How do you fight the desire to travel when you should be saving?

[Marionnette]

I'm suffering from the biggest case of wanderlust!

I just got back from a fab Disney trip, and I'm dying to get out of this cold NY weather. The problem? Lack of vacation fund funding.

I do have a vacation in the works for August, driving to the beach, and in December to Costa Rica (which is where all the $$ is being funneled). But I can't help but look at cruise prices, and think about going somewhere for April break, or somewhere for a weekend. Or ANYWHERE.

What do you do to fight the I-wants?

4 words

I
can't
afford
this​

It works for any I-gotta-have-it-want-it-now impulse.

And I stay away from travel websites and message boards if I can't fight the urge.

 

[DawnM]

It depends.

If I can find a way to go for less, I do.

Our Disney vacations don't cost a fortune. We do YES tickets or go with a group, stay off-site, eat a lot of our own meals, and plan it when DH has a conference so that his company covers part of the cost. We still have a fabulous time.

This summer we have quite a few trips planned (non-Disney) but we have an ING account set up for it. We are probably going to go quite a bit over this summer as some more things have popped up, but we are going to do it anyway, as they are fantastic opportunities for the kids.

It really depends on your financial situation. we know we can dip into savings if need be or we can pay it off pretty quickly later. We have enough disposable income to not stress over it.

However, a few years ago, when we were in a very tight financial spot, we simply said no and didn't go.

Dawn

 

[crisi]

4 words

I
can't
afford
this​

It works for any I-gotta-have-it-want-it-now impulse.

And I stay away from travel websites and message boards if I can't fight the urge.

Another mantra to memorize is "I'm a grown up - I know that just because I want something doesn't mean I get it."

Another thing is to be clear about your goals. If what you REALLY want is to live somewhere warm, then MOVE - find a job somewhere warm - even if you are a hotel clerk in Maui. Or maybe you live VERY cheaply and retire somewhere warm. What are you saving for? If you want to spend every penny and never retire - it wouldn't be my choice - but maybe that is yours. In which case your goal is to grab life now - however you can. Separate your goals from your fantasies and work to your goals. Keep your fantasies - we need them - but be clear that they are fantasies.

ETA: I'm coming back for a personal story. My own big goals were to pay for my kids college and retire early. That kept a lot of my "I wants" at bay while I put the money away I'd need to do those things - well, college is sacked away and I'm "on sabbatical" while my husband still works - now the "I wants" are at bay so that I can stretch my sabbatical out until I'm ready (and my kids are ready for me) to go back to work. But those are my goals. I have a friend who - at 50 - fixed up a van as a "mobile home" and heads South every Winter where she makes her money working on various organic farms, spending some time in an artists colony making art and staffing the shop, and doing odd jobs - living out of her van with her dog. She doesn't have a lot of material possessions, but she has what she needs and is happy. There isn't a right way to live your life - my friend and I really couldn't be more different - she has no financial security and works manual labor in her 50s with little in terms of "luxuries," I like nice restaurants and clothes and manicures - and a bank account that I can fall back on - and certainly don't want to be picking strawberries for a living at 50 while sleeping in my van - but it helps to be content if you choose to live the life you really want, and understand the impact of those choices.

 

[MomToOne]

I just go to the library and get a good book. Then I curl up on the sofa and just read and read (and maybe munch on a special "treat" of some sort ). I love getting myself lost in a book but life is so hectic that I rarely get a chance to do it anymore. So taking the time like that and indulging myself seems like a real vacation!! I can't really explain it well, but getting lost in a story also helps "reset" my obsession so that I am not focused on a trip so much.

 

[kuhltiffany]

We just go. We kind of live by "life is too short". We cut in other areas - reduce our grocery budget, drive less, contribute less to our Christmas fund, eat out less, etc.

I charged my whole trip, then paid it off with a bonus I received. Now I have this trip, plus I earned enough miles on my card to get my next vacation flights free, too! I could have used that bonus for other things - paying down mortgage, a new couch/stove...but, eh. I get far more satisfaction out of a trip. And mentally/emotionally - the value of the trip far exceeds the value of the couch/stove/lower mortgage balance.

Same philosophy here! When I was a SAHM, we lived on one income and managed well with some planning to balance out the wants/needs. We lived carefully (coupons and points programs help) and had a vacation when we could.

Fast forward a few years and I'm now working full-time...what did we do with the extra income? Increased our vacations We save up and have them paid for before we go now though. Our bedroom is still "builder's beige" after 5 years, we could use a new couch, would love to upgrade the kitchen, etc., but the bills are paid and savings put into every month. These times travelling the world with our kids are priceless!!!

 

[tina.tina]

Unfortunately, I've decided that fixing the everyday problems with our house will make me happier than a trip this year. I have decided to plan my remodel like I plan our trips. I am looking online and trying to find the best deal. I will be happier with some of our issues fixed and we will have a better quality of life overall with our deck and landscaping fixed, etc. I am planning for a trip next year.

 

[Colleen27]

Unfortunately, I've decided that fixing the everyday problems with our house will make me happier than a trip this year. I have decided to plan my remodel like I plan our trips. I am looking online and trying to find the best deal. I will be happier with some of our issues fixed and we will have a better quality of life overall with our deck and landscaping fixed, etc. I am planning for a trip next year.

That's a great idea. I think if we were to take time off of traveling to work on the house that's how I'd have to do it, because in all honesty the planning is almost as much fun to me as the vacation itself. I put a lot of time and energy into planning my gardens each year and enjoy that just as much as I enjoy planning trips, so I could probably throw myself into remodeling in the same way if I channeled my energy in that direction.

 

[Minnesota!]

I live near Woodbury, and their library has an indoor park. It isn't as nice as the conservatory (smaller) - but its warm, green and humid. And the parking is closer than Como - some of the warm stays on the way to the car.

There is one down in Edina, too, if I remember.

I am in the east metro, too...and I knwo the indoor park well! A good friend of mine got married there. You are right - it is very nice!! I am thinking, however, I will need a tour of the Conservatory tomorrow - my mental stability might not last another 4 weeks, 3 days until I can escape this freezing hell

 

[LuvGoofy6]

I have a similar problem. We do save money every month so that's not the issue. My problem is instead of getting the new mattress that we need, replacing the carpeting or updating the loft I'd rather use it go on vacation. So we keep putting off stuff we should do around the house.

It'll happen one day I know just not this year!

We have this same mindset. We save as well AND we save for our vacations. You mentioned getting those updates (carpet, mattress, etc) will happen one day. We feel the same way because the memories we make will be with our children forever but new carpet won't matter in 20 years. Don't get me wrong, we have a lovely home but we make sure that our priorities are getting away as a family and making memories.

 

[arthur06]

We have this same mindset. We save as well AND we save for our vacations. You mentioned getting those updates (carpet, mattress, etc) will happen one day. We feel the same way because the memories we make will be with our children forever but new carpet won't matter in 20 years. Don't get me wrong, we have a lovely home but we make sure that our priorities are getting away as a family and making memories.

We are the opposite here.

We don't have a car newer then 2007.

However, we have put a lot into our home. (We bought a foreclosure 2 years ago) We have a the mindset that our home is where we spend the majority of our time and make sure that it is maintained.

We travel when we can comfortably afford to do so. We put $50 a week into an Ally account and that pays for our fun. If we have the money, we do/go. If we don't have it in there, we don't. Its something new we are doing, and so far, so good.

We have a high quality sleep number bed. You spend 6-8 hours a day on your bed, so make it comfortable.

We go cheap on many things, but we don't neglect our home.

People choose to do different things with there money and there is nothing wrong with it. I will never tell others how to spend, unless they ask. But, for us, the value of a comfortable home outweighs a vacation.

 

[LuvGoofy6]

We are the opposite here.

Not so opposite. As I said, we have a lovely home. We take care of our house because we feel it is an investment. We recently put a lot of money into remodeling an older home (we sold a newer home and moved into an older one for the character that comes with older homes). We also just bought a new mattress and spent good money on it.

We are alike in thinking our home is important. We are homebodies and love the comforts of our home. Four of us drive and the newest vehicle is a 2010 the other three are 2006's. We wait until movies come out on DVD rather than go to the movies. We don't eat out a lot because that is money that could be "Disney Money." I guess the thing is that we gauge if we really want to spend money on other things or put the money towards vacation. We love the family vacations and the wonderful memories we make on them so we funnel money into our "Disney fund." But some things we wait on. We have a fence that we would like to redo and when we have the funds saved (we put money into a home improvement account) then we will do it. But you can bet that there is money going into the vacation fund, too. We aren't putting it all in the home improvement account.

 

[Happyjen27]

I just go to the library and get a good book. Then I curl up on the sofa and just read and read (and maybe munch on a special "treat" of some sort ). I love getting myself lost in a book but life is so hectic that I rarely get a chance to do it anymore. So taking the time like that and indulging myself seems like a real vacation!! I can't really explain it well, but getting lost in a story also helps "reset" my obsession so that I am not focused on a trip so much.

My daughter arranged a day like this for me a couple of weeks ago. At age 6, she decided to have my SIL pick her and her brother up and take them for the day. I had all day all alone in my home, it was fantastic!!

OP here, I ended up booking a little something. My husband is off all week next week with the kids for winter break. He is so awesome for taking all that time off, but all those days in a row would wear down even the superest of super dads.

So, I checked out priceline for local hotels and did their Express deal, where you can specify the number of stars, and the amenities desired, and they will give you a super low price but not tell you what hotel the price is for. I requested 3 stars (no 4 stars in my area participate with priceline) and an indoor pool, and got a price of $57 + taxes/fees = $73. I was feeling lucky, so I booked it, and found out it is a local Comfort Inn with a large atrium pool. For that tidy little price I just bought 2 days of swimming fun during vacation! And I'm very, very excited. I'll use a BoGo coupon from our Explore the City book for dinner, we've got free breakfast at the hotel and I've just entertained us for 2 days on what our one meal at Chef Mickey cost in December.

The kids were jumping up and down happy yesterday, so I suppose they are having some cabin fever too!

 

[crisi]

My daughter arranged a day like this for me a couple of weeks ago. At age 6, she decided to have my SIL pick her and her brother up and take them for the day. I had all day all alone in my home, it was fantastic!!

My husband was raised by a single mom and they are very close - and when my kids were little, his only brother lived far away (and has since passed). I like my mother in law, but for MY mother's day, I really didn't want to spend it with her. So my mother's day present for years was my husband packing the kids off to his mother. I'd have lunch with mine (a big improvement over brunch with my mother in law on mothers day), then come home to a quiet and empty house for several hours. I'm an unnatural mother

When the kids got older and less intense, and I saw less of them, we started to have Mother's Day for us - and my husband visits his Mom on Saturday.

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

Do a staycation. We take a one or two day trip within our own state. It cures the itch to travel to Disney and it gets away to explore another place. Best of all it only cost a couple $100 dollars.

 

[hsmamato2]

haven't read the whole thread but...it sounds to me like you are traveling... IDK who travels more than 3 times a year or so, you just got back,and you've got 2 more in the near future..... unless you want to be traveling more than you're home....not trying to be snarky, but if I have traveled recently,and and have the privilege of planning something in the future,then I consider myself pretty lucky,and I enjoy all the planning that goes with that. I would consider,IMHO 'not being able to travel' a period of time when I could afford to go nowhere.....

 

[pjlla]

My daughter arranged a day like this for me a couple of weeks ago. At age 6, she decided to have my SIL pick her and her brother up and take them for the day. I had all day all alone in my home, it was fantastic!!

OP here, I ended up booking a little something. My husband is off all week next week with the kids for winter break. He is so awesome for taking all that time off, but all those days in a row would wear down even the superest of super dads.

So, I checked out priceline for local hotels and did their Express deal, where you can specify the number of stars, and the amenities desired, and they will give you a super low price but not tell you what hotel the price is for. I requested 3 stars (no 4 stars in my area participate with priceline) and an indoor pool, and got a price of $57 + taxes/fees = $73. I was feeling lucky, so I booked it, and found out it is a local Comfort Inn with a large atrium pool. For that tidy little price I just bought 2 days of swimming fun during vacation! And I'm very, very excited. I'll use a BoGo coupon from our Explore the City book for dinner, we've got free breakfast at the hotel and I've just entertained us for 2 days on what our one meal at Chef Mickey cost in December.

The kids were jumping up and down happy yesterday, so I suppose they are having some cabin fever too!

First of all.... what a wonderful, mature, insightful DD you are raising, to realize that Mom needed a little alone time!

Next.... you might want to make it a CHALLENGE to see how cheaply you can actually do your mini-vacation. Look around for more restaurant and entertainment coupons. Lots of places will send you freebie coupons for "liking" them on FB or signing up for their emails. One time, for school vacation, I challenged my kids to help me plan an entirely FREE day (away from home).... we looked around and found every partially used gift card we could find in the house/junk drawer/wallets/glovebox, etc, signed up for a bunch of "freebie" coupons offers, etc. It is amazing how much FREE stuff you can get if you really try! If you plan it right, some restaurants will have a "kids eat free" night mid-week.... or maybe you can find a "free kids meal with the purchase of adult meal).... not totally free, but it will help.

I've found free bowling, free ice cream, free coffee.... not always, not often, but occasionally. The only freebie I have yet to find is free movie tickets.

Check out Living Social deals, Groupons, local papers (for school vacation specials).

Enjoy your vacation!...........P

 

[Happyjen27]

My husband was raised by a single mom and they are very close - and when my kids were little, his only brother lived far away (and has since passed). I like my mother in law, but for MY mother's day, I really didn't want to spend it with her. So my mother's day present for years was my husband packing the kids off to his mother. I'd have lunch with mine (a big improvement over brunch with my mother in law on mothers day), then come home to a quiet and empty house for several hours. I'm an unnatural mother

When the kids got older and less intense, and I saw less of them, we started to have Mother's Day for us - and my husband visits his Mom on Saturday.

I love this. I think you're a very natural mother for wanting to care for yourself on Mother's Day. Father's day always involves my husband golfing or otherwise enjoying his hobbies if he's not working. I believe in honoring mothers on mother's day, but oooh had I been getting hosed with all of the obligations. Last year, I did not like how the plans were shaping up to be all about his mom, and my mom, so when a last minute cruise deal came along, we grabbed it and I spent my mother's day at sea. Much improved!! My husband works most weekends, so he tries to fit in his Mom and me in between 4PM and bedtime, which doesn't work very well. Maybe we'll try a Saturday/Sunday celebration this year. Because we aren't going to grab that last minute cruise deal again.

First of all.... what a wonderful, mature, insightful DD you are raising, to realize that Mom needed a little alone time!

Next.... you might want to make it a CHALLENGE to see how cheaply you can actually do your mini-vacation. Look around for more restaurant and entertainment coupons. Lots of places will send you freebie coupons for "liking" them on FB or signing up for their emails. One time, for school vacation, I challenged my kids to help me plan an entirely FREE day (away from home).... we looked around and found every partially used gift card we could find in the house/junk drawer/wallets/glovebox, etc, signed up for a bunch of "freebie" coupons offers, etc. It is amazing how much FREE stuff you can get if you really try! If you plan it right, some restaurants will have a "kids eat free" night mid-week.... or maybe you can find a "free kids meal with the purchase of adult meal).... not totally free, but it will help.

I've found free bowling, free ice cream, free coffee.... not always, not often, but occasionally. The only freebie I have yet to find is free movie tickets.

Check out Living Social deals, Groupons, local papers (for school vacation specials).

Enjoy your vacation!...........P

I love it!! I'm going to do this. Thank you for the inspiration.

Step 1: Barnes and Noble. They had a promotion going for a free $10 gift card if you buy $75 in gift cards. I bought a bunch of gift cards to give as birthday gifts for all the kid parties my kids attend. I have $30 in promotional "free" gift cards that will buy us lunch after we leave the hotel! My kids and I can spend HOURS at Barnes and Noble reading and playing with the Nooks they have in the kids section.

That will take us to dinner time the day we leave the hotel, and that's when we have to be home to relieve the dog sitter (free courtesy of my dad!).

This sounds like a FUN challenge, and in alignment what I'm trying to teach my kids, it doesn't have to be expensive to be quality fun.

 

[MichelleVW]

haven't read the whole thread but...it sounds to me like you are traveling... IDK who travels more than 3 times a year or so, you just got back,and you've got 2 more in the near future..... unless you want to be traveling more than you're home....not trying to be snarky, but if I have traveled recently,and and have the privilege of planning something in the future,then I consider myself pretty lucky,and I enjoy all the planning that goes with that. I would consider,IMHO 'not being able to travel' a period of time when I could afford to go nowhere.....

I know lots of people that get to travel for fun more at least 3 times a year. I just counted my vacations last year and there were 7 of them (whew, sounds like a lot when you say it out loud lol) We have the money, bills get paid and we like to travel lol.

 

[MrsPete]

Math. Seriously, financial security trumps travel in the long run, and when I look at what i have saved and compare it to my long-term goals, it's easy to say no to spending that's outside my budget.

 

[JillianMarie]

I find it entirely foreign that people out there don't struggle with this. I can say no to anything - dinners out, new toys, cars, bigger house - but I have a really hard time saying no to traveling. I'm not even necessarily talking 'vacations' - we rarely have what I would consider vacations - but seeing what's out there will pretty much ALWAYS be my priority over just about anything else. Generally speaking I am actively planning no fewer than 6 possible trips at any one time. Obviously, there usually isn't room for all of them, but you never know what what might come along and present itself so it's best to be prepared with price points and schedules and whatnot.

For me it's pretty much never an issue of 'I can't afford this' it's an issue of 'I just have to find a way'. If you try hard enough and turn over enough stones, something turns up. So to answer your question - I don't fight it. I just sort of postpone things until the timing is slightly better. I was born with itchy feet to a family full of people with itchy feet - I am always going to be this way so I might as well embrace it.