How do I answer now?

[KarenAylwood]

I know a lot of people voted for "divorced" but I would say widow in the situation. It seems like in your heart you were together and in love, despite what legal documents may say.

This is a tragic time and I commend you for seeking help with a counselor. Goodluck, and we are here for you... no matter what you may be!

 

[DisneyPhD]

Chell, I think finding a good counselor is a very good plan. Having a safe place to talk this out can really help coping with the loss.

I can be a lot eaiser to type then to talk sometimes. Sometimes it is easier to say the hard things to those who are not family and close friends to (or at least try it out.) Another reason a good therapist will be helpful and supportive to you.

 

[Lil_Tink]

I would say -In a relationship-

 

[Stitchfans]

This is so sad, and I am so sorry. legally though yes, you are divorced. But think about how often does someone ask you that? Or how often does the subject actually come up? As someone else said just say what is in your heart if and when asked.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Again, Michelle, 's

 

[slo]

First of all, I am so sorry about your loss.

I did not answer with the majority by saying divorced, I said widowed. I guess, if I were going to give my X-Husband another chance and I was still in love with him then I would feel that we were still together even though the court declared us divorced.

 

[chell]

Thanks again everyone.

Today I went back to work and almost made it through the day.

 

[Planogirl]

I'm so sorry chell. What a hard blow this was!

I would personally say that you are legally divorced but widowed in your heart. I agree with someone else who said to say whatever feels right to you. And hang in there.

 

[Hillbeans]

I would say you're legally divorced.

But wow, I had no idea about your ex-husband passing away. I know you had some of your own health issues (ie, gallbladder) but i'm sending you along some hugs and well wishes.

 

[JuliaEeyore]

Chell, the only thing I can think to answer that is, at least he died happy.

Your story brought tears to my eyes... how incredibly heart breaking. I agree with the above. That he died happy that things were turning around. And his last thoughts were of your future together.

I think you can answer any way you want. Yes, you're legally divorced for paperwork and technical reasons, but YOU know that you were working things out and were still in love with him. And like you said, were only divorced in the first place for his own good. You never stopped loving him...

I'm so very sorry.

 

[Rajah]

Chell, I am so so so sorry. It sounds to me that while you were legally divorced, you were still married in heart and soul. Especially when you said yes to taking him back. So I would answer "widowed" socially, and only use "divorced" on legal documents.

I think I understand why you divorced him, and if you want to talk about it PLEASE feel free to email me at any time. PM me for my email addy.

 

[RickinNYC]

You refer to yourself and your situation any which damn way you please and forget anyone else that would otherwise correct you. It's not their business, it's yours and yours alone. You don't need to offer any explanations or provide any rationale. It is your life and your love and no one else's.

I'm so sorry you're going through this Chell. Wish I could be there for you.

 

[Cthia]

I am so sorry for your loss I can't imagine the heartbreak you are going thru.

Answer what you feel in your heart.

 

[kdibattista]

Just wanted to give you some and see how you are doing today.

 

[doxdogy]

I answered widowed. Even though you were divorced in the eyes of the law, it sounds as if you two were truly still married to each other on a totally different plane. I am so sorry that you are going through all this pain. Please know that we all care about you and if you need anything, please pm me.

 

[lulugirl]

I am so sorry for your loss, how tragic.
I wouldn't say widowed or divorced, in a social situation I would say "I recently lost my husband."

 

[ely3857]

In the UK (I Believe) if a couple divorce, but niether remarry prior to one of them dying then the other party becomes widowed.

My belief for this is that after the death of Princess Diana, Prince Charles was referred to (by the media) as a widower prior to his marriage to Camilla even though they had divorced some time before.



Jodie

 

[Keli]

I too agree that you would probably feel better if you hadn't divorced your dh in september. But then maybe he wouldn't have straightened up by december if you hadn't. Just because it doesn't feel good doesn't mean it wasn't the right thing to do. My heart goes out to you, I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

 

[chell]

I too agree that you would probably feel better if you hadn't divorced your dh in september. But then maybe he wouldn't have straightened up by december if you hadn't. Just because it doesn't feel good doesn't mean it wasn't the right thing to do. My heart goes out to you, I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

I have thought along those lines as well. The bottom line with myself is that I need to stop beating myself up. No matter what it was his time to go and there is/was not anything I can do to change that fact - as much as I would like to be able to change it.

I really don't mean to keep going on and on about this but it is such a horrible thing and I'm having a terrible time dealing with it. Never before have I had such a terrible time accepting or dealing with anything.

Thanks again to everyone for listening and letting me vent.

 

[chell]

Now I am wondering how long it will take for it to sink in and for my brain to remember that he is gone...

They were just showing a little preview of the news to come tonight and they said that the Food Network is in the area filming some shows this week and looking for some good fans to come out to the tapings. I was just thinking that I should pick up the phone to call Junior to see if he wanted to go with me since he loved that channel as much as I do. Then I remembered he is gone.