How can YOU be judged/discriminated against?

[Wishing on a star]

I can think of another point. I've learned more about my fellow DISers from this thread than any other single thread I've read. It is very interesting to learn more about people. That alone is reason enough for this thread.

True!
It wasn't the intent of the OP, but very true.

Excellent point indeed!

 

[Charade]

Just remember, the only person who can let these judgments affect you, is you.

 

[tiff211]

You might be referring to me since I put that I "live in a McMansion" on my list.

If so, please re-visit my post (page 3). I think you'll see that I don't call myself discriminated. However, I do say I've been harshly criticized. For the sake of this thread, "judged" would actually be the right word.


I reread and see that I mispoke so I stand corrected.

 

[kribit]

Thankfully, I don't think I've actually ever been discriminated against. However, I have been harshly criticized many many times. Some of the main reasons...

I don't attend church regularly (hardly at all, TBH)
WOHM
I live in a McMansion in suburbia, where I drive a minivan to my kids' soccer games and music lessons
I'm thin
BF in public
Employed an au pair (2, actually)
Pro-choice
Anti-universal healthcare

I just now read your post about the McMansion. I hope you didn't think I was being rude by saying big deal about a big house. I hadn't looked at your post. Sorry if I offended.

 

[Planogirl]

I'm female
I'm a female engineer
I live in Frisco, Texas
I used day care
I bottlefed
I don't care much about what most others think of me (and that drives relatives insane. )

 

[englishteacha]

I'm a woman.
I'm married.
I'm of Norwegian and British ancestry.
I'm naturally blond.
I'm a teacher.
I'm either a very liberal Republican or a very conservative Democrat.
I'm the youngest of 8 children.
I guess I'm young.
I have no children, by choice. (but someday we might change our minds.)
I'm pro-choice but also very much pro-adoption.
I'm a Christian.

 

[Cindy B]

What an eye opening thread!

I forgot one biggie that I am dealing with right now:

I am going to college and will be the first generation in my family to graduate.

For my "born" family, I am discriminated and judged for this all the time. I have had NO support from my parents, sibling, or aunt/uncle for this. In fact, no one wants to come to my college graduation because well-- I'm smarter than them--so they say.

It's rough and I hate it. I know that on my college graduation day, my husband and children will be there and that is all I need.

 

[Cindy B]

I know how you feel -- I have a hooker name.

Candy? Buffy? Cookie? Taffy?

Considering these were names of kids when I was in school, I think Cindy is an ok choice. It's still ditzy but better than Candy or Taffy...

 

[RitaZ.]

What an eye opening thread!

I forgot one biggie that I am dealing with right now:

I am going to college and will be the first generation in my family to graduate.

For my "born" family, I am discriminated and judged for this all the time. I have had NO support from my parents, sibling, or aunt/uncle for this. In fact, no one wants to come to my college graduation because well-- I'm smarter than them--so they say.

It's rough and I hate it. I know that on my college graduation day, my husband and children will be there and that is all I need.

Cindy, that's a shame. It's their loss.

The great thing is that your husband and children will be there to watch you graduate. You're a great example to your children.

 

[Robinrs]

Heck NAME IT.... I'm all of the above!


But you know what, I don't care and never have. Like my Mom always said when my SISTERS made major judgement against me "she's not hurting anybody... leave her ALONE!"

My Mom helped me to survive every judgement set against me.

I was the first and only black child in my elementary school to skip a grade. The school was boycotted. We were called names like you wouldn't believe trying to enter the school. My mother had to come up to the school numerous times to protect me.... from the other kids... their parents... AND THE TEACHERS.

I survived it.

We were the first black family to move into a brand new apartment complex in Brooklyn. Every day we leave our apartment there was either dog feces or marker on the walls with very lovely words...

I survived THAT.

I was the only black girl in every one of my classes until I went to college. Then I walked into college at 4feet 11 and 16 years old. I graduated 4 years later with two degrees after being almost MOLESTED by two professors and an assistant... with pedophilia tendencies...

I survived it.

I entered the work world and was the first and only black person in both of my jobs out of college. I had to prove myself over and over but guess what?

I survived it.

Discrimination can be seen and experienced in so many ways. It doesn't have to be accepted or become a part of you or who you are.

My son's best friend is a paraplegic in a wheelchair. He swims, plays soccer and attends regular middle school. Yes, people stare, yes, people make decisions about him...

But his SMILE could BLIND you and the love in his heart is the same one I had when I was a child. He decided, like I decided, to BELIEVE his parents. They said I was BEAUTIFUL and I could do ANYTHING.

They were right!

 

[lovemygoofy]

I'm sorry I'm coming back to the thread so late. I appreciate each and every person that responded to this thread. I found it very interesting! There are so many things I never even thought about until reading them.

My intent was not to start drama or undermine those that overcome real adversity but it was to maybe help us understand that everyone can be judged by anything. Heck even your name can cause people to judge you! I think it would nice if people would just hold their tongue for a minute and really think before saying and maybe we would get alot more accomplished in this world.

Again, thank you all that put yoursevles out there in posting in this thread. Maybe some of ya'll will do this among your class or friends or even a group of people you don't know as an ice breaker. It really is an eye opener.

 

[grlpwrd]

I can think of another point. I've learned more about my fellow DISers from this thread than any other single thread I've read. It is very interesting to learn more about people. That alone is reason enough for this thread.

Ditto. I don't think I have ever read a more informative thread than this one.

Me?

I am multiracial. I grew up in Hawaii and though people believe it is a melting pot I experienced discrimination. Plus, I am married to a Caucasian man and I have personally experienced 3 situations of discrimination due to our "mixed marriage" while living in the continental US.

I also believe in attachment parenting, extended breastfeeding, and eating natural foods/organic/etc. Some people think we are freaks because we don't use chemical cleansers in our home.

I am a Christian, I lived with my now-husband while we were college students, and we got married 3 weeks after I had my first child. (I didn't believe in marriage back then.)

I also grew up poor yet now I live "comfortably." I have experienced discimination on both sides of the spectrum.

 

[Aidensmom]

This is a really interesting thread.

I have been discriminated against for being a female.

Things that people may judge me for:

I'm short
I'm thin
I am very quiet and reserved in real life (I'm a little more outgoing online )
I am a Christian
I have been divorced
I have a tattoo
I got pregnant out of wedlock
I'm a Libertarian
I am pro-life (the exception to the above)
I'm blonde
I share a refillable mug with my son at Disney
I don't have a perfect child, he can downright be a pain in the rear
My child is not gifted
My child attends public school
I work full time

And I don't really care that people judge me for any of that. I like who I am. And I find it funny that some people will judge me for that too.

 

[agentpleakley]

This is a really interesting thread.

I have been discriminated against for being a female.

Things that people may judge me for:

I have a tattoo

I share a refillable mug with my son at Disney
I don't have a perfect child, he can downright be a pain in the rear
My child is not gifted
My child attends public school
I work full time

.

Me too. I've got 2 of those pains --- sometimes.

 

[nhrenee]

Wow! And I thought I was a mind boggling mass of contradictions. (and I totally mean that in the nicest possible way. Please don't feel negatively judged.)

No problem, you should see me try to vote.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

I think this thread has been enlightening in that it shows that we tend to have far more similarities than differences, or at the very least, someone that may have a quality that we may judge them for also has at least 1 thing in common with us.

 

[Tasha+Scott]

I like this answer



The big ones that I think have impacted my life...

1. I'm a Yankee that moved to the South (Pittsburgh to Mississippi -- lots of comments) -- ignorant people

2. I'm very dark skinned and have unusual features --Eastern European/Italian descent - - lots of people say I'm not white

3. I'm Russian Orthodox ---- my FIL tells me I worship a different God. -- ignorant people

4. I'm one of the 3 mothers who work at my children's school -- this has been the BIGGEST thing I have been discriminated against to date.

Okay, this list is unreal in some of the similarities to me.

1. I also live in Mississippi but was not raised here and have been called a damn Yankee more than once. Most people are saying it in a joking manner at least.

2. I am also dark (dark hair and eyes) and have a wide nose. I am half Italian with German and British roots as well. I can not even tell you how many people here have actually argued with me that I must be Native American or Latina. I am neither.

3. I'm not Russian Orthodox but my name is a Russian name.

4. I am not a mother who works at a school but I am a mother who goes to school.

As far as being judged, I feel pretty blessed and don't let most judgments get to me. There are things I can add to the list but nothing that I really and truly let get to me.

~I have been judged by my age more than once. I'm too old for some circles and too young for others.
~I have a brother who is deaf.
~I married young and had a child somewhat young (though I was married 5.5 years before she was born.)
~I am a Christian but I do not attend church regularly for personal reasons.
~I live in Mississippi so therefore I must be ignorant.
~I did not breastfeed my dd but might breastfeed the next one.
~I am a non-traditional college student.
~My dd goes to daycare full time while I attend school.
~I do not make my dd say "yes, sir/maam" and "no, sir/maam" which is custom here.
~My dd has just now really become pottytrained during the day (still not at night) and she's almost 3. This was a HUGE issue with some people. I figure if they are not the ones changing her diapers then it's none of their business.
~My dd does not want to stop sleeping in a crib and it is no big deal to me. Another issue with some people. Oh, well.
~My dh owns guns and loves to hunt. He was born and raised here so my "Yankee" relatives love to tease him for his strong Southern accent.
~People in this area have actually asked my husband if he is married to a black woman because of my name. My name is actually Russian according to all the baby books (though some have that it is Native American) but it was a popular name among African Americans in this state around the time I was born.
~I have actually been discriminated against for being white. It's a long story and I don't let it get to me. It was a long time ago.

Again, those are things that I could be judged by or have been judged by but not things that bother me too much. Some people have had it much worse!

 

[Bobbles]

Heck NAME IT.... I'm all of the above!


But you know what, I don't care and never have. Like my Mom always said when my SISTERS made major judgement against me "she's not hurting anybody... leave her ALONE!"

My Mom helped me to survive every judgement set against me.

I was the first and only black child in my elementary school to skip a grade. The school was boycotted. We were called names like you wouldn't believe trying to enter the school. My mother had to come up to the school numerous times to protect me.... from the other kids... their parents... AND THE TEACHERS.

I survived it.

We were the first black family to move into a brand new apartment complex in Brooklyn. Every day we leave our apartment there was either dog feces or marker on the walls with very lovely words...

I survived THAT.

I was the only black girl in every one of my classes until I went to college. Then I walked into college at 4feet 11 and 16 years old. I graduated 4 years later with two degrees after being almost MOLESTED by two professors and an assistant... with pedophilia tendencies...

I survived it.

I entered the work world and was the first and only black person in both of my jobs out of college. I had to prove myself over and over but guess what?

I survived it.

Discrimination can be seen and experienced in so many ways. It doesn't have to be accepted or become a part of you or who you are.

My son's best friend is a paraplegic in a wheelchair. He swims, plays soccer and attends regular middle school. Yes, people stare, yes, people make decisions about him...

But his SMILE could BLIND you and the love in his heart is the same one I had when I was a child. He decided, like I decided, to BELIEVE his parents. They said I was BEAUTIFUL and I could do ANYTHING.

They were right!

WOW! With all those "firsts", I think you may be in a history book some day!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I graduated 4 years later with two degrees after being almost MOLESTED by two professors and an assistant... with pedophilia tendencies...

I'm not being snarky, I am genuinely curious. How is one "almost molested" by someone?

 

[Robinrs]

I'm not being snarky, I am genuinely curious. How is one "almost molested" by someone?

I guess that was an incorrect term, I guess I should have said harrassed.

I looked VERY young for my age back then, I had one professor tell me I was a man's DREAM, a woman who looked like a child!!! I was 16!!!

I found out my History professor lived not far from me in a close by apartment complex. I met him while walking one day. He noted that I missed or was late for a few classes, the class was at 8am. I told him I'm sorry and I'll try getting there earlier. He told me if I "come up to his apartment" we can forget about those problems.... I remember RUNNING home (just based on the lacivious look on his face) and dropping the course the next day.

My theatre professor who I really admired, invited me to come with him to Fiji.. in front of the class. Everyone laughed, I didn't. Later on he told me that I'd get an A for the class just for coming to the island with him... I didn't but got an A anyway.

Another theatre professor, a VERY old man who was in a wheelchair, asked me to stay behind after class to talk about a report I was doing. He had me come close to see the paper he was holding then grabbed me and started groping me. I was amazed and appalled and ran out of the building.

Note, these things happened in the early 70s. I knew NOTHING about sexual harrassment or how to protect myself, all I knew was these people that I admired and revered tried to use me and hurt me. I was also (back in the sexual revolution at the time) a virgin all the way THRU college!

I guess that's what I meant by ALMOST!