How far do you let your child roam?

[MagicalMysteryDream]

We have a daughter, age seven. Since she was six we have let her ride her bike around the block by herself. Someone freaked out the other day when they saw her. I told her that if there were sidewalks, I would let her ride her bike the mile up to the pool for swim team.

I guess I don't live in a bubble and not afraid of dangers that "May" be out there. When I told her that I couldn't wait for next year when I don't have to walk her to and from the bus, she just rolled her eyes and informed me that her fifth grader still is met every day because of "who might be waiting to snatch her".

I can remember being that age and playing outside around the block from my parents and told not to come home until the streetlights came on. And statistically there was far more crime then.

So my question is how far do you let your child roam alone?

 

[tlbwriter]

I guess I don't live in a bubble and not afraid of dangers that "May" be out there. When I told her that I couldn't wait for next year when I don't have to walk her to and from the bus, she just rolled her eyes and informed me that her fifth grader still is met every day because of "who might be waiting to snatch her".

Ironically, this woman is afraid of the least likely scenario. Being abducted by a stranger is SO far down on the list of things she should be worried about. I would be more afraid she'll get lost or wander off, get hit by a car, etc., which are much more likely to happen.

I can remember being that age and playing outside around the block from my parents and told not to come home until the streetlights came on. And statistically there was far more crime then.

Do you mean locally, or nationally? I'd love to see the stats you found, since people always claim there was less crime "back when we were kids." Would be nice to be able to disprove that.

 

[disneyfans95]

Each their own, but when my kids were 8, there was NO way they would go ride a mile on a bike to swim met (and back i assume)..

My kids are 12 and 11 now and while we let them stay home alone after school for 2 hours before we get there, they are still not allowed to play outside with the dog until we come home.

Sorry but for me 8 is way to young for a kid to be biking 2 miles alone.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

I'm wondering if ur just trying to the pot with this post.



To answer your question I worry about my kids too much to let them roam around without supervision.

 

[disneychrista]

At six I would not allow my child to ride her bike w/o supervision. She certainly wouldn't be riding it around the block or a mile to the swimming pool.

In fact she wouldn't be going to "swim team" w/o me there for the practice.

 

[njmom47]

It would depend on where I lived. We live in a townhome development towards the very back, with only 1 road leading in/out. There is a playground at the end of my building which I can see from my front porch or back deck. THAT would be ok at age 7 but I don't remember letting my kids ride their bikes out of our court at that age.

 

[MushyMushy]

At that age, I didn't let them roam at all and I live in a fairly safe small town. There would be no way on EARTH I would have let them ride a bike a mile away.

 

[princessmom29]

While I do think that as a society we are doing our chidren a disservice by hovering over them constantly, I do think that biking a mile alone is not in the cards for my 7 year old. Around the block is fine. Walking alone to the bus stop at the front of the neighborhood is also fine. I drop her off for dance and go run errands. She plays in the back yard by herself (it is fenced), and in the clu de sac with other children when I am not outside. She spend the night away from home occasionally. I send her to the restroom alone in public places. There is NOT someone evil lurking around every corner to carry her off. As a PP said, stranger abduction is the rarest of rare scanerios. Couple that with the fact that most children know to kick, fight, and scream if a stranger tries to take them anywhere, and you should be keeping a better eye on the people your children know and trust that the strangers who just pass by. I think we need to let our kids be kids. Let them play without us hovering right there to catch them if they fall. If we don't teach them to be independent who is, and how are they going to learn how to deal with the world?

 

[Hannathy]

I'm pretty much like you.
My son would be out all day running between his friends and our yard when they were 5. DD also but the boys seem to be out more. Both could ride around the block in first grade. Both walked to school by them selves by First grade my DS in Kindergarten it is about about 1/3 of a mile.
he is 12 now and he and his friends ride up to the local shopping center and shop go to McD's by themselves and that is about 2 1/2 miles.

If we were lucky enough to have soccer practice at a close field then yes he would ride over on his bike. I never stay for practice, even in kind. they need time without me and time with their coach.

There is less crime now and the statistics for child abduction is down from when we were kids the only reason people think it isn't is the 24 hour news channels. They have to fill the time between commercials with something so we hear about everything from across the states where we never heard anything that wasn't local before.

 

[Enchanted_Mama]

Ooh, you hit on a hot button with me on this one...!

I let my DD8 ride her bike around the block, walk to friends' houses (within a block or two away radius) unsupervised. I let my DD5 play in our (unfenced) yard unsupervised, and let her walk to the next door neighbor's house to play. I know many of the other mothers in my n'hood probably think I'm negligent, or that unlike them, I must not "care too much about my child to allow x, y, and z" In fact, I care enough to take the task of teaching them independence and responsibility pretty seriously

 

[dngnb8]

We have a daughter, age seven. Since she was six we have let her ride her bike around the block by herself. Someone freaked out the other day when they saw her. I told her that if there were sidewalks, I would let her ride her bike the mile up to the pool for swim team.

I guess I don't live in a bubble and not afraid of dangers that "May" be out there. When I told her that I couldn't wait for next year when I don't have to walk her to and from the bus, she just rolled her eyes and informed me that her fifth grader still is met every day because of "who might be waiting to snatch her".

I can remember being that age and playing outside around the block from my parents and told not to come home until the streetlights came on. And statistically there was far more crime then.

So my question is how far do you let your child roam alone?

When I was a kid, I would go miles and miles on my bike with no worries.

Today is a different story. With child predators being almost common, I am very protective. My DD14 is watched like a hawk by me.

 

[postage stamp]

Just yesterday I took my kids (5 and 6) on a picnic at a park and while I chatted with a friend they had free roam of the place. There were times when they weren't in my sight and another mom at the park told me what a bad mother I was. I just ignored it. They have to learn to take care of themselves and they have to learn how to behave even when they know no one is watching. Yes, sometimes it's hard to let them do things on their own and to let go, but like Lainie Kazan said "I gave you life so you could live it."

 

[katesorad]

No kids here.. but I do have an 11 year old brother. My mom makes somebody take him to the bathroom (he's allowed in there by himself, but someone ALWAYS has to stand outside the door when in a public place). They live in an area where there aren't really "blocks" or anything, but when he's outside, she has somebody watch him. Kind of obnoxious.

When I was his age, my mom was also pretty protective.. but she did let me go to the park by myself in one of our homes, and the park was about 1/2 mile away.

To the other extreme, DH walked 2 miles to school daily by himself in elementary school, his parents let him take the city bus to the public pool by age 8, etc. Completely different parenting style for sure!

Neither of us are any more or less independent (though I do worry for my 11 year old brother.. yikes!), so I don't think there's anything wrong with either parenting style, unless it's completely extreme!

 

[princessmom29]

When I was a kid, I would go miles and miles on my bike with no worries.

Today is a different story. With child predators being almost common, I am very protective. My DD14 is watched like a hawk by me.

Actually there are fewer child predators than there were 30 years ago, and fewer incidents of stranger abduction. We just hear more about them because they are played up on the national media. They love a great "the thing that will kill your kids....after the break" type story and we hear about things that happen nationally that were not carried 30 years ago because the media wasn't manipulating parents fears to get ratings.

 

[shaylyn]

When I grew up, we did the same thing. Played outside all day "until the lights came on"

I have two good friends, both of whom had attempted molestations by their neighbors back in the late 70's, early 80's. One was invited in to the "nice old man down the street" house where he attempted something, the other man (different man) tried something right there on the sidewalk in view of the other kids (no adults around). Myself? I had two men follow me in a van, one opened the sliding door as he drove by and said, "Come here, I want to talk to you."

I ran from them.

These all happened in different neighborhoods. It was not as safe as people remember it was.

So no, I would not let my 6yo (I have a 5yo who will be 6 in July) ride their bike a mile on their own.

 

[Magpie]

Here's some interesting research from "Kids These Days: Facts and Fictions About Today's Youth" by Karen Sternheimer (pub. 2006)...

In spite of the fear that these cases inspired, Department of Justice date indicate that a minor's odds of being kidnapped by a stranger and of being in serious danger is less than two in a million. The chance of any American child being killed in this scenario is less than seven in ten million. Children under fifteen are seven and one-half time more likely to die from flu or pneumonia, forty-three times more likely to die of cancer, and sixty-five time more likely to die in a motor vehicle than die in a stranger abduction.

Additionally, for the last ten years crime rates have generally fallen, especially violent crime rates. But despite a 42 percent decline in homicides nationally during the 1990s, the public tends to believe that crime has only gotten worse with time. Children under fifteen have been and continue to be the group least likely to be victims of homicides of any type; young adults eighteen to thirty-four are the group most likely to be murdered. Of all minors reported missing, teens make up the majority - 74 percent of all cases and 58 percent of the most serious described earlier. But stories of young children's abductions elicit the greatest sense of anxiety.

The book goes on to show how despite an actual decline in the number of child abductions in the 1990s, the amount of news coverage exploded, and many articles gave the impression that kidnappings were at an all time high and that children had never before been in so much danger.

As for me... I think it depends on where you live, and it depends on your kids. By 6, my kids were going around the block and to the corner store. By 7, I was letting them run to the grocery store and buy stuff for me. At 10, my son was taking a city bus alone to band camp during the summer. None of this is unusual for our area.

OP - if your friend freaks out, just remind her that everyone parents in their own way. You do your thing, she does hers. Most likely everyone's kids will turn out fine.

 

[postage stamp]

When I was a kid, I would go miles and miles on my bike with no worries.

Today is a different story. With child predators being almost common, I am very protective. My DD14 is watched like a hawk by me.

But they aren't. And if your child WAS targeted by someone it would most likely be someone you would trust him with ANYWAY. Children aren't kidnapped, molested, or otherwise harmed with any greater frequency than they were 20-30 years ago, you just hear about every single instance rather than once every ten years the one thing that may or may not have happened 3 towns over. Your kids are actually in more danger using the internet than they are playing outside.

 

[Hannathy]

Actually there are fewer child predators than there were 30 years ago, and fewer incidents of stranger abduction. We just hear more about them because they are played up on the national media. They love a great "the thing that will kill your kids....after the break" type story and we hear about things that happen nationally that were not carried 30 years ago because the media wasn't manipulating parents fears to get ratings.

Yes yes yes!!!


Like I said they have to fill the time between the commercials.

 

[tlbwriter]

But they aren't. And if your child WAS targeted by someone it would most likely be someone you would trust him with ANYWAY.

In fact, according to Gavin De Becker, the person statistically most likely to molest a child is the mother's boyfriend.

 

[postage stamp]

In fact, according to Gavin De Becker, the person statistically most likely to molest a child is the mother's boyfriend.

No wonder my husband hates him so much!