How can YOU be judged/discriminated against?

[momof3littlelilos]

1. I am Caucasian (I have rarely seen a stark paperwhite person) - this mattered in the 3rd grade when my Mississippi public school was integrated and I was the only Caucasian girl in my class (there were only 3 total in my classroom of about 25 kids).

6. I prefer to refer to my race as Human - some people think that is silly and don't get the point that I am trying to make. I have family members of different races, colors and religions. I have good friends of different races, colors and religions. I love them all dearly. Human covers us all.

.

Similiar school experience for me going to Boston Public Schools after busing and the "white flight". In a lot of ways my early school years were like a photographic negative of most everyone elses experience.

I also check of "other" and fill in "Human" when asked for demographic information

 

[Charade]

If everyone feels they are judged or discriminated against in some way or another, then doesn't that make it normal?

 

[RealMickeysGirl]

I really appreciated your post. I've had different experiences with being a Yankee coming to the South.

On a humorous note, DH is from MS (I am not - but have lived in the South since 1992) -- anyway, we traveled to Denver this past November (DS won a contest and we went to compete in the finals) -- we were the only people from the Southeast US. The comments were pretty unbelievable. After receiving some not nice comments, I turned to DH, then looked at the speaker and said "We bought him his first pair of shoes for this trip -- he still hasn't learned to tie them though."

Thank you. I love the part about his first pair of shoes.

 

[Mean Queen]

If everyone feels they are judged or discriminated against in some way or another, then doesn't that make it normal?

It is human nature to compare yourself to others and in doing so, we make judgments. While discrimination is normal, many instances are extreme.

 

[momof3littlelilos]

People judge me because of certain things but I have never been discriminated against because of them. How are you discriminated against for living in a big house? What defintition are you going by?

I'm going OT...sorry
I suppose I agree that it's not discrimination...but I admit that I do make negative judgements against people who live in McMansions...But we don't exclude them.
I'm really weirded out lately that my DD7 has a BFF who lives in a McMansion...They've each been to each others house for playdates and B-Day parties...And her mom seems nice enough. I just assume they're not going to ever become too friendly with us because we're low rent neighborhood people.
Geez Louise...how do we ever get out of the whole judgement thing and just BE?

 

[RealMickeysGirl]

If everyone feels they are judged or discriminated against in some way or another, then doesn't that make it normal?

Honestly, everyone judges and everyone is judged. Even if we try not to. We may not judge someone by the color of their skin but we may judge them because they talk to loud, they are too fat/too thin, are alcoholic, too liberal/too conservative, too rich/too poor, whatever.

Some of this is subconscious - we may not realize that we treat certain people differently - this is why it is important to occasionally examine why you act/treat people the way you do. And then determine, is this the kind of person I want to be or do I want to change.

No one is going to like everyone (for whatever reason) - The point is that we should treat all people with respect.

 

[december]

Alot of people on this thread are focusing on the word discrimination. The op asked why we would be JUDGED/discriminated. And now some of us are being judged by what we feel judged on!

 

[momof1princess]

let's see...

-i'm female.
-i'm STILL overweight by about 30-40 lbs, even after gastric bypass surgery.
-i'm from alabama and have a THICK southern accent (this immediately makes me backward, inbred and stupid in a LOT of ppl's eyes, none of which is the case).
-i'm a SAHM (former legal secretary) who doesn't know what she wants to be when she grows up, so i must be lazy and unmotivated, right?
-i don't care to attend church, even though MIL is a pastor.
-my DD goes to church w/ my in-laws and it's a small country church w/o a lot of kids, so obviously my DD is being scarred for life by not having that huge church social circle (this is my grandmother's opinion, which she voices loudly and often).
-i'm not a very good housekeeper, but i do try.
-i'm an involved mom who helps out at school, volunteers w/ the pto and attends all class parties (you'd be surprised at the looks i get from the working moms)
-my DD is an only child, and will always be an only child (not by choice). i hear "why didn't you ever have another baby?" at least once or twice a week.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

I am white

I am female (and was not allowed to take certain classes because of that - try going to college for Engineering when you weren't "allowed" to take Physics in high school because you are a girl)

I went to an all white private school from Kindergarten thru 12th grade (yes these still exist and no I am not a racist because my parents sent me there to school)

I am Southern although my accent is very subtle if at all detectable

I am the wife of an Army officer (apparently DH's rank determines who is allowed to be friends with me around here - whatever)

I work in a field dominated by good ole boys (if I had a dollar for every time I was called "little lady" I would be a wealthy woman)

I travel for work (apparently that makes me a lousy Mom)

I'm tall

I'm a member of a Southern Baptist church but I have quite a few gay friends including the Godfather to my daughters.

Oh and my favorite -

I'm close friends with my ex-husband. DDs friend's Mom thought that was odd and didn't let her child come over to our house because of that.

 

[nhrenee]

I'm a moderate democrat.
I'm a vegetarian.
I'm very pro-gun.
I'm a lapse catholic, ds was baptized in a presbyt. chuch, dd is not baptized.
I'm pro hunting for consumption.
I have the fashion sense of a rock.
I'm considered a treehugger by some, not so much by treehuggers.
I'm a sahm.
I breastfed both my kids.
Neither kids were potty trained by age 3.
I have a very hard time expressing myself, both in my writing and orally. I sound dumber than I really am.

Tina, thanks for starting this post. It's been though provoking.

 

[momof3littlelilos]

I'm a moderate democrat.
I'm a vegetarian.

I'm pro hunting for consumption.
Tina, thanks for starting this post. It's been though provoking.

Wow! And I thought I was a mind boggling mass of contradictions. (and I totally mean that in the nicest possible way. Please don't feel negatively judged.)

 

[Mickey'sMainMami]

Wow, I really think this thread is informative, sorry if op think that most of us white people don't have anything to complain about, but the fact of the matter is, I am sure at one time or another, all of us have been discriminated against. Hopefully more people will read our thread and think next time the act or show judgement/dicrimination.

I am an American
I am white, but am married to a hispanic
I am a woman
I have no kids, want them, but can't have them
I didn't finish college
I am overweight
I am married to someone who has kids from another relationship, and even though I met my husband after those two had broken up, she hasn't gotten over it, so now her and her friends all hate me and tell me I ruined their kids lives. I have a lot more enemies than friends
I don't have a political stance, in fact I think all politicians talk and don't act


I want to say that I have been discrimintated in my own family for dating a hispanic guy, so now those who had a problem with it, I don't talk to anymore.

I don't have kids, but do hope I do someday, but you wouldn't believe the comments I get from mothers that tell me I just don't get it. It's like they are this big club and I don't belong, even though I have been pregnant 5 times and have given birth to fetuses twice.

I have been turned down for a job as a bartender because I was overweight. Funny, the manager looked at my resume and stated I didn't have enough experience. Yet while I was sitting at the table with the other candidates, they all were skinny and got to go on to the next round of interviews, yet I was talking to two of them, and they were fresh out of bartending school, with no job experience. I had gone to bartending school too and I had 2 short jobs as a bartender. yet I was told thanks but no thanks.

I didn't finish college, and my brother judges me all the time for this. I am less of a person in his eyes because I didn't finish.

We are all judged no matter what or who you are. Time for us all to take a step back and try to start being nicer to eachother, don't you think?

 

[mom2rb]

I was a working mom, now I stay home.
My twins wore diapers until they were 3 1/2.
I am a liberal, homeschooling, Atheist in the bible belt.
I married a Yankee.
My boys don't play football. In fact one is a gymnast and the other is a ballet dancer.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Cmon people... EVERYBODY is constantly, in their mind, making judgements. That is not a crime. People have different beliefs, priorities, lifestyles. And yes, they are often in fundamental disagreement. That's life...

Why do people think that everyone has to fully accept them and agree with them, or it is unfair 'judgement' or 'discrimination'. I have never expected anyone to fully accept or agree with me. This type of thinking only serves to set one up for disappointment, and for always being a 'victim'.

Of course, true discrimination, based on things upon which one has NO control over, (such as skin color) is a completely different issue.

That being said, here is my partial list.

Ways in which I might be discriminated against.
1. I am short in stature
2. I am female.
3. Put both of these together DOUBLE WHAMMY

Ways in which I might be 'judged'. (not discriminated against)
1. I am conservative
2. I hold protestant christian beliefs
3. I see huge problems in our educational system, and do not immediately give our educational establishment unrestricted rights. (INSTANT and very strong judgement and namecalling on this one. Nobody dare question our educational system or any educator)
4. I am confident in my beliefs, and communicate as such. This seems to just invite judgement and criticism.

etc.... etc... etc...
One could go on FOREVER...
So, what's the point???

 

[ChrizJen]

I am female
I am a lesbian
I am overweight

Those are really the only qualities about me for which I truly feel that I have been discriminated against. But I won't question or belittle others and their lists. There's no telling what can cause people to single out others. I've even heard that being short or having curly hair (which mine is naturally) can make people seem less intelligent. Heh?
I don't really know about all of that, but I do know that people in different areas of the world can discriminate for many different reasons. Just depends on where you are.
-Christal

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

I may be interpreting it wrong, but to me it seems like by making the list and thinking about the things you can be judged about, it makes you less likely to judge others.

I agree 100%! I think this has been a very interesting thread. No, I don't think people face overt discrimination regarding many of the things listed, but they feel judged nonetheless. I'm a lesbian. That's one of the biggies as far as the word "discrimination" goes, but I don't begrudge people coming here and saying they feel discriminated based on their hair color or the fact that they are attractive. I'm sure people know that hair color is small compared to sexual orientation or skin color. We're not making these lists to have some kind of pissing contest; honestly, I think this is what the OP was looking for; to find out what makes people feel as though they stick out in a negative way. I think it does people a lot of good to see the various ways in which you can hurt others. Perhaps it'll make some of us more sensitive.

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

Cmon people... EVERYBODY is constantly, in their mind, making judgements. That is not a crime. People have different beliefs, priorities, lifestyles. And yes, they are often in fundamental disagreement. That's life...

Why do people think that everyone has to fully accept them and agree with them, or it is unfair 'judgement' or 'discrimination'. I have never expected anyone to fully accept or agree with me. This type of thinking only serves to set one up for disappointment, and for always being a 'victim'.

Of course, true discrimination, based on things upon which one has NO control over, (such as skin color) is a completely different issue.

That being said, here is my partial list.

Ways in which I might be discriminated against.
1. I am short in stature
2. I am female.
3. Put both of these together DOUBLE WHAMMY

Ways in which I might be 'judged'. (not discriminated against)
1. I am conservative
2. I hold protestant christian beliefs
3. I see huge problems in our educational system, and do not immediately give our educational establishment unrestricted rights. (INSTANT and very strong judgement and namecalling on this one. Nobody dare question our educational system or any educator)
4. I am confident in my beliefs, and communicate as such. This seems to just invite judgement and criticism.

etc.... etc... etc...
One could go on FOREVER...
So, what's the point???

I can think of another point. I've learned more about my fellow DISers from this thread than any other single thread I've read. It is very interesting to learn more about people. That alone is reason enough for this thread.

 

[katerkat]

1. I'm a Yankee that moved to the South (Pittsburgh to Mississippi -- lots of comments) -- ignorant people

I was a New Jerseyian living in Mississippi for a while. People "affectionately" called me the damn Yankee reporter.

 

[RealMickeysGirl]

(snip) We're not making these lists to have some kind of pissing contest; honestly, I think this is what the OP was looking for; to find out what makes people feel as though they stick out in a negative way. I think it does people a lot of good to see the various ways in which you can hurt others. Perhaps it'll make some of us more sensitive.

That was why I gave some explainations with my list - and I was thinking more along the lines of judged instead of discriminated against.

All people judge other people (as another of my posts stated). I think the way it was worded, a lot of people probably lumped prejudiced/judged/discriminated against into one thing and made their list. That's what I did.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I am American (and traveled in Europe! EYE-OPENER!)
I am female
I am overweight
I am half of a DINK
I work in the Entertainment business (I get labeled sometimes for allowing bad TV or movies...hello, I HATE violent movies and I have no say anyway)
I drive a jalopy in a world of BMW's
I go to Disneyland all the time.
I have no children, want them, ain't got none.
I am a democrat but don't always vote that way