How to handle kids bringing friends

[AreWeThereYet]

Our two teenage DD's are begging us to allow them to bring friends with them to HHI DVC this summer.

If DW and I decide to give in and allow the friends to come we are not sure how to handle the extra expenses of activities, meals and so on.

What/how have any of you handled such situations?

DW is inclined to pay for everything while I am undecided.

Advice??

Warnings?

Thanks for the input.

 

[MI mom of 3]

When we have taken DD's friend with us we pay for her meals and any activities that all of the kids do. She pays for her Disney pass and any souveniers etc.

 

[PlaneJoy1]

This is tough one.... especially for your wallet!

I think you should pay for her meals and activities, anything you would normally do on a vacation. But the guests would be responsible for her own souveniers or anything "extra" the teens wanted to do.

 

[christinadei]

I would also have their parents give you money for passes, and maybe something for food, but I'd pay for some of the food. they should bring moeny for souvineers.

 

[princesslulu]

I think I would pay for all meals and lodging and ask that the friend's parents pay for tickets and souvieners. I don't think that that's alot to ask considering your paying for the biggest chunk. How are you getting there and is it going to be a big expense?

 

[AreWeThereYet]

How are you getting there and is it going to be a big expense?

For us, lodging is covered by DVC (woohoo), we are driving to (so no additional expense there). we would plan on covering all meals anyways (same as if they were staying with us at our house), sine the kids would be part of the family for the week.

Guess it's just a question of extra activities they might all want to do.

 

[A Mickeyfan]

We have them pay for their pass & any treats that they may want (ie: ice's, ice cream etc), because my own children pay for theirs as well with their spending money. As far as meals. I pay for dinner, we bring things for breakfast & lunch. If they want they can purchase their own breakfast & lunch. Sometime they do, sometimes they don't. We go often & usually take certian friends each time, thier parents know exactly what to send them with...

 

[DisneyBill]

Each of our kids have a friend joining them next week. We asked the guest's parents to send money for each child's individual treats and souveniers. We're covering everything else including airfare, HDDR, passes, food, Cirque, illuminations cruise. DVC membership takes care of resort accommodations. Glad to be able to do it, but it does hurt the wallet a good bit.

 

[goingbackagain]

When we bring my kids' friends, we pay for food, lodging, and activities. All of the friends have paid for the own tickets, souveniors, and they do bring a little extra because they will get some snacks on their own when walking around without us. If it's a meal and we aren't with them, I tell my DD to put the meal on her room key charge.

 

[mantaz]

I used to go with my best friend and her parents to WDW. Although they would get us an extra room at DVC, I paid for anything else such as food, passes and extras. I was just happy to be going and didn't think anything of it. Let me tell you, my best friend and I figured out how to save money by spliting meals. It's best to do it how you feel comfortable and if you can afford it. I know your DDs will love having somebody else to hang out with besides their parents. Good Luck and enjoy your trip!!

Angela

 

[DAWGPOUNDAJ]

I think it ultimately comes down to your budget, but whatever you decide make sure the friends coming along are well aware of what you are and are not paying for. Kids, and even teenagers, are NOT the best at budgeting amounts of money appropriately. Often they underestimate things vastly, and since everything is so expensive at Disney I am guessing that there would be a strong possibility of that happening. The last thing you want to happen is to decided to not pay for their friends, and while down there everyone but say one friend decides that they want to do some activity, and that one friend can't afford to do it b/c they ran out of money at the beginning of the week. That would put them in a horribly awkward position, your children, the other friend, and especially yourselves. Those are not the situations you want to wind up in on vacation.

Also, one major no no, and I'm not saying that you would do this, but if the friends come do not place any expenses on them unexpectedly. A lot of people feel it is acceptable to do that and I'm a firm believer against this practice. Partly because that happened to me when I was 15. At the time my now husbands family (my husband and I have been friends sine we were kids) took me with them on vacation when they went camping. I helped pay for gas and paid for all of my own food on my own accord. Basically the only thing they gave me was a spot to sleep and that was very nice of them. Halfway through the week however they informed me that I was taking all 7 people with us out to eat! I had only brought $200 of spending money so I spent a week hoping desperately I had enough money to cover dinner for that family. (I'm sorry to say it but the only one who eats not like a hog in that family is my husband.) Basically they were very pushy about it and I have never quite forgiven them for how they treated a 15 year old on vacation! It was too the point where I was eating very small meals for fear of not having enough money of paying for that meal at the end of the week, and I kept having to say that I simply was not that hungry. What a cruel thing to do to a child! So that was something they most definitely should have told me before hand. Not that I minded paying the $180, but I did mind that they waited until we were 12 hours from home to tell me that. What I minded even more was once I got back I found out that my parents had given them $500 to cover my expenses, and they STILL made me pay for their dinner. That $500 covered not only all of their gas for the trip one way but also the entire week of camping! So while that is an extreme case of rudeness, I just wanted to emphasize how a kid's time could be completely ruined if something unexpected, even something as little as an unexpected activity, comes up that they haven't budgeted for.

Now again, it comes down to your budget and the fact that you are even considering taking their friends with you all is incredibly nice. However, I'm of the mind where if you invite someone you pay for everything. If you have the means to do it I would pay for their food and activities. (Of course what activities do you mean? Some would fall under the superfulous category and I wouldn't pay for those.) The only thing you definitely should not be paying for is souvenirs. Activities are up in the air (depending on what it is) but if you can pay for theirs I would do that. I personally would rather just take my kids and spoil them while down there, than take the friends and ask them to pay for their own activities. Either way your children will have a good time and I'm sure they realize that they are asking a LOT to be requesting that their friends come to Disney as well. In the past my parents had permitted me to bring along friends, however, I never asked to bring someone along, they just simply told me to pick someone b/c it was in their budget to bring an extra person.

Your kids will understand no matter what you decide. Just keep in mind that different families will see an invitation differently. You might invite a kid from a family that will automatically assume everything is paid for. THen again, you might get a friend along who is trying to pay for your every meal out of gratitude. It is a toss up so talk to the kids parents in length if you decide to take them along.

 

[ajksmom]

Given your circumstances (DVC and driving which you'd be "paying" for anyway) I wouldn't expect them to help cover those. Perhaps you can come up with an amount that would help you offset other expenses, one that you know that either the kids or their parents would be able to afford and then have them bring their own spending money.
We take the kids friends all the time. We fly and therefore we have almost always asked them to cover their airfare. Beyond that, we have taken the families circumstances into account as to whether they help or outright pay for their tickets. We never look to be re-imbursed their share of the room or meals that we eat together. We expect them to bring spending $$, some money for meals if they will not be joining us all the time, and for any extras that they want to do. (ex. if they wanted to parasail and we wouldn't be doing that)
We make sure long before the trip that this is all "ironed" out so everyone has time to save up for what they are paying for.

 

[rt2dz]

Because of the age gaps of the kids in my family growing up, we were always allowed to bring friends. Generally, my parents covered lodging and transportation costs, which could be something to nothing depending on where we were vacationing and what an extra would require. My parents also paid for any family meals. Meals we had without our parents, our friends covered their own costs. Souveniers were covered by our friends. As far as things like admissions, I think that was decided on an individual basis when my parents sat down to discuss it with the friends parents. My parents were (are) fairly well-to-do and for those who weren't, I think they covered it; for those who also were, I think their parents covered it. It was always arranged one set of parents with my parents--the friends money was always given to my parents and my parents handed out either a certain amount every day or under certain circumstances.

 

[pezpam]

I think there's nothing wrong with offering to pay for everything **if** you're comfortable with that.

As a mom, if my child was invited on a trip to WDW with another family, I'd have no problem if the invitation came with an honest "We'd like DD to come with us, but she'd need to be responsible for X,Y, and Z", no matter what X, Y and Z were. That way, I could decide if the plan was ok with me - the farther ahead of time, the more time I'd have to plan if money was an issue. If you do this, it'd be nice if you could let them know what things will cost - ticket prices, a general idea of food options and costs, and a list of prices for 'extra' things like tours and parasailing and such. The parents and kids can sit down and figure out what the kids want to do and how much money it involves, then tweak plans as needed.

You may be surprised. Teens given a budget and planning time ahead of time may just compromise with each other to get the best out of their budget - or you may find they want to spend less time doing extras than you think.

 

[my3kids]

Since this is Hilton Head and not the parks, it probably isn't much of an issue. I think you pay for meals and whatever else you do. There just isn't that much you'll have to pay for outside of the food there....mini golf and such, but nothing like park entrance tickets.

But, I think if you invite a guest to WDW, the beach, or whatever, you pay for everything...tickets, food, hotel and anything else that comes up, aside from the kids going shopping and buying sweat shirts or such as a souvineer.

 

[all4fun]

You're getting great advice here but I just thought I would post this link as well from www.allearsnet.com. It's an article by Bob Sehlinger, entitled " Mom! Can Eddie Go to Walt Disney World With Us?

The Slippery Issue of Allowing Your Child to Invite A Friend on Your Family Vacation"

Even though I know you're going to HH, not WDW, I thought some of it might still be pertinent to you.