How old were your kids when you left them home alone while you were at work?

[tmarquez]

My DD is only 7, but this thread is interesting.

I was babysitting at 11, so left alone and caring for sometimes multiple young kids. So were a lot of my friends at that age.

It's funny how things change over time.

 

[Disneycrazy!!]

I think I heard that a child has to be 12 years old here in MS. I need to find out, but my husband is such a worrier about the kids. We have a 12 year old daughter and he won't even allow her to stay home alone while I go to the grocery store. I think he is being over protective.

 

[Crystal0608]

I was 8 and my cousin 5 when we were left home alone from probably 6:30am-4pm in the summer and got off the bus and in the house by ourselves. We broke about all the rules for staying home alone-answered the phone & the door, fighting, went outside and down the road, played with matches, cooked on the stove, etc, stuff I would freak if my kids did. When I was 13 I started babysitting in the summer for my aunt from 7am-6pm M-F and in the neighborhood. DH was also 8 when he was left alone and then at nights he had to babysit his baby sis.

With that said, my kids are 8 and 9 and no way in the next 5 years do I see leaving them alone at home. My ds is a total rule breaker. Also, I was so bored during the summer when I was a kid and like for my kids to be able to swim and go to the park and just do stuff instead of staying in the house for 8-9 hours. My dh told me before he was scared staying by himself and hated having to babysit all the time and not go places with his friends. My dh was laid off going on 7 years ago, so though we need the $$ I don't see both of us being able to work 1st shift til the kids are in HS preferably, maybe 14 or 15 years old.

Does your YMCA have a summer program? They have tweens there at ours.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

My son was 12 when I let him stay home all day alone. it was only a couple of times though. Now he gets to stay home and babysit his sister who at 10 years old is more mature than he was at 12. LOL

I don't know what the age is around here but I think it's pretty young. 10 maybe?

Most daycares don't take kids over 11 so once your kids hit 12, you are on your own. It kind of stinks if you have a child who needs the supervision.

 

[jme829]

Thanks for all the responses! We don't have any camps nearby that she could go to. I thought of looking around by where I work though. She does have friends, but most of their moms work also and they stay home alone.

She's pretty mature about some things, but still seems immature on some things to me. She does stay home alone an hour or two sometimes if we have to run errands and she does fine. She wants to stay home alone. And she is trustworthy. I think she might get bored though.

So, we'll see, I think I'm going to investigate more options! Thanks for the ideas!

Where abouts in Wi are you (just a general location) ?? I'm in St Croix County (just east of St. Paul) and Camp Croix (YMCA Camp) runs summer camps. Maybe check with your local Y and see what they offer? My dd is also going to be 11, but she isn't really mature enough yet to stay by herself for more than 20-30 minutes. My older daughter was fine at that age, but not this one. Luckily though, I don't work in the summer ( I work for the schools) so summer care isn't an issue for us.

Check too any local "entertainment" places. I know the humane society runs all day camps, the zoos sometimes do, art camps, etc... Maybe you can put her in several different types of camps. (I'm talking the ones that run 8-4/8-5 ish) I would think the cost (usually around 150-200 dollars) would be comparable to a week of child care, but she would be doing fun things with other kids her age. Usually the library or school is a good place to get community resource info. We got a lot of info sent home from our school about communtiy opportunites in the summer. Its just a thought.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

My mom went back to work when I was in middle school, so I am thinking I was 12. I leave my DS11 and DS10 alone for a hour or two while I run local errands.

 

[JerseyJanice]

In NJ, children 11 and older can be left alone. Kids must be 13 before they can babysitter younger siblings.

To the OP, does your DD come home by herself after school? Once she's been doing O.K. with that for a while, she should be O.K. by herself in the summer.

Last summer was the first one that we left DS home alone. He was 12 when the summer began and turned 13 in August. He did great! We were very proud of him. He did have activities most of the summer break. The first six weeks, he went to the town recreation's basketball camp. After that, he went to the municipal swimming pool every sunny day. The last two weeks, he had marching band camp.

He has his own key to let himself in and lock up when he leaves. He has a cell phone. We also have a huge, loud dog. (That messy beast of ours is actually good for something!)

 

[Docwoods]

Could she be a mother's helper? That might be something that would interest her,and you.Would be nice for her to earn a little money,and be productive.

 

[crjack]

HOWEVER, what to do in the summer? Even if they were mature enough to handle it, I am struggling with leaving them home alone all day, bored with nothing to do and not being able to see their friends all summer at the pool, etc. I feel like a bad mom!!

This is the issue that we struggle with as well. My two children are old enough to be home but too young to drive, work, etc. I dont want them home watching tv all day or playing on the computer. We dont have a community pool they could walk to.

Most of our park camps end with early middle school. The tween/young teens really get over-looked IMO. Mine are close to the age where I want them supervised!

 

[dislaney]

This is the issue that we struggle with as well. My two children are old enough to be home but too young to drive, work, etc. I dont want them home watching tv all day or playing on the computer. We dont have a community pool they could walk to.

Most of our park camps end with early middle school. The tween/young teens really get over-looked IMO. Mine are close to the age where I want them supervised!

One of the best summers I can remember was when we were not quite old enough to stay alone but too old for daycares, etc. My mother hired a college student who was a family friend and she kept us entertained all summer. She took us all kinds of places and we had a wonderful summer. Is there anyone you could find that might be interested in spending some time with your kids?

 

[NotUrsula]

DS is 12, and for a year now he has been staying home alone on snow days, teacher-training days, Xmas break, etc. However, the entire summer is another issue, and I know that he would turn into a total screen zombie if we did that.

Over the summer we send him to various universities to take enrichment classes. Last year he learned computer animation; before that we enrolled him in a class on MSOffice software. If you live rurally you could enroll them in online enrichment; we try to stay clear of that because DS doesn't have any IRL friends that he sees outside of school, and he really needs to be with other live people besides his parents at SOME point during the summer.

When I was a tween I trained people's dogs during summers; lots of folks like to have their animals exercised during the day. I would go to the home, take the dog out to do drills in the yard for a couple of hours, go to the next house, etc.

DS does cook for himself, and we have had a couple of incidents. Last week he made the mistake of trying to use a Pyrex dish on the stovetop -- the explosion scared him pretty badly, but he actually rose to the occasion, remembered his safety training, and did everything right to prevent a disaster. There was no major damage to him or to the house when I got home. (Now before anyone jumps on me for being cavalier about that kind of goof, I have to tell you that I did the exact same thing myself a few years ago; only I did it on Thanksgiving morning! Accidents do happen, and I'm willing to accept that.)

 

[aprilgail2]

I leave my 10 year old home now for a few hours but not the whole day. In the summer she goes to summer camp still. Our school district has an after school program but only until 5th grade- by 6th they consider them old enough to go home by themselves so that is 10 years old. By 13 here they are in high school so by then for sure thye can stay home all day on their own!

 

[Principessa1284]

My mom would let me stay home alone when I was home sick from school for the day from around 9 or so. (Not when I was deathly ill, i mean.. i frequently got sinus infections). I wouldn't have dreamed of answering the door and I'm still terrified of the oven at 25 years old, so that wasn't an issue. She also only worked less than 3 miles away and my dad was less than 5 and I'd always call her at work throughout the day.

My little brother, on the other hand, didn't stay home alone until he was probably 14 or 15. I was the good child.

 

[traces7]

At 11, dd13 was staying home alone for chunks of time, as does ds11 (sometimes he babysits the little ones if I'm running out - no more than 15 minutes, since he tends to sqabble with ds7, who is a handful). However, my concern would be having her spending all day alone - sounds boring. Are there kids home in the neighborhood she could hang out with?

Hello, fellow cheesehead here!
I started last summer with my children. My son was 12 and my daughter just turned 11. My daughter did go to summer school from mid June - mid July for the morning. So, they were there in the afternoon's together.
Now, my kids fight like there's no tomorrow, so there were some real strict rules they had to follow. They had to call if they wanted to go anywhere, they could not use the stove/oven they could not have ANYONE over no matter what. I coached them on what to say on the phone. They were not to answer the door. Any fighting would incur extreme discipline - no computer, phone, WII, DS, etc. It went just fine. They even took turns babysitting my nephew

Is there a Boys and Girls club near you? If so, they usually run all day during the summer. Until last summer I took my kids there everyday. They provided breakfast and lunch and supervised activities all summer. It was very reasonable at $20 per year of membership. Our BGC has a free bus from the middle school everyday too. I just love our BGC!

We don't have any other kids her age in our neighborhood, there's a few younger kids down the street, but we don't really know them well and all the parents work.

We don't have a Boys and Girls club during the summer. There is one at her school during the school year, but they don't run during the summer. I keep hoping they will. They're talking about opening during the time summer school is running mid June til mid July. So then she could go there from noon til we pick her up at 5 p.m. It would be nice if they ran all summer!

 

[emer95]

This is a very interesting thread! I've been wondering the same thing. I have two girls, 9 and 11. They are both very mature and responsible, but my oldest girl is a big chicken! She's terrified at the thought of me leaving, even for short grocery store runs. Her little sister would be totally fine with it. It's so funny because she is so level-headed and trust worthy in every other area, but she is just NOT ready for that yet. I left once and she was holding back tears and almost sick to her stomach, worried that something might happen to me while I was gone, or that the house might start on fire. She's not a worrier by nature either, except for this one issue.
I babysat infants when I was 11 years old, and I loved it and made great money! I guess everyone is different.
You've gotten lots of great advice, OP. I hope you find something that works for you!

 

[luvmyfam444]

I would definitely try to find someone to stay with her -like you suggested a college student - there will be plenty home in the summer. I would be a nervous wreck being that far from her. Unless you have neighbors home all day that you trust completely then MAYBE. My 11 yo is not ready to be left alone. I don't think she'd know what to do in an emergency - or if someone came to the door.

Maybe you could hire her out - to be a mother's helper - if you know anyone that could use the extra help with their kids during the summer - your dd comes over & plays with them while the mom gets things done & your dd can get paid for the help or not - its free for you either way

 

[ohiomom28]

I have a 10 year old DS that has been staying home alone since August. Right now its just after school for 2.5 hours. If there are days off, he will stay all day alone, but I am 10 minutes away at work and come home mid-day for lunch. It has worked out well.

 

[traces7]

I think we'll try the half days while she's in summer school and then go from there. (She does stay alone a couple hours now while I'm running errands and is fine). I'm having second thoughts about staying home all day alone though. I'll have to think more on that. Maybe we'll come up with something before summer.
Thanks for all the great advice everyone!

 

[Darcy03231]

My kids were 12, but I work less than a mile away from my house and don't have to be at work until 8:30 a.m.. I go home everyday for lunch (12-1) and DH is home by 3:30 p.m.

 

[mjkacmom]

This is a very interesting thread! I've been wondering the same thing. I have two girls, 9 and 11. They are both very mature and responsible, but my oldest girl is a big chicken! She's terrified at the thought of me leaving, even for short grocery store runs. Her little sister would be totally fine with it. It's so funny because she is so level-headed and trust worthy in every other area, but she is just NOT ready for that yet. I left once and she was holding back tears and almost sick to her stomach, worried that something might happen to me while I was gone, or that the house might start on fire. She's not a worrier by nature either, except for this one issue.
I babysat infants when I was 11 years old, and I loved it and made great money! I guess everyone is different.
You've gotten lots of great advice, OP. I hope you find something that works for you!

LOL - my ds7 honestly can't understand why he can't stay home alone, and dd13 honestly can't understand why she can't stay home alone for a weekend!