Honestly, I don't know what to call this chapter. It will center on the KTTK tour though, of which we were expressly forbidden to speaketh muchly about.
I have a better title now that I think about it, especially since a long awaited movie has just opened this weekend.
"INDIANA DIANA and the KEYS to the KINGDOM OF THE CRIPPLED NUMB-SKULLS!
Well, maybe not a better title.
But first;
Something I forgot to mention while we were meandering around World Showcase before we ate dinosaurs.
We had pulled into France area, they have a great smoking area there right above the International Gateway waterway, relaxing, pretty, very nice.
They are also fanatics there when it comes to power it seems.
I have been yelled at once before for getting a little too far away from the DSA, and this day would be no different.
We each had a smoke, then Diane went to find a bathroom, so I lit another. How come it seems like I always get in trouble when she steps away?
As I'm standing next to the garbage can/ashtray, a worker comes up, to empty all the butts out of it and change the garbage bag. So here I am, standing exactly where I am supposed to be standing, just gazing down into the water.
Then the worker coughed.
It was one of those, little fake, " I have to stand next to a disgusting smoker" coughs. THENNN,,,, Like a big dummy, I thought I would give the Cost Member a break, and I moved away from him.
Yes, if you've looked at the prices of the souveneirs in France, they aren't cast members but "cost members". There wasn't anyone else in the area, just me and Napolean, so I moved down about 20 feet to give him back his fresh air. The next thing I had known, he had finished, then flagged down another worker, and with reinforcements, approached me . Next thing I know I'm getting yelled at once again for smoking outside of a smoking area!
Amazingly, I really didn't have much to say, I was too dumbstruck by it all, the only thought that kept going through my head was " yep, no good deed goies unpunished!"
Once they're mission was accomplished, they walked away slapping each other on the back, I honestly thought they were going to high five their bravado!
As they were still walking away, I kind of snapped out of it a bit, and yelled after them;
"Yes! Another amazing French victory!"
"Right up there with Bastille Day, I should say."
"OR THE TIME JACQUES COUSTEAU UNTANGLED THE ANCHOR LINE!"
yeah, I never had much luck with the French at Disneyworld.
And now, a word from our sponsor:
This is my little guy, Jackson, gotta sneak in a picture of him sooner or later, can't wait to turn him into a Disney commando.
And his favorite movie?
Finding Nebo, of course, that sucker plays constantly when he is over for the day.
Onward.
After the Rose and Cretaceous and Illuminations, we DIDN"T take a leisurely stroll out the Gateway to the Boardwalk for our car, but did the Tasmanian Devil rush to the front of the park for our bus. Still made good time, and even though the bus was crowded, I didn't have to threaten anybody with my "Chili-cheese dog" line to get some breathing room.
On the bus we talked a bit, mostly about dinner, and THAT"S when I found out from my beloved Smidgy that Colleen had warned me about ordering the dinosaur.
"You mean you heard her say it too? And didn't warn me?"
"Thought you heard her, sorry."
Ok, fine, now I have two people to get even with. Sorry, whispered warnings don't count. At least Adrian YELLED, just about, when he saw one go by, but ny then it was too late.
Adrian, the people have voted, and you ,,,,,,
are,,,,,,,,,,,,,
safe!
Friday, December 14, Keys to the Kingdom
The morning dawned in terrific slpendor, we had to get up early, and I watched the haze burn off the river.
Colleen did make good on the drink she promised Smidgy, originally we had nine o'clock keys ressies, but she didn't know that there were multiple trips in the morning, and booked an 8:30 trip for her and Adrian. Then Collleen found out that we would be on separate tours, and tried to change it but the nine o'clock was filled up.
However,,,,, they still had openings on the earlier one,,,,, and ,,,,, if we would switch,,,,,,
I remember her post when she found out we had different tours,,,,,,something like:
"WAAAAA, I wanna see Nebo make a fool of himself, WAAAA!"
But Diane really wanted the nine oclock one, so the negotiating began.
"She who must not be disturbed" got a free drink out of Colleen at dinner, for getting up early.
Never negotiate with terrorists!
Notice there wasn't any mention of a free drink for Ol' Nebo whom also had to get up earlier? Guess I need a new agent.
After saying our name at the turnstyle, they looked us up on a chart and once again I felt like Steve Martin in the Jerk when he sees his name in the phone book. Signed into Guess Relations, (they looked the same so I guessed cousins), we got our name tags and our electronic Mickey headsets, and still had 15 minutes to kill. Spent that in the smoking area in the corner, and kept an eye out for Benedictwannabe and Adrian, but never saw them come up.
I was surprised how many folks were just wandering around back there before the park even opens. At the deadline, we walked back up as the group was forming and and Colleen and Aidz showed up like magic, I think they came out of the stable. I'll be darned if I can remember the name of our pretty young tour guide, but she gave us our headset instructions, she has a microphone, so don't worry about hearing her, but mostly said that "What happens on the tour, stays on the tour", in other words, don't give too much away to your friends.
Or on the Disboards.
heh
Diane was talking to one woman, and dragged her over to me. Turned out she had been reading right along on the trip reports here, but never posted.
After meeting me, she couldn't stay far enough away from me for the rest of the tour!
Not kidding, never talked to her again!
I think it was something Diane had said, heh
Allright, here is the good news. I'm not going to ruin the tour for you by telling you too much.
I'm not going to tell you too much about anything for that matter. Frankly, I was dissappointed, and I think Diane was too.
The first thing our guide did was have us all pick our favorite Disney characters to be for the day. Bet you can't guess who my favorite Disney character is?
You'd be wrong!
I chose Rafiki. Maybe that's why people moved away from me, when I started swinging the headphones around like nun-chucks.
Considering the actual tour itself, what I was afraid of happening, did happen, at least my fears weren't for naught. My back needs a constant mix, stand, walk, sit, repeat, especially this late in a trip, it is really shot by now.
But we had a great deal of standing around to do, and no, never by a smoking section. If I keep moving, I'm not too bad, it's the just standing part that kills me, so everytime she had us form these circles around her, I would just kind of slowly walk in a circle around the circle, kind of like the last kid out in a game of musical chairs.
It was while making my "rounds" over at the end of main street during one of the lectures that an evil "revenge' thought came to me. I remember Jaime talking about it on her report, and even getting into trouble because of it.
The guide has the microphone that you hear in your ears, and only her.
hmmm
and we all have name tags on us, so you can see in a heartbeat, who's who.
hmmm
But if someone were to get TOO close to the guide, and then spoke to someone else, THEY would also get broadcast through all the headsets.
UH OH! That's a hmmm I should have probably NOT thought of!
And there is Diane, standing almost right next to our guide! No, I don't need her to say anything, she's a target too now, but it gives me a reason to say something to her. That would then be picked up by the microphone.
Hmmm, what to say?
No, I don't want to be too mean, just a little embarrassment, you know? So what I decided to say in a low voice to Diane, but loud enough for the mike to pick up for all of us, was;
"No DIANE! I didn't notice that COLLEEN had a huge chunk of lettuce in her TEETH, probably still from dinner LAST NIGHT! But if YOU want to embarrass her and tell her, I'd make sure to do it PRIVATE!"
Yep, that's what I was going to say. Then that little demon and little angel started fighting it out, up in my brain, can you picture the little cartoon balloon with them in it over my head?
By the time I was done, if anybody looked like an idiot, it was me.
I had just opened my mouth, even gotten a little break from the talkative guide, but they were still fighting it out up there. I got as far as, "No Diane", when evidently, the little angel won the battle.
Yes, the microphone was picking me up, found that out in just the first words, but now I not only had to switch total words and sentences, but thoughts too for that matter. Something was gonna come out of my mouth, I just have no idea what it is.
Now, I am not much of a swearer. (You just be quiet please honey), about the only time I swear is when I am really, really angry.
However, when my brain and mouth get flustered simultaneously like they are now, sometimes bad things end up slipping out.
And this was almost the worst!
I turned that canoe around in mid-stream, but my mind was trying to prevent a capsize. What started out as "No DIANE,",,,,, turned into the first thing that was also on my mind, ",,,,, My back is stinkin killing me."
That might have been ok, if "stinkin" had been in my brain all along.
But it wasn't.
Nothing was.
My mouth was just about ready to use that "other" word, that needs no introductions, thank you very much!
I caught myself at the very last second, and I mean VERY last, and what came out was a ridiculous "No DIANE, my back is stucking killing me!"
Not only didn't it make any sense, it was just stupid, out of place, and now of course every one is looking to see who 'Diane" is, then they can trace down the moron who said it.
In two minutes I was hiding behind Abe Lincoln in the "Hall of Precedence".
To this day, Colleen or Smidgy never knew what my evil intentions were going to be that day, and I have a feeling that this would have been a "precedence" set that would dearly cost me.
Although I think Adrian might have gotten a kick out of it.
Briefly.
During the tour, we got to ride POC, and Haunted Mansion, lunch was included in Colombia Harbour House, and that was the only time I had to run away to a smoking area. We also went backstage by Splash and saw where they kept all the floats for the StressfulMagic Parade, and while we were there, a worker was replacing some of the lights.
I had to ask him.
"So tell me, when one goes out do they all go out?" His answer wasn't clear. "I don't know, I just replace them all at once anyway." Yeah, makes sense. Then we walked up to the Crystal Palace, went behind that into an employee parking area and finally went down into the Utilidoors.
It's kind of funny, after all these years of hearing about them, the image you end up with in your mind.
Well, at least my mind.
They looked something like Mammoth Cave, carved out of rock with torches hung along the walls every fifty feet. Instead if was like being in an industrialized YMCA basement, with fork trucks and baggage carriers whizzing past every few minutes. Again, it was a let down to me.
I remember standing next to Colleen, and saying that this is our own fault, most people are just getting a font of knowledge on the whole trip, but with us being fanatical DIssers as it is, there wasn't really all that much new stuff to learn. As it was, I might have ticked off our tour guide once when I corrected her on how big Disneyworld actually is. She told us all that it's 43 square miles.
Being the know it all that I am, I pointed out that Disney sold off Celebration, so now the land mass is only 37 square miles. I got the, "Yes, that's right, thank you very much."
In summary, the Utilidoors was the last part of the tour, and frankly, I was glad it was over, at least now we can "knock that off of our list." Colleen, I'm sure I'm missing some stuff maybe worth mentioning, feel free to chime in on forgotten stuff any time.
Good thing she didn't know what I was planning, or she'd never help out again.
It was one oclock when it was over, we said our goodbye's to Collie and Aidz, and headed back for a swim. Neither one of us wanted to spend the whole day there, but we do want to come back for one more viewing of Wishes, and again, the have the Christmas party again tonight, starting at seven, with Wishes for the great unwashed at six, so not much time at the resort before we return.
Speaking of time,,,,,,,,goodnight all of you that may still be speaking to me, have a safe holiday weekend.
. 4 trips in one year!! and HE expects me to remember all this little stuff.!
nah, I don't think we drove over to mgm, it was the bus.. no, wait , it was the segways, no, it was Mrs. white with the candlestick!
There's another one I'll never get outta my head. LaLa calls it the Rose & Crud. I like that one too.
