How long do they believe????

[VAfamily1998]

I stopped believing in 3rd grade. It was Easter time and my little brothers and I were coloring eggs and my mom called me over and whispered to me that there was no such thing as the Easter bunny. After that, it was pretty easy to figure out the truth about Santa and the tooth fairy.

DS 10 has figured out the truth...DS#2 will be 9 in a couple weeks...I'm not really sure if he has or not.

My other two DS are 6 and 4 and definitely still believe.

 

[almcg]

I told my daughter when she was nine and last year was our first Christmas without "Santa". We made Christmas extra special for her,we surprised her with a trip to WDW,and Santa still came! We had to tell her as friends were calling her a baby for still believeing Most of her cousins are younger than her so Santa still comes to them and she feels very grown up knowing the special secret.

 

[Jessica14]

Well, I think your child should believe as long as they want to and I have no intenetion of saying anything until my kids say something to me first. Why spoil the fantasy? They are only little once and who needs a dose of reality that young? My friend's 14 year old knows of course, but still wants to believe so goes along with all of the magic. Heck, when we track Santa on NORAD, I almost believe!

My kids are almost 8 and 6. My DS6 absolutely beleives and my DD7 said yesterday that her friend told her there was no such thing. I told her it was about religious differences. She asked how he knew, and I said he knew everything.

I have a really hard time with kids spoiling it for others. They should be taught by their parents not to do so. I had to tell a child I taught in kindergarten once that it was not OK to tell the other kids and to just keep it to herself. She was a good kid. I just don't understand why others need to be mean about it. Maybe they feel they missed out.

My DD is smart, but believed in things for a long time. Not sure how she views Disney characters. My DS is quite immature and still believes Elmo is real. They'll both figure it out when the time comes without help from me. My only help will be keeping the fantasy going as long as possible.
Jessica

 

[nicki.momof3]

yeap that is a conclusion I will jump to! A 12 year old should be able to distinguish between make believe and reality enough to know there is no way a man with reindeer can get to every child in the whole world in one evening.

And is this child not living in the real world? have they never been on a computer? used a dictionary? seriously by 12 you have been exposed to enough outlets to see the truth that you should know. (unless you are special needs)

There is seriously so much wrong with this post that I don't even know how to respond

I have to agree with palavra - anyone that would call a child a name or make such rude remarks because they beleive in Santa is beyond my understanding. I am just happy that she lives in a different state and there is no chance she could be my childs teacher. I would never want my child around someone like that.

 

[Disneyadore]

Well, Santa has at least two different nights to fill stockings of children all over the world. With the time difference, he has even more time.

My dad's side of the family is Dutch, they celebrate St. Nickolas on Dec. 5th.

Ehmm no we adopted Santa also so now we have presents on the 5 and the 25 December.

 

[lucyem]

I have a friend who when her daughter asked she replied "what is more fun to believe" and left it at that. She refuses to confirm or deny his existence. Her daughter obviously knows the truth but it is certainly more fun to believe in santa.

 

[amystevekai&bump]

I have a friend who when her daughter asked she replied "what is more fun to believe" and left it at that. She refuses to confirm or deny his existence. Her daughter obviously knows the truth but it is certainly more fun to believe in santa.

I have said much the same to my 6 year old son - he asked me recently if santa existed and I asked why he had asked and apparently some children at school had said that he didn't. I just said, 'what do you think?' and Kai said he didn't know and I said, 'well do you think it is more special to believe he does exist or he doesn't?' and my son said it was more special to believe he did and I said 'I agree!!' - we both smiled and left it at that!!

There are many years ahead of him to know the real truth - i'm hoping the magic of it all can last a little while longer for him yet!!

 

[Hannathy]

I have to agree with palavra - anyone that would call a child a name or make such rude remarks because they beleive in Santa is beyond my understanding. I am just happy that she lives in a different state and there is no chance she could be my childs teacher. I would never want my child around someone like that.

Who is calling a child a name? I never called a child a name. I simply said any child who still totally believes in Santa at 12 has some problems with distinguishing reality from make believe, there is no name calling there. Just the truth

And if you read here or on the CB you will see most agree that it is not usual for a 12 yr old to believe.

 

[Trixieplus2]

We don't really "do Santa" so my 3 yr old and 5 yr old DD's both know he is just something like our "Elf On A Shelf" just for fun but we don't ruin it for other kids so they know not to tell other children Santa is just for make believe.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I don't remember when out daughter stopped believing, by my son believed last year at 9. I think this year either he is having doubts or doesn't believe and is faking it very well.

 

[olwyngdh]

yeap that is a conclusion I will jump to! A 12 year old should be able to distinguish between make believe and reality enough to know there is no way a man with reindeer can get to every child in the whole world in one evening.

And is this child not living in the real world? have they never been on a computer? used a dictionary? seriously by 12 you have been exposed to enough outlets to see the truth that you should know. (unless you are special needs)

You know, if you were my child's teacher and treated her the way you act here, I would have you up in front of the school board so fast it would make your head swim. You do NOT have the right to judge what a parent teaches a child, and especially to call a child special needs because they choose to believe in something you are too jaded to believe in. Do you also discuss "Judeo-Christian Mythology" with children and treat them as special needs children if they believe in God? There are plenty of outlets on the internet and other places that say that God is a myth. You can't see or touch either one.

I have a profoundly gifted 8 yr old. She is very clear on belief vs reality. She chooses to believe in things because it makes the world a brighter, better place. Her response to the characters at Disney was "Mom, it's just a guy in a suit, but if you really believe, then they are real." I think that is a lot healthier view of the world than not believing. Ghandi said "be the change you want to see in the world"; believing in things greater and beyond you enables you to see the world as a better and more magical place and helps you achieve that world.

 

[petrymom]

Who says Santa isn't real? Does he really have to be the man in the red suit or is he in some way a piece of each of us?

I told my DS when he was 10 cuz I was afraid he was going to get picked on by other kids. I devastated him by doing so. He cried that Christmas and told me in later years he wished I wouldn't have come clean with him.

With our DD11, I have chosen not to say anything. She can believe in what she believes. I know that they have talked about Santa at school and I know that she knows other kids don't believe. I DO believe SANTA does exist inside the idea of giving.......

Merry Christmas to all..........

 

[Hannathy]

You know, if you were my child's teacher and treated her the way you act here, I would have you up in front of the school board so fast it would make your head swim. You do NOT have the right to judge what a parent teaches a child, and especially to call a child special needs because they choose to believe in something you are too jaded to believe in. Do you also discuss "Judeo-Christian Mythology" with children and treat them as special needs children if they believe in God? There are plenty of outlets on the internet and other places that say that God is a myth. You can't see or touch either one.

I have a profoundly gifted 8 yr old. She is very clear on belief vs reality. She chooses to believe in things because it makes the world a brighter, better place. Her response to the characters at Disney was "Mom, it's just a guy in a suit, but if you really believe, then they are real." I think that is a lot healthier view of the world than not believing. Ghandi said "be the change you want to see in the world"; believing in things greater and beyond you enables you to see the world as a better and more magical place and helps you achieve that world.

I have no idea what you would have me in front of the school board for? For telling 4th graders to not pick on the third graders? lovely. For saying a 12 yr old should be able to know make believe from reality?

And you answer your own rant by saying your DD is Able to distinguish between make believe and reality at 8 let alone 12.

I can see it now a 7th grader thinks Santa is totally real and brings all the gifts and then takes a girl to the 7th grade Dance 2 months later.

 

[Fyrefly]

We always spent Easter at my grandmother's. When I saw my Easter basket while the car was being packed (I think the black garbage bag it was in slipped or something) I confronted my mom about it, and she said there was no Easter Bunny. I asked if that meant there was no Santa Claus too, and she said yes. I cried, she cried, it was a bad scene. I was 10 and in 5th grade, and despite believing that long I got over it.

I also disagree with the fact that smart kids stop believing. Belief is what you make of it. I rationalized very early on that none of the department store and other such Santas were the same man. I figured logically he couldn't be everywhere at once, so he was sending elves to get the wishes from kids, and they dressed as Santa because some of the less smart kids didn't know the difference. I figured my parents couldn't afford my presents, which was partially due to the fact I had a very poor idea of what could be bought for a dollar, and I didn't know my parents had a little Christmas fund they put into all year. But my point is, an intelligent child who truly wants to believe will build an entire mythos about it, as I did. I simply defended my beliefs in school and I was not made fun of, though it sometimes caused me to doubt a little.

I think the major thing that made me believe that long was a family friend, who has now passed, bless him. He loved to dress as Santa for parties and church functions, but he was Greek Orthodox and they celebrated on a different day. So he had fun visiting my house a few times as Santa on Christmas Eve. And this was a man I never saw my entire life except when he was Santa. There was no way to recognize him as my dad or an uncle or a grandpa. He stopped coming for a year or two, then one year as I was really starting to doubt, he showed up by total surprise again (my parents didn't even know he was coming) and I think that got another two years of belief out of me until the aforementioned incident.

If I hadn't found out, my parents would have told me before middle school. I think at that point it's appropriate.

But just because your kid no longer believes doesn't mean you can't have fun with it. My mom sent me an email the other day saying "Santa called. He wants to know if you want anything for Christmas." And we all play along. It's something fun and special we enjoy.

 

[almcg]

Eventhough DD10 knows about Santa, Santa still has an important part to play in our Christmas. We still track him and gifts are still placed under the tree from him. When I told DD10 about the Santa secret, I explained that Santa is within all of us this time of year when we give gifts to eachother and is very real to me. To me Santa is an embodiment of the love we feel for eachother at Christmas and all year round.

 

[maddiesmom0116]

We had the kids in my DD6's first grade class write Santa and 2 of them already didn't believe. When one was speaking up about it. I simply said, I believe in Santa Claus, he brings me a new purse every year for being good. Enough said, the kids all went to writing their notes including the 2 that originally refused. Santa does bring me a new Coach or Kate Spade bag every year for Christmas and it is under the tree from him right next to my DD6's gifts. I do believe in the myth of Santa, historically many myths have some roots in reality.

I want my DD to believe as long as possible, it makesthe holiday more magical in my opinion.

 

[Zoesmama03]

It's weird because my 7 year old will say she believes but she knows the ones you meet at the mall are not real. She noticed at 3 that they all looked different.

I have told her that no the original Santa that has created the stories and spirit would have died a very long time ago. So I basically told her the truth about how there was a man long long time ago that brought gifts but not all over the world because that wouldn't be logical. This was after she asked last year when kids in the neighborhood were brats and told her he wasn't real. But like I said she had her doubts from a young age.

Its a faith and belief in the power of magic and miracles. I don't think anyone should ever lose that spirit. So I teach her that the spirit of Santa lives on.

 

[luvsJack]

yeap that is a conclusion I will jump to! A 12 year old should be able to distinguish between make believe and reality enough to know there is no way a man with reindeer can get to every child in the whole world in one evening.

And is this child not living in the real world? have they never been on a computer? used a dictionary? seriously by 12 you have been exposed to enough outlets to see the truth that you should know. (unless you are special needs)

If a child truly believes why on earth would they look it up in the dictionary? Why wold they bother looking on the internet for proof?

DD is 12 and she knows the truth. She probably figured it out about 10. Some 12 year olds are very, very immature. It has nothing to do with their ability to tell reality from fantasy. They may not believe in the whole flying reindeer thing, but believe pieces and parts of the story. If a kid wants to believe they will reason out the parts necessary to continue that belief.

And not all 12 year olds go to dances or are ready for any boy/girl functions (actually most are not, but that is another thread). And some 12 year olds want to hang on to being a kid a little longer so they hang on to "kid" things like Santa a little longer.

You have no business making assumptions of when a child is or is not too old for something or judging that child's intelligence or reasoning skills based on his/her belief in something. As a teacher, you should be well aware of the differences in children and their levels of development.

 

[crisi]

My kids figured it out in first grade or thereabouts. We encouraged the critical thinking skills involved in figuring it out and didn't encourage the belief.

I would think a kid would need to be pretty willful or pretty sheltered to have it last beyond third grade or so. It becomes a very hot topic on the playgrounds and it becomes a teasing point to believe past that age - despite the efforts of teachers. Once the majority of classmates stop believing, its pretty hard to continue in the face of the evidence. For my daughter, it was a first grade religious war. Friendships fell, feelings were hurt.

 

[WantToGoNow]

My ds9 is in 4th grade and this is his 3rd year knowing the truth. My dd6 (1st grade) has suspected the truth but I was hoping to get through this Christmas. However, my dh did something really stupid a few days ago so I'm pretty sure she knows for sure now - he threw away the American Girl boxes and RECEIPT from last Christmas that were hiding under the bed (Santa brought the Bitty Baby) and left the bag sitting on the driveway. The kids got into the trash (don't ask me why, I can only imagine) and she presented me with the receipt - since she reads very well, she knew exactly what it was and what it said. I made up a quick lie buy I don't think she bought it.

They have never believed in the Easter Bunny and ds never bought into the Tooth Fairy - dd6 does for now though.

Now my cousin has a ds that is 6 months older than my ds and she's convinced that he still believes in all of them. I honestly can't imagine a 12 year old that still believes - most likely they are saying what they know will make mom happy.