Here's the deal...
I've debated with myself on whether or not to include this in my PTR, but I am using this to help me pass the time before my trip, and it does involve Disney...
Feel free to skip through this if you'd rather not be bored.
I posted earlier in this PTR about discovering one of my students with the book "The Kingdom Keepers." I had never heard of this book and was very excited to read something about the Magic Kingdom that was fiction. I ordered it from
Amazon, and it arrived late last week. I've only been able to get through 5 chapters of this book, and let me tell you, it is quite ridiculous.
Here's my recap of chapters 1-5:
Basically there's this boy named Finn who's chosen to become a DHI (Disney Host Interactive). This means a holographic image of him will be available to guide groups through the MK. (Yeah, like there wouldn't be obscene lines of people waiting for that service!) Finn learns (through a dream) about a sinister plot to overtake the MK and must rally up the other 4 DHIs (all middle schoolers) to go to sleep at the same time so they may learn more about the evil plot from an old guy. Yeah, that's the gist of it.
Here's my more detailed observations/complaints/WTH?s about this piece of writing that we may loosely call a "book":
Chapter 1: (Dream sequence where Finn finds himself in MK)
*Chip and Dale are only 4 feet tall??? Who wears their costumes then?
*Ridley Pearson (the author) is all about the use of sentence fragments: "His ability to stay here. To return."
*How original---The people trying to take over the park are called...you guessed it...the Overtakers.
*Isn't Tom Sawyer too young to be smoking? Especially in a Disney park?
*"The moon seemed to be laughing at him." WTH?
Chapter 2: (Finn at school---real time)
*Ridley has cut and dry ideas on gender differences---All middle school girls have stickers of movie stars ON their locker doors while the boys all have pro athletes. Who, by the way, will be scraping the sticker gunk off these locker doors at the end of the year?
*Pearson is also very sensitive to all body types: "Dillard ate enough for two kids and had the body to show for it."
*Finn thinks British people sound like pompous snobs. Well, how pompous of him.
*Evidently at Finn's school, you can be up to 10 min. tardy for class before you get into trouble.
*Finn's mother is money hungry and loading on the pressure for Finn to try out for the DHI position. "You can't get any 'cooler' than Disney World," she tells him. Way to go mom! She's probably just getting him ready for all the peer pressure he'll have to endure in high school. Right?
*Disney puts ridiculous conditions on the real Finn vs. the hologram Finn
*The Finnster is quite arrogant. "Mom, this is me we're talking about. Of course they'll take me." DUH! (He's talking about whether or not he'll get the DHI position.)
*Pearson goes out of his way to make the DHI group of kids diverse, and then he totally stereotypes them:
*The blond girl is beautiful.
*The Asian girl is smart, but Fin's not interested in her looks.
*The African American boy is Baptist and lives with his aunt b/c his
parents are inexplicably absent.
*Poor Philby, the possibly British (and proabably pompous)/Australain/or
New Zealander doesn't get much of an intro.
*The DHIs are filmed in a soundstage at MGM. See, something DOES shoot there! (DHI sounds too close to DHS. Just noticed that.)
Chapter 3: (Finn at school---making plans)
*Finn makes a continuous effort to let us know he's not big on girls, but then he keeps noticing them and describing how they look.
*The DHI kids spent ALL DAY filming together, but Finn has no idea what their full names are or where they go to school even.
*Conveniently, a girl at school that Finn thinks is hot, Amanda, has a parent that works at MGM, 'cause, you know, "Many of the students' parents had something to do with one of the parks."
Chapter 4: (Sneaking into the MK with Amanda)
*FYI, even though Finn's not big on girls, Amanda's wearing hip huggers and a shirt that exposed her belly button. Maybe her parents were already at work at MGM when she stepped out of the house in that outfit.
*Finn's great idea: Take pics of all the DHI holograms at the MK (would they even show up in pics?) and travel around to all the other schools in the area searching for the kid in the pic. Quite the time saver, that Finn.
*Side note: Finn is not allowed in the park unless he's in full disguise and has prior approval. Whatever.
*Would you get into a monorail with someone who just said, "I'm not stabbing girls in showers or anything?" Maybe those hip huggers are squeezing all the sense out of Amanda's brain.
*Awwww, young love, "When she laughed, it reminded him of bells."
*Finn and Amanda make the observation that parents allowing their children to walk through the DHI holograms is disrespectful. Apparently lying to your parents about where you're going and stealing your father's camera is not disrespectful.
*CMs hunt Finn down in the MK. That doesn't sound too magical. Are we sure Disney approved this book?
*Coincidentally, Finn finds the same outfit his DHI wears in the Emporium and uses it as a disguise to escape the CMs.
*Finn's sad to leave his Devil Rays cap behind. He clearly must not follow baseball too closely.
*Finn and Amanda have a prearranged plan to meet up at the exit to the HM. Natch!
*Just when the book might get interesting, and Finn and Amanda may get to run around behind the scenes in the HM, they leave through the chicken exit.
*The fact that there's a chicken exit BLOWS Finn's mind. You'd think a good DHI would know these things.
*After their HM escape from the CMs, they don't even stop at CHH for an Anchor's Aweigh sandwich. A true travesty!
Chapter 5: (Bothering Brad at MGM)
*"From the MK, Amanda and Finn had ridden a bus to the TTC." Can you even do that?
*Finn full-on extorts info out of Brad (the director of the DHI shoot in MGM)
*"He (Finn) saw something behind her (Amanda's) eyes, as if she knew something more than she was letting on. Or was that just another girl trick?" Yes, Finn, that and hip huggers complete the repertoire of girl tricks.
Now, if you were able to get through all of that and make sense out of any of it, I'm impressed.
Is he crazy? We HAD that reservation! Here's hoping that when I call back in a minute they won't laugh at me AGAIN! 
Thanks for the info. We won't be needing the stores to be open. Disney will already have us in the poor house by the time we get to WS!
...
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"What?"
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, I went to work this morning only to hear good news from my TA stepmom. The cruise we're (I'm) interested in (Oct. 22nd, 2009 Wonder) was cheaper than I thought! 
I won't hold it against you...I can't vouch for The Others though (there is my Lost reference for the night).
You know what this means, don't you? You get to plan another trip! Happy dance! Happy dance! The more I research, the more I have decided that our family just HAS to go cruising in the fall of 2009.
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Gotta love the $1 section!
