Homeschool and high school

[piglet1979]

she asks every day if she can be homeschooled. I tell her that I don't feel qualified to do that. I struggled in high school myself, with math and science, and those are the subjects that she is really struggling with right now too.

I did a paper once for my college class about homeschooling. I shadowed my aunt for the day to see what it was like. I was very against it at that time. 2 of my cousins were in high school at the time. They did a math class online (this was back in like 1999 or 2000). They did upper level classes on this that my aunt wasn't able to teach. There was a class and a teacher and they all interacted. It was pretty neat at the time. This would help with some of those classes.

My daughter is doing Math well beyond what I can do, so I can't help. She searches on line to figure out how to do a problem that she doesn't know. Her teacher last year in Algebra 2 and her college teacher for stats this year, have not been teaching in a way she understands it so she teachers herself. However, she is very driven and wants all A's so she will do whatever it will take. My son would never do this, so I know this does not work for all.

My son is going to school to be a teacher. You might be able to reach out to any local colleges to see if they have tutors. You can also talk with your school district to see if they have tutors that can help. When my daughter was younger she was behind in school and they had to pass a reading test in 3rd grade to move to 4th grade. The summer before 3rd grade we were able to get a tutor for her for the summer. It happened to be her Title 1 teacher.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

she asks every day if she can be homeschooled. I tell her that I don't feel qualified to do that. I struggled in high school myself, with math and science, and those are the subjects that she is really struggling with right now too.

Hopefully this doesn't come off poorly but it's also possible that some of your anxiety towards how you did in school and your confidence level in being able to help her now (which to be fair the way math is taught now might as well be a foreign language to me lol) may be rubbing off on her.

I think the anxiety or lack there off can influence how a parent may approach the situation. A parent who is more anxious about the difficulties whether academic or peer or both may be more prone to take action prematurely or in a way that is hasty because of course they don't want their child to be upset all the time or struggling especially if it was also a subject they themselves struggled with.

Like I said before just switching to homeschool or online school due to struggles in specific subjects is IMO an overreaction and doesn't even look at why such as the ways one is learning. Talk with your daughter about her struggles, is it the way she is being taught, is there an undiagnosed learning disability, can she talk with her teachers on ways to help her (which should be the first step before even considering withdrawing), etc. Then talk with her about the specific issues related to peers. Is her struggling in those two subjects contributing to her peer issues meaning are they picking on her because of it?

 

[TwoMisfits]

With all that said, if you decide to homeschool, it does not have to be a forever choice. It does not have to be a year long choice. It does not have to be a choice you make any longer than you want to do so.

If it were me, and my child was in 9th grade, having been miserable for her 7th and 8th grade years, and continuing that misery into 9th grade and now falling further and further behind...No question - I'd yank her at Thanksgiving (or possibly this weekend and just let her readjust for a few weeks herself before diving in), give myself a few weeks to come up with a plan with her input (b/c you want your child to be part of setting her own path), and we'd start slow in December trying things out before making a really great 9th grade Jan-June semester (that can even go into July and August in partial or full days b/c some folks do enjoy a slower, but longer, homeschool path). In June, we'd reevaluate if this is working and make plans for 10th grade. And that reevaluation should happen at least once a year.

Teaching a child to be miserable for the sake of misery isn't a great lesson to learn. A lot of life will bring misery on its own - love of learning should not be one of these areas b/c in the modern economy, you've got to always be ready to keep learning, so if you destroy that desire to learn now, your daughter may be badly set up for life afterwards.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Teaching a child to be miserable for the sake of misery isn't a great lesson to learn. A lot of life will bring misery on its own - love of learning should not be one of these areas b/c in the modern economy, you've got to always be ready to keep learning, so if you destroy that desire to learn now, your daughter may be badly set up for life afterwards.

I don't think anyone said anything of the sort

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Not a parent. Hug extra and thanks to all who are for the kind care you give your kids. Eons ago when I was in school it wasn't the best experience for me. To be fair some of tbat was home life stuff. Looking back I might have really appreciated an alternative schooling choice for sure by middle school. Prayers for kiddos of all ages to find healthy and positive footing.

 

[Travel60]

I skimmed but did not read every post. Have you talked with her teacher and the school counselor about the drama issues? Most schools are way on top of student interaction these days especially if any bullying is going on.

You may find there is an "instigator" and give her pointers to deal with him/her. Or you may find out your daughter is considered different for one reason or another (shy, quiet, mean, bossy) and be able to help her work around that.

Getting her involved in activities outside of school should help take the stress out of school interactions. They can become just not that important.

Homeschooling could be a viable option - I've seen good and I've seen bad - but it shouldn't be her escape from learning how to deal with people. Unless she has a documented learning disability her future university won't accommodate that and a future boss certainly won't. You have to be able to deal with people of all types.

 

[Forevermarypoppins]

Take this with a grain of salt, please

You know your daughter best of course. Think back, a long way back. Is there a trend of having a hard time dealing with change or is there a repeated occurrence of giving up on things and do you try to fix it? My kids are adults now but each one of them had a difficult social situation happen ( at different ages) and as much as I wanted to "fix it" I did my best to encourage and advise, wait and see. Thankfully those sad times for each of them worked themselves out.
I hope your daughter finds her way too!

 

[neverlandsky]

Classes 21/23/27 here. K, 6th, 9th, & College Freshman is always rough. It’s new environments, new people, and new expectations. After Winter break of every one of these years it gets better. Teachers relax a bit & work load is easier to manage.

In the friend department, there will always be drama. It settles down a lot Junior and Senior years. On the huge plus side of things it’s nonexistent in college. Education is such a small part of the day. 6 hours of a 24 hour day. However, things are better in public school if student takes AP classes. If student gets 4/5s on their AP exams it’s also is works as college credits and student can bypass some college classes getting a jumpstart on college. If student is doing well in classes definitely setup a counseling meeting to push to get into AP courses.

Another option to consider is Junior/Senior year of high school, school district might offer dual enrollment. Meaning student takes high school and college classes at the same time also getting a jump start on college. Heard great things about these programs offered.

Definitely focus on academics, personal growth, and goals. A positive attitude & open communication does wonders. Especially talks about the future. High school flys by so fast. College even more so.

We’ve always said not everyone wants to be friends. Children change and grow away from their friends too and make new friends that have the same goals and mannerisms as they do. People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime time. There will be challenges and from those challenges, growth.

We also implemented mental health days. Adults and teachers get to take PTOs, students should be allowed as well. We let the kids have at least 1 mental health day per quarter if needed. It’s enough to get refreshed and get back into things again. TBH, it was always used October/November. Basically mid-terms. Something about it, it’s always rough. I will say hardly ever used after Winter break. Winter break is the defining moment and over the hump so to speak. Plus there are more school breaks after winter break that break up school too.

Hang in there. It will get better.

 

[greeneyedchick]

I have homeschooled 3 kids from 4-8th grade. Although they went back to school for high school, they all supplemented their high school classes with CLEP tests, duel enrollment and FLVS (FL virtual school-which is used in public and private schools too). I would be happy to provide you with resources and answer any questions as I have a pretty firm understanding of what is needed for high school.

Also, be aware that your daughter doesn't have to commit to homeschooling for all of high school. She can try it out. If it doesn't work out, she can go back to school at any time. My kids actually preferred starting school mid-year. My kids bounced back and forth from school to homeschooling a few times. As long as you understand the overall rules in your state, there isn't an issue. Making your kid "stick it out" is only going to cause more mental anguish. My husband and a few of my close friends did not approve when I allowed one kid to try public school and switch back to homeschooling after a few weeks. Others disapproved of me not making my daughter continue to go to public school even though she was being bullied and miserable. I value mental health above all else and listened to my gut (and my kid's needs, of course) In the end, my oldest graduated valedictorian, got a nice college scholarship and started college with almost 2 years of college credits. My second one is graduating high school a year early, also got a nice scholarship and will be starting college with over a year's worth of credits. The third one is still homeschooling but will start high school with 8 high school classes already done. He'll have a lot more time for electives or to pursue an associate's degree in high school. Homeschooling offers a lot of flexibility.

Depending on your state and county, your daughter may be eligible to still attend some classes, sports and extracurricular activities at public school even when homeschooling. This is useful if your child loves a certain class but needs to avoid certain teachers or students in other classes. My son tried middle school for 3 weeks. It was a disaster, but there were 2 classes he liked. Per Florida's laws, he was allowed to take up to 4 classes at the public school each year. He decided to switch to homeschooling but attend those 2 classes for the rest of the year. Feel free to message me if you have questions.

 

[slo]

DD is having a hard time at school, not just with the school work, but with a lot of "friend" drama. It's very hard to see her so upset and sad all the time. I have gotten her in to dance as I feel like maybe if she makes a friend outside of school that will help. She is also going to be volunteering at our local YMCA in the child watch area. I'm just wondering if it is too late to homeschool. Is there anybody here that has decided to homeschool in the high school years? Thank you so much!

I’m so sorry to hear about your DD’s school problems - it is so hard to see your child sad. I have no advice about the homeschooling, but I do about you trying to have her make a friend(s) outside of school. I do believe that will be helpful for her. My DD21 played travel softball and not one girl on her team went to her HS, and I know for a fact, because she told me, how much she liked that. She looked forward to when she could see her teammates, and because they weren’t with each other all the time, the drama was very little. And if there was a snip it of drama, she didn’t have to worry about seeing them at school - having the space was good for everyone.

I hope you find what works best for your DD, and that she starts to feel better soon. You taking her feelings seriously, and not just blowing them off, will be huge for your relationship with her - she’ll always know how you listened to her and wanted to help her.
Take care and God Bless

 

[clori]

Does your school offer early college. My girls did that in high school. While it is not homeschooling one of my girls spent two years taking all her classes at a college campus with college students. She was able to do clubs at college and join their honor society etc. However she was still a high school student at her high school and could also participate in activities there and graduated from the high school. Other than classes she had access to what other high schoolers had such as being able to eat lunch there if it worked for her schedule, and was included in college planning type stuff. My youngest was a bit different because of covid. She only did one year of early college and though she planned to attend in person the college stayed fully online. She did luck out and was allowed to take chorus at high school which is why she only did 1 year - it just worked out chorus was offered at 7:45 when she never had a college class. They still needed to take all the classes left needed for graduation such as English, math etc. It is not homeschooling but might change your daughter's environment.

 

[DCLMP]

DD is having a hard time at school, not just with the school work, but with a lot of "friend" drama. It's very hard to see her so upset and sad all the time. I have gotten her in to dance as I feel like maybe if she makes a friend outside of school that will help. She is also going to be volunteering at our local YMCA in the child watch area. I'm just wondering if it is too late to homeschool. Is there anybody here that has decided to homeschool in the high school years? Thank you so much!

My kids were homeschooled. There are advantages and disadvantages. I would not do online school they will give her a ridiculous amount of work to make up for hours lost. Do you have a community college close by. My kids took classes there it only required placement tests. You don’t have the friend drama at a community college. If she is sad all the time I would take that very seriously. What does she want to do?