How long do they believe????

[disfan07]

I think the difference is actually believing and just pretending that you believe.

I think that if your child knows for a fact that he is not real but still chooses to believe in him (actual santa or the spirit of santa) that is different form truly believing that he is real.

I think that at 12, the majority of kids KNOW that he is not real but might still choose to BELIEVE in him or the SPIRIT of santa. That doesn't mean that they still think he's real....that just means that they still believe. To me, there is a difference.

I know that the Disney characters aare not real but I still believe in the magic of the Disney characters. So that is still believing

Hopefully this makes sense...lol. Sometimes my mind works until I have to actually say what I am thinking

(Also....this is coming form someone who doesn't celebrate christmas so take it with a grain of salt)

 

[nicki.momof3]

Geez, for god sake, people be nice!! Stop attacking her. If you read the above, Hannathy never said that Santa doesn't exist! She talked to the kids about not being nasty and not to ruin it for the younger kids who still believe.

She did not say that she told them but she did say she pulled all the 4th grade students aside and told them not to pick on the younger kids that still believed. By saying that she was telling the 4th graders there was no Santa.

If a certain individaul student is teasing and picking on a younger student that individual student should have been dealt with not the entire class.

She did not have to say "santa does not exist" but by saying "don't ruin it for the little kids" she was confirming / saying he did not exist.

Teachers have to watch everything they say.

Also her whole attitude that a child is devementally delayed because they might believe longer than most kids is unprofessional and rude.

I think she deserves all the flames she gets.

 

[Dreamin Disney]

I think it depends on how well the parents do at cultivating the fantasy for their child. Some children just want to believe and they have no desire to know the truth. It is too much fun to believe in Santa! Even if they know the truth deep down ... Why not continue to enjoy the fun that believing brings? To each his own ...

 

[abcboys]

My oldest questioned it at 8 and my middle read it in a book and questioned it last year at 7. When they asked I told both of them the truth. My 8 year old will still write letters to santa and tell me he doesn't know what he's gonna ask santa for christmas. Even though he knows the truth he still likes to pretend santa. We still play along for the 5 year old.

This is just me but I would never let my kids believe at 12 years old. I would tell them the truth way before then. I think believing in santa is cute but its more a little kid thing to me. I do have a nephew that last year at 12 years old in 6th grade really did still believe. He's not mentally handicapped but does have other psychological problems and that may be why.

 

[luvsJack]

My oldest questioned it at 8 and my middle read it in a book and questioned it last year at 7. When they asked I told both of them the truth. My 8 year old will still write letters to santa and tell me he doesn't know what he's gonna ask santa for christmas. Even though he knows the truth he still likes to pretend santa. We still play along for the 5 year old.

This is just me but I would never let my kids believe at 12 years old. I would tell them the truth way before then. I think believing in santa is cute but its more a little kid thing to me. I do have a nephew that last year at 12 years old in 6th grade really did still believe. He's not mentally handicapped but does have other psychological problems and that may be why.

But, you see there is no reason to tell them. When a child is ready (barring any mental handicap, like your nephew) to let go of believing, they will. Why tell them just because YOU think its a little kid thing? Sounds like your 8 year old WANTS to be a "little kid" just a little longer so what would it have hurt to allow him to continue to believe?

Now, don't get me wrong; I don't think he will be harmed in anyway by not believing in Santa past 8. I just don't see the harm in letting them believe.

 

[abcboys]

But, you see there is no reason to tell them. When a child is ready (barring any mental handicap, like your nephew) to let go of believing, they will. Why tell them just because YOU think its a little kid thing? Sounds like your 8 year old WANTS to be a "little kid" just a little longer so what would it have hurt to allow him to continue to believe?

Now, don't get me wrong; I don't think he will be harmed in anyway by not believing in Santa past 8. I just don't see the harm in letting them believe.

I guess there is no harm in it, it just feels weird to me. I do feel like I am lying to my kids and I think a normal 12 year old should know the truth. I think its awesome my 8 year still "pretends" to believe but really knows the truth. It's all about using his imagination and half the fun is still pretending. Besides I think its fun having the older kids know, and they can help pretend santa for the youngest

 

[abcboys]

The book my 8 year old read last year was Superfudge and he said it told him the truth about Santa in there and I just confirmed it. I had always said when they straight up asked me the truth I will tell them.

 

[crisi]

Personally, for our family there is harm in encouraging a lack of skepiticism. They may be good for other families, but here, no. We raise skeptics and critical thinkers. Not believers in fairytales. I respect your right to raise your kids how you see fit and encourage them to believe however you want, but I wouldn't want my kids to believe at 10 or 12. Playing along....sure....pretending to believe...sure....buying into the "spirit of Christmas" ...sure. Having faith a fat man in a red suit leaves them presents....that wouldn't fly in our house.

 

[waltskids]

When I taught 3rd grade (about 6 years ago) it was split about 50/50 in the kids that believed and the kids that don't. As a middle school teacher there are still 6th, 7th and 8th graders who 'say' Santa is real. A 6th grade boy in my homeroom recently asked me if Santa was real and I said 'He comes to our house.' I wasn't sure if he was serious or joking so I didn't want to 'go there' with that discussion. We are a religious family who is teaching our children about the concept of Santa. For us it works!

 

[disneypharm]

She did not say that she told them but she did say she pulled all the 4th grade students aside and told them not to pick on the younger kids that still believed. By saying that she was telling the 4th graders there was no Santa.

If a certain individaul student is teasing and picking on a younger student that individual student should have been dealt with not the entire class.

She did not have to say "santa does not exist" but by saying "don't ruin it for the little kids" she was confirming / saying he did not exist.

Teachers have to watch everything they say.

Also her whole attitude that a child is devementally delayed because they might believe longer than most kids is unprofessional and rude.

I think she deserves all the flames she gets.

Wow! Then Merry Christmas!!

 

[gris gris]

Fast forward to Christmas Eve. My son is laying around and, out of the blue, says "Mom, don't lie to me. You always say it's important to be honest. Is Santa Claus a real person?" Because of the way he worded it, I had to say that, no, he isn't a real person. I then explained about St. Nicholas, and the real man, and the spirit of giving and blah, blah, blah. My son cried himself to sleep that night and we had the worst Christmas I could ever imagine. He ended up crying for days. He said that he had always dreamed of being Santa when he grew up because he was the best man he knew.

I think this year will be good. He's matured an awful lot in the last 12 months. And, now I don't have to feel guilty for lying to my child.

I don't normally cry when I read the Disboards but this brought tears to my eyes. What a special little boy. I love this.

When I was in 4th grade my teacher told the whole class about Santa not being real and I will never forget that.

 

[ShannonMB]

My DD will turn 10 the day after Christmas, and she had asked a couple times last year if Santa was real. For some reason, it really caught me off guard (I mean, did I never think it would come up?), so I stayed non-commital with my answers and encouraged her to believe. I was talking with my aunt one day about it, and I decided that if it came up this year, I would tell her the truth.

One day back in September DD and I happened to be outside at that same aunt's house, DD was swinging, and out of the blue, she asked, "Mom, is Santa real?" My aunt looked at me, and I just turned away. I couldn't do it! She mouthed "Do you want me to tell her?" I nodded, and she did. I cried! I was really worried that DD would take it hard, be super sad, the magic of Christmas would be ruined. HA! She is fine. I've asked her to explain how it makes her feel, and she really doesn't seem to have much emotion over it. She's a realist, I think I'm the magical thinker of the family. She said she sorta believed last year, but was definitely having her doubts. I think to her, knowing the truth makes her feel like part of the big girl club, but to me, I guess it's one more milestone that proves my little baby girl is growing up. Guess it was bound to happen!

 

[matthew&haleysmom]

My DD is 10 and I think she believes in the don't ask, don't tell policy when it comes to Santa. She never mentions it one way or another.

My DS,6, still believes.

 

[HLDisney]

My DD asked me, point-blank, when she was about 4, if Santa was real. I asked her what she thought and she said she didn't know but wanted to know the truth. I've always vowed to be truthful with her so I told her he wasn't real. She wasn't bothered at all about it. She was actually relieved because she said the story didn't make sense to her (flying sleigh, being able to deliver so many gifts in one night, etc) She's always been very scientific and logical in her thinking, though, so I suspect the Santa story may have confused her so knowing the truth actually made her feel better.

She also questioned me about the tooth fairy after she lost her 3rd or 4th teeth. Since she asked me in the same direct way, I again told her the truth. Again, she was fine and nowadays, when she loses a teeth, she looks at me, mock-seriously, before she goes to bed that night, and says things like "the tooth fairy better not forget to put something under my pillow tonight!" so it really hasn't ruined anything for her.

Helen

 

[sk!mom]

I, too, am amazed by reports of kids over 7 or 8 who believe and think that they must be playing along with over believing parents. Honestly, I'd be concerned if my children truly believed past 9 or 10.

Both of my kids doubted at 7 as they developed the maturity to realize the implausibility. DS asked at 7 and we explained that Santa is part of the fun and spirit of Christmas but confirmed his suspicion that Santa was not "real."

DD, at 7, very cutely said, "I'm still deciding about Santa since there could be magic involved but I'm embarrased that I ever believed in the Easter Bunny." By 8, she had decided

For the record, my kids are now 25 and 14, and the fun of Christmas continues. "Santa" will fill stockings and deliver one gift each on Christmas Eve.

 

[CruisinEars]

Both of my kids were around kindergarten age when they figured out Santa wasn't real. Honestly, I didn't expect them to believe for much longer than that.

 

[sk!mom]

Personally, for our family there is harm in encouraging a lack of skepiticism. They may be good for other families, but here, no. We raise skeptics and critical thinkers. Not believers in fairytales. I respect your right to raise your kids how you see fit and encourage them to believe however you want, but I wouldn't want my kids to believe at 10 or 12. Playing along....sure....pretending to believe...sure....buying into the "spirit of Christmas" ...sure. Having faith a fat man in a red suit leaves them presents....that wouldn't fly in our house.

Very well put and my feelings exactly. Skeptical critical thinkers describes my family perfectly.

Because I raised them to question the world around them, I would have been concerned if they hadn't worked out the implausibilty of Santa by 10. As I said in an earlier post, neither believed past 7 or 8.

 

[Tiggerlovinggrandma]

My daughter actually caught me in the act of "playing Santa" one year. She was 8. My DH and I always took turns being Santa. I remember being so shocked when I turned around and saw her standing in front of me that I did the only thing I could think of... I LIED! I told I had gotten up to get a drink of water and that I must have interrupted Santa so we had better go back to bed so "Santa can finish his job". She looked at me for a second than went back to bed and I finshed the task at hand a bit later. Needless to say "Santa" didn't get too much sleep that night.

A few months later she asked me point blank if Santa was REAL. DH and I have always made a point to tell her the truth whenever possible. Although this time I found myself thinking really hard about whether I should. It really bothered me that I was about to shatter my little girl's fantasy and all the memories surrounding it. The fantasy and memories we had laid out for her, just as our parents did for us and their parents did for them. Nevertheless I told her. She took it rather hard and actually got mad at me for telling her. I remember her saying, "Mommy, why did you have to tell me?" I didn't really want to know". It broke my heart! At that instance I wished I could have taken my words back but it was too late. Perhaps it would have been better to just simply ask her what she believed and leave it at that. Neither telling or confirming the actual truth. To this day she will stilll bring up every now and then that it was "I " who spoiled Santa for her.

For me, I don't remember taking the news that Santa was really my mom and dad rather than a big jolly red suited man, that hard. Nevertheless each child is different.

Our 3 year old grandson believes in Santa Claus. However learning from our daughter's reaction to the Santa fantasy, DH and I as well as our daughter have toned down the whole perception of the jolly old man. We don't make him such a perdominate figure of the whole Christmas expierence as it was when DH and I were kids. So hopefully whenever he realizes the truth behind the fantasy, he won't have such a difficult time with it.

 

[luvsJack]

Personally, for our family there is harm in encouraging a lack of skepiticism. They may be good for other families, but here, no. We raise skeptics and critical thinkers. Not believers in fairytales. I respect your right to raise your kids how you see fit and encourage them to believe however you want, but I wouldn't want my kids to believe at 10 or 12. Playing along....sure....pretending to believe...sure....buying into the "spirit of Christmas" ...sure. Having faith a fat man in a red suit leaves them presents....that wouldn't fly in our house.

Oh, brother! No one is encouraging a lack of anything. My kids didn't believe past the age of 10 but its not like anyone said to them "you don't question, you just believe". I never even told them that about their belief and faith in God. They are encouraged to question and discover their truth. But I also encourage imagination and the love of make believe (maybe why we all love Disney so much).

I can't get over the big deal you people make out of this! They believe or they don't. When they are ready to learn the truth they will. If they want to hang on to the belief they will. That doesn't mean anyone encourages anything. If I am asked I say "I believe, but you have to decide for yourself" or I say "Do you think he is real".

 

[kayrosek]

I know for a fact my DD 11 doesn't believe anymore and hasen't for at least a few years but she still plays along for the most part. My DD 13 on the other hand is one of those kids that believes because she wants too. She's very creative and determined to still enjoy things and "stay a kid for as long as possible" (she's told me that several times) so she qestions out loud to me then reasons with some sort of "Oh, it's magic so that doesn't matter" and drops the subject. The other day she told me she thinks it's sad that her friends don't believe because they are missing out on the fun and the magic. So no I don't think she really thinks Santa is real but she isn't willing to let it go just yet. DS 10 on the other hand really does believe and we are doing all we can this year to make it magical for him in case this is his last year. He has an ASD and several learning disorders and is cognitivley at least three years younger than that though so we may have a few more years left, but I know his freinds are starting to question and they are all closer to the eight year old range.