How much "room & board" do you charge your adult *single* children??

[Liberty Belle]

I can't imagine charging my child room and board, especially if they're still in school. The only reason I might is if I thought they were being irresponsible with their money, but I'd put what they gave me in savings for them when they moved out.

Actually, I can't imagine charging my non-student adult child money to live with us. If they're an adult and can't afford to live on their own, then my taking their money isn't going to help any (unless, of course, I put it in savings and give it to them when they move out - but I'd tell them I was doing that so they could plan).

 

[Teacher03]

I haven't read all the responses, but I don't think there is anything wrong with charging a 19 year old for room and board if he dropped out of college. We have an agreement with our kids that they do not have to pay for anything as long as they are in school. We pay their tuition, rent, books, car insurance, cell phone bill, etc. The only thing they are or were responsible for is their own spending money. When my daughter graduated from college we helped her out until she found a job, helped her with moving expenses, and now she is completely on her own. My son is still in college and we will do the same. If he would drop out of school, he would be welcome to come home, but he would have to contribute something, even if it was a small amount.

OP, I love the idea of putting the rent into an account for him to use later on. Maybe charging him will give him the incentive to return to school. Good luck!

 

[barkley]

just thought i'de chime in.

now i'm older, so when i talk about my experience it was after i graduated highschool in '79.

my parent's household rule was so long as you were going to school FULL TIME, any earnings you made were yours free and clear (you did pay your own gas, auto insurance and repairs if you were employed). if you dropped out, graduated, opted not to go to college, or shifted to part-time schooling you were charged room and board (with the exception of summer session when you were not expected to attend if you did'nt care to). although i was unable for a very long time to find full time work in the career path i graduated from it was the expectation that i pay full room and board (reasoning-i could find full time work or multiple part time jobs to tide me over). my room and board was $300 per month. it was NOT saved to gift me with-it went to the expenses i incurred by living in their home (utilities, food, housing...). it was up front and a known expectation to me. as a result, when i was attending school and working part time i got into the habit of saving a good chunk of each paycheck because i saw how long my peers were taking to find a job post grad-i wanted to have a safety net to cover me on room/board should that happen to me upon graduation.

in hindsight i find it interesting that while mom and dad were hard and fast with this rule with me, they were not so much with any of my older brothers-they would not attend and not be charged, choose to quit a job and not consider the financial consequences cuz mom and dad would'nt charge them. i am the only one of my parent's children that has never moved back 'home' during a job loss or 'hard times'.

i had lots of friends who lived at home while in college and working part time-or lived in the dorms on mom and dad's dime while working part time with no obligation for paying any room or board. the majority did'nt save a penny, and were in for a big shock when they faced renting their own places ('it can't cost that much for utilities', 'i know my mom never paid that much to feed me', 'my landlord is such and s.o.b-i was only a week late with the rent' ...). i felt i was blessed with an education both at school and in my home.

p.s.-the highschool my dd and ds will attend has a mandatory work program for all students in attendance (private school 9th-12th)-the school ensures they line up enough jobs for all the students, and establishes a base wage/hour set up. a flat amount of their earnings (aprox 50%) HAS to go directly into the student's tuition fund (parents can't opt out for their student). the schools reasoning is 2 fold-to educate the students on the physical work that goes to paying for an education, and to provide those who will either pay for their own college educations or those who opt not to go to college with work experience that can aide them in securing employment post highschool graduation. i am very supportive of this.

 

[christineann]

I know several people whose adult children live at home ("he has ADD so he can't hold a job" or "she just can't seem to find a job she likes" or "he lost his license because of DUI's so he can't get himself to work"). There are circumstances which make living with parents necessary temporarily, but these people I know are just enabling their adult children to be irresponsible, and some of them will never leave.

 

[christineann]

teacher03 and barkley...........

 

[barkley]

I know several people whose adult children live at home ("he has ADD so he can't hold a job" or "she just can't seem to find a job she likes" or "he lost his license because of DUI's so he can't get himself to work"). There are circumstances which make living with parents necessary temporarily, but these people I know are just enabling their adult children to be irresponsible, and some of them will never leave.

count one of my sibs-in his 50's in that group. mom moved out of her home into a senior only complex and 'db' is still with her (illegaly)-even when he made good wages she never charged him a dime so his mindset is why should he work, he's 'entitled' as her 'child' to be housed and provided for

 

[Becky2005]

P.P.S. We're also considering taking the money that we charge him and putting it into a savings acount which we'll later present to him when he's either moving out, needs a new car, etc. But he won't know now that we're saving this money for him. We feel he needs to learn what it's like to have to pay for housing, food, etc.

That's what my parents did for me. They didn't let us know they were saving it though. Our deal was -- if you go to college you can live at home for free; if you don't then you are paying rent. I want to say it was $100/month?????? It might have been $200????? It was definitely cheaper than a real apartment would have been but it was done monthly.

Then when I moved out on my own, next thing I know they are handing me this envelope of cash. You would think me being the 3rd one I would have known about this as I knew about almost everything else that was coming down the line that my 2 older siblings got identical at certain times (graduation gift, etc...). I had no clue.

As of right now, that's basically my plan -- although we may need the money for the groceries depending on how big of an eater they are.

 

[Kath2003]

I asked my dad, he said 15% of my wage (including food). Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.

Seriously, though, I wouldn't expect my parents to keep me for free. They offered me free room and board throughout my 18 years of childhood, supported me through college and offered me a home and stability throughout. These are THEIR years, that they are supposed to be enjoying, and the least I could do is to compensate for the additional cost of having another person in the house. I wouldn't not pay them...

My Mum said her Dad saved her rent to pay for her wedding. I'm guessing my parents would do similarly, although I would never expect that of them.

 

[Hixski]

count one of my sibs-in his 50's in that group. mom moved out of her home into a senior only complex and 'db' is still with her (illegaly)-even when he made good wages she never charged him a dime so his mindset is why should he work, he's 'entitled' as her 'child' to be housed and provided for

That is exactly what my brother thinks. My mother thinks it is SOOOOO nice to have him there to help around the house now that her and my dad are getting older. Too bad he doesn't help. My 76 year old father still cuts the grass every week (mom says brother is busy working). She still cooks and does dishes for him (again brother is too busy working). His idea of doing dishes is to put his plate in the sink and go watch TV.

I have tried to explain to my mother that brother has to have at least a quarter million in the bank. He has worked since he was 16 and has no bills save for his car insurance. He saves every bit he can and does not really do anything. He has been working full time since he was out of high school. Has AA degree too. That makes 26 years he has worked with NO BILLS. He says he will retire early in a couple of years. Meanwhile my parents are on a fixed income and he will retire living off of them. It truly makes me crazy.

I just hope that no one here has to live with this type of situation later on. It can and does happen. I think my father knows my brother needs to get out but my mother is the one who "needs" him there.

 

[bushdianee]

I lived at home during college, worked, paid my own tuition and paid rent. I had to pay 1/4 of my take home pay I am the oldest of 8 kids and my parents always made it known that college was up to us. I think that because I was the one paying for everything I took school more seriously. It also helped that I wasn't a partier. I have never been in trouble fiancially. I did take out student loans which I was responsible for paying off Although it take me a little longer to complete college but that was due more to being diagnosed with cancer my second year than money. The way I looked at it was that it was cheaper to live at home and pay board than to be on my own. Now, my youngest sister was allowed to live at home rent free while she was in college. Plus my parents helped her out more as they were finacially able to. After she graduated and moved out she messed up her credit big time for a while. It took her a while to get out of debt. IMO the younger the person is made to be financially responsible the better off they will be.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I asked my dad, he said 15% of my wage (including food). Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.

Seriously, though, I wouldn't expect my parents to keep me for free. They offered me free room and board throughout my 18 years of childhood, supported me through college and offered me a home and stability throughout. These are THEIR years, that they are supposed to be enjoying, and the least I could do is to compensate for the additional cost of having another person in the house. I wouldn't not pay them...

My Mum said her Dad saved her rent to pay for her wedding. I'm guessing my parents would do similarly, although I would never expect that of them.

I am happy to see a younger person on this thread who finally gets it.

 

[gina2000]

I was never charged rent at home nor was my sister. As long as my son acts and lives like a responsible human being (whether in college, out of college or working), he'll live with us rent free.

 

[Merriwind]

My Dmom and Ddad did it similarly when I was younger. I got a little too interested in the partying aspect of college and wound up taking three semesters off. I had to pay $50 per month to stay home. I worked, went to community college and had to live with mom and dad's rules. I couldn't get back to college fast enough!

None of this money was saved for me. As a matter of fact, when I went back to college, I had to pay my room and board so that I had a stake in being there. I did VERY well upon my return--it was truly a learning experience.

 

[disney4us2002]

Welllll, I don't really know what we'd do in your (OP) position. We currently have a tough line approach. Our kids know that we expect they will go to a 4-yr college and we will pay for it entirely, but should they choose not to go, then they are on their own. That said, our oldest is just 18 and in his first year of school. So far, so good as he loves it and it really well 1st semester. I don't know if I'd really be able to "kick out" my son but dh is adamant that we will not enable a lazy or unmotivated child.

 

[Piecey]

I am happy to see a younger person on this thread who finally gets it.

Gee, thanks. What did I not get?

I pay rent, pay my tuition, own my car, pay my insurance and have since before I got out of high school.

 

[C.Ann]

I think your idea is a very reasonable one.. The only thing I would do differently (because it sounds as though your DS has decided that this new full-time job will be sufficient income to live on for the rest of his life) is to increase the amount that you charge him.. He needs to know exactly what it would cost to live out on his own - based on the income he has.. So - I would shoot for the equivalent of rent/utilities/and food - based on what he would need in order to pay for all of those things himself if he moved into his own apartment..

Putting it aside for him is a great idea - if you can afford it - but I would NOT make him privy to that information..

He obviously considers himself an adult and therefore should accept the responsibilities and financial obligations of any other adult..

 

[actionvaughn]

My mom and I don't have the best relationship, but she doesn't ask anything from me at all. At least not money-wise.

I'm still in college but live at home, and I work part-time too. Since I started working though, she hasn't really bought me anything other than food. I help her with bills every now and then, but it's not something that she expects every month or even asks for. When we were younger, she kept saying, "when you're 18, you're out the door!" Yeah, mom sure.

She does asks me to clean and do chores, but I have to say I'm not really up and ready to do this all the time... One day, she'll get tired and kick me out If I don't eventually clean the oven like she's been asking for weeks.

 

[Snow_White]

My parents never charged me anything, even when I was making good money....they much preferred my money going straight to my savings account rather than in their pocket (same for my husband's parents)! That way when I did move out I was able to go straight from their house to a house of my own that we put 20% down on. I will never charge my kids rent either.

 

[CEDmom]

My parents never charged me anything, even when I was making good money....they much preferred my money going straight to my savings account rather than in their pocket (same for my husband's parents)! That way when I did move out I was able to go straight from their house to a house of my own that we put 20% down on. I will never charge my kids rent either.

Unfortunately there are too many kids that blow through their paycheck because they have no accountability. I've seen it many times 1st hand. When I was done with college I had my own apt with a room mate and was barely making it paycheck to paycheck. A lot of people my age that I worked with drove new cars, went on expensive vacations and shopped a lot. They all lived at home and didn't pay anything.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I like your P.P.S. idea.