How Involved is your DS/DD in the College Search Process?

[mominwestlake]

My ds is a junior in high school. In the past 3 months I have started looking at the college application process. I had him sign up to take the ACT and SAT in Jan and Feb. He thought that was too early and he should wait. I also told him that he needs to start volunteering more in the community. He is very involved in all the bands at his H.S. He goes to SADD and Key Club meetings and he is also in the Cleveland Youth Wind Symphony. But he really doesn't volunteer much in our community or church. I have also started talking to him about possible college majors. I go so far as to print out things I find that might be interesting to him. I doubt he has ever read a single thing I have given him. He does show interest in engineering or pharmacy. Last week I started compiling a list of colleges that have pharmacy as a major and another list of engineering schools. I told him we'd visit a couple over spring break and the rest in the summer. His response, "why?" and he told me none of his friends are doing any of this.

I had parents who did nothing to prepare me for college. I didn't even visit the college I ended up attending. I thought I was helping my ds (also have a sophomore dd) by discussing possible majors/careers, looking at SAT/ACT prep (bought software program that has never been touched), arranging school visits, etc.

I am just wondering what part you are playing in this process? Is mid-junior year just too early? Do I just not do anything and let him see senior year that things don't happen by magic? He is a good student and in the honors program at his school but is more interested in the social life, girl friend, texting, ipod touch, driving around, etc. I have told him many times that it is his life but of course he doesn't get that.

 

[wdwfan16]

A parent has to be there to help guide the child when they have questions but the child must be the one to take the lead. A kid who had to have his parents fill our applications, research colleges etc will not be the kid of kid that will do well in college. You have to want to be there, want to pass and know what you want out for your future.

Junior year is not too early to be looking at colleges.

 

[::Snow_White::]

I took my ACT for the first time the summer after my sophomore year. I'm a junior right now as well, it's absolutely not too early. A lot of colleges also let you apply early and if you wait until senior year I've heard a lot of them regret not getting started early because they are in such a rush to get everything in before they graduate. My friends and I have taken the ACT twice and we're going to take it again this summer, we've been researching this things since this past summer and we're more involved then our parents are. We were the ones that told them we wanted to take the ACT and do all the things we have been doing. We've written down colleges we'd like to apply for and make sure we have all the requirements that they need as well as being involved in extra activities and clubs. I think if the student isn't interested in it, it would be hard to change their mind and they will probably just wait to research senior year which is what a lot of kids do, and while they are rushed, they can still make it. I think the most that you can do is encourage him, and like the previous poster said, only he can take lead.

Good luck!

 

[swanmom]

Surpirsingly, my junior year DD has really taken the lead on this one. She talks frequently with her guidance counselor about the impact of her course choices on her college options and has asked me to take her to several college nights (inlcuding one specifically geared to her chosen major - theatre.) She has already been in touch by email with the dpeartment chairs in several of her most-desired schools. She is taking the SAT the end of this month and the ACT in early Feb. This was all initiated by her. She said to me "The good theater programs are very competitive to get into AND I also want the school to be great academically. Whatever I can do to improve my chances, I'll do." Now my fear is that, after all this work, she'll get into a school we can't afford!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

It is better if your son gets involved and finds a college that is a fit for him. Some kids freak out and need your guidance.

I am going thru this now. My dd started college last fall. She was not as involved as she should have been in the process and she feels that her school in not a match for her. She is doing well because if she wants to switch she needs good grades.

My advice is to go to colleges and drag him there. If I could go back I would have done this. Going to colleges now is on target and honestly from my vantage point very important to find that match.

My nephew who is also a freshman this yr., did a lot of college visits and is happy with his choice.

Is my dd doing "well"? I guess you can say she is doing "well". I would say she is not excelling because she is still figuring things out. She is not sure about her major which has a lot to do with it.

Girls on her floor are "set" and it can be intimidating to be unsure.

Now with your son, if he is going to college he must work with you on finances. You say he is in honors school? He may get into "honors college" or his gpa along with his scores could get him some money for school.

There are deadline dates & as a paying parent, you cannot ignore it. That is just the practicality of the situation.

 

[MM27]

I don't have kids myself, but when I was in high school, the only thing my mom did for me was write the checks for the application fees. Everything else was left to me. If I had questions or needed help I went to my guidance counselor. My mom did take me to the colleges I was interested in visiting but I set up all the visits myself.

I guess if your child needs a little push to do all that, then no harms done if you help, but this is a great time for them to become more independent. Next year you won't be there to remind them the do all the things they will be responsible for.

 

[disneyfan007]

At my son's high school he was only allowed two excused absences for college visits his junior and senior year. He did not even look until his senior year.We did big group tours during the summer between his junior and senior year and went back for individual tours his senior year. He is an athlete so alot of his visits were overnighters. We did get it done though.He looked at four schools narrowed it down to two and finally one, (about this time last year actually) He finally picked Heidelberg University in Tiffin Ohio.(which is a great school and a good fit for him) we are happy all the way around with this decision) It appears that you are from the Cleveland area. If your child is really intersted in pharmacy and engineering I would go for a visit at Ohio Northern University. Kettering is suppose to be an excellent engineering school. I know some of my son's classmates are going there and really enjoy it. At Kettering you go to school for a semester and work for a semester beginning your freshman year. Classes there do begin in July. I personally liked Baldwin Wallace College in Berea. We are from a small town though and he did not like the "city" setting. (We are actually from Lorain County - not too far from you)

My son is still totally undecided at this point in time. They say as long as you decide by the end of your sophomore year you should be ok. Good luck to you.

 

[abdmom]

I'm a former hs teacher. This is EXACTLY the time when he should be looking at colleges, and taking standardized tests. The fall of senior year is for applications.

It IS his life. Research some college application deadlines and requirements. Present those to him. Tell him that either he start the process of applying to college or this is the amount of rent he will be charged after he graduates high school.

 

[NMAmy]

DD did this all on her own. I work at a college so I gave her advice but she worked with her guidance counselor and did everything herself.

 

[Swimnoid]

I'm a former hs teacher. This is EXACTLY the time when he should be looking at colleges, and taking standardized tests. The fall of senior year is for applications.

It IS his life. Research some college application deadlines and requirements. Present those to him. Tell him that either he start the process of applying to college or this is the amount of rent he will be charged after he graduates high school.

Ditto to above.

Perhaps he would take it better if he heard it from a guidance counselor rather than you. Maybe you could schedule a meeting with him and the counselor and have the guidance counselor lay out a time table and then leave it to DS. It sounds like he isnt ready yet. With a time table you can put the ball in his court and without nagging just let him know if it isnt met he may end up in community college. NOT that there is anything wrong with that! It might be the perfect place to get started until he knows exactly what he wants. But if he has his heart set on going away to school he needs to get started.

 

[chisnpeke]

I'm a former hs teacher. This is EXACTLY the time when he should be looking at colleges, and taking standardized tests. The fall of senior year is for applications.

It IS his life. Research some college application deadlines and requirements. Present those to him. Tell him that either he start the process of applying to college or this is the amount of rent he will be charged after he graduates high school.

I'm curious about the rent thing. What if a child decides that college is not for them and they decide to just enter the workforce. Would you still charge them rent? That doesn't seem exactly right to me. That's kind of forcing them into college.

 

[golfgal]

Our oldest is a senior so we are very involved in the whole process right now. Most schools have Feb. deadlines for applications and school financial aid and scholarships (around here anyway). Many are even Feb 1st. The Federal Financial Aid priority is March. Starting the process junior year is very normal. Our teacher convention weekend in October is a very popular time for high school juniors and seniors coming late to the process to do college visits, spring break being another popular time.

DS had gone to camp at one college he was interested in attending so we never did a formal visit there. We did another visit this past summer and he liked that school so much we stopped there. He applied in August, was accepted by mid-Sept and he has his housing forms/school scholarship financial aid forms in already.

OP, I would NOT push him on this. Take a Saturday and visit a campus or two near you just to peak his interest. Don't worry about taking him now when classes are in session, just get a couple campus tours scheduled.

I wouldn't worry so much about picking a school based on a major as very few college students actually graduate with the major they "picked" as freshman. Find a school that feels right to him--right size, courses, reputation, etc.

I don't think you signed him up too early for the ACT and SAT, many kids take it more than once so you need to allow for that. Our son took the ACT the first time a year ago in April and again over the summer. His score was high enough to qualify him for some scholarships and admit him to the school he wants so he didn't take it again.

I also agree that he will probably be more receptive to suggestions from the school counselor vs mom and dad--just because that is how teens are. Our school is VERY good about having seminars about all of this both for the students and the parents so check with his high school and see what they will be offering for that.

 

[ctinct]

My ds is a junior in high school. In the past 3 months I have started looking at the college application process. I had him sign up to take the ACT and SAT in Jan and Feb. He thought that was too early and he should wait. I also told him that he needs to start volunteering more in the community. He is very involved in all the bands at his H.S. He goes to SADD and Key Club meetings and he is also in the Cleveland Youth Wind Symphony. But he really doesn't volunteer much in our community or church. I have also started talking to him about possible college majors. I go so far as to print out things I find that might be interesting to him. I doubt he has ever read a single thing I have given him. He does show interest in engineering or pharmacy. Last week I started compiling a list of colleges that have pharmacy as a major and another list of engineering schools. I told him we'd visit a couple over spring break and the rest in the summer. His response, "why?" and he told me none of his friends are doing any of this.

I had parents who did nothing to prepare me for college. I didn't even visit the college I ended up attending. I thought I was helping my ds (also have a sophomore dd) by discussing possible majors/careers, looking at SAT/ACT prep (bought software program that has never been touched), arranging school visits, etc.

I am just wondering what part you are playing in this process? Is mid-junior year just too early? Do I just not do anything and let him see senior year that things don't happen by magic? He is a good student and in the honors program at his school but is more interested in the social life, girl friend, texting, ipod touch, driving around, etc. I have told him many times that it is his life but of course he doesn't get that.

This sounds EXACTLY like my dd, who is also a jr. She is a super bright girl, but just not into doing any research. I did drag her to a few schools in Virginia on Columbus Day weekend---good thing too. The schools I thought she would like, she hated. She fell in love with UVA. Unfortunately, as an out of state student, we may not be able to swing this financially. The only reason I took her there was I wanted her to look at another school in VA and figured I would take her to a large school while there, so she could get a taste of it. (Went to a small, medium, and large as just the beginning of research to see how each "felt" to her.) I signed her up for an SAT course at the local community college. She complained EVERY week, but finally admitted it did do her some good. We think her PSAT scores will get her a letter of commendation (won't know for sure till the fall)-no money, but an honor anyways. I am the one researching dates for SAT, ACT, etc. I know she should be doing this, but the fact is, if I don't do it, she may miss some deadlines. For example, next fall, the deadline for our state school scholarships is Dec. 1, even though admisssions is on a rolling basis, and you can apply as late as Feb. I think the seeming disinterest is just a teen thing.

 

[christineann]

My kids did a good bit of research themselves, and both knew what they wanted to major in, which was a factor in where they went to school. Do the college reps visit your son's high school? That is a great source of preliminary information for students without having us parents there - they can ask questions, get brochures, etc. I also think that college visits can be valuable; we spent spring break of the junior year going to open houses and on college tours, and it helped both of mine decide where they wanted (and didn't want) to go.

I have one who graduated in 2007 and another who is a college senior. Both are very happy with their choices, but I did tell both that if they find that the college isn't a good fit, it's pretty easy to change.

 

[Janet Hill]

A parent has to be there to help guide the child when they have questions but the child must be the one to take the lead. A kid who had to have his parents fill our applications, research colleges etc will not be the kid of kid that will do well in college. You have to want to be there, want to pass and know what you want out for your future.

Junior year is not too early to be looking at colleges.

Not necessarily true. I filled out all of my daughters applications on line. I wasn't about to write an essay so I only filled out apps for colleges that either didn't require one or would accept a graded high school essay. I applied to a small private school and a medium and large sized state schools.

She was accepted at all and I forced her to go check them out. She chose the large state school and graduated Summa Cum Laude with a degree in math. If I hadn't applied for her, I don't think she would have gone.

Sometimes I think they just need a little push to move on.

 

[minkydog]

So far, DD16 has taken a slow approach to college. She's in an information gathering mode. We will be going on our first go-see in February and we have at least 3 more planned. She's not sure what she wants to major in, but she knows she wants a dance minor and some film-making classes, so that limits her a bit. There are 3-4 schools in Georgia that fit that bill, but she is open to going to some other schools if they are a good fit.

As far as filling stuff out for her, I will not be doing that. I'll sit by and help her if she likes, but I'm not doing it for her. I did that with DS23 and he never really bought into the whole experience so no surprise that he didn't do well. He never had a stake in the game. When I went to college my parents had no clue how to make that happen, so I was on my own with the application, financial aid, finding a school, arranging transportation to and from. the whole bit. DH did the same thing. We were both the first in our families to attend college. Doing it on our own definitely helped us learn some independence.

 

[agnes!]

This sounds EXACTLY like my dd, who is also a jr. She is a super bright girl, but just not into doing any research. I did drag her to a few schools in Virginia on Columbus Day weekend---good thing too. The schools I thought she would like, she hated. She fell in love with UVA. Unfortunately, as an out of state student, we may not be able to swing this financially. The only reason I took her there was I wanted her to look at another school in VA and figured I would take her to a large school while there, so she could get a taste of it. (Went to a small, medium, and large as just the beginning of research to see how each "felt" to her.) I signed her up for an SAT course at the local community college. She complained EVERY week, but finally admitted it did do her some good. We think her PSAT scores will get her a letter of commendation (won't know for sure till the fall)-no money, but an honor anyways. I am the one researching dates for SAT, ACT, etc. I know she should be doing this, but the fact is, if I don't do it, she may miss some deadlines. For example, next fall, the deadline for our state school scholarships is Dec. 1, even though admisssions is on a rolling basis, and you can apply as late as Feb. I think the seeming disinterest is just a teen thing.

Does anybody have an idea about where the various levels might be for the PSATs? DD took it this past year and all the scoring levels don't come out for *forever*.

Thanks,
agnes!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Does anybody have an idea about where the various levels might be for the PSATs? DD took it this past year and all the scoring levels don't come out for *forever*.

Thanks,
agnes!

Depends on your state because it varies. Here is College Confidentials postings. It is a large thread and it beats it to death. Nothing is set in stone but here is the jist of it. Note the minimum score (first number).

Here are all the cutoffs by state from 2008 as collected on the 2008 thread:

State - Minimum Score - Post# Cited (on 2008 thread) - (Change from '07)
AK =212 505 (-1)
AL =209 270 (NC)
AR =204 269? (+3)
AZ =209 488? (-2)
CA =217 281 (NC)
CO =213 564 (NC)
CT =218 300 (+1)
DC =221 381 (-2)
DE =219 564 (NC)
GA =215 504 (+1)
FL =211 27, 406 (-1)
HI =216 116? (+3)
IA =210 462 (+1)
ID =208 509 (+4)
IL =214 237, 332 (+1)
IN =213 172 (NC)
KS =211 228, 561 (-1)
KY =209 112, 340 (+1)
LA =208 419 (+2)
MA =221 252 (-2)
MD =220 423 (-1)
ME =212 468 (+1)
MI =209 460 (NC)
MN =214 207 (+1)
MO =213 447 (+2)
MS =201 224 (-1)
MT =208 564 (+1)
NC =215 452 (+1)
ND =201 381 (-1)
NE =206 567 (-1)
NH =211 564 (-4)
NJ =220 314 (-1)
NM =209 567 (+1)
NV =206 557 (-2)
NY =216 182,377,416,464 (-3)
OH =213 226 (+2)
OK =208 153 (+1)
OR =213 326 (NC)
PA =213 417 (-1)
RI =213 564 (+1)
SC =212 512 (+2)
SD =205 569 (+2)
TN =213 467 (NC)
TX =215 46+many (NC)
UT =203 564 (+1)
VA =219 476 (+2)
VT =213 564 (-3)
WA =217 445 (+2)
WV = 203 569 (+3)
WI =210 459 (+2)
WY =201 381 (+1)

US Territories =201 381
Internationals =221 381
Mid-Atlantic & New England boarding schools =221 471 (-2)
Note: boarding schools with large in-state populations will not be in this group

Commended =200 (nationwide, established last May) (NC)

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com...erit-semifinalists-2009-h-s-class-2010-a.html

 

[Anne34]

I'm a former hs teacher. This is EXACTLY the time when he should be looking at colleges, and taking standardized tests. The fall of senior year is for applications.

It IS his life. Research some college application deadlines and requirements. Present those to him. Tell him that either he start the process of applying to college or this is the amount of rent he will be charged after he graduates high school.

My DD16 is also a junior. She is really excited by college and has taken the PSAT and the ACT already. She will take the ACT again in April with her school. We have visited Iowa State a couple months ago and go to Purdue in Feb. She is interested in engineering. She also has many friends who have done nothing yet.

Our school had a parent meeting in fall. She outlined all the things we need to do this year. Take ACT/Sat tests, look into colleges, discussed the Naviance system of looking up schools, talked about financial aid, etc. They are trying to get them ready for this since most kids apply fall of senior year.
My DD has also gone to college visits at her school. check and see if your school does this too -- most do here.

This past week was also teacher recommendation for courses senior year. The kids have taken personality tests, likes/dislikes quizzes and more in various classes to help them determine what they are interested in. Hopefully he is doing things in school that you don't know about yet!! I would help prod him along, but the final decision has to be up to him. Good luck!!

 

[mominwestlake]

My DD16 is also a junior. She is really excited by college and has taken the PSAT and the ACT already. She will take the ACT again in April with her school. We have visited Iowa State a couple months ago and go to Purdue in Feb. She is interested in engineering. She also has many friends who have done nothing yet.

Our school had a parent meeting in fall. She outlined all the things we need to do this year. Take ACT/Sat tests, look into colleges, discussed the Naviance system of looking up schools, talked about financial aid, etc. They are trying to get them ready for this since most kids apply fall of senior year.
My DD has also gone to college visits at her school. check and see if your school does this too -- most do here.

This past week was also teacher recommendation for courses senior year. The kids have taken personality tests, likes/dislikes quizzes and more in various classes to help them determine what they are interested in.
Hopefully he is doing things in school that you don't know about yet!! I would help prod him along, but the final decision has to be up to him. Good luck!!

Hopefully our school is doing more. DS even "works" in the guidance office one period each day so all the counselors know him. This is his 2nd year doing that. I agree that if it comes from someone else he might listen more. I have no clue why his friends aren't doing more- if that is even true. Perhaps it's because my ds is the oldest in the family and his good friends all have older siblings who are currently in college.

He definitely plans on going to college. He has said numerous times he wants to go to Ohio State and knows it has been selective the past 2 years. He has a high gpa. I guess it just bugs me that every time I bring up the college application process, college visits, testing, or majors he seems to roll his eyes at me.