How would you react if this was your ds?

[DAWGPOUNDAJ]

I haven't had a chance to read any of hte other responses so forgive me if this is off the discussion topic now...

You sound like a great mom to be concerned about this even afterwards. We all wind up in situations where we wish we had reacted differently, after the fact. That sounds like what's going on with you, even though you were trying to be nice by not saying anything at the time.

Your son obviously is very young, and she should not have over-reacted. Honestly that happened to me while I was in the girls bathroom and I have laughed at the circumstances b/c it's quite funny to see a little boy run in, go ashen face when he's caught by 10 pairs of girls looking at him going "EEK! BOY!" and then generally they turn and run out (At least this boy did and I was in hysterics later on from it. The poor kid must have been more humiliated than anything!) Anyways, this woman might have grabbed him right away without even giving him a chance to leave! To me that's a bit of violent treatment for a child. I don't think your over-reacting. Heck, I would be worrying how that mother treats her own children at home, and be concerned for them.

I'd call the mother if you can locate her, and let her know what you think. Obviously this "lovely" model of behavior will go on the defensive. Just let her have it. I know it sounds bad, but she deserves it. Some people need to be reminded what is acceptable behavior and what is not.

Also, if anyone EVER grabbed my little cousins (who I watch a lot, no kids yet) I would make sure they were so scared of me that they would never touch them again, let alone go near them. It might sound like over-reacting, but theres a difference between taking a child lightly by the arm or hand and guiding them, or picking up an irate, kicking, acting out child and re-locating them, and grabbing a kid violently by the arm and dragging them somewhere.

 

[PLUTO2]

I wouldn't let my 6 yr old son go into a public men's locker room to change alone, either. That is just careful parenting in this day and age. they are too young to handle any strange situations on their own.

I completely agree!!!!

 

[bettyann29]

Personally I think the lady overreacted, but I dont feel like your son should have been in there without adult supervision no matter what.. I didnt read all the posts since there are so many.. I just read the original and a few others and please forgive me for not remembering the original post completely, but do you know exactly what your son did?? was it him just going in the restroom or did he try to peek, etc?? Have you discussed with him that it was wrong for him to go in there without yourself in there?? I think that lady should have said something to him, but not grabbed him by the arm.. I think if you get the police involved, etc.. than you are the one who is overreacting.. If it was myself in the restroom and a boy came in I would have said something to him..

 

[Aidensmom]

With all the discussion on protecting our children, just had to post this. I am watching the local Tampa news on ABC right now which is doing a story on how people don't even realize how many sexual offenders they are surrounded by. They pointed out that the zip code with the highest number of sexual offenders in the entire Tampa Bay area (consisting of 4 counties) is the zip code that Busch Gardens is located in - there are 95!!!! in that zip code alone. None of us can be too careful with our children, male or female.

 

[SammieG]

This is off the subject of the original post, but you have proven tazdeb's point very well. Your child may be raised by you and taught by you, but they are greatly influenced by their surroundings and also by the individual person that they are! My children are wonderful, beautiful, smart, funny, well-rounded little people-BUT I know they are capable of things that I would never dream of them doing. I am at least realistic enough to know that thoughts cross the mind of my children that I would rather them not think of and there could be and will probably be a time when they may act on those thoughts.

Of course I know that there are some things that my son may do that I may not approve of, but I am shocked that you dont know your children well enough to know how they would react regarding anything vaguely sexual. I can assure you that my son has NO idea - and this is not me being blinkered.. I know other 5 year olds who are much more street wise than my son!
The trouble is my son looks 7 or 8 and he is just 5... so there might be people who might feel uncomfortable about him being in the changing room - actually not in the UK, I dont think anyone would mind at all!

I have to be honest with you, if I felt strongly about anyone seeing me naked (which actually I do) I would make sure that I changed in the cubicle and not in the main room. My son comes into the cubicle with me when we go swimming. (Actually you will all freak, as in England we have COMMUNAL CHANGING ROOMS! - YES< MEN AND WOMEN IN THE SAME ROOM!!!!!) But there are cubicles for each.... yes we could all change in the corridor but we dont, we all go into the cubicles and each get changed there. That solves the M/F with kids issue. I can take my son, or DH can take him.

However, the private gym/pool that I go to, does have M/F rooms. My son comes into the ladies, but changes in a cubicle with me.

I am all for modesty.. but I think that some folks are offended by a tiny naked body.. which seems strange to me. Yes, we live in a dangerous world, Yes there are perverts around.. but most people are good and honest and surely can cope with seeing a 5 year olds bare bottom!

 

[DisneyDotty]

(Actually you will all freak, as in England we have COMMUNAL CHANGING ROOMS! - YES< MEN AND WOMEN IN THE SAME ROOM!!!!!) But there are cubicles for each.... yes we could all change in the corridor but we dont, we all go into the cubicles and each get changed there. That solves the M/F with kids issue. I can take my son, or DH can take him.

No freaking here--you in England, as in much of Europe, have a more matter-of-fact, healthy attitude toward the human body.
Here in America we both shun it and flaunt it at the same time!