How Much Should Parents Pay?

[Mariposa]

If I were to invite a friend of DD's along, my request would be that the parents cover her theme park tickets and send souvie money. We drive down so the car would be covered and we'd already be paying for the room.. As for food money? Kids (small ones) can't just decide they don't want to go to eat with you, so we would pay for them.

I'm taking a friend to WDW in about a month, she's paying for her theme park tickets and most of her food. If we find airfare we're okay with paying (often good deals last minute) she'll cover her own ticket. Essentially, she's paying for anything I wouldn't already be covering to go solo (minus a sit down meal or two, which I'll cover). The reason I'm not covering as much for her as I would for a child is because I expect that if she doesn't want to go along with something I have planned she'll do her own thing.. somehow that makes my level of responsibility for her trip feel different.

 

[shades]

Not judging anyone here, but this is the budget board. What does an 11 y/o spend $400 on? We just spend 6 days in Disney, and my DD11 could barely spend her alloted $20! That was the $20 that I gave her. She had no interest in adding her own money to her spending.

I can (and, do) easily spend $400 at Disney on souvies, but those are expensive things. I just bought a $200 watch there last week. My 13yr spent a total of $15.00 on a 10-day visit for 2 key chains. We gave her $100 to spend and she didn't see anything else she wanted. One can only own so many Mickey shirts

 

[WantToGoNow]

Let me ask another question related to this. We are planning to return to WDW in December. My dd’s friend asked my dd if she could join us again since she had such a good time last year. Last year we stayed in an offsite villa and drove to FL so the only extra cost was park tickets, food and souvenirs. My dd and her friend will both be 22 when we travel – I also have a DS4 and DD2. Is it unreasonable for me to ask her to pay her own expenses – tickets, food, etc.? Since we will have 6 going, we had to reserve two rooms - she and my dd will be staying in the second room and I have asked that they split the extra cost for that room and they agreed (the 5 of us could have stayed in one room since my dd will not yet be 3). If she were a child, I could understand paying for her tickets, meals, expenses, etc. but since she’s an adult I feel she should be responsible. Any thoughts?

 

[Mariposa]

Let me ask another question related to this. We are planning to return to WDW in December. My dd’s friend asked my dd if she could join us again since she had such a good time last year. Last year we stayed in an offsite villa and drove to FL so the only extra cost was park tickets, food and souvenirs. My dd and her friend will both be 22 when we travel – I also have a DS4 and DD2. Is it unreasonable for me to ask her to pay her own expenses – tickets, food, etc.? Since we will have 6 going, we had to reserve two rooms - she and my dd will be staying in the second room and I have asked that they split the extra cost for that room and they agreed (the 5 of us could have stayed in one room since my dd will not yet be 3). If she were a child, I could understand paying for her tickets, meals, expenses, etc. but since she’s an adult I feel she should be responsible. Any thoughts?

I don't think it's unreasonable at all to ask an adult who asked if she can come along to pay her own expenses... You didn't offer her a trip at all in that case, she offered to join you.

 

[disneyfreakk]

WantToGoNow,

Since she invited herself I dont think its unreasonable to ask/ expect her to pay her own way. It would have been different had you invited her to come. Just my 2 cents.

 

[CarolynNC]

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to this issue. You do what best suits all the parties involved. The key here is you do it up front with full details. If you want to "invite" a child, an adult friend, an extended family member you decide up front what you expect them to provide and issue the invitation in that manner. What's right for me is certainly not what's right for others as we can clearly see by the wide range of posts. I pay the entire expense most times but there have been several times with adult "guest" where I have asked them to chip in some funds. Bringing along guests can make for a great addition to any trip as long as expectations are clear going into the deal.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

Let me inform you that the $600.00 is for park entrances and her fun shopping money, not for meals or food or any of that. Her parents asked me about 4 months ago how much money their daughter needed and at that time I told them around $600.00 so she could really enjoy herself. Keep in mind this is for 16 days not 7. I figured 1/2 of that for park entrances and the other 1/2 for her to spend. My DD who is 11 always goes with at least $400.00 to blow on whatever she wants. It is her holiday too. She has her birthday right before we leave every year and everyone in the family gives her money. I am finding it hard to believe that no one out there feels that the childs parents should have to pay something.

So tell me something when you as parents invite other adult family members with you, you all cover all of their costs ?

I don't get the last comparision there at all.

Inviting someone with a job = they can contribute more
Inviting someone without a job (child, elderly, severely disabled, etc.) = you have more financial responsibility towards them unless you have made prior arrangements with another person (their parent, guardian, etc.)

Inviting an independent adult = they are an equal vacationer who can choose to do their own thing
Inviting a minor child = you are accepting temporary guardianship. If they are left alone, get lost, or hurt or suffer malnutrition or something, you could be held legally responsible. Taking another person's child on vacation is a big responsibility, not just a toy to keep the vacationer's child busy.

How much one family vs. another should pay is filled with so many variables that its impossible to say that you should pay for this and that and not such and such. Sometimes a child will go on vacation with another family and that child's parents will insist on paying for every single thing. Sometimes the parents will sit back and ignore everything, hoping that their child gets a 100% free ride. I personally don't think either situation is entirely perfect, but that is up to the two families to discuss. Sometimes families will foot the bill 100 % and then the other family will do the same when they go on vacation, taking the kids somewhere else. No one asks for money either way. This wouldn't work if it wasn't previously discussed though. For that matter, even if you invite an adult, finances should always be discussed in advance. "We're going to WDW in August! We thought you guys might like to go in on it with us! I can let you know about how much everything would cost and if you're interested we can figure out dates and stuff!" You should do the same if you're inviting the child. "We're going to WDW in August! We though Suzie might like to come and keep Perla company! I can let you know how much airfare and souvenir money would cost- we could cover the other stuff- and the dates and you can discuss it with your wife and let us know!" From minute one, open discussion is important.

I would think that it is tacky to go to Crystal Palace and ask the child to cough up money for her portion of the tab! I would think that it is tacky for a family who can afford it to not offer any money, but this isn't the case here. The parents have agreed to give the child the amount you asked them to give her, correct?

Do the parents know how much of that 600 is for park entry? I would feel much more comfortable straightening all of this out before I went.
If they give their child 600 dollars and it all gets used up on park entry and candy, they may be a little upset.

It might be a good idea to go through your itinerary, itemizing what you plan to accept monetarily from the girl each day and add it all up, and see where you come out. Then you can deduct that from the 600 and divide the remains over the 16 days and see what you come up with so that the child knows how much spending money she has. She could always save a little and buy something big on the last day, etc. And of course, all of this should be discussed with the child's parents.

It's nice to take along a friend for your child to spend time with, and it will hopefully bring them a lot of fun memories, but it's also a huge responsibility- without careful planning, it could bring a whole lot of stress! Good luck and ahve a great trip!

 

[RADOPT]

I would never invite someone else child because it is hard enough to pay for my kids to go. We are DVC members and we would have 'room' in a 2 bedroom for them to each bring a friend. And everyone would fit in our van to get there. BUT the fact that people then expect you to pay for everything once they are there has put a dead stop on the idea of my girls ever bringing a friend.
DJ

You can alway ask it they would like to go but they would have to pay their own way - as long as they know before they accept.

I would pay my daughter's way if I could - she'd stay home if I couldn't. Which is why I like to ask the parents before I say anything to my children or their friends.

 

[LadyJanel]

We are seasonal passholders and since we don't live that far away (6 hours, tops) we go down several times a year to WDW. Our kids have each taken a friend three times during the past two years and we have picked up the expense of the extra passes and any meals though we scale those meals back, cook, take snacks with us, etc. The parents have all asked us if we would like them to pay for passes or and we have declined but have asked them to send spending money with them to cover anything extra they would like to do and buy like souvenirs. Without exception, all of the different friends have taken plenty of spending cash and have even treated my kids to extras in the park as a thank you for being invited. It has been a great treat and experience for all involved.

What I would like to see, however, is a seasonal or annual guest pass that as long as a person holding the guest pass is with the seasonal or annual guest then they could use it. For example, we normally buy 4 adult seasonal passes (2 parents, 2 teenagers) but we would like to buy 2 extra adult seasonal special guest passes that would allow them to bring a different friend each time and could be registered with Disney Services for each visit to the park to reset the biometrics for that visit. The benefits to Disney are that they could charge a little more for the special guest pass and they would also get increased spending in the parks and hotels for meals and souvenirs. I do see the possibility for abuse but it would be less abused than many of the ticket brokers that sell non-transferable tickets.

 

[mom2alix]

As the inviter I would expect to pay everything for a (child) guest. we would treat them as another member of the family. (Other families we invite to share our DVC is another story).

OTOH - if my child were invited I would ask the other parents what they expected and (even if they said they were going to cover everything) I would insist on paying for airline ticket and park ticket at the very least. Obviously I would also provide my child with spending money.

I would also offer to give the parent money towards their food bill. (Gotta admit I would expect to be turned down, but I would not have a problem paying it). Even if they refused food money, I would send my child with enough money to cover a meal for everybody and instruct them to buy their hosts a nice meal as a "thank you" during the trip.

 

[SleepyatDVC]

OP,

Although I agree that is was important to spell out all the costs before the invitation was issued, it does sound like the other family expected to kick in some costs if they asked you about how much money they would need.

Each case is different and each family is different. Only you know the friend's family. Their ability to afford spending so much money on their child's vacation as well as their attitude about it makes a difference.

When I was young, my Aunt (Mom's youngest sister) who was only 11 years older than me, would "invite" me and my male cousin to the movies. She took us to Star Wars, Raiders, and me to Gone With the Wind on the big screen. She also took me to the ballet. I'm pretty sure that my Mom paid her back for the tickets since she was a poor college student at the time.

When I was in HS, she "invited" me on trips with her and one of her girl friends. We went to DisneyLand, drove down the CA coast, visited the Musuems and Mansions, and the San Diego Zoo, among other things. My parents paid for all my expenses (airfare and we all split the costs of the hotel, car rentals, and meals) and I brought along my own spending money.

When my Aunt got married, she and her new husband "invited" me and 2 of my cousins with them to WDW on their HONEYMOON!!!
We stayed at the Poly, I shared a bed with my girl cousin and her brother slept on the day bed.

My parents paid for my airfare and admission tickets and I brought my own spending money but they picked up the tab for the hotel, car, and all meals out. However, I suspect that they also picked up the whole tab for my cousins because no way their parents could afford it.

When I was in college in Miami, I had my own AP and they would always invite me up to WDW when they were there. I would drive up and crash in their room. When we went out to eat, they would treat me.

When they went on a cruise out of Miami, they invited me on a super cheap 3rd or 4th pax rate. They had 2 girls by that time and my Aunt was expecting their 3rd. They paid for everything including the cruise fare (no airfare 'cause I was in Miami) and excursions. In return, I helped out some (minimum) with their little ones.

Now that I'm married with children of my own, I meet up with my Aunt ALL THE TIME at WDW. We are both DVC members. She has 8 kids and the youngest one (girl) is 4 months younger than my DD7. She usually brings her younger kids and one older one (to help out) when she joins up with me so that our kids can play together.

When we go out to meals together now, everything is Dutch.

My Aunt enabled me to do things and go places that I never would have been able to do at a younger age, not because my parents couldn't afford it, but because they didn't have the time to take me. So, in those cases, even though she "invited" me, most of my expenses were paid for.

She still loves to invite my much younger cousins on different trips. When a family member can afford it, their parents pay part of the way. If they can't, she and her DH treats them. They usually pay for all meals etc., for both. It does irk her when one of her more "affluent" sisters let her son keep inviting himself to their home and family trips and "moouches" off them and she turns a blind eye.

Sorry to ramble on. But maybe this is different because we are relatives and know each other's financial situation better.

 

[shades]

Let me ask another question related to this. We are planning to return to WDW in December. My dd’s friend asked my dd if she could join us again since she had such a good time last year. Last year we stayed in an offsite villa and drove to FL so the only extra cost was park tickets, food and souvenirs. My dd and her friend will both be 22 when we travel – I also have a DS4 and DD2. Is it unreasonable for me to ask her to pay her own expenses – tickets, food, etc.? Since we will have 6 going, we had to reserve two rooms - she and my dd will be staying in the second room and I have asked that they split the extra cost for that room and they agreed (the 5 of us could have stayed in one room since my dd will not yet be 3). If she were a child, I could understand paying for her tickets, meals, expenses, etc. but since she’s an adult I feel she should be responsible. Any thoughts?

Since she has asked to join your family - I would add up exactly what it will cost to add her to the trip and tell her she can join you if she pays you in advance for the total cost. I would be very specific about who pays for what - so she will know what the trip will cost, how much $$ she will have to pay you as well as what she will be required to pay for herself while at WDW. Be sure to include any meals that your entire family will attend, snacks, etc. I would tell her all of the money is due prior to leaving for WDW. If she can afford it, it would be nice to have her along. If she can't, well - maybe next time. She is definitely an adult and responsible to pay for her own vacations, IMHO

 

[Mariposa]

Since she has asked to join your family - I would add up exactly what it will cost to add her to the trip and tell her she can join you if she pays you in advance for the total cost. I would be very specific about who pays for what - so she will know what the trip will cost, how much $$ she will have to pay you as well as what she will be required to pay for herself while at WDW. Be sure to include any meals that your entire family will attend, snacks, etc. I would tell her all of the money is due prior to leaving for WDW. If she can afford it, it would be nice to have her along. If she can't, well - maybe next time. She is definitely an adult and responsible to pay for her own vacations, IMHO

I wouldn't go so far as to require her to pay up front for snacks and meals... As you point out, she IS an adult.. and therefore is capable of budgeting that kind of thing (or going without if need be). I would, however, ask for room money and any other fixed costs up front since that just makes sense.

 

[shades]

Well - I suppose I should have written a bit more about meal money. I would let her know what table service meals/special snack (like an icecream social at the Garden Grill or desert only at a resturaunt) you are planning because they can be expensive - so she can budget that amount to join you - unless you plan on paying for these meals and/or ask for seperate checks at each meal. Since some of them have set prices - it would be easy to add to the budget.

 

[siobhan1997]

I had no idea this post would generate so many responses. \

Background: Mother contacted me by email and asked for details of park entrance fees etc. asking how much she thought her DD would need. So I emailed her back with all her questions answered.
We talk quite alot her daughter is at our house all the time ( it is her second home) and we take her and treat her constantly during the year, we even take her on weekend trips to various places.. On the other hand my DD friends parents NEVER take my DD anywhere or pay for anything. I mean nowhere!!! There have even been times when my DD has been at their home and the kids are going to the corner store to get something and she always has to call home for some us to drop off money or she will not get a treat. No they won't even give her a toonie. How fair is this? Yes, we love this little girl like she is our own, and I would certainly not see her without while on holidays. But I guess I should not be expected to keep giving and giving and having my DD receive nothing ever in return.

Now my DD can easily spend $400 at Orlando. Don't forget this is all her own birthday money that she chooses to receive in lieu of actual gifts from family members. A few Nintendo DS games can add up really quick and so can stuffed animals. On the other hand our DD knows that if she wants extra treats above and beyond the norm we will not pay for these things they are her responsibility.

 

[2giddy4wdw]

We've done this twice (2004 & 2005) before. We invited DD best friend and told her parents right up front that she needed money for tickets and spending money. We ended up giving her back 100.00 so that she would have more spending money. We also eat out at table services for dinner. We would have paid more but we were also paying for MIL and FIL. We even bought the tickets for Cirque as her Christmas present. Everything worked out great. This year (2005) offered the same deal. Well much to our surprise, she shorted us 50.00 on the ticket money. No big deal, we just decided not to give her money back. Our first day down there (we fly in from upstate NY) our room isn't ready and she doesn't have any other clothes to change into. So we go to the MK and she finds a pair of shorts (32.00), didn't have all of her money with her, so we bought them for her. She ended up wasting a lot of food (we knew she was a picky eater), which she didn't do the year before. And she had all of her money spent by the 5th day we were there and we still had 4 more days to go. Needless to say we ended up spending more money on her then we had planned. We had a great vacation so I'm sure that's all that matters. (I know that's all that matters I was in Disney)

I know this year she has picked a different friend. Same rules will apply for this one too. But this time we will be able to use the dinning plan.

IMO just set the rules up ahead of time, and things can go very smoothly!!!!

I wish someone had invited me to go when I was a kid!!!!!

 

[Jsme]

Since you invited her you should buy her ticket and her room stay and probably some of her food. I allowed my DD to invite a friend to the beach a year ago and I paid for everything. I did have to tell her that she needed to order from the dollar menu/kids meny once because I was tired of her ordering the most expensive item on the menu just to try it because mom does not allow her too. She cost me alot of money that weekend. Thus the whole reason why my kids will never take another friend on vacation with us. I thought I was prepared but I had to buy the kid loads of things. She did not pack well so I had to buy her clothes for the one cool day we had. I had to buy every meal for her. I am telling you this kid eats well and lot of it. I finally told her she would eat breakfast in the room with the rest of us or else.

 

[beattyfamily]

I'm of the mindset that if I invite one of my children's friends to come along that we would pay for everything. I'd hope that they'd send her with some spending money but would plan for them not.

On the other hand, if one of our DDs were invited, we'd insist on paying for something like the airfare or the park tickets and of course send her with spending money.

Stuff like this should be laid out upfront, before you even mention it to the child, IMHO.

We brought (invited) our niece a couple of years ago and paid for everything. For her it was a trip of a lifetime. He mother sent her with $100. They don't have much so $100 is a lot for them. She had a blast and we just treated her like a third child.

$600 seems like a fair amount plus she also paid for the airfare.

Just chiming in with my thoughts.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

Since you invited her you should buy her ticket and her room stay and probably some of her food. I allowed my DD to invite a friend to the beach a year ago and I paid for everything. I did have to tell her that she needed to order from the dollar menu/kids meny once because I was tired of her ordering the most expensive item on the menu just to try it because mom does not allow her too. She cost me alot of money that weekend. Thus the whole reason why my kids will never take another friend on vacation with us. I thought I was prepared but I had to buy the kid loads of things. She did not pack well so I had to buy her clothes for the one cool day we had. I had to buy every meal for her. I am telling you this kid eats well and lot of it. I finally told her she would eat breakfast in the room with the rest of us or else.

Good for you!

Funniest part- the ordering the most expensive item thing-my 32 year old sister in law does that to my parents everytime my parents take the family out to eat (they pay).

 

[disneychrista]

I would never be able to afford to pay for a "friends" way but also never see extending such an invitation. If I was ever to extend an invite, it would be with the full knowledge at the on set that park tickets & food/spending money would be on them. I would not expect the friend to contribute to the hotel or gas to get there, since those really won't be effected by the extra person.