I went through something this in 2000-2001. DD#1 was going to a private Kindergarten, and midway through the year her Grandpa died suddenly of a heart attack. He'd watched the kids for me the night before. DD just went into a tailspin afterwards - not a sudden one, just mounting anxieties until she seemed to have to have one parent in the vicinity at all times.
We tried the psychologist route once - couldn't get her to talk, she wanted nothing to do with him. Her acid reflux (from birth) flared up again at age 5, and we ended up having talks with her doctor and a pediatric GI specialist from Mass General, to convince her that no, there was nothing wrong with her
heart, it was her stomach...it was just a mess and it was building on itself.
I said screw it and kept her home for the rest of the year, and we did Kindergarten work at home. She got better. The public school here let her into 1st grade - in September 2001. Slight relapse after 9/11, despite a total news block at my house so I'm still not quite sure what caused it, but she had a wonderful teacher who gets all the credit here. At this point I wasn't forcing her to go to school - she missed about 20 days that year and we did a lot of schoolwork at home, (and saw the principal quite a bit - who was also wonderful) but she was herself again by June. That's all we wanted. And today, in 4th grade, she's fine...self-sufficient, leaves the house early every morning so she can meet her friends in the schoolyard, stays after on Thursdays for a computer class. One absence so far for the year.
Very scary time, for her and for me, so I sympathize.
