think the above poster who mentioned that she made sure it was ok to bring her son in FIRST has the right idea. I'm just sick of the "protect my son at all cost" mothers who just barge in with no reguard to the little girls in there with the attitude of it you dont like it too bad.