How much is your kid’s allowance?

[littleelf]

You're the parent but I completely disagree with this!!! If you miss a day at work, does your boss not give you your full weeks salary??? If you forget to do one thing at work, does your boss withhold all your pay?? No.
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If I told my boss I only felt like doing 80% of my job and would no longer do the other 20%, he might have something to say about that. It's one thing if something comes up and for some reason all the chores can't be done. With my kids, especially my youngest, it would definitely be that she didn't feel like doing particular chores and so she wouldn't. She'd be happy to take partial pay instead. No way. It's all or nothing.

 

[jensen]

I'm subbing in here because I'm really interested to know how people handle this. I agree that kids need to have money to learn how to handle it. But, I haven't yet figured out how to start giving them money.

Our kids are DS13 and DD10. For the past couple of years, we've been paying our son $5 each time he mows the lawn. It's not much of an incentive to him and we have to always be on him to do it. He said, "what do I need money for?" and it's true. He's not a kid who really wants anything. I'm not big on video games, so even though he has a Wii, we don't buy many video games... one or two for birthdays/xmas. We bought him a laptop and he plays games online, but we discourage him from wasting money on paid games. He goes to private school, so he wears a uniform and doesn't have/want a lot of other clothes. There has been a time or two where he went to a movie with a friend or a game or something and we said he could spend his own money. But, mostly he's with us and we simply don't find opportunities for him to spend his own money.

DD on the other hand... she's always asking for something... toys, games, clothes, everything she see's. Mostly I try to say no. But sometimes, I'll say she can buy it herself. And she more frequently goes to birthday parties and gets invited skating and such... times where she could spend her own money. But, of course, since she doesn't have a way to earn money (except birthday money or xmas)... Plus, she's in every sport and needs uniforms and shoes and pictures... I give her money constantly. So, I'd like a way to stem some of that.

It's almost like we need to give the younger one an allowance more than the older one...

 

[disneymommagic]

Thanks for all the replays I feel better now about the amount my kids are going to get. I set up a chart that has the chores daily that I need to mark off and decided that for each one missed I take a dollar off their allowance. So far two days in the kids are doing good it's nice to have them clean up after themselves lol.

 

[elaine amj]

I'm subbing in here because I'm really interested to know how people handle this. I agree that kids need to have money to learn how to handle it. But, I haven't yet figured out how to start giving them money.

Our kids are DS13 and DD10. For the past couple of years, we've been paying our son $5 each time he mows the lawn. It's not much of an incentive to him and we have to always be on him to do it. He said, "what do I need money for?" and it's true. He's not a kid who really wants anything. I'm not big on video games, so even though he has a Wii, we don't buy many video games... one or two for birthdays/xmas. We bought him a laptop and he plays games online, but we discourage him from wasting money on paid games. He goes to private school, so he wears a uniform and doesn't have/want a lot of other clothes. There has been a time or two where he went to a movie with a friend or a game or something and we said he could spend his own money. But, mostly he's with us and we simply don't find opportunities for him to spend his own money.

DD on the other hand... she's always asking for something... toys, games, clothes, everything she see's. Mostly I try to say no. But sometimes, I'll say she can buy it herself. And she more frequently goes to birthday parties and gets invited skating and such... times where she could spend her own money. But, of course, since she doesn't have a way to earn money (except birthday money or xmas)... Plus, she's in every sport and needs uniforms and shoes and pictures... I give her money constantly. So, I'd like a way to stem some of that.

It's almost like we need to give the younger one an allowance more than the older one...

I'm in the same boat. A while ago we paid for chores. But it ended up irritating me that my hard earned money went to things i didnt approve of at the end of the day (souvenirs, arcades, etc).

there is little my kids need to spend on. They dont care enough abt clothes yet. I could make them pay for birthday presents, but my son is the social butterfly with lots of parties and my DD only goes to 1-2 a year so it does not seem fair.

We travel a lot and I am considering making them pay for their share of activities(admission tickets), treats like ice cream, and maybe meals out. Not sure if it would be fair to them though as I make those decisions - they don't.

On the other hand, i want them to have money so I can teach them my personal philosophy of 50%+ savings and 10-20% giving. Maybe we just need to jump in and do it and sort it out later.

I'm planning to have a jar of cash in the house they can go to get money from whenever they earn it. Then when it comes time to pay, they can hand me the cash (since i always pay by CC for the points). I will also open up a bank account for them and encourage them to think of their savings as long term (car, college).

They can earn doing chores in increments of a dollar, targetting $3-5 a week. In a year they could earn about $250. With the savings/giving targets i plan to encourage, they should only have abt $100 a year to spend on whatever. I would feel comfortable with that.

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[NYCDiane]

If I told my boss I only felt like doing 80% of my job and would no longer do the other 20%, he might have something to say about that. It's one thing if something comes up and for some reason all the chores can't be done. With my kids, especially my youngest, it would definitely be that she didn't feel like doing particular chores and so she wouldn't. She'd be happy to take partial pay instead. No way. It's all or nothing.

But that's not what was happening in the other poster's post. She said "if they miss one, they get nothing"

According to your logic, if you only do 80% of your work at your job, your boss shouldn't pay you a dime. It's all or nothing, right? So if you miss something, he shouldn't pay you anything.

As for my DD.... sometimes she'll just forget to do something because she's busy with other activities. Sometimes, she's just being lazy about things. If she gets too lazy and it annoys me, I'll withhold her allowance until she gets back on the ball.

However, she knows if she does the right thing and shows responsibility and goes the extra mile, she will be rewarded with a bonus --- Just like at my old job. At the end of the month, if we reached and went over our goals, we all got a hefty bonus check.

 

[luvsJack]

I guess I am way to generous.

DD gets $30 a week. She pays for all her make up and hair essentials and she pays for whatever she does on the weekend and food during said activity. And it gives her money to purchase t-shirts and such at school.

Additionally, we have started a clothing allowance for her. For 6 months it was $X and that was all she could get and included school clothes. It has certainly helped to make her stop and think before making a purchase. She knows there is a limit and doesn't want to run out in case she finds that "has to have" item.

 

[kellia]

I guess I'm cheap, LOL!!

My sons are 10 and get $5/week. I'd raise it if they were better at doing their chores, but they still have to be reminded every day. I've told them when they can do it without me nagging, they'll get a raise, but guess they aren't that broke! They don't have too much in the way of chores, feed pets, fold their clothes, set table, take out trash, keep their room clean.

DD is 18. We stopped allowance when she got a job. But, we bought her car, pay for 1/2 her car insurance and her cell phone. I've always paid for all my kids school expenses, lunches, clothes, etc. They just have to pay for their "extras".

 

[Surfinpiratee]

I guess I am way to generous.

DD gets $30 a week. She pays for all her make up and hair essentials and she pays for whatever she does on the weekend and food during said activity. And it gives her money to purchase t-shirts and such at school.

Additionally, we have started a clothing allowance for her. For 6 months it was $X and that was all she could get and included school clothes. It has certainly helped to make her stop and think before making a purchase. She knows there is a limit and doesn't want to run out in case she finds that "has to have" item.

See, my mom gave me less than that, but she would buy me my makeup and hair things

And with the chores thing...chores were just something I was suppose to do. I wasn't going to get money for it lol. My mom would say "does someone pay me for vacuuming? No!"


And what happens when they get a job and are making their own money? They're not going to want to do chores for money! But aren't you still going to want them to do the chores?

 

[Surfinpiratee]

DD is 18. We stopped allowance when she got a job. But, we bought her car, pay for 1/2 her car insurance and her cell phone. I've always paid for all my kids school expenses, lunches, clothes, etc. They just have to pay for their "extras".

That's how it was with me. My mom always (still does lol!)bought me clothes, school things. When I was younger, the allowance was basically so I could buy little toys I wanted. when I got older, it was more for going out with friends

 

[littleelf]

But that's not what was happening in the other poster's post. She said "if they miss one, they get nothing"

According to your logic, if you only do 80% of your work at your job, your boss shouldn't pay you a dime. It's all or nothing, right? So if you miss something, he shouldn't pay you anything.
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If I refused to do part of my job, I wouldn't get paid for the part I did. I would get fired. Which is why if my kids refuse to do the chores they don't feel like doing or don't like, they don't get paid at all. They all need to be done, and they aren't optional. I don't mean I wouldn't pay them if they missed a chore because they were sick or had too much homework.

 

[CdnCarrie]

We give $1 per age per week. It's not chore based at all. Chores are done regardless of the allowance.

 

[elaine amj]

See, my mom gave me less than that, but she would buy me my makeup and hair things

And with the chores thing...chores were just something I was suppose to do. I wasn't going to get money for it lol. My mom would say "does someone pay me for vacuuming? No!"

And what happens when they get a job and are making their own money? They're not going to want to do chores for money! But aren't you still going to want them to do the chores?

By that point they typically have even more things to spend on so I imagine chores will be "easy money". I figure i will up the pay by that point to make it "worth it". If needed, we will have a discussion about how certain chores will not be optional and the pay is to sweeten the job. (All speculation until my kids hit that age!)

For my tween kids, paying for chores work for us now. I can see my son doing more than his fair share of chores (because he likes making money) and my daughter taking it easy. I'm not too worried. If my son does more, he deserves more and i''m completely oK with my son having more money. More real world application of the consequence of choices

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[CAFarmerGirl]

so do you wait for there report card and then give out the $$. I was paying per test - next year my son goes to highschool - maybe i will do money based on report card..

I do pay per report card...so my son gets 4 grade periods and my dd gets 3 pay periods (until next year when she moves up to jr high). I actually double the amount for my son because he is on a block schedule and only gets 4 grades per term (each quarter is actually equivelant to a semester).

 

[VroomFam]

Interesting discussion .

For the parents that pay for chores/household duties and grades, I am curious......

- how do keep track of the household duties they complete, so you know exactly how much you "owe" them on payday? Do you write down each time they do the dishes, feed the cat, etc., or do they keep a running total for you? I am just wondering how, if you have multiple kids especially, you keep it all straight....I could envision that becoming an administrative nightmare.

We actually had a large laminated poster that could be written on with dry erase markers. Days for 2 weeks on top, set chores on side with check boxes where they would initial if they did a task. Lines at bottom for "extras" they decided to do. I would check their work if necessary (some things were just easier to check than others), and evaluate at that time. 5 minutes a day was worth the time to teach them this - you earn, you are blessed, and you work. After a while, I trusted them and only needed random checks. Sometimes they would compete to see who could do a task first. But also I would reward bonuses for a job very well done. Reality again. No one gives money for nothing in the real world.

As they got older, we used computer tracking using excel spreadsheet. Plenty of templates already out there for free. I would pay promptly each week (when older) or sometimes that night, to reinforce work-reward.
Also, how do you avoid the "how much are you going to pay me? How much is that worth?" when you add a new expectation to the mix? How do you differentiate between an expectation and a paid chore? (I am guessing there must be SOME things that they don't get paid to do). I do only have 2 kids, but it basically took none of my time, mostly theirs. Also , some tasks were "per hour" so would write down the hours spent.

Also as they got older and needed to pay for make-up, gasoline, clothes, sodas and sports equipment, etc. - the jobs and duties became more involved and the pay was much better.

- for the grade payers, are your kids all academically inclined? This is another one that I am curious how the balance is found, simply because natural ability plays a big role here. My son can pull off an A without cracking a book, but some of his friends work harder for their high C or low B than he does (by a long shot). Do any of the parents who pay for marks have kids with special needs or learning challenges, and if so, does their payment schedule differ from your more academically blessed children?

My case is not typical. I was a high school physics teacher, my parents were teachers, my wife was an elementary teaching major before taking me on, we home schooled for the 1st 8 years of their schooling, and my kids are really adept at school work. I didn't say "bright" because I hate that word. Light bulbs are bright. Kids who don't do well in school are NOT "dull." They are challenged. And challenges CAN be good. So guess what? My daughter is better at math and science but struggles with her organizational skills. My son is super-competitive at EVERYTHING and always got A's until high school sports interfered. So we had a sliding scale based on the class subject (Physics vs choir), effort/difficulty attaining said grade, and past history. My son would actually gain nothing for B's, but for taking on honors classes, got extra. My daughter would get bonuses for all work turned in and no absences.

Unfair? Inequitable? I'm an employer now, and people get paid differently for the same job sometimes, and do get bonuses for better work. And smarter people do sometimes get more money. So the kids have to see it as a motivating factor. If my daughter had felt discriminated against, we would have sat down and come up wqith other ways to get rewarded.

And IMPORTANT! We always use what I call a "YES-YES" agreement. We both agree that the system we have worked out is fair and that both of us are willing to work hard to make it work. They basically choose what they get "gold stars" for, I come up with a value that they agree ahead of time on. We never argued in all the years we did this, and really it took not much time. Much less time than responding on this board. Most people have hundreds if not thousands of posts. I think our kids are worth more than Disney magic, even though I LOVE everything Disney!

Our DS has always known that certain household expectations are just that...expected. As a member of the home, he's part of the functioning of the home. Ditto for good grades.

Sounds like you have this mastered. Our daughter would have done well in this system. My son would not. He is self-motivated but for external rewards - basketball trophies, straight A's and honor roll, praises from pretty girls. Communal responsibilities and pride for a job well done? Not so much

Because he's always had a little bit of cash allotted to him, he knows how to handle money better than most young men I know. He's abided by the "pay yourself first" philosophy right since his first paycheque, and a portion of his pay goes to his education savings without me even having to remind him. Assuming all goes as planned, he *should* graduate debt-free from college (he starts his first year in September 2014). He has learned to budget for larger purchases (and trips, and Christmas shopping) well in advance, and always retains a healthy emergency fund. I can only hope he finds a wife some day who is as smart about saving as he is .

Good luck with that! It seems like he is smart enough, but love does crazy things!

 

[hsmamato2]

now, the one reason I NEEDED my kids to have their own discretionary money to spend was b/c I didn't want oversight as to HOW they spent it...KWIM? This needed to be about their choices with their own money. If I was handing it randomly out of my pocket when they asked, strings would be attached...I'd have to ask why,for what,etc etc.
For them both, about once a month,here's your $$$ spend it how you like was the best teacher we could provide. Save some,give some,blow some on stupid stuff all concluded the same, at the end of the month, they were either broke, or needing more than they had..... best budget teacher around! And we purposely made sure the amounts were UNDER what they absolutely wanted.....this way they had no choice but to stop and think,and SAVE if they wanted more.
DS2 who gets the 'commission based' payments(jobs at 1.00 apiece) has learned that more jobs finished=more checked off on that list=what he wants sooner.
BTW, there are certain jobs he is 'paid' for...extra things that we parents used to do, but as the kids got older, we gave them to the kids(at 1.00 each)like the dishes,washing the dog,etc.
There are also plenty of jobs that get done just because in our house, and we have made clear the differences. Bring in the groceries and put away? part of life, we all eat here. Wash the dog, b/c Mom is busy? 1.00 on the list....Clean up after yourself in kitchen? part of life..... Doing a honking huge pile of family dishes after dinner? 1.00 b/c Mom likes it better this way
Wipe down the bathroom once a week? part of life...Empty the compost bucket? 1.00 b/c well, you get it now.....
So we don't have any issue with him feeling like he needs to paid for everything,but he knows that certain jobs are his daily,and he can count on that 'income' if he does them.

 

[ShayBells]

When I was a kid I hated allowance cause it was never enough and I wouldn't get anymore. But if I didn't have allowance I'd ask for money randomly and get it haha.

Mostly we got money depending on how good out grades were though.

20 for straight As and it went down from there.

This was 15 years ago so 20 for the month was good.

But it did make me work harder in school.

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[Surfinpiratee]

Kinda random but just a thought. Parents giving their child an allowance is suppose to teach them to manage and the value of a dollar. I honestly don't think I learned that until I got my own job. Haha

 

[ShayBells]

Kinda random but just a thought. Parents giving their child an allowance is suppose to teach them to manage and the value of a dollar. I honestly don't think I learned that until I got my own job. Haha

I didn't learn that until I had bills to pay lol

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[momx2]

My DD almost 16 gets $100 per month at the beginning of the month. She pays for her makeup, social activities and clothes I don't want to buy.

My DD 12 gets $60 per month and pays for the same things.

I buy their basic (probably a little more than that) clothing and I buy the school lunches.

Probably going to have to rethinking as I am buying oldest DD a car and she will be working some. So, she may have to start earning her own spending money. Just hard for her to work with school and year round soccer.

 

[Gina-Gina-Bo-Bina]

Most people have hundreds if not thousands of posts. I think our kids are worth more than Disney magic, even though I LOVE everything Disney!

This part I don't understand in relation to the allowance discussion.

Help?