How would you react if this was your ds?

[disneymama73]

Poor little guy - my son is 7 and I can imagine if this happened to him. What if he had just walked in there by accident? Would she have reacted the same way? How did she know he didn't? He was used to going in there with you so perhaps he didn't see it as such a big deal to walk in there by himself.

I think the other mom was completely in the wrong. I think if if I saw a boy come in the women's room I would just have asked if he needed help or was lost. The last thing I'd do is humiliate him in front of everyone.

I agree with you 100%.

 

[minkydog]

He's just a little boy for crying out loud.

Maybe we should just call the police and handcuff him. Oh, that was the OTHER thread.

I think you both over-reacted. Your son shouldn't have been in there unattended--an innocent mistake; now he knows that. This lady shouldn't have made a big deal out of it--can't do much about idiots. The only thing you have control over is your own response. You can join Mrs. Idiot in a tit-for-tat screaming match with police presence or you can let it go & chalk it up to experience. Since I don't have patience with stupid people I'd opt for #2 and move on.

 

[Mom to Will and Finn]

I would be furious. I would have quietly walked over to that woman, told her if she ever laid a hand on my child again, she'd be visited by the police, hugged my ds and told him he did nothing wrong. Then I'd try to forget about it so he could continue to have a good time at the party.

I don't know if it's different in different states, but when my son was attacked (hands around his neck, head slammed into a wall, and then pushed down onto a concrete slab) we were told by a police officer that it was "harrassment" and not "assault" because he didn't require medical treatment. I wish I had known that at the time or I would have taken him to a doctor - he did have a small red place on his head and a scrape on his arm.

I don't blame you at all for being upset. NO ONE puts their hands on my children!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

hugged my ds and told him he did nothing wrong.

You're kidding, right?!

Kids need to learn what personal accountability is. Acknowledge when they have done things wrong. Don't coddle the crap out of them.

 

[Mom to Will and Finn]

Ok, I re-read the post. I thought the boy had been told to go in there by his mother. However, I still do not think the woman had a right to put her hands on the child.

I stand by what I said, except I would have taken my son aside and told him he's never to go into a girl's locker room without me and caution him not to always do what other kids tell him to do. I still don't know if her child knew he was in the wrong, though. After all, he was just taken in there by his mom.

 

[melindaandrob]

I'm not sure I understand why a 6 year old needs his Mother's help to change to swim. My daughters and my son have been to co-ed swim parties (same age)at our local pool and I have never felt the need to assist them.
I do agree with you though, that Mother should not have handled the situation by grabbing your son.
Kudos to you for remaining calm and not becoming confontational.

 

[Mom to Will and Finn]

I'm not sure I understand why a 6 year old needs his Mother's help to change to swim. My daughters and my son have been to co-ed swim parties (same age)at our local pool and I have never felt the need to assist them.
I do agree with you though, that Mother should not have handled the situation by grabbing your son.
Kudos to you for remaining calm and not becoming confontational.

I think it was a matter of her not wanting her young son alone in a men's locker room. Of course, I guess, too, her son could be special needs.

 

[The Edgington's]

I think it was a matter of her not wanting her young son alone in a men's locker room. Of course, I guess, too, her son could be special needs.

He isn't special needs. I just am not comfortable letting him go into a mens locker room or restroom alone. There were other men changing in there that I did not know. It makes me nervous, I don't want to be paranoid but things can happen in there (or anywhere). My BIL is a local sheriff and the things he sees that happen to small children in similar situations is enough to make anyone sick. At the pool where we normally go there are individual stalls, like at the disney water parks it makes it a lot easier and isn't invasive to others.

 

[jeast]

I wouldn't let my 6 yr old son go into a public men's locker room to change alone, either. That is just careful parenting in this day and age. they are too young to handle any strange situations on their own.

You can call it overprotective if you want, but I won't let him become a statistic if I can do anything about it.

 

[kakiegirl]

IMHO It was totally unacceptable for that mother to grab your son by the arm and then to embarrass him in front of his friends. Yes, your son should not have went in the girls room by his self and yes he should have been reprimanded for it, however from what you have said she was way out of line. She should have came to you and quietly explained the siutation so you could talk to your son. Probably the best advice is to just let it go. I don't know the situation but if she is at parties and school functions and so forth where you son will be on a regular basis I myself would probably discuss the situation with her. I would Let her know I was sorry that my son embarrased her daughter and that I had talked with him but that grabbing him by the arm and embarrasing him in public is not acceptable to me. I have a feeling she would not appreciate her daughter being treated like that. But that is just me I would not be able to let it go until I had said something. I am a mamma lion when it comes to my dd they probably would have been calling the police to me for assault if someone was dragging my child by the arm.

 

[chrisn]

I agree 100% with your post on careful parenting. ANTYTHING could happen to your little one alone in a situation like that. There are freakin sick people in this world. Rapists, child molestors, killers, etc. I owe it to my child to protect him to the best of my ability and as both of my children are my most precious treasure and that is what I fully intend to do. Who cares if someone else is embarassed. You child's safety should be of your utmost concern.

 

[beautybelle]

Well I wouldve been upset by my son going into the room BUT at the point I see this woman with her hands on my son it wouldve turned VERY ugly. I could not and will not tolerate anyone putting hands on my son in anger and me within reaching distance. As the mom in the other post put it, I too am a tigress when it comes to my son.

 

[Stiff]

couple points:

to those who think the child did something wrong by going in the locker room....the OP said she JUST changed him in there....he was just in there....how can then know its wrong to go in there if it was already ok to be in there moments earlier

to the OP...I would not contact this woman now, I would let it drop at this point...however if you are both at another party together, id have my eye on her and if she ever brought it up Id give her an earful

I would see RED if someone handled my son like that....noone is to touch my boy like that....Im amazed you didnt fly off the handle at the party.

 

[DebMcDonald]

I would be mad and that's putting it mildly. I have three girls and I would never think anything about a child of the opposite sex being in the women's room getting changed. I also do daycare and I have a little boy, 4 who copies everything and anything that the children are doing good or bad, I think that's it normal at a young age to be convinenced to do something.

I would definately call the mother because your son should not have felt embarrased and explain the situation and I probably would also call the mother who did it to explain that she left a mark and reminding her that you NEVER touch someone else's child no matter the reason.

 

[txgirl]

Hi, my name is Kim and I am a recovering over-reactor.

Seriously, hear my side. Over the years I can say I am beginning to mellow but I can count too many times where I let my emotions affect my reaction when my children were involved.

Speaking for the arm-grabbin momma, I regret to say this, but admit to overreacting in the past in regard to my girls and the opposite sex. Either cousins peaking into rooms where my girls were dressing, or friends daring one of them to kiss the son of a family friend. All innocent and not really as big of a deal as I made of it.

Still in any situation you never really know the other persons history. Are her daughters extremely modest? (mine are) She shouldn't have grabbed his arm, but even if she would have let me out with a hand on the back and said what she did I have a feeling you would still be upset. I know I would. You already said you were at that party in ensure your sons's safety. You are obviously a caring mom and anytime someone comes waltzing in, exposing your child's naughty deed, we (all mothers in the world) get immediately into mother bear mode!

I haven't read all the posts, but I say take the high road and let it go.

 

[txgirl]

I know Im in the minority here. I just think its so funny when people are so modest.

I have had this discussion sooooo many times with my friends and they find it hysterical that I am modest and trying to raise very modest girls. I heard this quote and I think it sums it up (for me anyway ).

"When we flaunt the forbidden, we shouldn't be surprised when the scandalous happens"

While this does not address the OPs issue I do think it should apply to our young girls today.

 

[Mom to Jordan]

I am a "boy" mom and I can so see the scene outside that locker room. "Giggle Giggle" "lets peek at the girls". Giggle ,giggle. "Dare you". Yep naughty but totaly inocent and all that was needed was to redirect them back to thier moms.

There is NO way I would allow a six year old to go into a male locker room alone or without a adult or much older child. Not only is in not safe, wet floors are prime areas for falls,(yep those "naughty" little boys will run around in there ) Wet suit are really hard to get off and dry underwear is heck to put on wet little bodies. Socks get droped in wet puddles and shoes are left who knows where. Six is just two young for that kind of responcibility. Us boy moms are just as protective as those with little girls.

Jordan's mom

 

[devotedchristian]

Regardless of who is "right" or who is "wrong"

Bottom Line:

NO ONE lays a hand on your child. Period. End of discussion.

I know there is a saying "It takes a Village to raise a Child" but good grief.

If there had been bruises or marks left on his arm after what she did, it would have been YOUR responsibility to call 911 from your cell phone and file a formal report to the Police. I sure would. And that's not over Reacting, that's Protecting.

This is a form of child abuse. You do NOT yank and grab on a child's arm. How would I have handled the situation? I would have quietly and calmly walked up to her and said "Remove your hands from my child".

Then I would have said "let's talk, privately" and then said my peace woman to woman, calmly and with dignity...no screaming matches but my words would be sharp and cutting and would have stung the He!! out of her.

Humiliation tears (not build) down Self Esteem.

 

[tazdeb]

I know I will probably get flamed here but.....As a mother of 2 girls, ages 6 and 7 I must say I dont want 6 year old boys in the girls locker room. If you dont trust your 6 year boys alone in the boys room, and dont have a male person to take them, then either change in the car, at home or dont go. Why should we who are modest have to deal with anyone of the oposite sex in our locker room.My girls are responsible enough to change themselves and go in a locker room alone (with me right outside). I dont need to worry about boys being in there. I'm embarrassed when we have to change in front of people of the same sex and I think first grade boys are old enough to know that they are different from girls. They dont need an anatomy lesson from me or my daughters. As for all you other tigress' I believe some of you may be over protecting your children. If at the age of 6 they cant dress themselves without getting thier socks wet or thier suit off on thier own maybe they need more tome practicing that and less time swimming. JMHO

 

[jpmom97]

I would be very mad too. I would call and find out who the mother was and then call her and let her know you do not appreciate her touching your child and that he is 6 not 26 , alittle boy going into the girls locker room is no big deal. My son is 7 and I do not let him go into the men's bathroom alone or anywhere alone for that matter.