How To Get Out Of Babysitting???

[torinsmom]

You did the right thing. You don't owe your sister anything, including babysitting for 11 hours on a day you don't have to work. If you had said yes, guess who would have been expected to watch the THREE children next year, LOL.

I am lucky that my sister and I have kids similar ages (15,13,11) that get along really well. We trade off when one of us needs childcare.

Marsha

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

I'm sorry that this is the family that you have. I understand that they are difficult for you to deal with--it sounds like they enjoy creating drama and conflict.

It would do you well to minimize the affect they have on your life and your emotions--for your own sanity. You can't control them, only how you react, you know? I mean this in the nicest way possible--it might benefit you to talk to a therapist or someone who can help you to see that you aren't the problem, and there are ways to deal with family members like this. I don't think there's anything wrong with you, but you could use some coping skills.

Good luck through the holidays.

 

[DawnM]

this is the kind of crap I deal with with DH's family. Although we have been the outcast ones for about 10 years now.

It is so disfunctional.....

We go visit as little as possible.

Dawn

Also, I have been "outcasted" from my family in the past. 3 years ago I failed to buy my mother a birthday card. Cash was tight....I literally had less than $10.00 to my name, I went to her birthday dinner and brought a dish. I had no money left over...and did not buy my full grown mother a card or gift. She made a HUGE scene crying and yelling at me for being ungrateful. Anyhow, I was not welcomed at or invited to ANYTHING w/ my family for almost 18 months until my grandmother died unexpectedly. If we were at larger family functions where they had no control over me being invited, they ignored dh and I like the plague. My sister and her dh were more than happy to jump on that bandwagon.

They are crazy off their rockers. However, they are still the only family I have and I cried so much for me and my ds those 18 months. I was really hurt at being left out of EVERYTHING...and so was he. Should I care anymore----NO. But do I---- yes.

I'm sure my not calling her and not babysitting will turn into the same thing again. However, it is what it is. I am just too busy to care anymore. I love them all dearly, but it's time for them to love me back for me not for what I can do for them.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

 

[nutterbutter2010]

Family is great, isn't it?? Were always faced with stuff like this, especially around the holidays. Bite your tongue, be miserable, but keep the family peace, or speak up, and be the *****. Sometimes you have to be the *****. I think you'll be OK, you have your DH and child to celebrate with. Have a great Thanksgiving, and Christmas!

 

[OceanAnnie]

I love them all dearly, but it's time for them to love me back for me not for what I can do for them.

 

[C.Ann]

I love them all dearly, but it's time for them to love me back for me not for what I can do for them.

I think that should go in your signature..

 

[Darsa]

My goodness. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and a wonderful Christmas, m'dear. You deserve it.

 

[cocodog]

Let me guess... you are the middle child, and she is the oldest? (or maybe she's the youngest, but definitely you are the middle , right?)

So sorry... just reading this and hope you have been able to decline and enjoy your day. I also have a hard time with 'no'. I think it requires lots of practice!

Just read your update. I hate the situation they put you in-- families can sure be crazy. I think you did the right thing though. I am glad you have the support of your dh.

 

[kilee]

Let me guess... you are the middle child, and she is the oldest? (or maybe she's the youngest, but definitely you are the middle , right?)

I am actually the oldest, she's the youngest. There is just the 2 of us though...and she'll always be "the baby" of the family.

Tomorrow will be interesting, but as I sit here in my pajama's enjoying my peace and quiet I have NO REGRETS over not babysitting. If they all get bent out of shape tomorrow.....so be it.

 

[cheerful chickadee]

wow your family sounds just like mine! I'm the (self proclaimed) black sheep of my family. My mom has 3 daughters but treats the middle DD as if she's made of gold My oldest sister moved away (smart move), I'm here seemingly alone with this crazy family hoping to one day move away also. My sis uses me and my mom as her go-to babysitters, my mom never says no but if I do --I'm shunned for however long they remain mad. My sis has never babysat either of my children, she never offers and I never ask.

My sis and I are not speaking right now because of something similar to your story. My sis guilt tripped my my mom into babysitting her kids even though her DH was home from work that day. I spoke up and said her DH should do it instead of making my mom feel bad about saying no. I guess it's out of line to actually suggest the children's father "watch" his own kids when he has off from work that day. She and her husband decided to talk smack about me on FB so I said something back. Same story different day --I'm the bad guy, my sis and her DH did nothing wrong. Now my sis refuses to come to my mom's house when my family and I are there. My mom keeps pleading with ME to apologize to HER *scoffs* I will do no such thing. Sorry to go on and on, just wanted to let you know you're not alone!

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I don't like siblings. That's why DS is an only child.

I would have said NO, too!

Really, sometimes no family is better than toxic family. I consider my DH and DS to be my family. I love my mom, but she always chooses the younger ones in any situation where she needs to choose. She defends them with phrases like "They do the best they can." Please.

 

[LoraJ]

I am actually the oldest, she's the youngest. There is just the 2 of us though...and she'll always be "the baby" of the family.

Tomorrow will be interesting, but as I sit here in my pajama's enjoying my peace and quiet I have NO REGRETS over not babysitting. If they all get bent out of shape tomorrow.....so be it.

Awesome!!! Enjoy your day!!!

 

[EthansMom]

Tomorrow will be interesting, but as I sit here in my pajama's enjoying my peace and quiet I have NO REGRETS over not babysitting. If they all get bent out of shape tomorrow.....so be it.

Good for you!

 

[Bunchkin]

Hugs for you! I think you made the right decision.
I hope Thanksgiving goes well, or at least as well as can be expected.

My family is a real piece of work too. So I understand how hard it is to 'do the right thing'.