How much $$ would you give as wedding gift?

[BadgerGirl84]

$200 and adult children can gift their own.

I don't recall getting more than a $200 check from anyone other than my FIL at our own wedding 7 years ago.

 

[disneychrista]

$100 for yourself x 5 people in the family = $500

No. $100 for the family. Not per person.

 

[mjkacmom]

Nope

That was tongue in cheek to the person I quoted.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

That was tongue in cheek to the person I quoted.

Gotcha - I’m a little slow LOL

 

[iivye]

I would give $500 in the OP's situation. I am also someone who believes in covering the cost of plate when figuring the gift amount.

 

[kiddo76]

My goodness, why are people getting so defensive? She asked "What would you give?", not "What should everyone give?", or "What would you expect as the bride and groom?"

 

[Skellingtonj]

My goodness, why are people getting so defensive? She asked "What would you give?", not "What should everyone give?", or "What would you expect as the bride and groom?"

Because people are nuts. They will drop 6k on a Disney trip but clutch their pearls when someone suggests they give a cash gift at a wedding.

 

[Floridaman999]

$712.74

 

[NotUrsula]

Me to DH, "Honey, what would you think of a guy who came alone to DS' wedding and gave them $200?"
DH: "I'd be wondering what he is feeling guilty about."

 

[cedricandsophie]

Our niece and nephew are both married. We gave each $500. We are going to the wedding if a close friends daughter in a few weeks. We will give $250 we can afford it so why skimp. They can use it Way more than us.

 

[ManalapanDad]

Being someone who threw a 300+ person six figure wedding I did not expect my guests to cover the expense it was more so about the experience I wanted to give them with my wife. You should give what you feel is right and according to what you can afford. I would probably gift 1000$ in your situation but even 500$ is appropriate it just what you feel is right for you.

 

[LSUmiss]

WHOA!!! We come from upper middle class with a sprinkling of 1% thrown in and the most money I got for anything was $1,000 and that was from my parents. Most folks, even family gave $100 or less. You mention your grown kids, $100 each to a cousin is high, IMO. Why not let them give their own gift, relative to what they can afford? And you and your spouse give what you want to give. For me, we send a gift and maybe $100-$200. It would never occur to me to send $500 unless it was my own child.

Same here with similar family financial background. We got $1000 from each set of parents & the most anyone else gave was $250. That was 12 years ago but still!

 

[LSUmiss]

It’s regional/cultural, as you can see by the majority of the responses. No one in my area would send an actual gift.

Wish I lived at the area!

 

[LSUmiss]

Cover your plate mentality - another way of begging for others to pay for your wedding - not going to happen here.

We spent on our wedding exactly what we could afford and no more - neither parents were able to add much and we didn't want them to. Now, it's expected/demanded by some couples that others (parents/guests) cover their costs - no matter what the pain of doing that may be.

I know we are from the same area. I have never heard of the cover your plate thing until Dis. Have you heard of that around here?

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I don't remember what $ amount people gave us (the ones that actually did as we had a registry as well). I just remember the pain it was to cash about half the checks due to how they were addressed to us.

I only wrote down what people gave us so that when it came time for writing Thank You cards we could personalize it with just what the person gave. Even then we didn't write "Thank you for the $50"; the dollar amount never matter nor was it memorized for any reason. That list of what people gave has long been gone though.

 

[LSUmiss]

Here’s the thing, if you live here, your mortgage payment is way more than $1000, heck if you are giving someone half your mortgage payment, that is an insane wedding gift!

It’s an insane gift here & my mortgage payments are way more than $1000.

 

[LSUmiss]

But that’s my point, $500 where you live is not the the same as $500 where I live, where $400,000 buys a starter home with a $10,000+ a year property tax bill. $500 is about half of one month’s rent in a one bedroom apartment. It’s all relative.

I still think it’s regional too for other reasons. There are similar housing costs in my area & especially in my circle of family & friends, but no one would give that much as a norm.

 

[MillauFr]

Hate to break it to you but COL doesn't necessarily mesh with income levels. Not sure exactly where you are, but I googled most of the north east and for this area of my state, income levels ae pretty equal. I just don't pay $400,000 for a 3 bedroom house.

COL really should not dictate wedding gifts. You are giving a gift, supposedly of the heart, not trying to take them on to raise.

Some fool paid $4.16 million for a starter house in Seattle. Absolutely foolish....

https://www.zillow.com/homes/for_sa...-122.314731,47.676183,-122.319345_rect/17_zm/

I sure hope they got a $500 wedding check.

 

[kiddo76]

Same here with similar family financial background. We got $1000 from each set of parents & the most anyone else gave was $250. That was 12 years ago but still!

Just curious. Did the parents also go the traditional route of bride's parents pay for the wedding and groom's parents pay for rehersal dinner?

I have 1 brother and 1 sister. My dad gave us each the same (I assume) amount of cash instead of paying directly for our weddings. About $10,000.

DH is an only child. His parents paid for 1/2 the reception and rehersal dinner. They also gave us a monetary gift (maybe around $300?)

My mom told me my gift was the 4 years post college she allowed me to live at home rent free.

I'd say what we received from each of our parents was about equal, just given to us in different ways.

 

[kiddo76]

Me to DH, "Honey, what would you think of a guy who came alone to DS' wedding and gave them $200?"
DH: "I'd be wondering what he is feeling guilty about."

A couple of weeks after our wedding, we got a 2nd card with $100 from my FIL's best friend. Since we had already received a gift from him, we checked with my FIL before cashing to make sure his friend meant to send it to us. My FIL abruptly told us "Just cash the check, but don't send a thank you note." Apparently his (married) friend got drunk and was making out in the coat room with my FIL's cousin during the reception. . He sent us hush money.

I guess our reception was a little wilder than we realized at the time!