How bad do you think this is?

[Scornelius]

How bad do I think this is?

Not the worst that could happen. I wonder if your son was more embarassed than "hurt" because he thought he was being funny and was told, in no uncertain terms and in front of the class, he was not. Sorry, I'm not much help.

I agree with this completely. Few things are as fragile as a teenage boy's ego, and I bet he was mortified that his joke went over like a lead balloon. I think he should let her know he didn't mean to be disrespectful. I'm sure it will all smooth over.

And OP, kudos to you for not going all 'helicopter'. I'm sure many people would be petitioning for that teacher's dismissal and remuneration from the school board.

 

[EmmersIsTheMommy]

Yeah I'm in the 'he was being a brat' catagory..and that MIGHT be why she doesn't like him? (if she really doesn't..I also have a feeling she was irritated with the noise and he didn't help..not that she really doesn't like him)

If I'd said something like that in a class I would've deserved the comment and known that too *shrug*

 

[EmmersIsTheMommy]

oh also now I'm remembering my friend being called one. He was giving our student teacher a hard time and she was good about it..but one time my friend grabbed the leg of a chair tha tanother kid was leaning back on. The kid fell. The student teacher goes "hey, if he'd hit his head that wouldn't have been as funny!"

And my friend goes "AS funny?"

He deserved it LOL

 

[BuffettFan]

Personally I would let it go. I think a classroom full of teenagers should be able to handle hearing the word "smartass".
Was she wrong to say it.....perhaps, but it's not something I would get upset over.

I totally agree!
You have to pick your battles, and this doesn't seem worth it.
Your talking about 15 year olds, not 5 year olds.

I know I've told my own teens, and their friends to quit being a smartass more than once......

 

[Cool-Beans]

Wouldn't bother me. I wouldn't even have to ask my kids what they'd done...if I heard that someone called them a smartass, I'd probably say, "I'm sure they were right." And I'd be glad that someone else was pointing it out because that would be backing me up, lol.

"Smartass" is one of my favorite words regarding my family. DH is the world's #1 Biggest Smartass. I taught the kids from a young age..."What is daddy? Daddy is..." and they'd reply so very happily "a SMARTYPANTS!" Kids and I enjoyed that one very much. As they got older, they learned the grown-up version. I call the kids smartasses, too, but not as often as doofuses.

So, no way it would bug me.

Your son was being a smartass. He's learning the lesson that if you're going to BE a smartass, someone might call you a smartass. He might be learning that people don't always appreciate smartassedness. So, either watch your smartassing or "forget them if they can't take a joke."

Best of luck.

eta: For 15 years old, that was kind of funny. Detention-bait for sure, but funny.

 

[phamton]

This happened to me but I was the teacher. I had spent my planning period that day in a parent conference. The mother of one of my 3rd grade students laughingly referred several times to her son as a "smartass" during the parent conference.

Well an hour later, it was time for dismissal in my class and I was reminding my students of their homework assignments. The class was a little talkative and rowdy at the end of the day. I said "Is anyone listening to me?" And a little girl in my class answered "No" and giggled. Then I heard myself say, "Don't be a smartass." I couldn't believe I said that and immediately clamped my hand over my mouth. I saw the shocked and hurt look on the girl's face and I began to apologize and then I broke into tears. I called the guidance counselor down to my room as I was so distraught. She took over dismissing my class and I went and talked to the principal to let her know what I had done. The principal said it was an accident and not let it get me down but I insisted on calling the girl's mom and apologized. Her mother was very understanding and nothing ever came of my slip of the tongue.

What's strange about the whole incident is that "smartass" is not even a word I ever use. It was so shocking to me that I even said it. My principal said some day I'd look back on all of this and laugh about my blunder but I still feel terrible about it even 7 years later. My husband taught high school and he thought it was no big deal but, to me, it was a very big deal. Luckily for me, the little girl accepted my apology and realized that I truly didn't mean to say it.

 

[HugsForEeyore]

I must be old or just too stoic or something! When I read the OP's post, I thought - what's the big deal about the word smartass? The word didn't even strike me as something bad or forbidden. Of course it's not nice, but I wouldn't think it was something to ever worry about.

Hmmmm - if this happened to me as a kid, I could see it like this: first my parents would have yelled at me for making the teacher say "smartass", and then would warn me to behave better and show more respect to the teacher. The end. That would be the end of the whole incident. And the thought of ME going to the prinicipal to complain? Forget about it!! My parents would have been mortified and embarrassed beyond belief if I tried that.

Of course, I was a kid in the 80's, so I guess things are really different now!

 

[LisaMommy]

I was called a smartass often as a child. I deserved it too. I don't think the teachers thought twice before saying it, maybe that's what his teacher did? I call my kids smartasses too (they take after me ), so maybe the teacher didn't think this word would offend your son? I know I wouldn't.

 

[Tiggernut_jadie]

He was being a smartass and got called one...tough luck kid maybe you'll keep your trap shut next time and stop showing off for your mates!

 

[aprilgail2]

I think I'd be more upset with my son for making a rude comment like that...

I agree- he would be the one in trouble, I would have no problem with the teacher!

He was being a smartass and got called one...tough luck kid maybe you'll keep your trap shut next time and stop showing off for your mates!

- he tried to show up the teacher and then gets upset when she gives it back to him and hurts his precious little feelings- oh please... ...

I must be old or just too stoic or something! When I read the OP's post, I thought - what's the big deal about the word smartass? The word didn't even strike me as something bad or forbidden. Of course it's not nice, but I wouldn't think it was something to ever worry about.

Hmmmm - if this happened to me as a kid, I could see it like this: first my parents would have yelled at me for making the teacher say "smartass", and then would warn me to behave better and show more respect to the teacher. The end. That would be the end of the whole incident. And the thought of ME going to the prinicipal to complain? Forget about it!! My parents would have been mortified and embarrassed beyond belief if I tried that.

Of course, I was a kid in the 80's, so I guess things are really different now!

I agree- I don't have any issues with the word smartass- its not even filtered out here on the dis and they filter everything LOL. If I was the OP I would have more issues with the son than the teacher and give me a break, going to the principal?? Perhaps the teacher should have sent HIM to the principal for disrupting her class and being a smartass.

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

Maybe it's my Catholic school upbringing, but I don't think it's okay for a teacher to EVER call a kid a smartass, no matter what the situation. I would be one unhappy mama! There are better ways the teacher could have handled the situation.

Having had 12 years of Catholic school, I would have much rather been called a smartass than to have some of the other things done to me by the nuns. I once got socked in the eye for crossing my letter T too long. I could go on and on but you get my drift.

To the OP, I wouldn't minimize your sons feelings, but I would let him work it out.

 

[JonS99]

For those of you that wants the parent to talk to the teacher because the kids feelings were hurt, would you also want the teacher to call you whenever your kids hurts their feelings? My guess is the kid does NOT want the parent to talk to the teacher, wouldn't be suprised if other things the student has done are brought up.

 

[Todd&Copper]

I must be old or just too stoic or something! When I read the OP's post, I thought - what's the big deal about the word smartass? The word didn't even strike me as something bad or forbidden. Of course it's not nice, but I wouldn't think it was something to ever worry about.

Hmmmm - if this happened to me as a kid, I could see it like this: first my parents would have yelled at me for making the teacher say "smartass", and then would warn me to behave better and show more respect to the teacher. The end. That would be the end of the whole incident. And the thought of ME going to the prinicipal to complain? Forget about it!! My parents would have been mortified and embarrassed beyond belief if I tried that.

Of course, I was a kid in the 80's, so I guess things are really different now!

I was a teen in the late 1980s, and if I had gotten myself in your son's situation, my parents would have asked me why I was sassing the teacher back rather than validate my feeling of being hurt.

Thinking of it from the teacher's perspective, the kid was being disrespectful (whether or not he thought it was "cute" or "sassy").

I'd tell my son to drop it and when the teacher wants the class to shut up, he should just simmer down rather than audition for class clown.

 

[crz4mm2]

I guess if it were my kid I would have told him that had he not been goofing off the comment wouldn't have been made. No, it probably isn't the most appropriate comment but teachers are human as well. I would have been more upset that my son was disrespectful to the teacher then the comment from the teacher.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Ah...

I would tell my kid that his action was a smartass thing to do.....duh.

Then I would explain social settings and cues. At 15 he really should already know this. Come on.

 

[Charade]

I don't think the OP's son was rude at all. The teacher is the one who needs to be disciplined, not the son. No adult should call a child that no matter what the situation, I think- that's swearing.

I disagree. It sounds like the class was a little out of control and the teacher was trying to bring back order. That wasn't the time for a little levity.

 

[BoyLovesBuzz]

Well, being the co-founder and chapter president of the local Smartass club, I know where he is coming from. More than once I have been smacked down, when I have broken off a real stinker. Yes, your feelings do get hurt, because you are trying to funny, and regardless of how “equal” the rebuke, we always feel like it’s coming from meaner place than our original attempt. I’m currently working on a retaliation endurance seminar titled “Yeah, I deserved that”, to help out newbies to the craft. It’s a follow-up to last years keynote “ ‘I know you are but what am I’ and other pitfalls to heckle a heckler”

Over time, he will learn to channel those hurt feelings into motivation to improve timing, inflection and tone, and soon he will be sassing with the best of us.


In all seriousness, I hope you ignore the fringe element that says, “discipline the teacher” as well as the ones that ridicule your son for having hurt feelings. Thats not helpful. I think your leaning towards the middle of the road of letting your son deal with this, which is the right track in my opinion.

Good luck.

 

[Keli]

I wouldn't like a teacher using that kind of language with my child in a classroom. That would aggravate me but not enough to cause me to say or do anything. I would just point out to my son that she was wrong to use that language in any situation when dealing with students.

But your son was in the wrong here also. If all he received as punishment was a comment back then I think he should let sleeping dogs lie. He should have received a punishment of some sort from the teacher instead of a smart comment.

Did you point out to your son how hypocritical he is being? It's ok for him to be rude to the teacher in front of everyone but it's not ok when she dishes the same thing back to him?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

BoyLovesBuzz that was priceless... I would certainly use your explanation hands down.

 

[Jennasis]

His feelings were hurt?? REALLY?? At 15? Well, he brought it on himself, it was deserved, and dang it, he needs to start thickening his skin. Presumably in a mere 3 years he may be on his way to college, and no professor gives a hoot about hurting their student's feelings, in fact, many are quite proud of that ability. Tell him to suck it up and quit being a smartass.