How would you react if this was your ds?

[rt2dz]

Many states have laws that say it is illegal to leave a child under the age of 10 alone for even 5 minutes, no longer than 15 minutes for children under 12. Therefore, sending your child into a restroom alone at 9, or God forbid 6, or making them wait outside (where everyone in the world can get to your child) while you're in the restroom, you are breaking the law, could loose your children & go to jail. Not a risk I'm willing to take--not on my child's safety, or my or any of my children's well being.

Most small children don't develop the skills to dress themselves completely until the age of 6 (small buttons), so asking them to do so at age 4 or 5 is physically impossible and must do a huge number on their self-esteem if they have a parent who is pushing them do something they can't. Would make a 4 month old baby sit up or a 7 month old child start walking? There are some who could do it, but it is an extereme exception.

Most states are also encouraging you to not send your child to kindergarten before the age of 6 due to lack of maturity--they're finding there is better results for most children at that age.

If having a little boy (and trust me 8 is still very little) in a women's dressing room or bathroom bothers you that much, write your state lawmakers and ask them to pass laws requiring a family restroom be provided. I'm sure all of us with little boys would be more than happy to sign your petition--it is the first place we go if DH isn't with us. And our sons prefer it too.

And no matter how well you perpare a child, they can't always defend themselves. They lack a fundamental maturity. There is fear which can paralyze you. You can be attacked from behind (as is the case with the little boy in the bathroom). Why do you think so many people are attacked/victimized? Even adults. That's kind of putting the blame on the victim there, isn't it?

tazdeb: I hope you have at least one more child, a boy. Maybe then you can see and understand the other side without being so egocentric.

But ON TOPIC: The problem isn't that the OP's son was in there, it was he was in there WITHOUT his mother. And I stand by the fact that the other mother had a right to be upset because of that. I DO NOT believe she had the right to hurt her son by touching him in a rough manner. And I admit the first time I read the post, I did not read it has "forcefully" pulling her son out by the arm, but "leading" him out just to remove him, so my gut reaction didn't concentrate on that. Touching someone else's child in that manner is wrong, but it is too late to do anything about it now.

 

[ZPT1022]

fact that the other boys were egging him on ("giggle" giggle" some other poster speculated) shows me it wasn't innocent. Boys that age know the difference

See, I beg to differ. Just because they were egging him on doesn't mean that there was necessarily a sexual subtext. Maybe they knew it was somewhere they shouldn't be without parents, so it was more of a "giggle giggle, let's sneak into the neighbors yard, hop the fence" kind of thing. not necessarily to peek at naked girls but because they know it's somewhere they shouldn't go without parents. Not everything is maliciously intended. And to OP, congrats on holding your temper. If someone I didn't know was grabbing my child I'd have calmly left my child with someone I trust and dragged her somewhere and shouted at her. She could very easily have walked him out to find you and said "Your son was sneaking around the girls locker room" And you could have handled it. Just my $.02 Stop beating yourself up over it though. I'm sure he'll grow up just fine

 

[tazdeb]

There is a law in Chicago that states it is against the law to fly a kite. I've never seen anybody flying one get sent to the slammer.There are plenty of laws designed to control people who loose there common sense. Nobody is going to arrest you for leaving your child alone for 5 min while you go to the bathroom. Don't insult our intelegence. I also may be egocentric but I dont need to have a son to want to protect my daughters. You dont have problem with that do you? I've stated many times that I see the need for mothers to bring their small sons into the ladies room. But lately I seen the age of the boys escalate dramaticaly. It is no longer 5 and 6 year olds, but as you say 7 and 8 year olds. Also mothers on this board of 9 year olds say they take their sons in there. These children are in 4th grade! What age will you stop? According to your laws 12? That boy will be in 7th grade. I think its crazy that you are so paranoid that you wont let a first grader or older go into a bathroom alone. I'm trying to teach my daughters there are some places they dont belong or need to see and also places boys don't belong and need to see and then here they come into the ladies room. I guess my real complaint is the attitude that a lot of mothers of boys have, that it is their right to bring whatever age they deem fit into the ladies room. I maintain it is a PRIVLIDGE. They should show some common sense.

 

[Mom to Will and Finn]

Nobody is going to arrest you for leaving your child alone for 5 min while you go to the bathroom. .

You mean you'd leave your six year old child outside of a public restroom while you're inside for five minutes?

 

[Marseeya]

You mean you'd leave your six year old child outside of a public restroom while you're inside for five minutes?

That's the impression I'm getting. Since it's okay to leave boys alone in public for that long, I assume she thinks it's hunky dory to leave her girls alone like that too.

 

[Mom to Jordan]

I can not image that any parent would leave a 5 or 6 year old outside a public bathroom for even ONE minute. It's sad but thats the kind of world we live it. That's also why DS went with me even longer. I might have been ok at 7 or8 for him to go to the men's restroom in some places while I stood right outside, but I did not want him standing outside alone waiting while I went. The first place I ever let DS go alone was our small local library at about 7 or 8. I really felt ok about it. Just recenty in a near by town a 8 year old was molested in the public library. Mom was a few shelves away. Scary. I am sorry but I just can not equate a child being embarrassed (boy or girl) to a child (boy or girl) being molested, kid napped or worse. The locker room at our gym is large, comfussing and easy to get turned around in. The shower water is HOT and hard to regulate (My DN must rinse off as soon as he comes out of the water due to a skin condition), the hair dryers are too high for a child and the floors become slick when wet. It is not a place for a child under at least 8 to be alone. DS 12 takes DN with him to the guys now but they always went with us until I felt DS could handle the situation. There are changing stalls, shower stalls, tolet stalls, and lots of corners so no one has to be un modest unless they choose so. We would come directy from the pool, to a shower stall (with a dressing area), got everyone ready and headed directy out. That is understood and accepted by all. It mean compromise for everyone,(if anyone was dressing out in the main area, we skiped the hair drying), and many people learned when lots of little boys would be there (after swim class), and were fine to use stalls. It's taking care of everyone, but always putting SAFETY, not just boys first. I have so many time had little girls(6-7) need my help in the locker room. Dad was waiting outside and they just could not manage everything on thier own. In this day however, I will not touch someone else child. I have gone out and let some dads know the problem and given him an all clear to enter the women's and help his child. And BTW I have seen at least twice a dad take a girl into the womens room. It kind of shocked me but it really was not a big deal. Better that leaving a child outside the bathroom.

Jordan's mom

 

[rt2dz]

I also may be egocentric but I dont need to have a son to want to protect my daughters. You dont have problem with that do you?

Perhaps you've missed the fact that I do think that the mother of the little girl had every right to be upset--multiple times?? How on earth are you protecting your daughters from little boys going into the restrooms with their mothers? What exactly are they doing? Should boys be put in danger because you somehow think they are less worthy of boys? I don't think that is exactly what you mean, but it IS what you are saying. My boys will continue to an age I feel is appropriate to accompany me into a restroom.

And "my laws". Try the state of ILLINIOS (since you stated Chicago) laws! I don't live in IL, I live in yet another state where there is the same laws. And I do know of many people who HAVE lost their children to foster care/have to under go parenting classes, or worse whose children have been killed or kidnapped for leaving children unattended. I know people who work in social services, both here and in IL, that have been called for that reason. It's not unusual. Leaving a child alone, unattended, putting him in danger is loosing your common sense, I agree. But somehow you support that loss of common sense. I hear people shouting all over these boards about how you need to teach your children to follow the rules and not "cheat" (which I agree with 100%), but then here you are again, saying only if you agree with the rules. Which laws should we follow and which ones should we ignore? Is it OK to run stop signs if we're in a hurry? Or travel down a subdivision street with small children playing at 65 mph? If we feel the prices at a restruant are too high should we just not pay? Should we tell our 12 year olds to say they're 11 so they can order off the children's menu? Should we tell Disney we only have 4 people in a room when there really is 6? Heck, car seats can be inconvientent, should we just toss those too? Tell me, I'm curious, where do we draw the line? You seem to know.

Last year a town near here made national news because of some coliation that was offended at a statue of David was in this strip mall. They said it was indecent. My response then, because, yes, I was interviewed over it--was it was a famous piece of art that will be studied in school. Parents can use it as a teaching tool of what is appropriate when and where. But personally, I'm not so over-sexed I'm going to go hog wild when I see or too much of a prude that I can't handle it either.

And by the way, 12 years old isn't 7th grade. It's 5th or 6th for most kids that age. And 4th for those who failed a year. A 12 year old in 7th grade is pretty advanced. Even in IL, who is a state pushing for 6 years before starting kindergarten, meaning they're 7 by the time they finish in many cases.

 

[tazdeb]

You know "many" friends who have lost the children to DCFS inquiries? Wow, what a great crowd you hang with. What am I protecting? When you change with your 8 year old son in the stall do you get naked in front of him? No,he stands outside the stall and looks around ,sometimes he watches my daughters. Ive caught these older boys looking through the cracks. At our pool it is a communal changing area. Unfortunetly, due to careless mothers I've seen my share of naked young boys in the bathroom that I have to explain to my daughters. We've been to pool parties where 2nd grade boy classmates are changing with them in the Ladies room. Then, in class the boys are snickering about it. Yes when my DH takes the girls out he goes into the mens room while they wait outside ( with walkie/talkies). Hopefully it is not longer than 5 min. I dont know why my request that mothers of boys treat the ladies room and its inhabitants with respect has generated such hostility. All I've asked is for a little courtesy and all I've gotten is a I dont care about YOUR GIRLS or any other little girls as long as MY BOYS are safe. If the water is too hot, the dryers to high etc...Why dont you ask to use the mens room with your son? Because then you might be embarassed like my daughters? You know I sort of agree with your logic, next time we go to the pool I'll ask my 17 year old nephew to come into the ladies changing room because I dont think its safe for him to go alone. I'll have him stand within eye sight of everyone but he wont look because he's "innocent". Think that is far fetched? So do I with 8 and 9 year olds. Boy's of that age know the difference, if they cant change themselves, or you dont trust them alone, or dont feel safe letting them go alone......change in the car or at home.

 

[disneymom3]

And by the way, 12 years old isn't 7th grade. It's 5th or 6th for most kids that age. And 4th for those who failed a year. A 12 year old in 7th grade is pretty advanced. Even in IL, who is a state pushing for 6 years before starting kindergarten, meaning they're 7 by the time they finish in many cases.

Okay, this is OT, but do you actually KNOW 12 yo's who are in 4th grade?? I can't even imagine that! I was in 7th grade at 12, DD will be, DS will be until he turns 13 toward the end of the year. Our neighbors child is 12 now and is in 7th grade. Heck, there have been threads on here about 12 year olds dating for heaven's sake! (Which mine won't be doing, but nor will they be accompanying their parent to the opposite sex bathroom.)

 

[bcarson]

tazdeb you have gotten so far off base. As for the statement about knowing people that have had DCFS inquiries. I think its clear the poster said I know people not neccessairly friends. I work in social service and I probably "know" people like that to but there certainly not my friends. Let me tell you if I saw your 5-6 year old girls standing outside a public unattended I wouldn't hesitate to point it out to a security guard, police men, worker whoever because I think it is dangerous period. No matter what sex your children is they should not be left alone. Like I said I work in social service, have worked in child welfare and with sexually abused kids and I could tell you stories that would make your hair stand on end. It'snot a pretty world but we certainly can not bury our heads in the sand, so we have to make it work for everyone. My son is 6 and delayed for his age due to medical issues and he will not go to a bathroom by himself if I am not comfortable with it. But we will be modest about it.

 

[Aidensmom]

Hi, I am one of those mothers who needs to be condemned for the sole purpose of having a son that I feell the need to protect. Let me answer a few of your questions....

You know "many" friends who have lost the children to DCFS inquiries? Wow, what a great crowd you hang with.

I, personally, believe that there are some times a child needs to be spanked. The Bible says "spare the rod, spoil the child..." I, myself, was a victim of abuse as a child, but believe me, the "abuse" was not just normal spankings. I do not agree with spanking a child for every little thing, but there are rare occasions when it is called for. These days, it is considered abuse (at least in the state I live in). According to God, I am a good parent for spanking my child when neccessary, but DCFS would beg to differ.

all I've gotten is a I dont care about YOUR GIRLS or any other little girls as long as MY BOYS are safe. If the water is too hot, the dryers to high etc...Why dont you ask to use the mens room with your son? Because then you might be embarassed like my daughters?

No one said they don't care about your girls. My son has been taught to respect everyone, and when we go somewhere to go the the bathroom and change, we go into a stall, do what we need to do, and leave, we do not do anything to embarass anyone else.

However, we do also care about our boys. Perhaps where you live, you feel pretty safe, but where I live, there are over 50 sexual offenders within 5 miles of my home (I can pull up their pictures and descriptions of their crimes on the internet), and those are only the ones that have been caught. Within that 5 mile radius there are some pretty major public places including the University of South Florida, Busch Gardens, a major mall, a museum, and a ton of restaurants. Am I going to let my son go in a public bathroom in any of those places? Heck no!!! Have I ever gone into a mens room with my son, yes I have by accident. None of those men had an issue with it, which is even scarier...

You know I sort of agree with your logic, next time we go to the pool I'll ask my 17 year old nephew to come into the ladies changing room because I dont think its safe for him to go alone. I'll have him stand within eye sight of everyone but he wont look because he's "innocent". Think that is far fetched? So do I with 8 and 9 year olds.

And you accused someone of insulting YOUR intelligence....

The OP was talking about a 6 year old boy. If a 6 year old boy has anything sexual on their mind, I would congratulate you on finding this rare species. If there was any laughing going on (which, by the way, was not posted by the OP, this was a SPECULATION from a different poster), it was most likely because a "boy" went into a "girls" restroom and he is not a girl, nothing to read into here. We have taught my DS that he can play with or do anything he wants rather or not he is a girl or a boy, and he comes home from preschool almost daily telling me (in a very upset tone) that someone in his class told him he can not play with a certain toy or enjoy a certain movie because it is only for girls. The problem is parents teach kids at a VERY young age that girls are so very different than boys, so they go on to just naturally find doing something for "girls" is forbidden. I can pretty much guarantee you that is the case here. A 6 year old, unless his parents are exposing him to porn, is not going to be ogling the opposite sex.

And may I state the most obvious thing that I have not seen anyone else say.... In the case where mothers are accompanying their sons to the women's restroom or changing room, if they were to be ogling someone, YOU THINK WE WOULD JUST LET THEM?! Like the first thing out of my mouth would be, "Oh, yeah, she is hot"? Please!

If they cant change themselves, or you dont trust them alone, or dont feel safe letting them go alone......change in the car or at home.

Just want to point out the double standard....if it is such a horrible thing for a girl to have to change in front of a 6-year old boy, why is it perfectly acceptable for a boy to change in a car in front of the whole world?

I, personally, have changed my son in the car at the age he is now, but at age 6 I am not too sure that this would be possible in my Cavalier, it is not exactly roomy! I have seen plenty of people changing their 6 year old sons at Busch Gardens in the women's restroom (there is a childrens water play area there), and it doesn't bother me at all. However, if I saw them sending them into the mens room alone to do so, I would have a hard time not worrying about the child.

 

[phamton]

Many states have laws that say it is illegal to leave a child under the age of 10 alone for even 5 minutes, no longer than 15 minutes for children under 12. Therefore, sending your child into a restroom alone at 9, or God forbid 6, or making them wait outside (where everyone in the world can get to your child) while you're in the restroom, you are breaking the law, could loose your children & go to jail.

Maryland and Illinois are the only states that have laws specifying the age that children can be left home alone, according to the National Child Care Information Center. Maryland and Illinois state age 8 years old for no longer than 2 hours. The other 48 states which includes Texas maintain only guidelines not laws.
http://www.nccic.org/poptopics/homealone.html

Also you mentioned 12 year olds being in 4th or 5th grade. I taught elementary school for 20 years in Texas up until 2004. Most kids who are 12 years old are in 6th or 7th grade which is middle school in most school districts.

I don't have a problem with a mother bringing her son into the women's restroom. The one exception would be a party where their peers from school are also there. It would be very embarrassing for any girl to run into a male classmate while she was changing clothes. Even in first grade, you should hear the girls scream if a boy accidentally walks into the wrong restroom.

 

[DisneyDotty]

Maryland and Illinois are the only states that have laws specifying the age that children can be left home alone, according to the National Child Care Information Center. Maryland and Illinois state age 8 years old for no longer than 2 hours. The other 48 states which includes Texas maintain only guidelines not laws.
http://www.nccic.org/poptopics/homealone.html

Hey, thanks for this information. I always wondered what the laws were regarding leaving children home alone...

 

[SammieG]

my nearly 6 year old is tall for his age.(he looks 8) . but very young emotionally.

At 5-6 some boys still need help getting dressed. Quite often my son cant do his trousers up again. (this isnt specific to my child either, this is quite common with boys!)

My nearly 6 year old is still a baby.. why on earth would ANYONE object to him coming into the dressing room at a swimming pool.

Guess what.. He's NOT INTERESTED in looking at you!! You think I would send him alone into a Mens changing room? NO WAY! absolutely NO WAY... he couldnt get himself dried and dressed again afterwards.. lets face it.. he couldnt even find his locker by himself.

I love the USA, and we love the Americans, but we do find the extreme prudishness (probably not a proper word, I know!) of some Americans - rather tiresome.

Yes, modesty is all very well.. but with young children is there REALLY a need? Goodness, in Europe they would all strip off on the beach in front of everyone! (i know this would give some Americans a heart attack! )

They have to grow up quick enough in this world today, lets not make them into little adults aged 4...

 

[rt2dz]

Okay, this is OT, but do you actually KNOW 12 yo's who are in 4th grade?? I can't even imagine that! I was in 7th grade at 12, DD will be, DS will be until he turns 13 toward the end of the year. Our neighbors child is 12 now and is in 7th grade. Heck, there have been threads on here about 12 year olds dating for heaven's sake! (Which mine won't be doing, but nor will they be accompanying their parent to the opposite sex bathroom.)

If states are pushing for children to start kindergarten at 6, it's 1st grade at 7, 2nd grade at 8, 3rd grade at 9, 4th grade at 10 (ending at 11), etc, etc. If a child fails, they will be a year behind. So, yeah, it is VERY possible in the next few years (as this does tend to be a trend that has only been popping up the last 3-4 years) it is very possible a 12 year old will be in 4th grade. But like I said, most will be in 5th or 6th not 7th or 8th. Which was my point.

You know "many" friends who have lost the children to DCFS inquiries?

You really need to start reading much more carefully. I said due to many friends who work in social work (and I'm also a child advocate volunteer), I KNOW OF many people who have had CPS called on them. I did not say they were my friends. My friends would never risk their child's life. I think a 270 lb. man could quickly overcome a little girl and take her walkie talkie. I don't know. I live in a large town just outside the 4th largest city in the country. Before that I lived in the 3rd largest city. We are very active people. We go to the zoo, Sea World, Museums, Large movie theaters that fit over 5,000 people per theater, our mall has over 200,000 people visit it a weekend...Maybe I just feel a need to protect my child from strangers. Maybe you know everyone in your town so that need isn't there. I don't know.

All I've asked is for a little courtesy and all I've gotten is a I dont care about YOUR GIRLS or any other little girls as long as MY BOYS are safe.

NOBODY has said that. What has been said is that little boys need to be protected and won't be thrown away at the expense of little girls. I personally have said at least 4 times, most likely more, that a boy should not be in a women's restroom/changing area ALONE. I do not agree with what the OPs son did. But accompanied should be just fine. I don't leave my boys out staring at girls. First of all, we go for the family area whenever possible--which being in such a large area is more often than not. And when it isn't possible, yes, they DO go into the stall with me. At a certain age, I ask them to turn around while I use the restroom/change. My boys are very respectful. And if they had classmates in their, my boys would just have to wait longer to change.

next time we go to the pool I'll ask my 17 year old nephew to come into the ladies changing room because I dont think its safe for him to go alone. I'll have him stand within eye sight of everyone but he wont look because he's "innocent".

Ah, yeah. Don't you think there is a HUGE difference between a little boy and a 17 year old who's gone through puberty? A difference between someone who is full grown and a child who is half the size, maybe less, than an adult (woman)? You're stretching too far to try and make a point. Maybe it is because you're reading more into what is said. No one is being hostile to you, we're trying to get you to see the other side of WHY we bring LITTLE boys into the restroom ESCORTED. And I would take my boys into a mens room if I had too without a second thought. But for the most part, I believe the child should accompany the adult--again, it's a puberty thing. According to my DH, men DO bring their daughters into restrooms all the time--quickly escorting them to a stall.

Boy's of that age know the difference, if they cant change themselves, or you dont trust them alone, or dont feel safe letting them go alone......change in the car or at home.

And what is wrong with little boys knowing they have a ***** and girls don't? It's not sexual. It's biological. Don't your girls know they don't have one? Come on, I'm a pretty modest person, but that is just going overboard if you don't teach your children facts of life. How are they going to protect themselves from being wronged if they don't know it is wrong? Even kids in small towns get molested. And as far as boys looking for through the cracks, I've seen little girls doing that too, stalls that aren't their friends, parents, siblings--I've had them do that to me. So I don't really think that's sexual either.

phamton: Maybe the laws are more regional due to problems that state wide though. Because I know where I live in Texas, it's a law. I also know where I used to live in IL & where my sister lives it is also a law. It might be like a minimum wage thing, federal law says it is one thing, but states have the right to raise it. I don't know. Having friends in social work, I know they are called out on it. Having worked in the hospitatlity industry, I know lots of people who have had to call the police on unattended children. And like I said about starting kindergarten later, it's a trend that has only been going on for the last few years. You aren't likely to have encountered the older ages that far up the ladder yet. It's been a mix among about current 3rd graders on down, and it's being pushed to make it more and more forced at the older ages. I was just recently at a school board meeting for my district fighting to keep the ages down. The way they want to move it, my youngest would be starting kindergarten days before he turned 7. One of my sisters has been having the same problem with her school district in TX. And these are some of the top rated school districts in the state.

AGAIN--I don't feel boys should be unescorted into a women's restroom, but a little boy brought in there by his mother shouldn't cause such horror. I don't think naked little girls should be ogled by little boys. I DO believe it is a mother's responsiblity to teach all children to be respectful. As for the rest of this thread, I'm done. This shouldn't be such a debate. Every time a child does come to harm, you always hear the parent saying, I only left him/her for a couple of minutes. Predators like an easy target. Every parent has the right--No, OBLIGATION--to protect their children.

 

[tazdeb]

Since this thread has gotten to the 114 post point and since I have repeated my point over and over this will be my LAST POST on the subject....... Again as I stated above I dont begrudge your childrens saftey. But let me tell you something that has happened to my daughters in the context of the original topic. First of all if we can go back to that post........The boy was 6. That would put him in kindergarden, 1st grade or if he was Doogie Howser M.D. college. At any rate he is in school. In school he learns there are girls bathrooms where he should not go and boys room where girls should not go. We also tell our children that no one should see them naked or touch them etc... Now this boy is dared to go into the girls changing room. Why? Is it the curiosity factor? He was just in there with his mother so I doubt that could be it..... I say the reason was to peek on his female classmates. What makes me think this (besides that it has happened to my daughters)? The reaction by the lady in the bathroom. In these lawsuit happy days why would a stranger grab a young boy by the arm and drag him out of the changing room? AND THIS IS THE POINT WE ALL AGREE.... NO ONE SHOULD TOUCH OUR CHILDREN. If I came out of a stall and saw a boy standing there alone I would assume he was waiting for his mother to change. I wouldn't grab him by the arm. Perhaps he was just in there giggling. Perhaps he was just splashing water in the sink. All of these could have been taken care of with a verbal warning. If she yelled at him, Im sure he would have run out. But something incensed this lady so much she felt the need to grab him by the arm and take him outside. Perhaps he was peeking under the stall at her daughter changing. Even worse, perhaps the boy was mooning her daughter. What if the unthinkable happened and he was exposing himself. Would that warrant grabbing him by the arm if you were the mother? But I degress....I think he was just peeking (which is bad enough).This is what forced her to do the thing she did. She also told him to tell his mother what he had done......Now, the OP was mad enough to go on a web site and post her complaint. But was she upset that a little girl was possibly humiliated? Was she mad that a little girl might be scared by this incedent? Was she mad that her son was doing something he shouldn't... No she was mad someone touched her son....She had no remorse for the girls in the Womens changing room. She thinks her son is incapable of doing something sexualy indecent (peeking at girls). That is the attittude that I say is wrong and as the age of the boys increasses so does chance of this behavior . Most boys above the age of 6 know there is a difference between them and girls. We also tell them not to look,"dont look". Then we take them into ladies rooms and what's the first thing they do? They look. It is human nature. It may be subtle by some, it may be flaggrant by others, but all boys are peeking. As they walk in a communal area, when they are waiting right outside your stall they are peeking.....Now maybe 99% of the time this is innocent, but there is still 1% my daughters have to deal with. They have to deal with the same sexual indecency you are trying to save your sons from. There is a boy in my girls soccer club we call the "peeper". He is 8 years old and why at an indoor soccer club with 200 boys going in and out their bathroom she does not feel safe and has to take him into ours no one knows but she does. This boy acts like he owns the place when he's in there, and she is in there WITH HIM. He looks in between the cracks of the doors of the stalls, sometimes under etc....Other mothers have talked to his mother about his actions and like on this board are poo pooed with "OH hes only 8, he's so innocent" And as a poster stated above it is not against the law to take your son into rest rooms so management cant/wont do anything about him. As a result, I have to worry about my daughters going into THIER restroom safely. This is only the most blatant offender, there is much more subtle peeking that I have witnessed. Againit's only human nature. When it happens at age 3, 4, or 5, I fluff it off. When it is ages 5, 6 or 7, I think its wrong. If its ages 8, 9, or 10 its creepy. At age 12 (like some poster stated they take into restrooms) is criminal. I think most mothers of boys don't even suspect that their boys above the age of 6 could be interested in peeking at the opposite sex. I'm here to tell you I've seen it. I'm no prude, but my daughters should not have to deal with it. Please have some common courtesy when bringing them into the ladies room. Especially if they are older. If you just turn a blind eye and think 'MY" son could not be doing it, "he's too innocent", then you are not doing a good job of parenting. You are protecting him from harm from someone else while enabling him to harm someone else......I'll see you in the changing rooms. Ps. I apologize to the OP who I'm sure's son did nothing inappropriate. It's just that I've seen the above senario happen and wanted to make my point.

 

[SammieG]

I think we all have a good idea of what our OWN children would and wouldnt do! Please do not think that we dont!

My son is young... mostly given a choice he would rather go to the mens rooms, but there are plenty of times he is just with me and there is no choice.

Once I HAD to send him to the mens rooms in an emergency (we were sent to the wrong rest rooms, and my son was desperate!) This was in a shop in Central London. I was terrified... I would NEVER do that again if I had a choice.

You being a little embarrassed that a FIVE year old is in the ladies changing room is preferable to comprimising my sons safety.

That is the bottom line...

 

[SammieG]

I think we all have a good idea of what our OWN children would and wouldnt do! Please do not think that we dont!

My son is young... mostly given a choice he would rather go to the mens rooms, but there are plenty of times he is just with me and there is no choice.

Once I HAD to send him to the mens rooms in an emergency (we were sent to the wrong rest rooms, and my son was desperate!) This was in a shop in Central London. I was terrified... I would NEVER do that again if I had a choice.

You being a little embarrassed that a FIVE year old is in the ladies changing room is preferable to compromising my sons safety.

That is the bottom line...

 

[txgirl]

I think we all have a good idea of what our OWN children would and wouldnt do! Please do not think that we dont!
:

This is off the subject of the original post, but you have proven tazdeb's point very well. Your child may be raised by you and taught by you, but they are greatly influenced by their surroundings and also by the individual person that they are! My children are wonderful, beautiful, smart, funny, well-rounded little people-BUT I know they are capable of things that I would never dream of them doing. I am at least realistic enough to know that thoughts cross the mind of my children that I would rather them not think of and there could be and will probably be a time when they may act on those thoughts.

Do I think boys in the dressing room with their mothers is perverted and wrong?
NO

Do I think that posters who have stated, "I don't care who I piss off" or those who have said, " I don't care about your modesty" are being considerate?
NO

Where some have said they understand your concern for their safety (me), but please exhibit consideration-OTHERS have shown little or no regard for trying to teach modesty and often been critical of being modest at all. There is a huge difference between being ashamed of your body and teaching that your naked body is a private thing. It is actually a private thing. This is why it is not legal to walk the streets like a jaybird. I am NOT addressing changing in the restrooms at this point. I am beginning to climb up on my soapbox! and address those posters who say that me wanting to be modest with my naked body or my girls is stupid


Not sure what country Sammie is from, but here in America modesty is dying a slow death so if you hang around long enough I am sure you could enjoy all body parts hanging out anywhere you go.

My girls have been taught this: parts that are covered by your underwear are private. Private from everyone but yourself. They were made by God and they have a wonderful purpose. Still-they are private. Do not undress in front of boys. Do not undress in front of your brother. Do not undress in front of your father. (they are getting older )

This thread has really gotten under my skin, not because of mothers needing to protect their sons. I have this same need and I plan on doing so under all circumstances, even if that means taking him with me but considering others at the same time. This thread is under my skin because of the attack on modesty. I have not only a right but an obligation to raise my daughters with an appreciation for modesty, decency and a lady-like demeaner. Call me old-fashioned? I will consider it a complement.

 

[beautybelle]

Has TazDeb really left the building.................thank goodness.................. I guess we'll be seeing her in the restrooms. LOL