How Come the Happiest Place in the World is Usually Not Happy

[Ms. WDW]

You know, sometimes all that yelling may be due to just being plain ole tired! Tempers are running high; paitence is low. Kids definately have their breaking points. Usually a parent will try and make the "Disney Experience" the best ever. But us adults, as much as we may not want to admitt, well we get tired too! And there's nothing worse than kids whining cause they're tired and tired parents whining cause the kids are whining!

So I'd bet you that all that yelling is probably from trying to do in 5-6 days what should normally take 2 weeks to do!

 

[Susiesnowflake]

I think there are a lot of tired kids walking around WDW......little and big. We all want to see and do as much as we can, but early mornings, late nights, and full days eventually lead to crankiness. For toddlers, teenagers, and adults. I am sure we have all had our moments.

Some of these little ones are definitely pushed too hard though. Parents need to leave when their little ones are having major meltdowns and tantrums. I remember a little guy from our last trip. He just desperately needed a nap. I found it almost cruel that his parents wouldn't leave the park.

 

[NotUrsula]

I've met an enormous number of people who don't travel much, but somehow decided that their very first family vacation of any length would be WDW. Then, when it didn't go well, they decided that they were never going on a family vacation again!

WDW is a complicated trip. Parents who are family-travel amateurs should really not attempt it cold-turkey, unless they have been there many times before they had children. It also should not be an adult's very first theme park, unless he lives in the area and is not spending an enormous amount of money to get there.

Unlike most people who have answered this question, I think that more people have this happen through under-planning than over-planning. Very often, people have no idea of the immensity of the place, and it overwhelms the parents as much as it does the kids. They don't stop to think about what is most likely to appeal to their own tastes, and instead turn the parks into a sort of obstacle course to be gotten through at all costs. These are the people who never even look at their park maps to figure out where they are going, because they just start at one end and go blindly ride-to-ride. These are also the people who complain about getting tired of eating fries at every meal.

My personal feeling is that the biggest single favor you can do for anyone going for the first time w/ kids is to advise them against UMP's (or whatever they are calling them this year.) They are the single nastiest cause of must-do-it-all-or-die-trying stress that I know of.

 

[Matty_Disfan]

Originally posted by mslangen
Maybe this is another look of the subject why childs are crying and people look frustrated while it should be a place to have only pleasure.

Marcel.

Ha! I'm putting this into my signature.

Well put Marcel.

 

[Gillian]

For us, letting our son (2) have everything he wants on vacation won't work. It's just that we have certain standards of behavior for him, no matter where we are. He's far from perfect, but we are trying to teach him manners & such. What you may be seeing is normal discipline. It might not be pretty, but maybe that's what works for that family.

If you want my child to be given all he asks for, then don't complain if he wants out of his highchair and runs around the restaurant screaming. If you think my son should have an ice cream, then is ok if he throws a sugar high temper tantrum? I'd rather have one quick struggle about no ice cream than an hour of bad behavior because of the sugar. And BTW, ice cream will probably ruin his appetite for dinner, so be nice to us when he isn't on his best behavior while you're eating.

All families should know their limits, but only they can decide what those limits are.

 

[grinningghost]

Lots of good points being made in this thread. We also took our DD at the age of 4, and found she wasn't quite as thrilled about the experience as we thought she'd be. She got tired and was very unhappy that she didn't make the height requirement on several rides. (She's been a daredevil since birth ) While we did take the necessary breaks, it didn't seem to help much. WDW is a big place for big people, imagine how big it must seem to a little person. Her favorite part of the trip was the hotel pool. She would have stayed in there the entire time. We brought her back at the age of 7 and it was a whole new experience for her. She loved it.

Not saying young kids can't enjoy WDW, they can. In very small increments.

 

[RescueRanger]

Gillian, I couldn't agree with you more. My two DDs know they are not going to get everything they ask for. Have they had meltdowns? Sure they have, but overall our vacations have been wonderful and the meltdowns are few and far between. To me, the parents who allow their children to do do whatever they want are causing worse problems. I even witnessed a child who was getting in and out of his chair at one of the restaurants and he would run around the tables. His parents would not say anything to him. The next thing I saw was the kid running into a waitress with a fully loaded tray. Luckily, she did not drop her tray, but someone including the kid might have gotten hurt. Parents need to learn how to say NO every once in awhile instead of taking the easy road with no discipline. Just MHO. By the way, we almost always take a break in the afternoon, I don't care if the kids need it or not... I usually need it LOL.

 

[BeckWhy]

I think its a matter of how much the parents control their kids, and as one said, the parents don't understand the kids' needs. I mean, if you want to break it down to, possibly the kid(s) having ADHD or ODD, during vacations they are usually taken off their drugs. This would cause major problems for the parents. But I also believe that ADHD is overly diagnosed, and most of the kids don't have it, its just they were raised badly or something and the parents have no control or something. When you talk about parents yelling at their kids, chances are the parents are very stressed. Vacations, which were supposed to be relaxing, can also be very stressful.

 

[patattack]

I am in my early fifities & my wife mid fifties, We learned on our 1st family trip to WDW that we were overloading our kids. I had spent days forging out out combat approach to the parks. Went through it minute by minute. When to be at the gate, the best route to the first ride. We ran at full speed everywhere. After day 1 with an eight & ten year old, I was quickly put in my place when my son and daughter announced, they did not want to go back to the parks. Day 2 we spent at our resort (CBR) and we all at a ball. Needless to say the rest of the trip we slowed down, took our time and really enjoyed the experience. To this day our kids still love WDW at ages 19 & 22. We snuck away to WDW in October (just wife & I), our kids found out so we took them in December. Wife & I sneeking away again next week. If kids find out we are in trouble. To all parents, do not ruin your childrens vacations. Slow down & enjoy. We all have a lifetime to see and do it all. That is a little advice from "been there, done that."

 

[jaysue]

I agree, need to listen to what the kids want to do and occassionally help them to test their fears and limits with the some of the rides and attractions.

For example if you want them to go on BTMRR try Goofy's coaster first in Toontown and check the reaction. If they do not want to go on BTMRR under any circumstances then try another ride or attraction.

When I took DS 3 1/2 with me, I had him on my shoulders (I am thankful I can do that) almost all the time - this kept him happy and rested and fresh for the rides and attractions. And my great DW went back with DS around noon for about 2.5 hours of retreat and then met me later back in the same park or another one.

Sometimes they swam, napped or just had a nice quiet lunch but it was good for him to get a break.

Maybe we are just lucky but no major meltdowns or our trip with DS but sometimes DH (me) and DW had some medium disagreements



Thanks
Jason

 

[Gillian]

RescueRanger, I need my afternoon naps too!

I think because we've been to WDW so many times, it's easy for us to take it slowly without feeling bad. I always try to plan new activites & hit the old favorites, but I figure we'll be going again soon so no big deal if we miss something. DS still won't ride Dumbo -- we have to keep going back until he will!

I do feel for the families who feel pressured to cram everything into 1 week. It makes it hard to take a guilt free break or a pool day. I always advise friends & family to plan a lot of downtime.

 

[gonga]

My DH and I notice the same thing...grumpy faces and scowls and lots of complaining. You have to remember although WDW is fun, it is not by any means relaxing vacation. Most people over plan, getting up too early trying to "get all the rides in" in a short amount of time, trying to control every minute and staying till close. Cannot and should not be done, well it can if you want to have a stressful trip. Wehn its all said and done, you will find there is plenty of time for everyone and everything, just relax and enjoy. If you don't get to see something - theres always next time!

First of all - it's hot (usually) which makes you cranky. Lots of walking, more than most people do on a typical day. Kids are overwhelmed and have been hyped up for the trip since it was planned, most are frightened by the crowds, Mickey Mouse, not sleeping in their own beds, the trip to get there and parents over-planning the trip too much in one day. I see most small children loving the "little" things in Disney - a balloon, the trains, the water fountains, an icecream, etc. Parents expect too much in trying to do a good thing for thier kids and putting a high expectation on a very tiring and exhaustful trip. Let the day flow and try not to plan too much - if your tired sleep a little later. If your hot and tired go back to the hotel for a swim or a nap. I find the best trips are the ones not planned with the exception of dinner reservations.

Also reflecting back to my childhood summer vacation memeories - the most fun we had as kids was going to Florida, staying in a hotel on the beach with the family making sandcastles, collecting shells, having fresh OJ squeezed at the beach bar for us. Not WDW (which we were taken to) in which I grew to love as an adult.

 

[manchurianbrownbear]

We went pretty hard on our one and only previous WDW trip and fortunately, the kids did pretty well. I agree with those of you who have theorized that much of the yelling is the result of tired kids and tired parents!

In the "real world" we don't tolerate tantrums. At home a tantrum gets you some "time out" or loss of priveleges. If one of our kids has a tantrum in public we take them home, or, if that isn't an option we'll go have time out in the car. I have always thought that my kids do not have the right to ruin someone else's experience at a restaurant, store, etc... Just because they're unhappy doesn't mean they're entitled to annoy the people around them.

When we go to WDW the trip is definitely more for the kids than for me and DW, but that doesn't mean that our kids get everything they want. Kids sometimes ask for things that aren't good for them. And, since we have four kids, doing what one kids wants to do would often mean doing something another one doesn't want to do.

Our goal is for kids learn consideration for others. That means you don't always get your way and there are consequences for "pitching a fit".

BTW, if you see me at WDW this fall, I'll probably be the dad counseling a kid who is pitching a fit!

 

[raidermatt]

Some kids are prone to tantrums, some are not.

Some parents yell a lot, some do not.

Why would anyone expect things to be any different at WDW?

Further, as several have said, you are witnessing a brief moment in the lives of those people. Would you want somebody to judge you by what could be your worst moment of the day, or even week?

For every one child you see crying, or "obviously over-stimulated", dozens, or even hundreds walk by without even capturing your attention because they are not crying or over-stimulated.

In 5 minutes, that same crying child may be perfectly fine, and one of the "angels" you saw might be crying somewhere else.

Such is life, and we see it on a smaller scale at our local department stores every day.

Perhaps if we all kept things in that context, we wouldn't be disturbed so much by it that we are lecturing about it months after we last went to WDW.

I'm sure I saw a crying child or two on our last trip, or a parent who didn't seem to be handling things the way I thought they should. But you could offer me a billion bucks and I still couldn't tell you about a single specific incident.

The vast majority of people are trying to do their best, and despite what some say, the vast majority are having a great time.

As far as our particular style, we have roughly the same expectations and rules for our son as we do at home, or when at the mall. There's no way in heck that he's having an ice cream sundae for lunch, and since the answer at home is no, he's not surprised when the answer at WDW is no.

He doesn't get a toy at every store we walk into at home, and he doesn't get one at every store in WDW.

If you walk by while I am giving him a stern "no" that he's not happy about, well, you can rest assured that we are indeed having a wonderful time, but are just having one of those necessary moments that are a part of him growing up and me trying to be the best parent I can be.

Come back 5 minutes later and you'll see a more representative picture.

 

[ljmorgan]

My DH and I have just returned from a lovely 4 day weekend at Disney to see our DD perform in the Magic Music Days. We were very sneaky and did not let DD know that we were coming to see her perform. We managed to bump into her on the 3rd day we were there at MGM studios. Needless to say she was surprised but very pleased to see us and she spent the rest of that day and the next day with us and another friend of hers instead of hanging with a larger group of school chums.
I found it very interesting that for the first 2 1/2 days we were there just DH and I, we were very relaxed. We had decided that we would just go and do things we wanted to do at a slower, less frenetic pace. We stayed at the Yacht club which has a delightful walk to Epcot and our time together was very romantic. Once we hooked up with the DD things moved at a faster pace. It wasn't bad at all (we were so thrilled to be there with her), it was just a little different.
We've been lucky because we've been able to come several times this past year and a half. I think when you know that you are coming home to Disney,you don't have to do everything. Disney is about the details and enjoying those special moments. The times when we've had other people outside our family with us it has been hard because their expectations weren't always met. I find that as long as I can do a few things that I want (ie. Spectromagic parade, Illuminations, World showcase, and Thunder mountain) I can take whatever every one else wants to do and even their disappointments.

 

[CarolA]

I have no kids and don't pretend to be an expert. However, it has been my experience with my young Girl Scouts that yelling at crying kids has limited effect (except to make them cry more!)

I watched a dad yell at his kid while I walked about half way around the World Showcase behind them. SHe was crying he kept threating to spank her if she did not quit crying (This was actually one of my dad's lines so I was laughing! It had the same effect on her as me, she cried harder!)

I did see a parent just haul off and whack a kid on the head one day and I MEAN HARD. You could hear the pop a long way. I really wish I had done something because from watching the kid this was not the first time it had happened. He did not cry. Dad was just off in left field someplace!!! I have been spanked, but this probably met the standards for child abuse and I have felt bad ever since that I did not go find security. I was just too shocked!

 

[phyllis1966]

Our first trip to WDW with our DD was just this past October, and DD was 3 1/2 yrs. old. We all had a great time, but there were times when she started to get tired and cranky, of course. So, we just tried to slow things down a bit, or she would fall asleep in her stroller, or we would head back to the hotel for a swim and/or a nap. There was only 1 tantrum, at Seaworld, because she wanted to take yet another photo with my camera and I finally had to say no. Well, all hell broke loose and EVERYONE stared (embarrassing), but we tried to remain as calm as possible, and she got over it in about 10 minuted, although it seemed like longer! One of her favorite things was to touch EVERYTHING in the gift shops (be careful, that's breakable!). I have to say, we really didn't notice that many "miserable" people - everyone looked like they were having a great time. After all, it is the "happiest place on earth!"

 

[goofymom23]

Kids are kids, they need vacations too. Disney is Magic it must be enjoyed in that light. I think if you yell at your kids at home then you will yell at them in Disney. I think most people at Disney are happy and enjoying it, it is just a few who are not. I think many parents do not know how to handle their kids, they work all day, the kids are in school or daycare then the kids do extra activites and the parents do their thing, they really do not know each other or how to get along for an extended period of time together, I think this is ashame. Disney is to be enjoyed, if you go to a magic show and keep trying to figure out the magic or do not let yourself believe then you won't enjoy the magic, Disney is the same way, relax and enojy it, it is the best place in the world. As Whitney on Different World used to say, relax, relate release.

 

[Planogirl]

I think a lot depends on how much travelling a family does to begin with. We've always travelled extensively with DS and staying at a hotel or going to a busy venue is not a big deal to us. When he was small he needed that midday rest however. Our method in the beginning was to loosely follow the UOG touring plan letting DS set the pace. We would return to the hotel for a nap in the afternoon and then tour in a relaxed fashion in the evening. It worked quite well for us and I certainly enjoyed those naps. Unfortunately, DS is ready to go constantly now though so I don't get as much rest!

But families do need to set a pace that works for the slowest member of their group IMO. I've seen the yelling and crying too and I think that often it's the parents that are overly tired.

 

[jessiesue]

Like your reply Raidermatt!