How old is too old to be a mom?

[IDoDis]

I know someone who had three kids after the age of 40. They are 2 years apart so her last one was born when she was almost 45 years old.

 

[kirbydog48]

I had my one and only child when I was 41. I was incredibly lucky; I got pregnant on the first try, had an easy pregnancy. I have a very young attitude, have a lot of energy and exercise a lot, so that keeps me going. Most people can't believe I'm 52 now. Age is just a number. You have to do what's right for you and your significant other when it's right for you, not when "they" say you should. I feel I'm a much better parent now due to life experience than I would have been in my 20's or 30's. Everyone's life is different.

 

[epcotprincess]

It's true that your energy wanes as you get older and fertility issues increase, however, I feel the appropriate time to become a mom is when you're ready whether that's in your 20's or 40's.

I personally was in my mid-20s when I conceived my dd and plan to be done by 35 at the latest. But that has a lot to do with the fact that I met DH when I was pretty young, and not everyone has that happen or is ready at that time.

It drives me really crazy when people talk about your shortened lifetime if you have a baby later in life. Anyone can die at any time, and anyone can live to 100.

And I think you are plenty young, by the way. Don't listen to the naysayers.

 

[minkydog]

It's true that your energy wanes as you get older and fertility issues increase, however, I feel the appropriate time to become a mom is when you're ready whether that's in your 20's or 40's.

It drives me really crazy when people talk about your shortened lifetime if you have a baby later in life. Anyone can die at any time, and anyone can live to 100.

And I think you are plenty young, by the way. Don't listen to the naysayers.

I agree. My MIL had DH and his sister and brother very late for her generation. THey had been married for 18 year when she had DSil at age 38. Then DH came at age 40 and his brother at age 42. Although she is weakened and lives in a nursing home, dear MIL is still clicking along at 90. Dsil is 56 and DH is 53, so they're not exactly spring chickens either.

 

[hambirg]

double post

 

[hambirg]

OP. . I don't think you are too old. I had my first when I was 29. . and I have 3. I was 36 when my last was born. My brother and my cousin were both 41 when they had their one and onlies. My BFF's mom was 41 when she had her and she's an only child.

BUT I do agree with the PP that said don't dawdle. . .you just don't know what the cards hold for you until you start trying. I know several people that it took almost 10 years for them to get pregnant with their first.

I wanted to be done before I was 40. If it was up to my mom, I would still be popping them out at 45. Looking back, I wish I would have started a little sooner. . .in my mind, 25 would be ideal. But I don't think you are too old at all.

 

[disneychrista]

I was 18 & 20 when I had my kids.

I would have thought about having a baby until I was 36.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

I was 18 for the first, 25 for the second, and Had my twins at 31. I had said i was done at 32. Planned on having just one more before my self imposed cutoff age. And ended up having twins.
It has to be whats right for you. I started early so I finished early.

 

[december]

I had my kids at 24, 26, and 36. Wouldn't change a thing! I was through after the first 2, but dh begged for 9 yrs for another baby. At 35, I gave in and told him he had until the end of the year to get me pregnant. Told him not to get his hopes up, I had been on the pill for 9 yrs, I was older, blah blah blah.......the next month I was holding a positive pregnancy test. I worked full time, took care of 2 older kids, and completed grad school while pregnant and with a newborn.

At almost 38, I don't feel old. I know some people my age that do seem middle aged, though. I think it is all in the individual.

People make comments. I teach high school, and had a rough group when I got pregnant. I heard comments like "ain't you embarrassed to be pregnant at your age?" From kids who already had kids of their own. My mother couldn't figure out why I would want another baby when I "finally have the other 2 off your lap". People assume she was an accident. Take it with a grain of salt. She is pure joy!

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

People make comments. I teach high school, and had a rough group when I got pregnant. I heard comments like "ain't you embarrassed to be pregnant at your age?" From kids who already had kids of their own.

OMG!

 

[Family Fun Mom]

I was married at 21, had my first child at 23, next at 24, then surprise number 3 came at 28. I always knew I wanted to be done birthing babies by 30. I was such an enthusiastic young mom. I gave those kids my all (still do)and really enjoyed those young baby years. I'm 36 now and cannot imagine just getting started at this age. My kids are 13, 12 and 8 and I am loving the new freedoms that come with having older kids while still being pretty young myself.

I took a lot of flack for getting married and having children so young. The older moms at the schools didn't give me much respect at first. Teachers, too. I had to work hard to prove myself as a good mother. I don't have that problem anymore

I have plenty of friends my age just starting their families, or still expanding them. There are pros and cons to both ways. I was full of energy and pep when my kids were little but money was always an issue. We really struggled for some of those years. Money is a big plus in waiting until you're older. You are also much more comfortable with yourself and have more confidence as an older mom.

No matter how you choose to live your life, young mom vs older mom, or maybe not even being a mom at all, people are going to put in their two cents. People love to tell others what they are doing wrong with their lives, don't they? You just need to do what works best for you and your family. Good luck!

 

[Pugrpooh]

I have 3 girls. I was 28, 29 and 43 when they were born, although I had 2 miscarriages in my early 20's. We tried throughout most of my 30's and basically at one point, the doctor said I was getting too old and my fertility was just dropping off.

I was floored when I ended up pregnant at 42 and not happy at all at first. That feeling soon passed and we couldn't be more thankful for her. At the time I was pregnant, they had another patient, 45 years old, who was pregnant and also had a toddler.

Now DD22 is pregnant and will have the baby around Christmas! My parents are still in good health, I have most of my aunts and uncles and my 96 year old grandma who is beyond excited to hold her first great-great-grandchild. God willing, I plan on being around at least as long!

 

[DawnM]

I got married at 29.

First child at 32
Second at 33
Third son born when I was 38

 

[Buckeye Princess]

It is frustrating to be judged for your personal decisions. I think the right age to have children is the right age for you and your partner. I had my first at 26 and am due next week with my second at 28. I know that according to statistics and national averages that isn't supposed to be that young, but for where we live and the people that I encounter it seems very very young. All of the moms that I meet at the playground, swim class, etc are all in their mid 30s. I've had a very tough time making friends. No one in our pre baby social circle is a parent yet, nor even close. Most of our college friends are still in school getting advanced degrees. Many of the other SAHM that I meet seem to write me off because I am younger assuming that we won't have much in common just because of the age difference, even though we are at quite similar life stages. It gets lonely.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

I was 25 when I had my first, my second came at 27.

There is no right or wrong answer here. The question is of when it's right for you. There are plenty of "older" moms who are absolutely brilliant, and there is an equal number of "younger" moms who are the same.

My MIL had DH when she was 23. My mom was 30 when she had me. And while I just found this out 2 years ago, my mother was adopted when my grandma was 35 (and that was in 1950!). My dad's mom was around 25 too. I think we all turned out just fine, and you can see the age spread for my family!!!

ETA: a coworker of mine (and dear friend) had her babies at 37 and 41. She loves every day of it as they are the light of her life.

 

[december]

OMG!

Same class, different kid told me that I "shouldn't be advertisin' what you been doin'". Teaching is not for the thin skinned!

 

[ozarkmom]

I really don't know the answer to that. One of my friends children are 23, 21, and 2. She's in her forties. She loves her baby but I see good and bad in her situation. Another of my friends also in her forties has children aged 24, 18, 15, and 3. I know when I'm around these friends I go home thinking no way could I do that again. My parents had my brother when they were 40 and 41. He never told them but he resented them being older than his friends parents. Sometimes when my mom was out with my brother people referred to her as grandma and that upset her. No answer here sorry.

 

[Family Fun Mom]

It is frustrating to be judged for your personal decisions. I think the right age to have children is the right age for you and your partner. I had my first at 26 and am due next week with my second at 28. I know that according to statistics and national averages that isn't supposed to be that young, but for where we live and the people that I encounter it seems very very young. All of the moms that I meet at the playground, swim class, etc are all in their mid 30s. I've had a very tough time making friends. No one in our pre baby social circle is a parent yet, nor even close. Most of our college friends are still in school getting advanced degrees. Many of the other SAHM that I meet seem to write me off because I am younger assuming that we won't have much in common just because of the age difference, even though we are at quite similar life stages. It gets lonely.

Hang in there, it get's better. Two of my best friends in the world are 5 years older than me. We met when our daughters were in preschool. At first they treated me like a kid sister but after they got to know me that faded away and our relationships have grown into deep, meaningful friendships. It developed slowly but now I can't imagine my life without them. Our husbands are all friends, too. We never think of our ages anymore, except when I tease them about being so "old" (they are both over 40 now and I like to rub that in, all good natured) LOL.

Being at similar stages in life can be more bonding than age. I have friends my age I feel like I can't relate to at all because they still act like kids. I love them, and enjoy their company, but we just can't connect the way I do with other married moms. Once the kids start school, friendships with other moms develop much easier. I have a whole network now!

 

[Disney Doll]

My personal cut off was 40.

I tried having a baby from age 32-37 with no luck, so at age 37 I stopped fertility treatments and just went with being childfree.

 

[Disney Doll]

My personal cut off was 40.

I tried having a baby from age 32-37 with no luck, so at age 37 I stopped fertility treatments and just went with being childfree.