How much is too much?

[needtoplan]

I too was shocked by the extensive/expensive lists on the teenage daughter thread.
I have a 4 yr old DS- I buy him a lot of gifts- which I felt bad about on a previous thread- but his gifts, including stocking, normally don't add up to more than $150 max. (I am all about good deals)
I don't think for a minute he will remember next year all the gifts that he gets, BUT he will remember that I spent time with him and tried to do special things.

This is what we do special- we go through Christmas decorations together, we listen to Christmas music and decorate the tree together, Nearly every night in the month of December we watch a Christmas movie or Christmas cartoon and make a special something (popcorn, hot chocolate, cookies, brownies, etc.) to munch on during the show, we drive around and look at Christmas lights, we make Christmas crafts together, we sing Christmas carols together, we make Christmas craft gifts for others together (your daughter could make candy cane rudolphs to give to her friends), we read Christmas books together (you and your daughter could read Dickens Christmas Carol together it's different than the movies. ) We attend special church music productions, we attend the city lighting displays, and I don't know what else- seems something every day for a month.

My hope is that you have a wonderful Christmas with your family and enjoy each other because at the end of the day stuff is not important.

 

[Colleen27]

Personally, I think it is too much if you're running up the credit card bills to do it. Otherwise it is just an individual choice, not one that I'd make but not one I judge either.

But I'll admit to reading some of those threads and wanting to hug my teen - I've never gotten $1000+ worth of "wist list" out of any of my kids, much less given that much. We usually keep the Christmas budget to around $1000 for all three combined. Lately it seems like their wants come to $200-300 per child and we don't buy all of that because we have to save an idea or two for my mother and MIL. This year, my teen is asking for a pair of Turtle Beach wireless headphones w/ built-in mic, Halo 4, Call of Duty 2, glow in the dark duct tape, and Xbox points. He's got a January birthday and I know we'll have a hard time getting enough ideas out of him to cover both occasions.

 

[BeachLove]

This is a budget board and different families will have a different budget. Some groups will be shocked at $1000 on gifts and others will consider it within their budget or even low cost. I don't feel like the budget board was meant to only cater to a certain income level. I use this board to find deals on gifts and a few other things. No one should be criticized for spending $1000 on I Pads and no one should be criticized for feeding a family of 4 on $20 /week.

 

[dsneprincess]

Our family makes a pretty elaborate gingerbread display every Christmas. I get the premade kits at Michaels or AC Moore with a coupon. We don't usually decorate as per the package, but to a theme. One year was Harry Potter,another a Christmas Tree lot. We spend time together creating our "masterpiece". Sometimes we will use up our odd candy stuff out of the cupboard to make "goofy" extras.

I have also seen pretzel kits around for between $5 & $10. Maybe a make pretzel party? I think we are going to try this as I think the rolling & twisting part is going to be hilarious!! We are not as into "perfect" as we are "silly". I hope you have a successful day with your kids!

 

[Lollipop's Mom]

We have had our lean xmas years, but I work hard and have no debt, so splurge at Xmas. I love the holidays and we have fun traditions as well. We also sponsor a local family each year because I was actually sponsored about ten years ago. My daughter doesn't expect anything. She has asked for Abercrombie stuff and a ps3. That's it!

 

[4GoofyCrew]

$100 a kid here. And we take each of them shopping to pick out a Toys for Tots gift, so a 'stranger' actually ends up getting a good fraction of what our own kids get.

It isn't about stuff. If you make it about stuff at a young age it will always be about stuff. Christmas is about LOVE. The GIFT of love. Sorry if that sounds corny to someone who spends $1000s but it is the truth. We could spend more but prefer to keep the focus right where it should be.

(Besides...more money for Disney that way... )

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

This kind of thread pops up every time there is a gift-giving occasion. Some people fill Easter baskets with candy while others buy their kids bikes and Wiis. Some people buy their kids toys and electronics all year, while others buy only at Christmas and birthdays. Some use Christmas to give things they would have to buy anyway, like a laptop for school.

The Budget Board is about doing the most with your money, living within your means, and finding a budget that works for your family. It is not necessarily about finding the cheapest items, but more about finding the best price for the item you want to buy and being able to pay for it without going into debt.

Everyone has a different income, different responsibilities, and therefore a different amount of disposable income to spend on gifts. Some people prefer to stay club level at GF with the deluxe DDP while others prefer staying at a value and bringing granola bars or Pop-Tarts for breakfast (and those choices are not necesssarily based on disposable income). Each family values things differently, and it is easy to judge someone who spends more than you do.

People can spend money on their kids and still adopt an angel, work at homeless shelters, enjoy movie nights and game nights, and understand the true meaning of Christmas. Kids who get laptops and iPads are not necessarily more spoiled than kids who don't. They can still be good students, good friends, good role models, and appreciative human beings.

It is much easier to buy several gifts for a 4 year old for $150 than to buy several gifts for a teen for $150. Many of the items I am buying weren't asked for - they are things I think my kids will enjoy and appreciate.

 

[dustysky]

My fondest memories are making/decorating cookies on Christmas Eve. My mom would make the dough earlier in the day. In the evening we would roll it out and cut the cookies. My dad would always make a 2 headed gingerbread man. Once the cookies cooked, we would decorate them. It usually took 2 hours making and decorating them. We had Christmas music in the background and the whole family around the kitchen island. Before bed my brother and I would pick the best ones and put them out for Santa.

I remember the cookies more than I remember the presents. You don't need expensive gifts to make memories your children will cherish the rest of their lives.

I did see some "pre" packaged gingerbread houses, I think ill look into that also Thank you

 

[dustysky]

I think that the amount of money families spend on holiday gifts is their business. If you can afford it, spend what you like. I'm not sure what's up with these threads criticizing parents who spend a lot on gifts. It doesn't mean they aren't good parents who don't know the "true" meaning of Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate) or don't spend quality time with their children. There is always going to be someone with more money than you. Why would you care what they do with it?

No place did I EVER say the people that go over and above are bad parents, that they don't spend time with their kids or that they don't know the meaning of Christmas.
In fact I said up until last year when my husband passed away we also bought large gifts for our kids. If it meant I stood in line all day on Thanksgiving to get cheap laptops then I did that.
This year when my daughter goes back to school and gets to see and hear about all the new "extreme" gifts her peers got I will feel like a bad parent, I will not be saying "oh-those bad parents who went over board are horrible".
Was I surprised to see that every child in the other thread was getting Ugg boot YES! But I also live in Florida, maybe if boots where a priority, I might see then need. Either way I still doubt I would be paying $250. and up for a 12 year olds boots. (JUST ME).

 

[CammelleandBre]

This kind of thread pops up every time there is a gift-giving occasion. Some people fill Easter baskets with candy while others buy their kids bikes and Wiis. Some people buy their kids toys and electronics all year, while others buy only at Christmas and birthdays. Some use Christmas to give things they would have to buy anyway, like a laptop for school.

The Budget Board is about doing the most with your money, living within your means, and finding a budget that works for your family. It is not necessarily about finding the cheapest items, but more about finding the best price for the item you want to buy and being able to pay for it without going into debt.

Everyone has a different income, different responsibilities, and therefore a different amount of disposable income to spend on gifts. Some people prefer to stay club level at GF with the deluxe DDP while others prefer staying at a value and bringing granola bars or Pop-Tarts for breakfast (and those choices are not necesssarily based on disposable income). Each family values things differently, and it is easy to judge someone who spends more than you do.

People can spend money on their kids and still adopt an angel, work at homeless shelters, enjoy movie nights and game nights, and understand the true meaning of Christmas. Kids who get laptops and iPads are not necessarily more spoiled than kids who don't. They can still be good students, good friends, good role models, and appreciative human beings.

It is much easier to buy several gifts for a 4 year old for $150 than to buy several gifts for a teen for $150. Many of the items I am buying weren't asked for - they are things I think my kids will enjoy and appreciate.

Very well said!!

 

[dustysky]

Needtoplan, thank you all great ideas!

 

[Mary*Poppins]

People can spend money on their kids and still adopt an angel, work at homeless shelters, enjoy movie nights and game nights, and understand the true meaning of Christmas. Kids who get laptops and iPads are not necessarily more spoiled than kids who don't. They can still be good students, good friends, good role models, and appreciative human beings.

It is much easier to buy several gifts for a 4 year old for $150 than to buy several gifts for a teen for $150. Many of the items I am buying weren't asked for - they are things I think my kids will enjoy and appreciate.

ITA with the above!

 

[rsschneck]

This kind of thread pops up every time there is a gift-giving occasion. Some people fill Easter baskets with candy while others buy their kids bikes and Wiis. Some people buy their kids toys and electronics all year, while others buy only at Christmas and birthdays. Some use Christmas to give things they would have to buy anyway, like a laptop for school.

The Budget Board is about doing the most with your money, living within your means, and finding a budget that works for your family. It is not necessarily about finding the cheapest items, but more about finding the best price for the item you want to buy and being able to pay for it without going into debt.

Everyone has a different income, different responsibilities, and therefore a different amount of disposable income to spend on gifts. Some people prefer to stay club level at GF with the deluxe DDP while others prefer staying at a value and bringing granola bars or Pop-Tarts for breakfast (and those choices are not necesssarily based on disposable income). Each family values things differently, and it is easy to judge someone who spends more than you do.

People can spend money on their kids and still adopt an angel, work at homeless shelters, enjoy movie nights and game nights, and understand the true meaning of Christmas. Kids who get laptops and iPads are not necessarily more spoiled than kids who don't. They can still be good students, good friends, good role models, and appreciative human beings.

It is much easier to buy several gifts for a 4 year old for $150 than to buy several gifts for a teen for $150. Many of the items I am buying weren't asked for - they are things I think my kids will enjoy and appreciate.

Very well said.

 

[MinnieForMe]

This kind of thread pops up every time there is a gift-giving occasion. Some people fill Easter baskets with candy while others buy their kids bikes and Wiis. Some people buy their kids toys and electronics all year, while others buy only at Christmas and birthdays. Some use Christmas to give things they would have to buy anyway, like a laptop for school.

The Budget Board is about doing the most with your money, living within your means, and finding a budget that works for your family. It is not necessarily about finding the cheapest items, but more about finding the best price for the item you want to buy and being able to pay for it without going into debt.

Everyone has a different income, different responsibilities, and therefore a different amount of disposable income to spend on gifts. Some people prefer to stay club level at GF with the deluxe DDP while others prefer staying at a value and bringing granola bars or Pop-Tarts for breakfast (and those choices are not necesssarily based on disposable income). Each family values things differently, and it is easy to judge someone who spends more than you do.

People can spend money on their kids and still adopt an angel, work at homeless shelters, enjoy movie nights and game nights, and understand the true meaning of Christmas. Kids who get laptops and iPads are not necessarily more spoiled than kids who don't. They can still be good students, good friends, good role models, and appreciative human beings.

It is much easier to buy several gifts for a 4 year old for $150 than to buy several gifts for a teen for $150. Many of the items I am buying weren't asked for - they are things I think my kids will enjoy and appreciate.

Perfectly said!

Can you imagine if someone from a true budget board started reading the threads on here? They would probably say "why do these people waste their money on Disney every year when they could be saving it in their IRA's etc"?
We all budget to vacation not because it's necessary but because it's important to us. The same can be said for almost everything you spend money on that is not a necessity so why judge someone on their Christmas decisions.

 

[Mel522]

I did see some "pre" packaged gingerbread houses, I think ill look into that also Thank you

I purchased a pre packaged gingerbread house from target for my niece last year, and she loved it. I did notice that some of the houses in the box were cracked, so just make sure you check before you buy it. It took me 4 boxes to find one.

You could also make Graham Cracker houses.

 

[Donnainnj]

I am so sorry for you loss.

Every Christmas Eve when we get together with my family I buy everyone in attendance a little Nerf like (Tek) gun (3 for $6.99 at Target) and we have a Nerf war. We get more laughs and fun out of those $2.33 toys then so many other more expensive gifts. With kids the ages of yours I could see this really going over. Another option might be to have a pot luck Yankee trade http://www.menconi.com/games/yankee.html or ornament exchange with a group of their friends, your friends, Family, or all of the above. .

 

[ajh88]

This kind of thread pops up every time there is a gift-giving occasion. Some people fill Easter baskets with candy while others buy their kids bikes and Wiis. Some people buy their kids toys and electronics all year, while others buy only at Christmas and birthdays. Some use Christmas to give things they would have to buy anyway, like a laptop for school.

The Budget Board is about doing the most with your money, living within your means, and finding a budget that works for your family. It is not necessarily about finding the cheapest items, but more about finding the best price for the item you want to buy and being able to pay for it without going into debt.

Everyone has a different income, different responsibilities, and therefore a different amount of disposable income to spend on gifts. Some people prefer to stay club level at GF with the deluxe DDP while others prefer staying at a value and bringing granola bars or Pop-Tarts for breakfast (and those choices are not necesssarily based on disposable income). Each family values things differently, and it is easy to judge someone who spends more than you do.

People can spend money on their kids and still adopt an angel, work at homeless shelters, enjoy movie nights and game nights, and understand the true meaning of Christmas. Kids who get laptops and iPads are not necessarily more spoiled than kids who don't. They can still be good students, good friends, good role models, and appreciative human beings.

It is much easier to buy several gifts for a 4 year old for $150 than to buy several gifts for a teen for $150. Many of the items I am buying weren't asked for - they are things I think my kids will enjoy and appreciate.

This. There just isn't an answer to how much is too much - it is different for everyone. There have been years when $100 was too much for us to spend on Christmas and this year, we could theoretically spend thousands (although we won't). The quantity and/or cost of the gifts under the tree may have varied over the years, but our Christmas traditions have not.

My DH and I typically don't spend much money on each other (yes, he is getting something more expensive this year from the proceeds of great ebay sales) - we spend it on DD instead. However, my sister and her DH get each other expensive gifts every year (for example, this year, she got him an iPad). To each their own.

OP, I am sorry for the loss your family experienced this year. I'm sure your kids will appreciate simply the fellowship of being together. Others have offered great advice. You might also check out some savings sites (I like Hip2Save) - they help identify deals and sales to help you get the most bang for your buck.

 

[crazydaisy00]

Some of my favorite gifts from Christmas were more sentimental. My sister passed away 8 years ago from cancer at the age of 28 so that year I took a childhood photo of us, which my mom had mentioned was her favorite, and had a heart shaped necklace the picture was engraved in. I havent used this company but gives you an idea of what I mean http://www.photoengraving-f2f.com/index.php I had hers made at Wal Mart the cost including necklace was around $100. One of my favorite gifts after my sister passed away was when my brother in law gave all the girls in my family one of her shirts and a pair of her socks! Some people may think thats odd but we all love to wear crazy socks and just having something of hers made everyone appreciate the gift way more than anything you could buy!
After my dad passed away a few years ago my uncle gave me one of his guns (my dad was an avid gun collector) this meant a lot to me.
My family has spent a few holidays going through old photos and curled up on the couch watching home videos, we have lost a lot of loved ones over the years so these videos are pricless. This gave us something we all needed and helped us have their memory with us. Actually this is also how my kids found out my dad and uncle always played Santa when they were younger there was a video where they were videoing dressing up as Santa that I never knew existed and I cant express the joy it brought to me and my kids (even though they were schocked it was him all those years)!
A few other gifts I have made was I took the picture of my dad and sister dancing at her wedding and had a photo store crop them out and place them on clouds which I made 8X10's for everyone in the family, we have made shirts and blankets with our favorite pictures as well, I also made a digital photo frame for my grandmother once and had a variety of pictures with family / friends throughout the years!
I hope sharing this with you maybe gives you an idea that your kids will love and have forever which beats any electronic you could buy!

 

[Halbleib1]

Personally, I think it is too much if you're running up the credit card bills to do it. Otherwise it is just an individual choice, not one that I'd make but not one I judge either.

But I'll admit to reading some of those threads and wanting to hug my teen - I've never gotten $1000+ worth of "wist list" out of any of my kids, much less given that much. We usually keep the Christmas budget to around $1000 for all three combined. Lately it seems like their wants come to $200-300 per child and we don't buy all of that because we have to save an idea or two for my mother and MIL. This year, my teen is asking for a pair of Turtle Beach wireless headphones w/ built-in mic, Halo 4, Call of Duty 2, glow in the dark duct tape, and Xbox points. He's got a January birthday and I know we'll have a hard time getting enough ideas out of him to cover both occasions.

I don't know if you are aware or not but if you sign up and use bing as your search engine you can earn bing points for every search you do up to a certain amount per day. You than can redeem your bing points for xbox points. If you have more than one computer in the home you can have different accounts so that you can earn points even faster. My husband and I both do this on our laptops and he has gotten alot of points this way. We refuse to buy the points so this is a great way to get them free.

 

[LostSock]

I am 24 and for the past 4 years my mom has been unemployed, taking care of my disabled father. Before then, even with her part time jobs, I never asked for much because I had my own job since I was 15. I can't imagine anybody spending $1000 on any one person. Those people are just in a way different socio-economic class than me! That is LITERALLY more money than my entire Disney World Vacation budget!!

The past 4 years, my parents bought me either shampoo or body wash of my choice. (I always feel guilty buying $6 Olay or $5 shampoo when I could buy $1 suave) My mom also always fills up a stocking with chocolates or little dollar store goodies! I love all the surprises!! The men in the family get similar items but in man-versions. I notice that young men always need man-scented body wash, and shaving supplies!

Is there anything they have been NEEDING? Young adults don't always need the newest electronic gadgets. My parents have come into some money this year and are buying me a comforter or queen size quilt!! I am excited and feeling really blessed this year!

I think a cool gift would be movie ticket gift cards. Going to see a movie in theaters is very expensive and a true luxury! Does your 13 year old like crafts? You can get really cool craft kits at JoAnns and Michaels with 40% coupons. When I was a teenager, I liked to make soap, scrapbook, draw, paint, make jewlery, make fimo-clay beads, knit on a loom, and cake decorating. These are all pretty cheap and she could invite her friends over to help! One time I got a kit to make lip gloss. I loved that! Books are always a cheap and practical gift. Book stores always have a ton of cool gift ideas! Has she read the Kingdom Keepers series yet?! PC games are pretty cool too. There are a lot of cheap (&educational) PC games you can't play on the major consoles. Does she like to go to the mall? Get $5 - $10 gift cards to a few of her favorite stores in the mall and go on a "shopping spree." After Christmas sales are the best!