How Much Should Parents Pay?

[shades]

We actually did invite my BIL & his family to join us at WDW. We booked the hotel room for them at the Shades of Green because we had to "sponsor" them. However, they paid for 100% of their trip.

It really would depend on the situation - who/which adult was invited - as to whether we would pay for any of their expenses. We have some family members who can afford to pay for their own trip - while others can't. We wouldn't invite anyone to join us that we know can't afford the trip - and that we couldn't pay for ourselves.

 

[SaraMc]

I think its diffrent if you invite adults to come with you they most of the time have jobs ect and can pay for it themselves. If you invite a child to come and be entertainment for your child then I would say that , that child who probably doesnt have a job and cant pay for themselves you would cover.
However if the parents of the child have offered to pay for the child I would take up that offer. 16 days is a long time, Disney world is expensive.
I have one nephew that I know will never go to Disneyworld because his parents dont go on vacations. When our little one is older we will more than likely invite him along. Will I ask my brother for money? No. I just want to make sure my sweet little nephew gets the chance to see the Magic of Disneyworld. If my brother offers money, yes I would take it and hint perhaps they should come along too.

 

[shades]

Let me inform you that the $600.00 is for park entrances and her fun shopping money, not for meals or food or any of that. Her parents asked me about 4 months ago how much money their daughter needed and at that time I told them around $600.00 so she could really enjoy herself. Keep in mind this is for 16 days not 7. I figured 1/2 of that for park entrances and the other 1/2 for her to spend. My DD who is 11 always goes with at least $400.00 to blow on whatever she wants. It is her holiday too. She has her birthday right before we leave every year and everyone in the family gives her money. I am finding it hard to believe that no one out there feels that the childs parents should have to pay something.

So tell me something when you as parents invite other adult family members with you, you all cover all of their costs ?

I would tell the friend's parents how much you will pay for the park pass - and ask them to pay for the remainder to cover all of the days you will be in the parks. I would also tell them how much $$ per day they may want to consider giving their child for her spending money - as well as what she will need spending money for. Maybe they are thinking $600 is for her spending money alone - which, may seem like a lot of money for a young girl to blow in 16 days.

Are you buying her an annual pass? May be cheaper then buying tickets to cover 16 days. It was for us when we went for a longgg trip last summer.

 

[ElizaB39]

Let me inform you that the $600.00 is for park entrances and her fun shopping money, not for meals or food or any of that. Her parents asked me about 4 months ago how much money their daughter needed and at that time I told them around $600.00 so she could really enjoy herself. Keep in mind this is for 16 days not 7. I figured 1/2 of that for park entrances and the other 1/2 for her to spend. My DD who is 11 always goes with at least $400.00 to blow on whatever she wants. It is her holiday too. She has her birthday right before we leave every year and everyone in the family gives her money. I am finding it hard to believe that no one out there feels that the childs parents should have to pay something.

So tell me something when you as parents invite other adult family members with you, you all cover all of their costs ?

Actually we have done both. When my SIL has come with us for 5 days to FL for a convention, she babysits for us at night when we do business dinners. We pay for all of her meals and hotel. She did pay for her airfare and spending money. However, this is also her vacation time from work, so she wants to have fun too, not just childcare. One day she went to Epcot on her own and that was on her. We make sure that since she is taking vacation time from work to help us out, she should be "compensated" in some way. That is just us. She does a lot for our kids.

I think also that when you invite a child to join you and your family on your vacation, you are giving that child an "extra" vacation for that year. Said child will likely also go with their family some where too, no? Thus I don't think you can expect the kid's family to "pay" for two vacations for their child for that year; the one family vacation in addition to the big Disney trip.

OTOH, if you are making joint vacation plans with family members, that is an entirely different scenario than just inviting one child from a family. Of course if you are inviting an entire family on a joint vacation they would pay their own way. The two scenarios are apples and oranges.

BTW, my friend's son goes on a two week travelling camping trip with a friend each summer, all paid for by the host family (I know, not the same price of a trip we are discussing here). She shops at Costco before they leave and easily provides around 150-200 worth of food for the trip and also sends spending money for her son.

Of course all of this is moot if their last name is Trump or something similar!!!

JMO

 

[Disneyglobegirl]

So tell me something when you as parents invite other adult family members with you, you all cover all of their costs ?

This is like comparing apples to oranges.

In most situations a child is invited to keep your child company and if I offered to bring a child to go with my children I would pay for everything.

Inviting adults to join you is a completely different situation. I would mention the costs upfront when inviting adults and no I would not pay the tab if they wanted to join us.

 

[punkin]

Let me inform you that the $600.00 is for park entrances and her fun shopping money, not for meals or food or any of that. Her parents asked me about 4 months ago how much money their daughter needed and at that time I told them around $600.00 so she could really enjoy herself. Keep in mind this is for 16 days not 7. I figured 1/2 of that for park entrances and the other 1/2 for her to spend. My DD who is 11 always goes with at least $400.00 to blow on whatever she wants. It is her holiday too. She has her birthday right before we leave every year and everyone in the family gives her money. I am finding it hard to believe that no one out there feels that the childs parents should have to pay something.

So tell me something when you as parents invite other adult family members with you, you all cover all of their costs ?

It seems to me that you already told her parents 4 months ago that they would have to pay $600. anything over that has to come out of your pocket because that is what you originally agreed on.

 

[Az Pirates]

My DD is just back from a Disney trip with friends.
Hers was a bit different as it was an early graduation trip and her friend (the future graduate) was allowed to invite 3 girls along.
When the invitiation was extended they said DD would need to bring $$ for all her meals/snacks and souvies. Of course we're talking high school age here - so I think they did a lot of grabbing a quick bite here and there and not many sit down family type meals, so that made sense.
The friends' family was planning on covering everything else, although when we offered extra to help with travel and hotel expenses, they gladly accepted.

I really think every situation is different. Depends on your relationship with the friends' family, what you and they can afford, etc.

I do feel it's definitely best to have everything figured out and be clear about what type of financial contribution you expect up front, even before anything is said to the child, so the parents can make a decision about whether they are comfortable with the arrangements first. Too late for that in OP's case, unfortunately.

That said, if someone invited my child on a 16 day trip to WDW I would certainly NOT expect them to cover all expenses for that length of time.

I guess what I'm not clear on in this case is if the $600 suggested earlier was meant as money the friends' daughter was to take along and use at her discretion (ie: her extra spending money) or as a contribution to be given directly to the OP. I think you need to be pretty clear about that.

Maybe it's just me... but if someone said my child should bring along X amount for spending money - I'd think that was for her to use as she chose for extra snacks, souveniers, etc. and wouldn't automatically assume that park tickets would come out of that amount as well. (kind of like the earlier posters story about her friends' grandson)

 

[Black Diamond]

So tell me something when you as parents invite other adult family members with you, you all cover all of their costs ?

Adults are a completely different story. However, if I invited them as my guests, you betcha I would pick up the tab.

It seems as though you extended an invitation, but now want them to pay. I can tell you if it I could not afford to foot the bill, the entire,bill I would not offer. But of course that is me.

Different strokes

 

[crisi]

So tell me something when you as parents invite other adult family members with you, you all cover all of their costs ?

We took my MIL and her sister a few years ago. We picked up all airfare, hotel, park tickets, and all meals when we were together (sit down dinner every day, alcohol with dinner, lunches when we were together). They picked up meals and snacks when we seperated (about four lunches and snacks) and souvieniers.

We are taking my family in 2007. Because there are more of them, and we don't have unlimited income, we are just paying for the hotel (DVC members). They will be responsible for park tickets, airfare, food, all their souvieniers, transportation to the resort (rental car, towncar).

My family has more resources than his family does. My MIL would have never been able to afford a trip, for my family it isn't a hardship (takes some planning, but not a hardship).

To keep things fair (his family/my family) we are taking my parents on a cruise this year. We are picking up the cruise, they are insisting on paying airfare.

With kids involved, I think it does depend on the ages of the kids. With my family trip we can say "you are on your own on dining" but they are all old enough to say "we don't feel going to the California Grill is a good use of our money - we are just grabbing food at Peco's Bills - we will see you tomorrow." The average eleven year old travelling with your family should probably not be running off to Pecos Bills alone and meeting you back at your hotel.

 

[NancyIL]

Last March my son was invited to go to Daytona Beach with a friend's family. We paid for the airfare, but the family paid for everything else. They stayed in a condo and cooked quite a bit. My son had spending money, but the friend's parents covered all his meals - even restaurant ones. I gave the parents a $50 gift card to their favorite restaurant as a thank you when they returned.

For March 2006, I invited the same friend to go with us (son and me) to WDW. Because of the additional expense of going to a theme park every day, I told the parents they would be responsible for airfare and theme park tickets, and I would pay for everything else. Unfortunately, to be on the same flights as us, the plane ticket is horrendously expensive (over $600), and I know *I* wouldn't be paying that much for a plane ticket if the situation were reversed.

 

[shelleyz]

I think seeing the OP told them beforehand about the $600 then that is fine. I have not been and probably wont for a while be in the situation of inviting friends seeing my boys are young right now. Like I said before it all depends on the situation.. If the friends parents really couldn't afford to pay anything, I would tell them just save for some souvies, but if I know they have money to help pay I would ask them to pay for airfare and park tickets or at least part of the park tickets. Disney isn't cheap when you add it all up.

 

[jessica52877]

Okay, this scenerio being from 11 years ago, senior year of high school. I invited a friend along for a two week trip to Disney World, this being said though, we drove from Ohio, stopping in Atlanta, staying with family, then stayed with more family in Orlando, so no hotel expenses. My dad never really said he wanted my friend to bring money but my friend and I figured out about how much he would need for park tickets and then snacks, etc. I figured my Dad would pick up the tab for all meals, which he did. But he also payed for the park tickets. I really don't know if he expected to or not, but he just did. Upon arriving home I did think a thank you was in order, which he never got, just a written one, nothing else. But he did verbally thank my father. My friend also had a job though and this was all coming out of his pocket, not his parents, they could have never afforded it. Had 4 kids! He went home with pretty much all he took with him though.

Now when I was about 20 or so I went to New York with a boyfriend and his parents, it was his birthday gift and I had never been and we joked about how much fun it would be if I could go. So he asked and they said sure BUT I was responsible for my own stuff, I was 20! I paid my own airfare and then for the extra bed in the room, as we had to get a roll away. For some reason I don't remember paying for my theatre ticket, which was extremely nice because they had only purchased 3 and his father sat by himself when we purchased the extra. We did all eat together sometimes and they paid some of the time at the nicer restaurants, at the others I contributed my fair share. Upon arriving home I sent a nice thank you. Their son actually ended up losing about $200 of my $ so I didn't add any extra gift certificate or anything, although it was eventually found and we gave them all the money as a thank you. I felt that was only fair. I had such a wonderful trip and wouldn't have been able to go if it wasn't for them.

My son is only 3, but I would fully expect if I invited someone on a trip to pay for all their expenses minus souveniers and possibly snacks, but if i was buying my son an ice cream I would surely offer one to his friend. I doubt we'll be bringing friends along too often though.

Jessica

 

[siobhan1997]

In my email to my DD friends Mother I gave her a breakdown of park entrance prices and then I told her for her DD to have a great time for 16 days I thought that around $600.00 would be a realistic amount. We will be spending 4 days at Disney parks, 2 days at Universal and also doing both waterparks and Disneyquest as an add on option to the base ticket. I guess my reason for starting this post was because I was starting to feel like she wouldn't have enough money to really enjoy herself. $300 of this will go towards the tickets and the rest will be hers. This is the first time we have allowed a friend along on one of of family vacations.
I know if it was the reverse I would probaby pay for everything as I would want to make sure my daughter had the trip of a lifetime and would not have to worry about anything.

 

[RADOPT]

In my email to my DD friends Mother I gave her a breakdown of park entrance prices and then I told her for her DD to have a great time for 16 days I thought that around $600.00 would be a realistic amount. We will be spending 4 days at Disney parks, 2 days at Universal and also doing both waterparks and Disneyquest as an add on option to the base ticket. I guess my reason for starting this post was because I was starting to feel like she wouldn't have enough money to really enjoy herself.

You can suggust that she may want to being more $$ if she is a spender, since she will have a little less $20.00 a day to spend. Give her parents links to places like the laughing place store (stuff) and mouse planet (food) so they have an idea of the prices and let her parents worry about her budget.

Quote:
Originally Posted by siobhan1997
So tell me something when you as parents invite other adult family members with you, you all cover all of their costs ? [/QUOTE]

If I invite them, I do. If we plan a vacation, we split. Our May DL trip I am paying for everyone & everything.

 

[stinkerbell2009]

I am bringing a friend to WDW in march and she is paying for her plane and park tickets, plus spending money. My parents are paying for all her food, ecxecpt snacks. We are DVC members so the resort is covered.

 

[shades]

In my email to my DD friends Mother I gave her a breakdown of park entrance prices and then I told her for her DD to have a great time for 16 days I thought that around $600.00 would be a realistic amount. We will be spending 4 days at Disney parks, 2 days at Universal and also doing both waterparks and Disneyquest as an add on option to the base ticket. I guess my reason for starting this post was because I was starting to feel like she wouldn't have enough money to really enjoy herself. $300 of this will go towards the tickets and the rest will be hers. This is the first time we have allowed a friend along on one of of family vacations.
I know if it was the reverse I would probaby pay for everything as I would want to make sure my daughter had the trip of a lifetime and would not have to worry about anything.

Well, if I were the friend's mom - I would want to know where my child would be for each of the 16 days because then I'd be able to guage how much spending money I want her to have. If I knew that $300 of the $600 was going toward tickets, I'd expect my child to have $300 to spend on whatever she wants. I'd also want to know how the $300 would be given to her - ie. divided over the days, or does she have to ask for money when she wants it. How will her $300 budget work with the person carrying the money.

If I am not told that half of the money ($300 of the $600) is going toward ticket costs, I'd assume my child has $600 to spend.

It looks like some details needs to be discussed with the friend's parents as far as how the $600 is to be spent. If my child were the friend going along on the trip - I'd want to discuss with her how much money she will have at her disposal and how she might want to spend it - ie. all of it on Disney souveniers, save some money for snacks, etc. Eleven years old is old enough for the child to keep a running total of her money - (with your help) and you can help her stay on track for spending her money how she wants.

If I were you, and concerned the child may not have enough spending money, I'd definitely talk to the friend's parents and get those details hashed out now. I've give them a fairly detailed itinerary including phone numbers where you can be contacted incase of an emergency. This will help the friend's parents determine how much spending money their child will need. Otherwise, they may be thinking she will be at WDW for 4 days & Universal for 2 days and will have $600 to blow on souveniers

 

[westjones]

It is surprising that there are people out there that would let another family pay for their child's vacation. I think just 'taking' the child is quite a gift, but I learned from this board that people really do expect others to pay their way. As my children have gotten older, I have also learned that there are many out that they will take and take and take and never off to give back. Before kids, I didn't realize this was common.

I would never invite someone else child because it is hard enough to pay for my kids to go. We are DVC members and we would have 'room' in a 2 bedroom for them to each bring a friend. And everyone would fit in our van to get there. BUT the fact that people then expect you to pay for everything once they are there has put a dead stop on the idea of my girls ever bringing a friend.

So, yes, people out there DO let others pay for thier kids and think nothing of it. I'm just glad I figured out this would be a problem before we got ourselves in this situation.

DJ

 

[shades]

So, yes, people out there DO let others pay for thier kids and think nothing of it. I'm just glad I figured out this would be a problem before we got ourselves in this situation.

DJ

I've run into this a LOT over the years - paying for other's children. I don't usually mind - unless it is one of dd's friends that I don't care for

However, they are just kids and I treat them all like I want my daughter to be treated while she is with their family. Any kid in my care is treated the same as my own. $300 is a lot of money for an 11yr old to spend on souveniers for a 6-day Disney/Universal vacation. That's why I think OP is going to need to talk to the friend's parents and let them know why the child will need more money. Surely, the child won't be expected to pay for her own snacks while OP is buying them for her own family. If so, I'd work that cost/detail out prior to the trip and just hold that portion of the money back and tell the friend's parents NOW exactly how much of the $600 is going to be given to the child to spend as she wishes. Otherwise, there may be disgruntled parents to deal with when the "friend" returns home with one Mickey t-shirt - when they thought their kid had at least $300 to spend. OP doesn't mention (unless I missed it) what they are doing for the other 10 days of the 16-day trip and whether the friend will need spending money for those days. Perhaps this needs to be detailed out for the friend's parents so they can give her more $$.

 

[WaltD4Me]

To be really honest, if I was taking someone's child somewhere for 16 days, I would definitely talk to them at least on the phone or better yet in person over email.

That aside though, I would have been sure everything was all worked out upfront with the other parent, before ever saying anything to either child about the friend coming.

My sister took one of my niece's friends with her on a trip (not to Disney)
and the friend's parent paid for her airfare and gave her spending money. My sister paid for the hotel, the friend's meals and entertainment. Theme park tickets weren't involved, but I'm pretty sure my sister would have worked out something about those if they were needed.

Theme park tickets are a big expense, I can understand wanting the friend's parent to pay for part or all of the ticket, but I don't understand how it is an issue now and wasn't all worked out and made clear from the very beginning.
It doesn't sound like things were clear to the friend's parents about tickets and spending money and it might be a little hard to spring the extra expense on them now.

 

[imsayin]

My DD who is 11 always goes with at least $400.00 to blow on whatever she wants

Not judging anyone here, but this is the budget board. What does an 11 y/o spend $400 on? We just spend 6 days in Disney, and my DD11 could barely spend her alloted $20! That was the $20 that I gave her. She had no interest in adding her own money to her spending.