How bad do you think this is?

[Cee]

My son is a substitute teacher and on one particularly frustrating day he said to
the class, "You know, it would just be nice if you gave a damn." The next day, when the regular teacher was back and asked the class how everything went the day before they replied, "HE CUSSED US OUT." I guess the teacher mentioned it to the principal and the next time he was there was told, "*sigh*,
just don't go there."

 

[powellrj]

My middle DS is king of the SA club. He also got "smacked down" by a teacher yesterday and it stung. While his smack down was a little different, it was still deserved. I told him not to dish it out if he can't take it.

 

[claudia]

Yesterday my son (15) came home from school and told me his teacher called him a smartass. I told him he probably deserved it and asked him what he did. He said the class was being really noisy and the teacher said, "Hello!" really loud and Will (my son) looked at her and waved and said "Hi." I really didn't think much of it. Later, though, he told me it really hurt his feelings because when she said it, she looked at him with a really disgusted look on her face and he feels like she doesn't like him at all.

I told him if it was really bothering him, he should talk to her and tell her that it hurt his feelings. He said he wants to tell the principal. I guess it's up to him, but I told him I didn't think he should, that he should give her another chance, she was probably having a bad day and he was being a smart aleck.

What do you think? Would it bother you?

IMHO, the disgusted look was probably due to the class being unruly and because he responded the way he did he took the brunt of "the look". The teacher dislikes his response, not him (unless there is a history of him feeling that way). His "joke" fell flat and he didn't get the response he had hoped for....maybe his pride was more injured than his feelings. I'm sure he'll be able to resolve this....a little time passes and things become more clear.
If it were my son I would tell him that I thought he was being a smartass and he got called on it.....

 

[Kim&Chris]

I guess if it were my kid I would have told him that had he not been goofing off the comment wouldn't have been made. No, it probably isn't the most appropriate comment but teachers are human as well. I would have been more upset that my son was disrespectful to the teacher then the comment from the teacher.

I totally agree. OP, maybe you should just chalk it up to your son learning a lesson about respect. Did the teacher hurt his feelings, or is it just that she may have embarrassed him in front of his classmates when he was trying to be funny? Either way, I'd let it go.

 

[cabanafrau]

Truthfully, in your shoes I'd be glad it happened if "his feelings are hurt" by something like this at 15. I hope you won't read that from a harsh or sarcastic perspective, because that's not my intent. My point is, at 15 the real world is bearing down on them very quickly. He likely learned something from the experience if he didn't enjoy the response he got, truth be told, he wasn't harmed or anything close to humiliated. It's likely he got a lot out of that day's class, in fact something that may well stick with him for a very long time.

If my about to be 15 year old had the same feelings, I'd honestly be glad reality gave her a little love tap.

 

[Camicar]

I think the teacher is an unprofessional hypocrite. She doesn't like the class being unruly and a student's comment, so her response is to use profanity?

If she'd had the class under control, the situation wouldn't have happened to begin with. And if she has to swear at an individual student to get her point across, she shouldn't be a teacher. At the very least, teachers should have sufficient vocabulary to be able to find a non-profane word to communicate with a student. I'd think a teacher unable to do so was unprofessional and trashy.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

His feelings were hurt?? REALLY?? At 15? Well, he brought it on himself, it was deserved, and dang it, he needs to start thickening his skin. Presumably in a mere 3 years he may be on his way to college, and no professor gives a hoot about hurting their student's feelings, in fact, many are quite proud of that ability. Tell him to suck it up and quit being a smartass.

Maybe harsh, but I totally agree. Thats the problem nowadays everyone is so worried about their poor little babies feelings. How about if he wasn't disrespectful in the first place the incident would have never happened.

Instead of thinking of talking to my sons teacher , I'd be telling him to apologize for being disrespectful.

 

[mjkacmom]

I think the teacher is an unprofessional hypocrite. She doesn't like the class being unruly and a student's comment, so her response is to use profanity?

If she'd had the class under control, the situation wouldn't have happened to begin with. And if she has to swear at an individual student to get her point across, she shouldn't be a teacher. At the very least, teachers should have sufficient vocabulary to be able to find a non-profane word to communicate with a student. I'd think a teacher unable to do so was unprofessional and trashy.

I don't think smartass is profanity. If the teacher called him an ***hole, for example, that is profanity.

 

[Todd&Copper]

Yeah, calling smartass profanity kind of cracks me up. Do you watch prime-time TV at all?

 

[ZephyrHawk]

If it were my kid I'd do like the OP and say he deserved it. I'd have no problem calling my own kid a smartass if he's being one, and I don't consider that to be a profanity. I wouldn't have a problem with the person I'm entrusting to teach him how to be a relevant member of society while I'm absent doing the same.

If it hurt his feelings I'd just say, "And how does your teacher feel when you act in a disrespectful manner towards her? Oh that's right, it hurts her feelings. Grow a little skin."

As for going to the principal, I really don't think that's a good idea...for anyone. Personally, I would have told him, "Okay, that's your decision. And it's her decision to tell on you to the principal the next time you're being a smartass in class."

 

[RadioNate]

You BE a smartass, you get CALLED a smartass. The kid is 15, not 5... seriously.

I can't believe some of these responses.

I certainly wouldn't go to the principal or even the teacher. If the kid wants to say something to the teacher, I wouldn't stop him but I think it needs to come with an apology from him too.

So in response to the OP's title question. I don't think it is bad at all. In fact, I'd be happy my DS was being 'called out' on his behavior. His ego is hurt, not his feelings. He was trying to be cool and got put in his place by the teacher. Boo hoo.

Don't dish it out if you can't take it.

And people wonder why kids these days are such spoiled, entitled brats. You can't say anything to them with out hurting their little feeling and getting mommy all worked up. (not the OP btw, I don't think she thinks this is a big of a deal and is handling it in a normal rational way)

 

[Stitchfans]

Personally I would let it go. I think a classroom full of teenagers should be able to handle hearing the word "smartass".
Was she wrong to say it.....perhaps, but it's not something I would get upset over.

I agree. Didn't read on from here.

 

[wilderness01]

I must be old or just too stoic or something! When I read the OP's post, I thought - what's the big deal about the word smartass? The word didn't even strike me as something bad or forbidden. Of course it's not nice, but I wouldn't think it was something to ever worry about.

Hmmmm - if this happened to me as a kid, I could see it like this: first my parents would have yelled at me for making the teacher say "smartass", and then would warn me to behave better and show more respect to the teacher. The end. That would be the end of the whole incident. And the thought of ME going to the prinicipal to complain? Forget about it!! My parents would have been mortified and embarrassed beyond belief if I tried that.

Of course, I was a kid in the 80's, so I guess things are really different now!

Great post and I completely agree.

 

[puzzifootin]

I'd be telling my kid the same thing, stop being a wise ***...hey, if she had said "*******" I would be a little ticked...but "smartass"..well, if you're being one be ready to be called on it. He'll get over it. I think you are handling it fine .

 

[islangrl]

Personally I would let it go. I think a classroom full of teenagers should be able to handle hearing the word "smartass".
Was she wrong to say it.....perhaps, but it's not something I would get upset over.

I must be old or just too stoic or something! When I read the OP's post, I thought - what's the big deal about the word smartass? The word didn't even strike me as something bad or forbidden. Of course it's not nice, but I wouldn't think it was something to ever worry about.

Hmmmm - if this happened to me as a kid, I could see it like this: first my parents would have yelled at me for making the teacher say "smartass", and then would warn me to behave better and show more respect to the teacher. The end. That would be the end of the whole incident. And the thought of ME going to the prinicipal to complain? Forget about it!! My parents would have been mortified and embarrassed beyond belief if I tried that.

Of course, I was a kid in the 80's, so I guess things are really different now!

I don't think smartass is profanity. If the teacher called him an ***hole, for example, that is profanity.

I agree with all of these quotes. Definitely not an issue worth going to the principal for. Teenagers hear and use worse language on a daily basis.

 

[okeydokey]

I think you need to let it go. Your kid was acting like a smartass and got called on it.

 

[disney junky]

Let it go. Dealing with people of all ages and all types is part of life. Your kids was being a kid. The teacher was being a frustrated adult dealing with kids. Hurt feelings are part of life.

 

[declansdad]

Nothing needs to be done by you in this situation. If your son is truly troubled he should be the one to speak with the teacher.

This is a very minor manner on both parts and does not need to be blown out of proportion.

 

[Planogirl]

If this had happened to me when I was 15, my father would have told me that if I didn't act like a smartass then I wouldn't be called one. And that would have been the end of it.

 

[declansdad]

I think the teacher is an unprofessional hypocrite. She doesn't like the class being unruly and a student's comment, so her response is to use profanity?

If she'd had the class under control, the situation wouldn't have happened to begin with. And if she has to swear at an individual student to get her point across, she shouldn't be a teacher. At the very least, teachers should have sufficient vocabulary to be able to find a non-profane word to communicate with a student. I'd think a teacher unable to do so was unprofessional and trashy.

Your not in the class so you have no idea what was going on so please don't be calling the teacher a hypocrite.

Also, smartass is far from profane.