How old were your kids when you left them home alone while you were at work?

[traces7]

I'm starting to think about the summer already and where my DD will go while we're at work. She'll be 11 in May. I was going to let her try staying home on her own. But I read that in some places the legal age is 12 or 14. We don't really have a law in Wisconsin, but they recommend 12. Now I'm not sure what to do.

She'll go to summer school (they have fun classes) from mid June til mid July in the mornings. So I thought of letting her start by staying home in the afternoons then. Mid July til the end of August she'd be home all day.

We live in a small town, so there really are no options like summer camps or clubs, etc. like you hear of in the big city. Her old daycare only takes up to age 11. My other thought was to maybe hire a high school or college girl to come to our home. Last year DH was laid off all summer and he stayed home with her, worked out nicely.

So what do you do with your kids during the summer? And how old did you leave them home alone? (Also DH and I both work 25 miles away from home, that's another scary thing-takes about 35 minutes to get home).

Thanks for the advice!

 

[torinsmom]

There is no law here in NC--it is up to the parents. I didn't feel comfortable until my son was 13, but some kids may be more mature earlier. Does she have a friend she could stay with, or is there a camp she would like to attend for some weeks?

Marsha

 

[okeydokey]

Mu DD just turned 12 and she will be going to the day camp a couple of days of week (I work part time). I was thinking she would start staying home next summer when she is 13, with strict rules about no friends coming over when I am not home.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I don't think we have any real "laws" more like guidelines and I do believe here in MO it is 8yo to be left home alone.

It really depends on what you and your dd are comfortable with. Have you tried "test runs" yet?

I would do that to see how they handled things and then go from there.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Both of my kids took a staying home alone class offered by the Red Cross in New Hampshire the year they turned 8 (this was the minimum age for the class). After that they sometimes stayed alone (or alone but together) for a few hours at a time. I worked up from jsut quick runs to the grocery store (which still took an hour becuase we lived in a rural area) to, eventually full days. If she has not stayed home alone before, I would suggest you begin working up to it now.

I was staying home alone all day while my parents worked the summer I was 11.

I think it really depends on the kid. Is she comfortable with the idea? Do you trust her to entertain herself without getting into mischeif? Do you trust her to make herself simple lunshes and snacks?
If so, sit down and come up with a list of groundrules (can she go to a friend's house if invited? Go online? Invite a friend over? Use the oven?) together. Ask for her input. Also, being all by herslsef day after day can be lonely and boring. I suggest you commit to buying her some nice things to entertain herself with each week. Find sales between then and now and set out something new every Wednesday for example (midweek is a good time to have a new entertainment). Craft sets, new DVDs, etc.

 

[hanutedmansionmomma]

With both of mine, I started around 11 for small amounts of time (1 hour, shopping trips). A whole day sounds like a lot. I like the sitter idea, if even for a chunk of the day. And having a neighbor she can go to if needed. Could you set up play dates with friends for those weeks? Trip to stay w/ relatives?

I thought my younger one, responsible, cool headed, etc...would be ok one night when sister went out and DH and I went to xmas party a couple miles away. We got home to find out he'd opened the door to a stranger while we were gone!! Traveling fruit vendor, rang the doorbell several times, DS response, "well, I knew he was just going to keep ringing the doorbell." *yes, we talked about not opening the door for ANYONE before this, and even as we were leaving!!*

The kids get home an hour or 2 before me every day, and that's been fine. I do leave both kids home now when I have to work a day in summer, and I'll go home for lunch.

Ask her how she feels about it - my DS doesn't like to be home alone very long.

Good luck

 

[traces7]

Thanks for all the responses! We don't have any camps nearby that she could go to. I thought of looking around by where I work though. She does have friends, but most of their moms work also and they stay home alone.

She's pretty mature about some things, but still seems immature on some things to me. She does stay home alone an hour or two sometimes if we have to run errands and she does fine. She wants to stay home alone. And she is trustworthy. I think she might get bored though.

So, we'll see, I think I'm going to investigate more options! Thanks for the ideas!

 

[disfan07]

well..i started babysitting at 11 so im probably not the best to ask..lol
So basically, I was in charge of a 2 and a 4 year old when I was 11 for up to 7 hours at night. The people I was babysitting for lived about 30 minutes from where I lived so I mean I had my parents if I neeed them but they were still 30 mins away.

I would say that if she is mature enough, there is no reason NOT to try it at he beginning. BUT be prepared with a back up plan if after the first day or 2 she is realy not comfortable being alone.

Do you have neighbors or close friends who live nearby who will be home during the day if she needs something or if something happens?
Thats the only reason my mom had no problem leaving me home when I was 11-12 was because we had 4 neighbors who stayed at home and we always available.

 

[luvmy3]

Thanks for all the responses! We don't have any camps nearby that she could go to. I thought of looking around by where I work though. She does have friends, but most of their moms work also and they stay home alone.

She's pretty mature about some things, but still seems immature on some things to me. She does stay home alone an hour or two sometimes if we have to run errands and she does fine. She wants to stay home alone. And she is trustworthy. I think she might get bored though.

So, we'll see, I think I'm going to investigate more options! Thanks for the ideas!

Your town/city doesn't run a summer camp program?

I can only speak for myself, but I wouldn't leave my dd alone all day. She is okay for small amounts of time and I think she is mature enough to be able to handle being home alone most of the day, but I would worry myself sick about it and not be concentrate on anything else

 

[sacall]

When my oldest daughter outgrew the summer kids club (she was also 11, youngest was 9), I hired a very responsible high school student to watch them for two days over the summer. They go to my parents one day because I only work three days.

Now the girl I hired, we knew her family, straight A student, did Mission work in Africa for two summers - she was someone I could really trust. The first summer she worked for me, she was 16 and could drive. They did local things - movies, library, swimming etc. As she got older and the girls got older, they do things a little farther from home. In fact, she is coming back this summer to watch the girls.

Now, my oldest is 13 and going to be a Freshmanin High School next year, but they all want Nicole to come back because they have a great time with her. (Nicole is a Freshman in College this year). Plus, I think my kids would either be really bored or kill each other if I left them home alone for 9 hours for two days a week!
Stacy

 

[glitterkittyy]

My daughter is 13, but she stayed home by herself for small amounts of time at 10 and stayed home by herself while I worked at 11. Like the PP, we had her take a few classes (babysitter, first aid, emergency prep and a staying-at-home course). She did fine with it, but I think my younger daughter (who is approaching 10) wouldn't be okay to leave at 11. Two totally different kinds of kids.

 

[damren]

If you are comfortable then It should be fine. A few tips that worked for me and my DD
Make sure you have a cell phone or number where you can be reached at ALL times, and let her be able to call an aunt, or grandmother, ect. If she needs to
Also start leaving her alone for a little bit now to get her used to it. Maybe go to the grocery, while she stays home.

I'm sure she will be fine as long as she and you feel secure!!

 

[Pooh's Pixie]

Traveling fruit vendor,

I have never heard of such a thing! For real?!

 

[Tinkmom75]

My oldest DD was about 10. She is very responsible and wouldn't open the door. Even for me if I forgot something and had to run back in I had to get the key! We have two sets of Grandparents within walking distance so I was comfortable that someone was close by. Also, my husband works within 5 minutes of home and I called several times a day. My DS was about 10 also, but DD has been babysitting since 11 or 12. The biggest issue with DD and DS was that they would argue with each other.

 

[PRmamiDEdos]

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/14/nyregion/14alone.html?_r=1&pagewanted=2

I found this and it's a pretty good article. I'm still not sure if NY has a set age. I would feel comfortable leaving the kids (10 & 8) for 15 minutes and I've done so before. I can't take them with me when I walk the dogs at 4:30 in the morning but at that time they're still sleeping. I've gone to the 7-11 a mile away in the car and they've been fine.

I recently found a job and was thrilled that one of the moms will take my kids in the AM to put them on the bus. I'm home by the time they get out of school, so I'm also lucky in that sense. I think DD 10 is waaay more responsible and mature than DS 8 is, even when she was his age. I'm pretty sure that if I needed to leave them for a few hours it would be okay, but I don't think DS is ready for it to be on a daily basis.

 

[mykidsand_i]

I don't think it's really so much of having to be a 'certain age'...it should be more about 'how mature/ready' the child is. I've known some kids who are ready when they are 10- others aren't ready until 13. I have neighbors who leave their kids home alone for a few hours here and there- the kids are 9 and 11- they are DEFINATELY NOT READY. Those kids wonder around the neighborhood, walk up town go where ever they feel like it when they are left home alone. One time the boy (9) was brought home by the cops. He's a trouble maker though...but that's one reason why he's not ready to be left alone.

There are things that they must understand when they are left alone...not opening the door for strangers, not leaving their 'approved places', choosing the right things to do when they're at home and if they can't handle those things, then I don't believe they're ready. Also, depending on how long they need to be left, they need to be able to prepare a meal/snacks for them selves- whether it be a sandwich or what ever- but they need to be able to do it.

A class is a great idea! Before my cousins were able to be left home alone, they had to take a 'staying home alone' or a 'babysitting' course, so they were prepared. It's not a bad idea, so they can be prepared for the things they (and you as a parent) may not think about.

 

[samshane]

My DD turns 11 next month - and I will be signing her up for the Red Cross babysitting/First Aid course (you need to be 11 to attend - I already looked into it). I have left DDs 10 and 9 alone for an hour or 2 here and there while I ran to the store and everything has gone perfectly - I always take my DS7 with me (and my cell phone is glued to my hip). DH is deployed, so I wanted to try to leave them alone for short periods of time and so far it has gone amazingly well. They do not even fight! I think they realize it is a big responsibility for me to allow them to stay home.

Of course we have lots of rules - no friends, no answering the phone unless they can see it's me on caller-ID, no answering the door. They know all the emergency numbers.

I work PT as well about 10 minutes from home - this summer there will be about 1-2 weeks where DH won't be here (he is coming home and gets about a month off before he needs to report to his next place). I think my mom will come for a week and then I am not sure what I will do! I was babysitting other people's young children at 11 as well.

 

[mjkacmom]

At 11, dd13 was staying home alone for chunks of time, as does ds11 (sometimes he babysits the little ones if I'm running out - no more than 15 minutes, since he tends to sqabble with ds7, who is a handful). However, my concern would be having her spending all day alone - sounds boring. Are there kids home in the neighborhood she could hang out with?

 

[McKelly]

I am glad I found this thread, I am wondering the same thing too. I have a DD11 and DS9 and am also wondering when they will be okay being left home alone. I worked in the schools where summers were never an issue, but got laid off this year, and it is growing more and more difficult to live on one income (DH) and need to find a job soon HOWEVER, what to do in the summer? Even if they were mature enough to handle it, I am struggling with leaving them home alone all day, bored with nothing to do and not being able to see their friends all summer at the pool, etc. I feel like a bad mom!!

 

[X and G's mom]

Hello, fellow cheesehead here!
I started last summer with my children. My son was 12 and my daughter just turned 11. My daughter did go to summer school from mid June - mid July for the morning. So, they were there in the afternoon's together.
Now, my kids fight like there's no tomorrow, so there were some real strict rules they had to follow. They had to call if they wanted to go anywhere, they could not use the stove/oven they could not have ANYONE over no matter what. I coached them on what to say on the phone. They were not to answer the door. Any fighting would incur extreme discipline - no computer, phone, WII, DS, etc. It went just fine. They even took turns babysitting my nephew

Is there a Boys and Girls club near you? If so, they usually run all day during the summer. Until last summer I took my kids there everyday. They provided breakfast and lunch and supervised activities all summer. It was very reasonable at $20 per year of membership. Our BGC has a free bus from the middle school everyday too. I just love our BGC!