**Holiday DRAMA** (b/c of budget or otherwise ;)

[Fierce Fairy]

My turn... I have a lot to vent so please bare with me,


Well my drama started Thanksgiving with my crazy uncle, my crazy aunt Kat(his play wife, they call each other husband and wife at church and she uses his last name at church but he tells her he is not going to marry her for this or that reason..been together for 30yrs), my crazy cousin, and my crazy mother. Well Thanksgiving is always at my mom's sisters aunt Lou house and Christmas dinner at mine. Aunt Lou ask my uncle if he and his family are coming to Thanksgiving, he says No because he might be dead. My aunt Lou is all upset thinking he might be sick. Then at Thanksgiving dinner where everyone contributes something so that it is not to much for one person here comes my aunt Kat and her grown 37yr old daughter that has not worked for more than 2 months in over 4 years with nothing. The adults draw names for gifts and we move on. Well 2 weeks later my uncle (who cosigned for his lazy grown daughter a car) decides to drop the car at my mom's without asking her to hide it from bill collects because lazy cousin is not paying for it. I tell them this is not acceptible..cousin stops talking to me (good she is so negative). Then aunt Kat calls my mom and says tell everyone to buy this and that for her grandkids, she and my uncle never buy anything for anyone elses kids. Then Christmas comes and time to exchange adult gifts. No gift from lazy cousin who pulled my mom name. Lazy cousin did not even bother to show. Mom is so angry she talks about holding lazy cousin gift hostage till she gets her gift. Hubby picked lazy cousin name (uggghhh). Mom going on and on about holding gift hostage to the point my bother and I have to tell her to let it go. Aunt Kat grandkids get gifts and don't even say thank you. Uncle does not show for Thanksgiving or Christmas because he is not talking to my mom but he drops off the car at her house. Then uncle with mental disorder shows for Christmas and stinks up the place, he has not taken bath in weeks. Hubby has to disinfect the sofa twice. FAMILY GOTTA LOVE THEM!

 

[ado121]

no offence to those who have added their stories...as i have added mine, but thank goodness i am not the only one who deals with drama on christmas......

when it happened to me i was sad. but now that i have read your stories...i am sad for me and you!

who needs all this crap...

lets go to disneyland/world!

 

[Mom2SamandJames]

no offence to those who have added their stories...as i have added mine, but thank goodness i am not the only one who deals with drama on christmas......

when it happened to me i was sad. but now that i have read your stories...i am sad for me and you!

who needs all this crap...

lets go to disneyland/world!

Sounds good to me!!! We could all use a little less drama right now.

 

[Alice's Mommy]

I'll play!

A little background: I have two younger sisters, both of which have kids. One sister is married to a huge loser who has in the past treated my mom very poorly. The other sister is currently unemployed by choice, living with and off my mom by choice, and has all the baby mama drama she can create.

I am a pampered Chef consultant and last month my mom bought over $400 worth of kitchen stuff for my sisters. $100 for one, $300 for the other: I know this as I wrapped the gifts. The sister who is mooching off my mom is the one who got the bigger gift. My mom also bought them some new clothes, plus stuff for their kids. (Both sisters have one child a piece and each child received roughly the same amount of gifts my two children combined received)

At the start of December DH and I had a bunch of bills roll in all at the same time so my commission check ($400) and my regular paycheck ($700) were gone and we hadn't even started Christmas shopping. My mom knew this. She also knew that DH and I had sold some gold, which included our wedding bands for some cash to at least get through the two weeks until our paychecks came in. (we both get paid bi-weekly on the same Fridays).

On the 11th my mom and I had arranged to meet and do the gift swap so that we could have each others gifts for Christmas morning. (I live 2 hours away from my mom). At this time I found out that my mom had bought herself a Wii, something she always called a time stealer. DH and I have been wanting to get the kids a Wii and my mom starts bragging to me that she got a great deal on hers and that I should really get one for the kids. I was a little ticked, but whatever. I knew that she had been generous with my sisters and she would likewise do the same with DH and I, especially since we were struggling so very much, right?

I got a $50 gift card to the local supermarket. That was it. I was FURIOUS! On top of that my mom kept lecturing me, when I expressed concern that I hadn't even bought one present yet for my kids (DD5 and DS4) that she had bought the kids plenty of gifts and that they would love what she got. IT WAS ALL CLOTHES!!! She told me that she wouldn't buy them toys until they kept their rooms clean. (Their bedrooms are untidy but not the pits that she makes them out to be) She bought both my niece and nephew toys in addition to clothes, but my kids she decides to make examples of.

Frankly I am done with it. The holidays should be about joy, peace, harmony. I get none of that with my family and don't even get me started on DH's family. I'm sticking to the idea that "Friends are the family we make for ourselves" and just limiting visits with the family to random Saturdays and/or Sundays in January, February, March and August. No big holidays for anyone to ruin, except Valentine's Day. (V-day is just about the chocolate for me and with that much sugar in my bloodstream I can't be mad at anyone)

 

[momof1princess]

no offence to those who have added their stories...as i have added mine, but thank goodness i am not the only one who deals with drama on christmas......

when it happened to me i was sad. but now that i have read your stories...i am sad for me and you!

who needs all this crap...

lets go to disneyland/world!

you drive, i'll buy the gas! LET'S GO!

 

[hipchickie]

HA - Three kids under the age of 3 and they were ONLY 45 minutes late? Sounds like they were doing pretty well.

As a father of 3 young kids myself, I can attest that 3 kids is not triple the work of 1 kid - its more like 10 times the work.

Give your sister a break - or better yet - lend a hand when she needs it

I thought the exact thing myself!!
Does the OP really think her sister was just being inconsiderate by being late? Congrats for having your kid eat with silverware



No stories here yet, but we have learned our lessons and have figured out how to keep things pretty drama free....
we haven't had presents with the IL's yet though, but the worst that will happen is that it will be another year that my MIL gets me earrings (I know I should be more gracious, but finally last year I told her that I just don't wear jewelry. She told me that she specifically got them hypoallergenic for me I don't need hypoallergenic, I just don't wear jewelry)

 

[bumbershoot]

She is only five year's old. My niece shows up with her new American Girl doll from Target and my daughter says "that's not an American Girl doll, it's the one from Target that I saw". My SIL pipes in that it's American Girl. Of course, I quickly say "It's a new one that you don't know from AG". I was so embarassed and had to speak to her about keeping your mouth quiet so as to avoid hurting other's feelings. Unfortunately, it then lead to a conversation that she was only telling the truth that Auntie was lying and what's wrong with having a Target doll anyway. She doesn't know prices yet and wasn't being snobbish at all.

How do you handle situations like this?

SIL was being ridiculous thinking she can give something to her daughter and no other girl is going to notice.

Kids say EVERYTHING. My 6 year old talked about how a man at the coffee shop looked like he was turning into an elf today. The man was about 3 feet away. DS didn't understand why I wanted him to be quiet, and of course if I got all stern about it it would have drawn more attention to us, but he just doesn't get that he should not say that stuff. It's how he feels, he doesn't think it's BAD, it just is what it is, and he isn't lying...it's hard for littler kids to get.

My kids didn't even know that Nike was a brand until they were in their mid- teens. Teacher gave one of them an assignment where he had to list brand names of various things and he didn't know how to do it.

I never made a big deal about brand names and I'm glad I didn't. They are now adult/nearly adults and they really don't care one way or the other.

Didn't watch much TV when the kids were little? Careful with the school friends?

We only watched PBS until well into elementary school, but we certainly knew about brand names even before we moved to normal TV. My poor mom; she absolutely could not afford it, but we sure wanted it! We got running shoes that were some brand name b/c that's all there was for running (this was when jogging was new and big), but other than that the first "brand name" I got was Gloria Vanderbilt jeans...and those weren't Calvin so I hated them. My poor mom.

I think that you just got lucky with your kids....

... her DD(also 17) and said taste this wine. According to my DD she told her mom she didn't like alcohol. She supposedly made her try it, then said she would buy some sweeter wine so she would be able to drink it. This after my other SIL had let her DD drink hard lemonade at Christmas dinner at age 14(she's now a heavy drinker at 21) and also asked my then 10 yo why she'd never done jello shots.

FWIW, it doesn't always work that way. My mom let us try wine and beer when we were rather young, and we never ended up with problems. My brother, who had it earlier than I did, didn't even drink alcohol until well into his 20s, and even then it took a LONG time for him to like it (not until he had an IPA beer!).

This is why kids do/should make lists for everything they want and then "Santa" can divide the list between what he buys/grandparents/aunts and uncles...so no one gets duplicates of toys. But you always get that one family member that just won't listen and thinks they can out-do everyone else.

The story in question was about someone who had peeked at Santa lists not meant for her....

...she's got all these pills set out to take! the pain med, a mystery pill she would NOT identify to me (these were for bedtime); a sleep md and THREE soma (these were for when she woke up in the middle of the night)! WTH? THREE soma!?!
i was so afraid of what the combination of all those pills might do to her, or cause her to do to herself or to us, that i stayed awake all night.

I would call her doctor's office, not to ASK, but to GIVE information. And I would relay my concerns. And make sure they knew that she doesn't have care-providers for after the surgery.

Frankly I am done with it. The holidays should be about joy, peace, harmony. I get none of that with my family and don't even get me started on DH's family. I'm sticking to the idea that "Friends are the family we make for ourselves" and just limiting visits with the family to random Saturdays and/or Sundays in January, February, March and August. No big holidays for anyone to ruin, except Valentine's Day. (V-day is just about the chocolate for me and with that much sugar in my bloodstream I can't be mad at anyone)

Sounds like a most excellent plan!

Does the OP really think her sister was just being inconsiderate by being late?

The inconsiderate part was them not *calling* when they had to have known when dinner was. That's the problematic part.

OF course if you have a MIL like I have, then no amount of calling makes a bit of difference, because she doesn't care. You were late, and nothing excuses that.

 

[DVCBELLE]

I thought the exact thing myself!!
Does the OP really think her sister was just being inconsiderate by being late? Congrats for having your kid eat with silverware



No stories here yet, but we have learned our lessons and have figured out how to keep things pretty drama free....
we haven't had presents with the IL's yet though, but the worst that will happen is that it will be another year that my MIL gets me earrings (I know I should be more gracious, but finally last year I told her that I just don't wear jewelry. She told me that she specifically got them hypoallergenic for me I don't need hypoallergenic, I just don't wear jewelry)

I have the same problem with my MIL - the holes in my ears have closed and have been for at least 5 or more years yet I get new earrings every year and they are always expensive and not returnable!! This summer my DD said something about wanting me to get my ears pierced with her - I guess it clicked b/c there were no earrings this year!!

 

[wlake]

Ooh -- I'm here to join the "don't have pierced ears" club! Too bad I didn't have it done when I was a kid -- then I would have discovered I have an allergy to the alloy metals in gold BEFORE I had an expensive set of wedding rings!

My holiday drama is over now that we're back from visiting my MIL. She made her usual comments about how I raise my children and I should have bitten my tongue harder, so I'm feeling guilty tonight. I did manage to walk away tactfully from all of the political conversations -- we have completely conflicting views.

My BIL made a few comments of his own, but I didn't get upset until he taught my boys (ages 5 and 8) a song about a drunk bus driver, made even worse by the fact we suspect his father had a drinking problem.

It's so easy to see what I should have done and said now that I'm back on my own couch!

 

[Ephany]

Well I thought I didn't have any drama, but today my family let their freak flag fly. I called my mom to see how things are going and it went straight to voicemail. No biggie, she's probably at work. She calls back hours later and immediately starts in on a tirade of how I should have known that she was working that particular shift today. Ummm, no. My mom works every shift on a random basis and frequently picks up extra hours so I have no clue when she's working or not working.

Then DD tries to thank her for the Christmas gifts (I did call on Christmas, but my mom made it very clear she didn't want to talk that day so DD didn't get a chance to say thank you), and my mom cuts her off to rant and rave about how she didn't get ANY Christmas presents (never mind that DH and I sent a box with multiple gifts and my brother took a train halfway across the country to see her for Christmas) except one from my dad which she hates. Disclaimer: My dad sucks at Christmas presents, he always has, probably always will. This is why he sends us kids cash. He tries, but something's always wrong with what he chooses for her. Honestly, considering the screaming fit she throws, I wonder why he tries at all.

Eventually I manage to get in a word or two and she immediately starts in about some stupid $5 table top Christmas tree she bought 10 years ago at Lowes that my dad donated to Goodwill when they moved 2,000 miles. Every phone call I swear she brings up this tree and any other item she's convinced he threw out just to torment her. Never mind the fact that they couldn't move 30+ years of junk and she's a borderline hoarder so there was A LOT of stuff. It took my dad a year to clean the house plus go through the two storage sheds she had in the back yard. She can't just buy one of something, if it's on sale she'll buy every one the store has even if she has no use for the item.

It's exhausting, she's so negative, never sees the good side of things and won't let a grudge go, ever. She's also constantly nagging at me to move where they live. It's not home, (I didn't grow up there) and I'm perfectly happy in my southern sunshine. I am not moving to a place where I'd have to retake my licensing boards and they have 8 feet of snow. Our home is here and our friends are here. I think she's just angry that she can't micromanage my life like she does my sibs. Ugh. I think I'm just turning off my phone for a few days; every time I talk to her it's like she sucks the happy right out of me.

 

[spacemountainmom]

Yeah, I will go there.....

My drama started 11 years ago when the in-laws moved to the other end of the country. Birthdays and Christmas have been a huge hassle ever since. My mil would buy stuff that didn't fit from stores that we don't have in the midwest so I would have to send stuff back to her. She finally figured out to buy at stores that we have here and send gift receipts.

In-laws have moved several times in the last 11 years....each time they get further away from home - where we live and where they are from. It has become impossible for us to visit them and they only come here once a year and spend most of their time "home" visiting friends. They visit us maybe three times in the nearly three weeks they are here.

Next problem, my mil still thinks that my dd15 is still the 4 year old that she left behind. Most any clothes she buys are completely not my daughters' taste, style, color or size. Usually, she sends a gift receipt and dd can exchange for something she would prefer.

In November, I get a call from mil wanted to know dh's current pant size. She wants to buy him designer jeans. I say, "DESIGNER JEANS FOR DH???" I am dumbfounded.....dh has never been a designer jeans kind of guy. He thinks levis are too expensive. Fortunately, they didn't seem to have any in his size, but I spent the whole holiday season wondering if he was going to get designer jeans.

I usually get some kind of jewelry or clothing that isn't my taste or style, but I suck it up and deal with it. This year mil actually hit the ball out of the park and bought me a Vera Bradley bag in a style and pattern that I love!!!

DH didn't get designer jeans.....he was thrilled. He was happy with his flannel shirt and new shoes.

DD got an outfit that is not her style and there were no gift receipts included. She called gma to thank her for the outfit and ask for gift receipts. She tried to spare gma's feelings by saying it didn't fit right. Gma tells her she doesn't have any gift receipts.......what???? She tells dd the approximate amount of money she spent and said Kohl's will take it back.

Yesterday dd and I go to Kohl's. I discover as we are in line that one of the items is from JCP. Oh, great! We finally get to the front of the line and dd is offered $19.29 for the two items that gma paid over $40 for. I say no thank you and dd calls gma to see if we can get the receipt. Gma says she will email a copy of the receipt. I say that the store is not going to accept that. She finally agrees to send the actual receipt and the one for JCP too. OK, fabulous. We head for home.

After we get home, gma texts dd and says to just return the items and gma will send dd a check for $35. I say no as this seems rather dumb to me. Why wouldn't she just send the receipt? Why spend more than you intended? In-laws are retired and on a fixed income.

DD asks if we should just mail clothing back to gma so she can return it. No...gma doesn't want that and again tells us to return items and she will mail a check. Um....no....don't need to be on her bad list any more than we already are.

By this time, I am so frustrated that I tell dd to just keep the outfit and deal with it. DD is mad, I am mad and I am pretty darn certain that gma is mad. UGH!!!

Finally gma texts dd back and tells her she will send the receipts. Thank you!!!! Was that so hard???? I will happily mail them back to her when we are done with them.

Why on earth would you not send gift receipts when you are sending gifts to the other side of the country to family that you see only once a year and don't really know or care what their likes and dislikes are????

Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to sound ungrateful, but why does she have to make it so hard. Especailly since she is the most difficult person to buy for. She routinely complains about any gift we buy her.....nothing is ever right, she doesn't like it, she's tired of getting "that", it arrived late. I don't know why we try and spare her feelings....she never tries to spare ours.

To end this I will just note that this is the woman who told me last year to send her a check for Christmas and b-days (fil's bday is Dec and mil's is Jan) so she could finally get something she actually wanted. DH about had a coronary when I told him.

gee, thanks! I feel so much better now!

 

[DVCBELLE]

Yeah, I will go there.....

My drama started 11 years ago when the in-laws moved to the other end of the country. Birthdays and Christmas have been a huge hassle ever since. My mil would buy stuff that didn't fit from stores that we don't have in the midwest so I would have to send stuff back to her. She finally figured out to buy at stores that we have here and send gift receipts.

In-laws have moved several times in the last 11 years....each time they get further away from home - where we live and where they are from. It has become impossible for us to visit them and they only come here once a year and spend most of their time "home" visiting friends. They visit us maybe three times in the nearly three weeks they are here.

Next problem, my mil still thinks that my dd15 is still the 4 year old that she left behind. Most any clothes she buys are completely not my daughters' taste, style, color or size. Usually, she sends a gift receipt and dd can exchange for something she would prefer.

In November, I get a call from mil wanted to know dh's current pant size. She wants to buy him designer jeans. I say, "DESIGNER JEANS FOR DH???" I am dumbfounded.....dh has never been a designer jeans kind of guy. He thinks levis are too expensive. Fortunately, they didn't seem to have any in his size, but I spent the whole holiday season wondering if he was going to get designer jeans.

I usually get some kind of jewelry or clothing that isn't my taste or style, but I suck it up and deal with it. This year mil actually hit the ball out of the park and bought me a Vera Bradley bag in a style and pattern that I love!!!

DH didn't get designer jeans.....he was thrilled. He was happy with his flannel shirt and new shoes.

DD got an outfit that is not her style and there were no gift receipts included. She called gma to thank her for the outfit and ask for gift receipts. She tried to spare gma's feelings by saying it didn't fit right. Gma tells her she doesn't have any gift receipts.......what???? She tells dd the approximate amount of money she spent and said Kohl's will take it back.

Yesterday dd and I go to Kohl's. I discover as we are in line that one of the items is from JCP. Oh, great! We finally get to the front of the line and dd is offered $19.29 for the two items that gma paid over $40 for. I say no thank you and dd calls gma to see if we can get the receipt. Gma says she will email a copy of the receipt. I say that the store is not going to accept that. She finally agrees to send the actual receipt and the one for JCP too. OK, fabulous. We head for home.

After we get home, gma texts dd and says to just return the items and gma will send dd a check for $35. I say no as this seems rather dumb to me. Why wouldn't she just send the receipt? Why spend more than you intended? In-laws are retired and on a fixed income.

DD asks if we should just mail clothing back to gma so she can return it. No...gma doesn't want that and again tells us to return items and she will mail a check. Um....no....don't need to be on her bad list any more than we already are.

By this time, I am so frustrated that I tell dd to just keep the outfit and deal with it. DD is mad, I am mad and I am pretty darn certain that gma is mad. UGH!!!

Finally gma texts dd back and tells her she will send the receipts. Thank you!!!! Was that so hard???? I will happily mail them back to her when we are done with them.

Why on earth would you not send gift receipts when you are sending gifts to the other side of the country to family that you see only once a year and don't really know or care what their likes and dislikes are????

Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to sound ungrateful, but why does she have to make it so hard. Especailly since she is the most difficult person to buy for. She routinely complains about any gift we buy her.....nothing is ever right, she doesn't like it, she's tired of getting "that", it arrived late. I don't know why we try and spare her feelings....she never tries to spare ours.

To end this I will just note that this is the woman who told me last year to send her a check for Christmas and b-days (fil's bday is Dec and mil's is Jan) so she could finally get something she actually wanted. DH about had a coronary when I told him.

gee, thanks! I feel so much better now!

I don't know all the history but I NEVER let people know I am returning something. If there is no gift receipt then I just take it to the store and take what they offer me. I can't fathom that you used to mail things back to her to return. I am willing to be that your MIL got some kind of deal on the outfit and doesn't want you to know that she only spent what they offered or used Kohl's cash.

 

[dfchelbay]

I have never returned a gift from a relative. Maybe its just me, but the thought has never crossed my mind to do that. With DH, I would, as he would with me. It's our money, and we should get something for our money that fits, we like, etc. But when it is a gift from someone outside our household, if we don't like it, or it doesn't fit, its just an oh, well, situation for us. I wouldn't even know what store the gift came from, and I don't think I could ask either...but that's just us. It just is what it is for us. More power to those that go get something they'd want with a return.

 

[sk!mom]

I don't know all the history but I NEVER let people know I am returning something. If there is no gift receipt then I just take it to the store and take what they offer me. I can't fathom that you used to mail things back to her to return. I am willing to be that your MIL got some kind of deal on the outfit and doesn't want you to know that she only spent what they offered or used Kohl's cash.

Exactly what I was thinking. Whatever happened to accepting a gift graciously and then returning privately, if necessary? There are several threads right now about people shopping clearance sales for next Christmas. If anything needs to be returned they won't have receipts to offer a year from now.

This is why I'm so tired of gift exchanging. It is frustrating to get a git that you have no use for, would never wear, and now have to store, return, or give away and it all seems like such a waste of money.

I didn't really have Christmas drama but participated in three different Dirty Santa exchanges at holiday gatherings. Honestly, I think I'm done with those. One went fine. One was an almost complete bust with very little stealing due to the fact that several people brought dollar store or really tacky items. You know the kind where the person opens it and immediatly sticks it under their chair since they know that no one will steal it. This led to a couple of people making rude comments and a really uncomfortable vibe for the remainder of the party. The third one was a family party. At this one, a couple of people bought something they wanted, choose their own gift and then sat back and watched. A couple of others apparently just grabbed something, anything on Christmas Eve. I spent way too much time and money shopping for all three to have them end up sapping my Christmas spirit.

I'm tired of the whole process- Spending hours shopping for something that someone would love when I have no idea who will actually end up with the gift, sitting through an exchange where someone almost always gets mad when they get stuck with the gift that no one wants, and trying to keep my Christmas spirit.

 

[DaniB]

I don't know all the history but I NEVER let people know I am returning something. If there is no gift receipt then I just take it to the store and take what they offer me. I can't fathom that you used to mail things back to her to return. I am willing to be that your MIL got some kind of deal on the outfit and doesn't want you to know that she only spent what they offered or used Kohl's cash.

I have never returned a gift from a relative. Maybe its just me, but the thought has never crossed my mind to do that. With DH, I would, as he would with me. It's our money, and we should get something for our money that fits, we like, etc. But when it is a gift from someone outside our household, if we don't like it, or it doesn't fit, its just an oh, well, situation for us. I wouldn't even know what store the gift came from, and I don't think I could ask either...but that's just us. It just is what it is for us. More power to those that go get something they'd want with a return.

Exactly what I was thinking. Whatever happened to accepting a gift graciously and then returning privately, if necessary? There are several threads right now about people shopping clearance sales for next Christmas. If anything needs to be returned they won't have receipts to offer a year from now.

I get what everyone is saying, and for my part - I rarely will ever ask someone for the receipt. I do not want to hurt the gift giver's feelings.

On the flip-side however... When I purchase a present that I'm not quite sure about... or think maybe it might not be the right size/style/color (ie, clothing), or a toy that another child just might have already... I *always* try to remember to include the gift receipt with the gift. Just in case they need to return/exchange for whatever reason but do not want to let me know.

 

[sk!mom]

Next problem, my mil still thinks that my dd15 is still the 4 year old that she left behind. Most any clothes she buys are completely not my daughters' taste, style, color or size. Usually, she sends a gift receipt and dd can exchange for something she would prefer.

In November, I get a call from mil wanted to know dh's current pant size. She wants to buy him designer jeans. I say, "DESIGNER JEANS FOR DH???" I am dumbfounded.....dh has never been a designer jeans kind of guy. He thinks levis are too expensive. Fortunately, they didn't seem to have any in his size, but I spent the whole holiday season wondering if he was going to get designer jeans.

Maybe it's time to just accept her gfts and move on. I can imagine that she is probably feeling like you are all pretty ungrateful right now. It seems that you are kind of making drama where there could have been none had you just accepted graciously.

My nephew drew my DD14 for Christmas. My brother worried non-stop that they would choose something that my very fashion conscious DD14 wouldn't like. He told her several times that she should be honest if she didn't like it. I asked my DD about his comments and she said, "don't worry mom, I know how to accept a gift." The gift was a nice sweater from AE. Had it been the wrong size or something that she truly wouldn't wear, we would have waited for them to head home and then privately exchanged it.

 

[spacemountainmom]

I don't know all the history but I NEVER let people know I am returning something. If there is no gift receipt then I just take it to the store and take what they offer me. I can't fathom that you used to mail things back to her to return. I am willing to be that your MIL got some kind of deal on the outfit and doesn't want you to know that she only spent what they offered or used Kohl's cash.

I just don't see how this is so wrong. MIL bought clothes that did not fit my kids and I am supposed to just keep them. She used to shop a great deal at Dillards....there isn't a Dillards within at least 500 miles of my house.

Believe me.....I'm not making the drama. As I said before this is coming from the woman who calls and complains to me about every single gift we've ever given her.

She doesn't like the wine we bought her.
She doesn't like Bath and Body Works stuff any more.
She doesn't want books anymore because they can use the library.
She doesn't want restaurant gift cards because they end up spending some of their money.
She doesn't doesn't want gift cards from from Home Depot or Lowe's any more because she's mad at them.
She doesn't want Target gift cards because she just ends up buying necessities.
She's just mad because a gift might arrive a day after her birthday or Mother's day because we didn't mail it three weeks in advance.

The best part is most of the time her son picks out gifts for her and handles sending them. Guess who gets to listen to her rants? Just remember she called me last Christmas and demanded that we send her a check. Not very nice or polite....


So yeah, I really don't have a problem with telling her that something doesn't fit and wanting to exchange it. Most years we've quietly exchanged the kids' too small clothing since she usually sends gift receipts. Like I said before, she generally sends me something I neither want or need, but I graciously say thank you and do not complain to her as she does to me.

I also think that a mother would know that her 43 year old son is not going to like or wear designer jeans. He's a pretty basic jeans, tshirt or sweatshirt kind of guy. He wears uniforms to work and has never been into clothes at all. He'd rather buy more hunting or fishing stuff.

I also believe that if she spent $40+ on an outfit, we should get that much to spend on something else. I wouldn't want to someone to not get back what I paid for something if they didn't like it. I always give a gift receipt with any gift I give. If they already have it or don't like it, they can get something else. I am not offended.

My dh wants to call his mom and ask her if we can just stop exchanging gifts as he is tired of her drama. However, he doesn't dare because he knows she'll just get mad.

I probably should have prefaced the whole vent by explaining how dh's family is.....let's just say there is always a great deal of drama since there is no person in the world who is a fabulous as my dh's niece and mil has not stopped telling anyone that in the last 24 years. That's just the beginning.

Peace out....

 

[tyniknate]

Don't even get me started with the in-laws. I lose brain cells just being in the same house with them.

My DH had to drop out of college because he couldn't afford to continue school and work full time. His parents wouldn't help at all. His two brothers were the same situation - no help from parents at all. Then along comes his sister, the princess of the family. She received a 100% paid four-year degree from one of the most expensive schools in our area ($100,000+) paid in full by mommy & daddy. She also received a car for high school graduation. The boys all had to pay for their own cars, gas and insurance.

My FIL complained about having to rent a tux for my wedding. When she got married you would have thought it was the wedding of the century! Paid in full by mommy & daddy.

We got a washer and dryer from the in-laws for our wedding gift. She got a down-payment for a house.

Care to hear more? I have three boys and they received a discount video game for Christmas from grandma and grandpa. Fine. It's Christmas and it's about the season - not the gifts. Guess who now has a little girl? Guess what the girl received? Dolls, doll house, stoller, airplane for doll, outfits for doll and plenty of outfits for herself. I swear - I give up! If she thinks the boys don't see what is happening she is wrong and all I can say is that she will pay for it in the long run.

One more? My brother-in-law is an idiot. He spent Christmas day talking about Michael Vick and what a role model he is for kids. Are you serious?! After more than 30 minutes of heated discussion with him over this I gave up and walked away. Memo to self......my kids never hang out with Uncle Tom and his kids without additional adult supervision!

 

[MissBritt]

I just don't see how this is so wrong. MIL bought clothes that did not fit my kids and I am supposed to just keep them. She used to shop a great deal at Dillards....there isn't a Dillards within at least 500 miles of my house.

Believe me.....I'm not making the drama. As I said before this is coming from the woman who calls and complains to me about every single gift we've ever given her.

Peace out....

Given your situation, asking for the reciept is perfectly acceptable in my opinion. I don't think you are in the wrong. I know my mom or MIL would rather me exchange a gift than keep one that would never fit, etc.

 

[tyniknate]

One comment about giving gift receipts. Has anyone else run into this situation. I've twice included gift receipts for clothing I've given. When the item was returned to the store with the receipt the full amount I paid was not given. Instead the item had been clearanced since my purchase and the person was only given the clearance price. When I found out I dug out the original receipt and headed back to the store with it and the refund slip the gift receiver was given. What a racket! The full amount was then refunded, but not without a hassle. I no longer do gift receipts. If the item doesn't fit I simply give the original receipt.