Homeschool Chat

[Ashley Kees]

OK...here's my situation. DS is 10. We have him in a private school (he's been there since age 3) and we're staring middle school in the face.

His school is unique as they do a lot of outward bound curriculum and that's starting to become a HUGE problem for us as DS's asthma has gotten substantially worse over the past 2 years. I can't see breaking his spirit and forcing him to sit in a public school classroom for the next 3 years with 1 field trip (maybe) per year when he's used to a experiential form of education (with field trips at a whim!). At the same time...because of his asthma, I'm scared to death to have him gone camping and backpacking for a week or two at a stretch roughing it with no electricity and being several hours away from home and medical help! I've looked at other private schools in the area and I just don't like them....reputation for most of them is either a) kids in school all day and then 4+ hours of homework per night OR b) extraordinarily snobby with tuition at $22,000+ per year !

I had a long conversation with a friend of mine who homeschools her 2 kids WHILE she works full time (her parents are VERY supportive and help her during the days) and she assures me that I can do it too. Quitting my job is NOT an option...where I work, my DS will have free college tuition or 1/2 of my University's tuition to use at ANY other accredited institution in the world! Yeah...no quitting there!

DS has always been a self-directed learner. Socially, he's very much an extrovert and we've addressed to his satisfaction how we will keep him in touch with his friends and help him expand his social circle through enrichment activities (art, drama, foreign language, PE, etc.).

Hubby is very supportive and so are grandparents. So, what are my worries...well (and please forgive me for saying this...I mean no harm or insult to anyone and I apologize for the judgementalism) I always thought that homeschooled kids were from "Christian Fundamentalist" homes and that's just not us! I honestly don't want a Christian focused curriculum and was wondering if anyone had any suggestions for me. Also, I'm worried about transition to high school. Have any of you ever faced the "judgement" of teachers/administrators when your child transitions to high school? How were you able to substantiate that your child was achieving grade level expectations?

Sorry, I never thought I would lean toward this and am surprising myself for even considering it. But the options seem so limitless that I'm kicking myself for judging others who have/are homeschooling and for never having a more open mind.

Hmmm...and I thought I was progressive. Ah well....as you can see this is very much a new process for me and I'd sincerely appreciate hearing why others have selected this option, how your children have benefitted and how they have also maybe "lost" somethings in the eyes of others.

I appreciate your patience and again (kicking self here) apologize for my previous attitude. Let's just say that this mom has A LOT to learn!

K

Hi Tink. First off, this... because you sound STRESSED OUT!! Take a deep breath.

I can help some. Let me tell you my story...
When DD5 was born, we started looking at private schools for her. We grew up in this town ourselves, and went through the public school system, no way are we sending our kids there. Private schools tended to be A) too expensive, B) too snobby, C) too religious, or D) all of the above. We decided by her first birthday that we would homeschool. She is Kindergarten aged now, her sister is 4 and her brother is 1. The two girls are homeschooled, and we LOVE it! I understand our situations are different, you are facing pulling DS out of school and a change of lifestyle for him as well as you, my babies know no different. But what I can help with is secular homeschool materials.

We are pretty religious, but we make it a point to only use secular educational materials. Why? That's what we learned with, and that's what we are comfortable using. You MUST be comfortable with the curriculum you use, period. Get online and find homeschool coalitions in your area, and find out when they do their curriculum fairs, then make sure you go. Out here, every publisher of homeschool materials within a 500 mile radius shows up, it's insane. Luckily, if you are looking for secualr materials, it cuts the search down A LOT! Take a peek at them, get a feel for them.

I don't know where you live, but here in Texas, we are VERY homeschool friendly. So much so that Texas Tech University and University of Texas have online K-12 available if you so choose. You can do the whole thing from home, online, on your own time (more or less) and everything is graded and the curriculum set by a licensed Texas teacher. At Tech it's called the Texas Tech U Independent School District, and at graduation they even recieve an official TTUISD high school diploma. I don't use them, BUT, I went on their website and took a look at the book requirements for the grades and classes I was interested in, and used that as a jumping off point. Because it is essentially a public school, they are only allowed to use secular materials.

Mardel is a Christian bookstore, but if there is one in your area, they carry some secular curriculums, like Saxon Math (which is the math curriculum used by TTUISD). They also have an excellent selection of school things like math manipulatives, science equipment (microscopes, slides, etc.) and anything else you find in a regular classroom. They also are online at www.Mardel.com (no, I don't work there, just like them a lot).

Type in "secular homeschool" on Yahoo groups and see if you can find one n your area, and start asking questions. They are great support if you need it.

Finally, ask your son what he feels about it. Let him guide you, he'll be the best judge (at his age) of what curriculums will help him learn.

If you get lip from someone about how homeschooling is bad (and you will, trust me) refer them to this...
http://www.nhen.org/dads/default.asp?id=383
and then hop on here and vent. We have all been through it.

As far as transitioning back into High School, it is possible to homeschool through high school, almost every college in America (including Ivy League) accepts homeschoolers, some even seek them out now. If you want to send him back, he may have to take a placement test, but homeschooled kids are SMART so that shouldn't be a problem. Keep excellent records of what he does, curriculum and activity-wise and you may not even need a placement test.

Good luck!

 

[Pixie Dust for Me!]

Thanks a million and yes, I am a bit stressed out! I never thought I'd be in this position but it just seems so logical I wonder why I never considered it before! (Yes, I feel like I just had a classic "V8" moment!)

I appreciate the referrals to curriculum. So far the resources I've found in St. Louis are focused on a Christian education and that's just not for us. As an example, I found a PE program, run by a mom with a Master's in PE and I thought...how awesome! Then I read through the "focus of the class" and just about lost it when I read how they say a prayer before class and at the end of class and that "developing your body is honoring Christ." I'm sure that the approach works for some...but it's just NOT us! (Again, I mean no offense to anyone. I understand that some people are deeply religious and I respect that.)

DH and I are very confident that DS will transition back to a high school. We both want him to have that high school experience (and the experience of dealing with a wide cross section of people) BEFORE he goes to college and has to deal with it (relatively) independent of us.

If anyone knows of any "secular" groups in the St. Louis area, I'd appreciate hearing about them.

My deepest thanks,

K

 

[Mermaid02]

Hi Everyone! I posted before and we are still in Public School- but 6th grade isn't going very well. The Guidance counselor told me Friday that it "isn't working- even when he's here I don't think he's getting anything out of it." I think he's right. With his anxiety, my son is only in "survival mode" as the school psychologist put it.

He said we might have to do 3 hours of school and 2 hours at home tutoring. I'd really just rather do it all myself.

 

[Ashley Kees]

Thanks a million and yes, I am a bit stressed out! I never thought I'd be in this position but it just seems so logical I wonder why I never considered it before! (Yes, I feel like I just had a classic "V8" moment!)

I appreciate the referrals to curriculum. So far the resources I've found in St. Louis are focused on a Christian education and that's just not for us. As an example, I found a PE program, run by a mom with a Master's in PE and I thought...how awesome! Then I read through the "focus of the class" and just about lost it when I read how they say a prayer before class and at the end of class and that "developing your body is honoring Christ." I'm sure that the approach works for some...but it's just NOT us! (Again, I mean no offense to anyone. I understand that some people are deeply religious and I respect that.)

DH and I are very confident that DS will transition back to a high school. We both want him to have that high school experience (and the experience of dealing with a wide cross section of people) BEFORE he goes to college and has to deal with it (relatively) independent of us.

If anyone knows of any "secular" groups in the St. Louis area, I'd appreciate hearing about them.

My deepest thanks,

K

Looks like Missouri is pretty homeschool friendly, too. I searched for literally 2 minutes, and here's what I found for ya:

Homeschool Resources for Missouri:
http://www.thehomeschoolmom.com/states/missouri.php
and
http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/regional/Missouri.htm

All-inclusive St. Louis support group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HomeSchoolFamiliesofstlouis/

St. Louis Secular Homeschool support group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/STLhomeschool/

Non-online groups:

• St. Louis Secular Homeschoolers Co-Op, not religiously or politically affiliated, offers support, field trips, idea exchange and classes. Contact: Dannielle, dannielle@stlsecularhomeschool.org, 314-298-3778.

• HomeSchool Families of Greater St. Louis offers monthly meetings and field trips; bimonthly playgroup. Contacts: Denise, KAurora0614@aol.com.


• Families for Home Education (FHE) claims to be the lobbying group for all home educators in the state of Missouri. Not affiliated with any religious, political organization or special interest group, FHE works to win support for home education among the general public as well as lawmakers and public officials. Focused on monitoring state legislative activity through their registered lobbyist, FHE also provides legally accurate information to anyone interested in home education. Website: www.fhe-mo.org

This is a listing of secular homeschool curriculums available that was posted to one of my locals groups. Take a look (It's in the first few posts, scroll down a bit.):
http://www.dfwareamoms.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1299100

This is only a little bit of what I saw. Good luck!

 

[Ashley Kees]

Hi Everyone! I posted before and we are still in Public School- but 6th grade isn't going very well. The Guidance counselor told me Friday that it "isn't working- even when he's here I don't think he's getting anything out of it." I think he's right. With his anxiety, my son is only in "survival mode" as the school psychologist put it.

He said we might have to do 3 hours of school and 2 hours at home tutoring. I'd really just rather do it all myself.

Sorry to hear your baby is having a hard time. I speak with so many parents just in my neighborhood who say after the amount of homework their kids have to do, they might as well be homeschooling. You know what's best for your son. If it's anxiety attacks, he probably would do better in a more comforting learning environment, and Mom is pretty comfy! I wish you luck, and if you need any help, you know where to come.

 

[Pixie Dust for Me!]

Looks like Missouri is pretty homeschool friendly, too. I searched for literally 2 minutes, and here's what I found for ya:

Homeschool Resources for Missouri:
http://www.thehomeschoolmom.com/states/missouri.php
and
http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/regional/Missouri.htm

All-inclusive St. Louis support group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HomeSchoolFamiliesofstlouis/

St. Louis Secular Homeschool support group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/STLhomeschool/

Non-online groups:

• St. Louis Secular Homeschoolers Co-Op, not religiously or politically affiliated, offers support, field trips, idea exchange and classes. Contact: Dannielle, dannielle@stlsecularhomeschool.org, 314-298-3778.

• HomeSchool Families of Greater St. Louis offers monthly meetings and field trips; bimonthly playgroup. Contacts: Denise, KAurora0614@aol.com.


• Families for Home Education (FHE) claims to be the lobbying group for all home educators in the state of Missouri. Not affiliated with any religious, political organization or special interest group, FHE works to win support for home education among the general public as well as lawmakers and public officials. Focused on monitoring state legislative activity through their registered lobbyist, FHE also provides legally accurate information to anyone interested in home education. Website: www.fhe-mo.org

This is a listing of secular homeschool curriculums available that was posted to one of my locals groups. Take a look (It's in the first few posts, scroll down a bit.):
http://www.dfwareamoms.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1299100

This is only a little bit of what I saw. Good luck!

Wow, you know where to look. I go out and google and get overwhelmed! Thanks so incredibly much for the resources. People on the DIS are the BEST!!!!

 

[Mermaid02]

How hard is it to take your child out halfway through the year?? I'm thinking about giving it until Christmas and then if things are still this bad- making the change.

 

[Ellester]

How hard is it to take your child out halfway through the year?? I'm thinking about giving it until Christmas and then if things are still this bad- making the change.

I don't have personal experience, but I don't see how it matters overall. You will still have an adjustment period whether you pull your child midyear, midweek, or just wait until the summer. Your individual district will have it's own withdrawal rules, you'll just have to find out what they are.

I'm sorry your son is going through all that anxiety. From your posts, it sounds like he would be much better off at home.

 

[Ellester]

bumping...looking for ideas.

Welcome to the board! I also had many preconceptions about homeschoolers before we entered the fray. While there are many fundamentalist hs'ers, there are many, many, many others as well. Even many of the Christian curriculums can be modified to express your own beliefs. We are Catholic, but use Sonlight which is a evangelically based program. I just edit, drop and add as suits our needs.

I can't really answer the transitioning to high school question. My oldest 10 and we are planning on HS'ing the whole way unless something dramatically changes.

 

[Pixie Dust for Me!]

Thank you Ellester and others for the very warm welcome. Mermaid...My $.02 is this...take him out now or later...whatever works for you! If he's not having his needs met at school I think that waiting only harms him academically (and perhaps socially). The other poster was right....there will always be a transition, it's just a matter of when YOU want to make that transition.

K

 

[Disney Mommy 3]

How hard is it to take your child out halfway through the year?? I'm thinking about giving it until Christmas and then if things are still this bad- making the change.

It isn't hard to do at all!! I am not sure about your state's laws for what they need to unenroll him. Ours just needed a letter stating I was taking him out and I would be homeschooling him from such-&-such date onward.

If you are unsure where to start or whatever, pm me---I'ld be glad to help you!!!

 

[lori1043]

Wow, I have been here for a while and the thread these past few pages has been overwhelmingly sweet and outgoing and helpful. This is what brings us all together, regardless of belief system. You are teaching me something valuable. I do so love this board! Yay, Mickey!!! and Yay to homeschooling, which I hafta go do!!!!!

Lori

 

[Mermaid02]

I don't have personal experience, but I don't see how it matters overall. You will still have an adjustment period whether you pull your child midyear, midweek, or just wait until the summer. Your individual district will have it's own withdrawal rules, you'll just have to find out what they are.

I'm sorry your son is going through all that anxiety. From your posts, it sounds like he would be much better off at home.

Thank you Ellester and others for the very warm welcome. Mermaid...My $.02 is this...take him out now or later...whatever works for you! If he's not having his needs met at school I think that waiting only harms him academically (and perhaps socially). The other poster was right....there will always be a transition, it's just a matter of when YOU want to make that transition.

K

It isn't hard to do at all!! I am not sure about your state's laws for what they need to unenroll him. Ours just needed a letter stating I was taking him out and I would be homeschooling him from such-&-such date onward.

If you are unsure where to start or whatever, pm me---I'ld be glad to help you!!!

Okay- so this is the scoop. My son has a severe school anxiety (crying, panic attacks etc) and he also has adhd, pdd and a mood d/o. If I had ANY clue things were going to be this bad- I would NEVER have started working- but I did and now we are used to the income. I only work 20hours a week however, and $35 per week goes to before and after school care. I think we could swing it (by making some changes in our spending- nothing too drastic though) but my dh hasn't been so sure. I just need to prove to him that this is a doable thing.

 

[Disney Mommy 3]

Well, you can deduct the $35 from what you would need to have, and the extra little $$ that comes up at school. We all know that you are asked to donate something at some point, for plays, dinners, whatever.

And really--if he's having this hard of a time--you can't put a price on it. He would do better at home!!

 

[wvdislover]

I agree...if things are bad now, especially with his different issues, I would bet that it's not going to get better, only worse, as school gets harder academically, and all the "cliques" are formed. In terms of your job, if you need it, can you take your son with you, or do you have friends or family nearby who can watch him while you're working? There's no rule that says homeschooling has to be done between 8 and 4. Some families do their hs in the evenings or finish up on weekends. One of the best parts of homeschooling, especially with a child with extra or special needs, is the flexibility hs offers. Good luck!

 

[lori1043]

Okay- so this is the scoop. My son has a severe school anxiety (crying, panic attacks etc) and he also has adhd, pdd and a mood d/o. If I had ANY clue things were going to be this bad- I would NEVER have started working- but I did and now we are used to the income. I only work 20hours a week however, and $35 per week goes to before and after school care. I think we could swing it (by making some changes in our spending- nothing too drastic though) but my dh hasn't been so sure. I just need to prove to him that this is a doable thing.

I work an average of 6-7 days per month-most Fridays and some weekends.
Anyway, I feel that you can do it if you have someone to watch him on those times you are at work or are able to bring him along. I have a nurse friend who homeschools and has to work also and she feels that although she knows she can do a better job if she picked out curr. that required more of her time- her kids would benefit greatly, BUT since she cannot do that-Switched On Schoolhouse is better then putting them in the school system FOR HER. I think my feelings are getting to that point although I do so enjoy hands on activity with my kids. Not sure i will make that jump, but it is an option for those who have to work on top of homeschooling.
JMHO

Our ultimate goal is for me to quit, but I am not sure it will happen anytime soon, but I have hope!

Lori

 

[sha_lyn]

Great article
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/16/garden/16unschool.html?_r=2&ref=garden&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

 

[Disney Mommy 3]

Sha lyn- thanks for the article. I too, know lots of people that have said we are weird. But, these same people don't like spending more time with their kids than they have to. so, tit-for-tat. I don't harangue them for putting their kids in daycare, because they 'can't stand to be with their kids more than they HAVE to' I mean, this came out of their mouths!! So, why should we take insults from people like this? I loved the line--not just a stay-at-home- mom, but an out-in- the-world mom. Just because I am not getting a paycheck & the kids don't leave here on a bus, doesn't mean we are trapped in this house all day long. I think that's a BIG misconception on a lot of people's part. Don't you?

I feel for those mommies that have to work and want to be home with their children--I have friends that have to-single moms or the dad just can't get a good enough job to make ends meet.It makes me sooooo thankful that God has blessed Mike with a wonderful career and I can stay home and do what I was born to do!!!!

 

[Disney Mommy 3]

I work an average of 6-7 days per month-most Fridays and some weekends.
Anyway, I feel that you can do it if you have someone to watch him on those times you are at work or are able to bring him along. I have a nurse friend who homeschools and has to work also and she feels that although she knows she can do a better job if she picked out curr. that required more of her time- her kids would benefit greatly, BUT since she cannot do that-Switched On Schoolhouse is better then putting them in the school system FOR HER. I think my feelings are getting to that point although I do so enjoy hands on activity with my kids. Not sure i will make that jump, but it is an option for those who have to work on top of homeschooling.
JMHO

Our ultimate goal is for me to quit, but I am not sure it will happen anytime soon, but I have hope!

Lori

You are right Lori--you do it however you have too!!! No one says it has to be at 8 am!!! Just a nugget-for those who are leary of teaching math...once they hit 5th grade, invest in Teaching Textbooks. I can not say enough about it!!! I have a 7th grader in Pre-Algebra and a 4th grader in 5th grade math. It was a godsend!!!The older one took Saxon 8/7 last year--so he could have moved up--but I felt like he needed to spend time making sure he knew those math facts and really had a good base. I found TT and decided to let my younger son use it too.This year they had added 5 & 6th grade. They really like it!! I love doing hands on, with other subjects, but these are Harvard guys and I think they are doing a great job!!!! Hopefully next year they will add 3rd and 4th grade so more kids can enjoy it!!!

 

[baloo's girl]

I just wanted to add an update for us. I went ahead and pulled my dd out of school this past Friday. It was so simple. Even though I had a lot of anxiety about how the school would react, the experience was rather anticlimatic. A friend of mine said, they didn't care when your child was in class, what makes you think they'll care when she leaves? LOL She had a good point.

We are loving homeschooling so far. We've done several field trips, projects, and one on one time for some academics. Its been incredibly easy. We are going slow this week, for the transition.

For those considering it, go for it!! I kept thinking, I'll wait till Dec, then I moved it up to Thanksgiving, then I was like, "what am I waiting for?" I just pulled her out at the 9 weeks mark. I think it was my own fears more than a reality. My dd (1st grade) was content in school. But she is ecstatic at homeschooling. I know we made the right decision for our family.

Good luck to everyone contemplating this decision.